Turning Chapter 754 (Patreon)

Chapter 754

"The things you gave me in the carriage, they shattered while I was fighting that man. That's why it happened."

Despite his effort to speak calmly, Yuder couldn't hide the hot anger and a hint of frustration in his voice. He felt slightly ashamed that Kishiar had caught him being so bothered by such a trivial matter.

Had it been anything else that broke, Yuder wouldn't have cared. If it were a different part of his clothing torn to shreds, or even if he sustained worse injuries, it wouldn't have mattered.

But no matter how much he thought 'what if,' what's done cannot be undone. It was the candy that broke, and Yuder was angry, consumed by the thought that he must inflict as much damage on the enemy as he felt in his anger.

In hindsight, it was quite foolish.

"..."

Kishiar, aware of this, remained silent for a long time after hearing Yuder's confession. Yuder thought he would have reacted the same way, even if he were the Cavalry Commander.

To think he used more than half of his strength during the mission just because he was angry over something so insignificant. His excuse that he was confident enough to handle whatever happened next, using only the remaining strength, lost its ground after the series of events in the southern branch.

One should always remain calm and take full responsibility for any unplanned actions, including controlling all the variables. Yet, he failed to do so himself. What would he have done if someone else had done such a thing during his time as Commander Yudrain?

'Certainly, I would have forcefully corrected that person until they came to their senses.'

Yes, that would have been the right approach.

But the infuriating part was that even knowing this, he still felt a surge of emotion betraying reason when he thought of that time…

Struggling to gather his thoughts, Yuder spoke, "I was swept away by a moment’s emotion, knowing that I should not be off guard. I will make sure that the same thing does not happen next time."

Finally, Kishiar spoke with a long sigh, "This is maddening."

His murmuring was not far from Yuder's expectations.

He must have been worried about how serious it would be to keep it a secret that he suddenly used his strength so much while fighting calmly so far. It’s no wonder he was dumbfounded that the truth was just this.

"So, you're saying the candies I gave you in the carriage were unexpectedly destroyed during your fight with Aton?"

Yuder nodded slightly.

"And that made you so angry that you used your power to that extent?"

"Yes."

"And you still have significant resentment towards him because of that incident?"

"...To put it briefly, yes."

"May I hug you for a moment?"

"What?"

Before Yuder could fully express his confusion, Kishiar opened his arms wide and embraced him. The hug was so strong that Yuder felt completely engulfed.

'What the...'

His face was buried between a blanket and bare chest, where he could see nothing but pitch darkness.

As he gasped for breath in surprise and confusion, the grip around him loosened slightly, though the overwhelming force remained.

And then, through the pressure, he could feel a heart beating rapidly. Realizing it was the sound of Kishiar's heart thumping against his chest, Yuder opened his mouth to speak, but at that moment, lips brushed the top of his head.

"How shall I proceed?"

It was a kiss akin to that of a child unable to control their emotions. Lacking practiced seduction or refined composure, Kishiar deeply lamented as he continually pressed his lips against the forehead, hair, and cheeks.

"Truly, what should I do? I am at a loss for how to cope with these feelings. It feels as though I've lived in vain. This must be what madness feels like."

"Wha... What are you saying?" The words came out broken, stuttered in bewilderment as the kissing persisted.

"Commander."

Though he tried to push away, he couldn't. Never before had he felt such a disparity in strength, even when they embraced fiercely. It dawned on him that Kishiar had been restraining himself all this time.

Even amidst this, the thunderous beating of a heart resonated, compelling Yuder to seriously contemplate what he had done.

'What is this?'

The kissing resumed, overwhelming his thoughts. It wasn't lust, but a strange, unfamiliar emotion that sent a wave of heat over Yuder's skin.

Finally, after some time, Kishiar released Yuder. Drained of all strength, Yuder gazed up at a face wearing an expression he had never seen before, radiant and twinkling, as if embracing all the world's light. Yuder found himself speechless, lost in staring at him.

"I apologize. I embraced you too tightly; it must have hurt."

"No... That was fine, but..."

"What can I do? You're too adorable to resist."

"Are you referring to me?"

Yuder retorted, feeling as if he had heard something he shouldn't have.

"Who else would it be?"

Kishiar laughed heartily.

"It delights and endears me that the one who stole my heart became so angry for the first time over a trivial, worthless trinket I gave."

"It wasn't a worthless trinket."

Yuder sharply responded amidst the turmoil, an instinctive retort.

"It was a gift from you, Commander. It was something that shouldn't have been broken, that I should have protected at all costs."

"I know."

Kishiar chuckled again, gently stroking Yuder's hair.

"Even if I still had that candy and could give it to you now, it wouldn't ease your mood, would it?"

Yuder mulled over his words, realizing their truth. Even if Kishiar gave him new candy right now, it wouldn't alleviate his lingering anger. That persistent rage was not simply because the candy was a rare and valuable treat.

The candy from Kishiar was initially just an awkward token of appreciation. However, after the mission in the west, it had transformed for Yuder into a medium carrying various memories and meanings.

The fact that he couldn't salvage it, even for a moment, due to a lapse in attention, was intolerable.

Why had he acted that way at the time? There were other ways to avoid the situation, but why had he rolled on the ground? If he had realized his pocket was torn, it wouldn't have gone that far... Beneath these thoughts lay the disappointment of not having protected a cherished memory-laden item.

Even after knocking Aton down, the deepest layer of that anger that didn’t disappear was a deeper anger and regret towards himself, who seemed to have lost the memories of the two of them by moving stupidly.

But no matter how angry or regretful he was, he couldn’t bury himself like Aton. So it was only natural that his anger flared up every time he thought about it.

What a clumsy expression of affection this was.

Kishiar perceived Yuder's emotions more clearly than Yuder himself. A smile, brimming with emotions beyond his own control, cascaded across his face.

“That’s why I can’t help but find you adorable.”

Once again, lips descended upon the top of a head. Yuder, harboring a yearning too intense to contain, accepted the brief kiss filled with a regret that could not be expressed otherwise, without bewilderment but with quiet acceptance.

“You must have been deeply upset. But it seems the price has been paid in full, so upon waking, let it trouble you no more. I am not in the slightest disappointed, and that suffices.”

As Yuder listened to Kishiar’s whispered words, their hands clasped together, he closed his eyes. Only then did he feel the anger that had been clawing at his heart gradually melt away upon hearing the voice that tickled his ears.

This time, truly, he let go of everything and fell into a peaceful slumber."