Classic Game Room the Book: Part 3 (Patreon)

“This is one of the weirdest dreams I’ve had in a long time. I hope I remember it.” Mark said while taking another giant swig of coffee while scratching the snoozing Stella behind the ear.

Edit-Station 1’s expression changed from a giant smile to a stern look, as stern as a vector graphics monitor could look. “I know it sounds crazy, but you have to believe me. All universes need you right now. The fate of everything, everywhere, in every time, is at stake. Finish your pancakes, and let’s go!”

“Look, even if I did believe you, which I don’t, I can’t just leave and go on some fantastic intergalactic adventure! I have a job and a family. I have to get back to reality at some point.”

“Open your mind! This is reality!” The broken computer squawked.

“No more stupid adventures! No more space arcades! No more dumb talking computers!”

Edit-Station 1 glared at Mark across the table.

“My days reviewing video games and making an ass of myself on the Internet are over, and that includes saving the universe and flying laser whatevers. You’re just going to have to find someone else. I need to get back home and pick up the kids from practice.” And with that, Mark finished his last bite of blueberry pancakes. “This was a great breakfast. What do I owe you?”

“You owe me an all universes saving.”

“No, I need to go home.”

“Home won’t be there soon. You’re better off here.”

Mark looked less amused and more annoyed.

The computer continued, “I know this is a lot to take in at once, but you still exist at home because that’s in another universe. There’s multiple yous in multiple universes after all, but you’re only aware of the one that you’re in at the time.”

“And what universe are we in now?”

“Think of this as a purgatory between universes.”

Mark stood up. “Seriously. It’s time to wake up.” He slapped himself. Nothing happened.

Edit-Station 1 sighed. “Ok, but you’re going to find out pretty soon that you have a big job to do. This is going to affect you.”

“What’s going to affect me!? What is this?” Mark shouted while gesticulating wildly. A few blurry customers looked up from their plates, and Stella opened her eyes briefly, then went back to sleep. “Stop speaking in riddles!”

Even though Edit-Station 1 didn’t have a head, he slowly rotated his whole computer body back and forth as though he was shaking his head in disappointment. “I was afraid of this. Your species is notoriously stubborn and not that smart. You may be surprised to learn that human beings are quite literally the stupidest semi-advanced civilization in all of reality.”

Mark chuckled. “Actually, that’s not surprising at all. But if I’m so dumb, why do you want me?”

“Finally, a good question!” Edit-Station 1 smiled again. “We need you because your ignorance acts as a shield against the thought lasers, and you have a unique skill set that could prove useful. But it’s pretty clear you aren’t going to believe me until you see this with your own eyes, so I’m sending you back.”

“Wait! What do I do if I need to contact you again?”

“Oh, now you believe me. You want to know what thought lasers are, don’t you?”

“Actually, yes.”

“Well, too bad!” The computer quipped in his obnoxious monotone voice. “I’m sending you back to die with the rest of your idiot brethren!”

“Wait, you’re what?”

“Hahahaha!”

Mark looked too terrified to speak.

“No, I’m just kidding. Call me back when your sun dies.”

Mark woke up on the floor of his office beside his desk and a snoring dog wearing a diaper. His head throbbed, and his mouth was dry, but he was alive and remembered the weird-ass dream vividly. He removed the broken break key from the keyboard of the real Edit-Station 1 and placed it back into his desk drawer, just in case.

CHAPTER 2

The next couple of weeks were without incident for the most part. Mark busied himself with work, reading, and evening binge sessions of the Muppet Show with family. Every day brought a new longing to return to a simpler time before the Internet and social media, to a time when puppets sang songs that weren’t ironic and turtlenecks were in fashion.

The weeks turned into months, and his memory of the bizarre dream with Edit-Station 1 began to fade as Stella, the faithful but rambunctious and poorly behaved pooch, rapidly deteriorated. The once mighty and muscular red mutt that strangers often confused for a dingo sadly passed away after a long, 16-year run.

The house was quieter and a bit lonely. Mark missed his companion and smelly foot warmer. He often thought about Edit-Station 1’s comment regarding multiple yous in multiple universes. Was Stella chewing someone else’s shoes and disemboweling raccoons in a different world? He hoped she was happy. Nothing made her happier than destroying and eating at the same time.

Soon, things like dogs, pandemics, toilet paper shortages, and the downfall of the turtleneck would be the least of anyone’s concern. The world was about to change.

It was a Wednesday afternoon when the sun flickered and then went out.

Print Book information and cover art and branding coming soon.

Farewell and Thanks for the Laser Bathysphere - Part 3 rough copy (copyright 2021 Inecom, LLC. by Mark Bussler not for distribution.)