Unforgivable - (SFW) (Patreon)

BIG DRAGON BIG BLOODY EYE SOCKET BIG STAB

So I have beent rying to be more responsible and save more, and my friend suggested to reward myself I should paint something just for me. I had probably like 20 different thumbnails to choose from, but I felt pretty sure this one was going to come out like cool if I did it. It's weird having that feeling because sometimes it's totally misplaced, but when it's right, it can be really reassuring because you know that a cool painting will look cool even as a tiny thumbnail. Anyways, I'm uh, very happy I decided to take time to make this. I really wanted to have a true banger tweet sometime, and I honestly felt incapable of making something that a bunch of people would enjoy looking at on that level. I feel like admitting you want a successful tweet is kind of awkward, but it's true, and gave me a fun goal to shoot for. I feel like this accomplished that, and I'm bot simultaneously elated that it did, and horrified because I know I gotta make something just as cool next time I have the opportunity to do work for myself. But if that anxiety wasn't there this wouldn't be as fun as it is haha.

A little bit on the actual piece, it was inspired by just the feeling of being angry at someone else. I almost called it "resent", because everyone in this piece resents the other person. The foreground dude hates the guy atop the dragon and feels outclassed by him, he hates the dragon because he's an obstacle and a threat, the dude on top sees the other characters as beneath him, unworthy of his time, and then the dragon resents the dude atop for being a dick and controlling him, and obviously the dude in front for takin' out his eyeball. I've been reading a shitton of Berserk recently, and it was totally inspired by some of the main motifs from that manga. It feels weird to make something that taps into negative emotions like that, but it made it really easy to know where to take the piece in the beginning stages.

Anyways, I'm just happy I finally made something for myself that everyone also seems to like. I always feel like I make my best work in March or April for whatever bizarre reason, and every year I wonder if I'm gonna totally beef it and not actually make anything cool, but if anything this painting has only reinforced that thinking haha. I wonder if it's just that it's becoming Spring, or that it's less dry. Who knows.

Anyways sorry for being long winded, it's just basically never that I feel like happy to have made a certain piece and that it also goes over really well. I've been floored by the response to it, and I hope I can only keep making better and better work form here on out. Thank you as always to everyone on here for supporting me on my journey, I hope to make new cool shit to share soon!