Growing to Fill the Street (Patreon)

Recently I had to be somewhere, so I ordered an Uber XL. I don't know what was "XL" about this one, but a regular-sized four-door coupe showed up. I didn't bother trying the passenger-side door, because that would have been futile, and went straight for the back seat.

I couldn't get my top half and bottom half through the door at the same time. Eventually I lay down on my back in the back seat and butt-walked my way back into the car, finally getting enough of my legs in that I was able to turn and sit partially up. But the ceiling was too low for my height and belly and I was hunched over, my feet wedged in the tiny space between the front seat and the back, with one of the back seat belt fasteners poking into the middle of my tailbone. This is all while the driver is staring at me, helplessly, hoping I wasn't going to damage his car.

I was worried about being able to get back out again, so I decided to trial-run it. I lay on my back and wiggled my way back out the door - once my legs were out I managed to sit up, but my legs were twisted under the door and I knew if I kept going I'd be on the ground and that would be very, very difficult to get up from. No one can help me up, either, because you'd have to be able to lift 715 pounds - it's a multiple-person job.

Luckily I managed to summon all my willpower and strength and HUNGNNNHHED myself up from the seated position, got my legs untwisted and stood the rest of the way up. At that point I realized there was no way I was going to make my appointment - over ten minutes had passed already - so I sent the Uber driver on his merry way (he didn't charge me, luckily, because I would have said something about him trying to pass off his car as an Uber XL!)

Anyway, this is why I only go places in SUVs.

In this video, I rub my huge belly while I describe what I ate today and what I'm planning on eating later that evening. It's a lot of food! Then, I start fantasizing about what might happen if I had a black hole stomach, where I would be able to eat anything I wanted and never got full, the food just kept growing me, adding to my mass. Thanks to many, many pizza deliveries and other food orders, I eventually spill out the front door and down the street. My size attracts a crowd of very aroused worshipers and — well, you'll have to hear the rest on the video!

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