Broly movie review!! Fanboy rant+SPOILERS!! (Patreon)

Is it possible... to completely love and hate something at the same time? I watched the Broly, I think I liked it... I'd give it 4/5 stars: 4 parts phenomenal, and 1 part total misfire. Here are my thoughts, brace for SPOILERS:

The movie is by far the most visually stunning Dragonball production ever made. The colors, the fight scenes, the explosions.... they're amazingly well done. When it comes to Broly's re-design: he's fuckin hot as hell. The movie even gives him a shower scene 0_0 followed by him walking around in skintight, black spandex. I was drooling all over the screen.

Be prepared, though, as the movie is not a remake of the originals. Instead, it's a complete reboot of Broly as a character (history/personality/the whole thing). Where Broly was once this awesome, malevolent, brawling badass (the kind of man who makes me weak in the knees)... he is now shown as an absolute, innocent sweetie-pie. He literally keeps a fluffy pelt on him at all times, and gets sweetly hand-fed chocolate bars during his introduction. The story behind his pelt is so endearing, you even manage to feel sorry for the guy. I may have a thing for bad boys, but holy shit, I would just as quickly smother this lovable new Broly with hugs if I had the opportunity.

Going forward to the fight scenes in the movie. I really liked how they balanced things out this time around. There is so much tension in watching Broly get defeated by Vegeta and Goku in their different forms, and then seeing Broly push himself to overcome these more experienced fighters. This boost-to-the-next-form-for-the-win formula plays out really nicely, until Goku and Vegeta finally decide it's time to fuse, and Gogeta enters the picture. He gives Broly a decidedly harder time. They have their crazy back and forth, Broly starts catching up to overtake Gogeta, pushing Gogeta to finally go blue for his last big level up.

Now, here is where movie starts to get shaky. Gogeta gets the better of Broly, knocking him around, then we get to the point that we've all been waiting for... 

Broly's signature green Legendary form makes its return to the screen! Setting the stage for an awesome fight between maxed out Broly and Gogeta blue! Broly blasts into an offensive in all his glorious muscle, and what happens...........

.....Nothing. 

Literally nothing. 

No sexy fusion bashing. Broly doesn't even land a scratch Gogeta. None of Broly's energy beams hit and none of his physical attacks connect. Out of no where, the movie drops the power-up-and-overcome pattern, and instead we see the most epic version of Broly completely flop in battle. 

I thought this is where we'd see Broly's awesome tankiness return: blocking punches with his face, taking pointblank energy blasts, being a general badass...

 ...but it never happens. Gogeta blue continues to hold the upperhand over Broly without needing another boost. He very easily stops Broly's offensive, then goes into an insane string of powered up moves that soundly prevent Broly from any kind of showing in his fabled form.

This is... kind of really frustrating. I love Supes, Thor, Drake and Broly as guys who prove themselves as tanks, THEN get destroyed. That's the whole kink. Breaking something unbreakable! Seeing Broly's huge form lose his tank status just to pump up Gogeta even further sucks.

I was hoping Broly would give Gogeta a genuine run for his money, then we'd see Gogeta pull out some utterly massive, heavy Broly stomp. either cleanly KOing him  or even erasing him entirely in an energy beam. Instead, this turns into yet another fusion wank story... *sigh.

Here's a fanmade movie, it's not as pretty, but still worth watching. I think it shows what fans were expecting more of: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4B8Ql_a_cM&t=

All that badness aside: Broly still makes my heart throb. Even if he gets one-upped, he still carries himself like a boss. He retains his awesome fighting style and remains hot as all fuck. I think he's even hotter now than he was before, and I'm happy we get to see these beating scenes, even if it comes at the cost of watering down his maxed out form. This movie is not a tragedy -- the man's ass now wears spandex pants. The gays win the day.

Maybe... if he's gonna job in his own movie.... then Broly should just continue further down this path? In place of a huge, cruel brute, we now have a giant, sissy musclejobber?

...........I think I can work with this.   :)