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🌳 June YouTube Recommendations (Patreon)

Published:
2021-07-01 13:00:08
Edited:
2023-06-12 19:51:17
Imported:
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Content

One of my favorite YouTube/Patreon heros shares his nerdiness with his audience once a month and I am feeling inspired to share something with my darlings this morning.

This video is simply too good not to. 

In it, Jonathan of "PopCultureDetective" addresses something my content fights...the social stigma against men expressing vulnerability. 

Part of why I do what I do...by entertaining...is inviting your minds to the realm of what is possible. 

To offer leverage as you break the gravity of recreating what you already have on a rinse a repeat. 

How beautiful will it be? When you have created a life where you have connections you can be vulnerable with...a life where you can heal...where you can cry?

This simple invitation is my small attempt to make the world a better place. 


I would love to hear your thoughts on this...as men... *all the hugs*

Files

Boys Don't Cry (Except When They Do)

Since we all know that boys (and men) do in fact cry, this video focuses on the relatively narrow set of social circumstances when tears are permissible. PATREON Support this media project on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/popdetective PAYPAL Make a one-time donation via PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/popdetective WISHLIST Send research materials for video essays: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/VPZW4GU512ON?ref_=wl_share RECOMMENDED READING • The Will to Change by bell hooks https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Will-to-Change/bell-hooks/9780743456081 • The Gender Knot by Allan G Johnson http://tupress.temple.edu/book/1306 • Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett https://www.marcbrackett.com/about/book-permission-to-feel/ SUBTITLES • You can help make with subtitles for this video on Amara: https://amara.org/en/videos/zVMyDeObL3vC/info/boys-dont-cry-except-when-they-do/?team= TEXT TRANSCRIPT Coming soon PODCAST LINKS Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pop-culture-detective-audio-files/id1585512628 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2C6SdbT75mdRp2jRyvuLfa Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9wb3BjdWx0dXJlZGV0ZWN0aXZlLmFnZW5jeS9mZWVkL3BvZGNhc3Q COMMENTS All YouTube comments are held for approval. If you'd like to participate in constructive online conversations about this video, please share it on your social media networks. FAIR USE All multimedia clips included in this video constitute a 'fair use' of any copyrighted material as provided for in Section 107 of U.S. Copyright law, which allows for criticism, comment and scholarship. Learn more about fair use with this awesome app by New Media Rights! http://newmediarights.org/fairuse CREDITS Writer/Editing: Jonathan McIntosh Outro music: Rick Lopez

Comments

AudioFreak

It was a very interesting, and very long video. LOL But it is totally true. However, I wouldn't blame the movie industry. I think these ideals of masculinity and femininity have been around longer than movies. I think it is more culturally based. Some cultures do accept more openly emotional men, and some cultures are even more closed off than here in the USA. But, I agree that we should allow men to be more openly emotional and not feel like we always have to suck it up. I'm not sure how that change would occur, though. Maybe it is through videos like these to spread the word, though.

Jared Chinchello

Watching the video made me look back over the last 4-5 years to try and remember mow much and where I cried. From what I can remember I had only truly cried about 5 to 7 times and about 3 or 4 of those times ended with me just getting pissed at myself for showing weakness and I was by myself. When my aunt had passed away, instead of being with my mom, dad and sister, I went up to my dad's shop and wept, screamed and shouted at my inability to do anything, even though she was two states away and there was nothing that I could do. I do believe that the idea that boys and men should not cry stems from the societal belief that fixing of the Worlds problems should fall squarely on the shoulders of men. Which is why if you wish to vent to a man and him not jump up right away and try and fix it, you need to specify that you are just venting. I may be way off base with my theory and if I am I do apologize. The most recent time that I had wept was when my cat was on his way out. I was online with a buddy, I excused myself, went downstairs to love on him a bit and I just broke down. I didn't want my buddy to know I had been crying my eyes out so I went into the kitchen and took a shot of Everclear. I hate that I did that but I didn't wanna be all weepy in front of my buddy. I apologize if this is off topic but it seemed somewhat appropriate.

xenboy

Wow, it's a pretty damning view of the stories we tell ourselves, and just how deeply rooted these ideas are. Even with my new found therapeutically-increased tear output I still "take [my] ass to the men's room and cry in private, like a man!" (to quote a clip from the video). The only real difference now is that I actively search out these "appropriate" places to have a good cry rather than "sucking it up". But, baby-steps I guess. Probably better to process a little of my own trauma before addressing the small task of reframing masculinity in the eyes of society.

wendyslostboys
>>62933374

I enjoyed your thoughts. Agree...I don't think the movie industry is to blame. That is too simple a conclusion for a complex issue. I think do art is part of a loop...it reveals who we are and then influences who we are becoming. That said...I do believe film (entertainment in general) can be part of the solution. I wouldn't do what I do here if I didn't believe that.

wendyslostboys
>>62955106

*hugs* On topic IMO. I invite you to observe...without judgment...the man that you were. The man that felt the need to protect and take that shot. Then ask if that is who you want to be moving forward. You can't be real...be vulnerable with everyone. But you can find those people worthy of seeing your tears. Those trust worthy enough not to judge.

AudioFreak
>>62933374

I agree. I think what you do is more important because there is a personal connection. I love that you take time to comment here on Patreon. I know you want and deserve a bigger audience, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't enjoy the small group we have here.

wendyslostboys
>>62933374

I have very mixed emotions about the channel growing. Numbers are a way to measure if what I’m doing is working. If this work is worth investing my life into. That said…if it grew fast…I might panic. The parasocial gap widens as the community grows and I haven’t learned how to navigate in that space without cognitive discord…yet.

Jared Chinchello
>>62955106

I was and still am a man that feels the need to protect those who're important in my life and those who can't protect themselves. It's why I went into private security along with some other personal beliefs in my own brand of crazy. I do still wish to protect others going forward. I also want to be more open with those close to me. I guess one of the reasons why Im not as open also stems from my belief that I may not find a girlfriend willing to deal with me being open. Being alone scares me to no end so I feel like it's a bit of a self-fulfilling cycle. I don't know, I ain't no head doctor with a fancy couch and a 40 minute hour.

LrseFauc

I think I really have no issue with not crying. Deaths can make me cry, of course... But what really works well for me, is if I'm seeing unfairness. I cry one's eyes out right now. Alwaysslightlysleepy canceled her Reddit account, put all things she has done off from Soundgasm and deleted all her videos on YouTube after being doxxed. She never filmed her face but once. I guess it was a mistake of her and that was point of attack. She's back after more than two years - and she shows her face: https://www.youtube.com/c/alwaysslightlysleepy I'm so glad about this.