My absence (Patreon)

Well...hi. Hopefully the three chapters have cooled you lot a little—probably not, but it was just my way of saying...I'm sorry. There's another couple chaps on their way, including MS Ch.27. Should be posted in a few hours, if not, definitely by tomorrow.

So a lot of patrons have left, and rightfully so. The few who still remain...you lot have far more faith in me than I do myself. Cause honestly, I don't know what the fuck is going on in my life. Just a few months since moving, my new housing situation went down the drain and I'm no longer living alone. After the first couple of months of not posting—again—I realized that I'm falling back to my old writer's block self and quickly paused the billing. So at least there's that...none of you should be charged after the month of May, and if you were please let me know (unless you were able to somehow subscribe after May).

I don't want to take half the post making half-baked excuses again, cause honestly there should be none. Doesn't matter what's been happening in my life, I should've done my job and written some shit. I realized this and got back to writing a couple months back, planning to mass post half a dozen chapters to make up for the lost time...

Then life hit me from behind and birthed a new excuse to delay my writing. Now I'm suffering from permanent Tinnitus; a constant ringing in the ears that simply never leave you. If you're lucky, you'd learn to ignore it eventually, but for a writer who needs silence to do his job, it is literal hell. Even now, I can hear it digging nails down my brain, a high-pitched shrill whistle that's become my newest enemy. I wish I could just ignore it like another excuse and simply do my job but god is it hard.

Already went to a doctor, of course, and the news just got worse for me. Apparently there's a chance I might have brain tumor, and while the Doc assured me it's a slight one—and even if it is, it would be a benign one—I couldn't help but mope around the house like a little bitch cause I'm absolutely sure that's exactly what I have. I've always had temporary Tinnitus, like since I was 11 or so, and my brain would freeze up for a few seconds every time it happened. My ears have been test and I have no problems with my ear drums or wax (in fact, the pretty lady who tested me described my ears as 'Ideal' standard) so the problem is definitely not there. The Doc thinks it's just stress and anxiety, or something as mundane as a bad diet even, which would fit in with my recent life, but I've just got this sinking feeling it's bigger than that. Either way, I'm gonna get the results soon, so fingers crossed (haven't even informed my parents anything).

Thankfully, as the days have gone by, I've learned to at least ignore the ringing as best as I could, so writing hasn't been completely impossible for me. Though even thinking about it slightly makes it creep up in my ears like an unwanted guest who refuses to leave, like right now.

I've decided not to obsess about the quality of my writing too much anymore, and just write as best as I can...hopefully it should be enough. But if you do notice any drop, please let me know. I want to complete my original three fics soon as I can—without compromising on quality too much—just in case I ain't sticking around long.

Let me know what you think of the newest story—it'll be a background work as I get back into my original three—and if you want me to change the title. Also, I'll make some posts soon to decide which way to go with that story.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the newest chapters, MS should be posted soon as well. Also, I'm sorry for not replying to any messages, but when I'm in the writer's block phase, talking to anyone is like ripping off a Band-Aid from a fresh wound, especially when I don't have a definite answer. Hopefully this is the last time I go radio silent on you—unless I do snuff it—will be posting more soon.

Until then stay safe and have a nice day!