UGLY DEATH b-side "CULT SHIT" (Patreon)

here's a b-side from  UGLY DEATH NO REDEMPTION ANGEL CURSE I LOVE YOU that i made pretty early on in the album's development. i went back and forth on it a bunch but  ultimately i just don't think it really held together enough for me to put it on the album, even though it has some parts i really like still, like the hook. instrumentally it's kind of a weird mishmash of goofy shit that came from trying to do something new while i was searching for the album's sound, and also my screaming on it is a bit uneven - it's kind of an extrapolation on the screaming style from 2,020 knives, which in retrospect i really didn't have down that well. i guess at some point i learned to do it a bit higher and more energetically which is the style that ended up on the final UGLY DEATH, but by then this track didn't really fit with the album's direction so it kinda got lost. it's still a pretty cool and weird track tho. hope u like it !!

lyrics:

reflecting, encased in ice
another year another time
the momentum of history
confused immutable trajectory
the moment glows with potential for a dream
the limitations break the mechanism screams
and all u have to do, they say
is just believe
you have to look inside and let yourself receive
but that means NOTHING
cult shit, radiation
dead life, dislocation
do you know the chaos that u sow?
12yo caught in the undertow

i cannot find the pain so i cant heal it
another name for something i cant feel it
was there ever a reason for my weakness
everybody knows my secret
another truth inside another bad trip
(system breaking down obsession)
screaming at roommates and they cant stop laughing
(checking failing the correction)
i try to listen everything is static
(critical stress but nothing breaks yet)
what if nothing ever happened?
(how do i break it)

the moment lives inside the broken shell of a life
burnt materials capacitance alive
a new beginning, a new connection burns
a chance to breathe, a chance to learn
but no record of the failure
no dreams no hope no nightmares
a new world so terrible and loving
one more chance, one more becoming

i cannot find the pain so i cant heal it
another name for something i cant feel it
was there ever a reason for my weakness
you were there, how cant u see it?
falling apart again with no expression
(system breaking down obsession)
have i gained any ground or just regression
(checking failing the correction)
every new line is the just the same obsession
(critical stress but nothing breaks yet)
break myself to end the tension
(how do i break it down)

break
break