Would love your input on my work for the next month! (Patreon)

Hi guys, I’m on my lunch break and it’s been on my mind for a while but I’d like to get your feedback and input.

I need to take a break at some point, but I don’t quite know how to go about it.

Let me explain my current situation and why I need a break, and my fears on the matter.

I’ve been dealing with gout for a few years but within the past 3 months it’s now escalated and has been developing as arthritis. This escalated due to the stress from what happened with losing our baby.

It has also been attacking the joints of my jaw, and my jaw pops out of place if I open my mouth. It’s not painful most of the time, I just usually pop it back into place (you may have noticed in videos recently I just press at my cheek/jaw). It’s only painful when my gout flares up and attacks my jaw joint.

I recently got health insurance but I have to pay for it in March when my paycheck rolls in, to use it. On top of that, my insurance coverage is in California so I do have to relocate to LA.

I didn’t realize until Blaire took her leave, how much her existence and presence alone, gave me the strength to keep going. But I feel myself hitting a wall.

As it currently stands, I still have Week 3 of Anime/Drama Club left, the gg LPs, the gg variety, and Golden Disk and the Asia Artist Awards, and the Jungkook Golden Concert.

On a personal level, I would like to finish filming these. It would make me mentally feel better, to finish it out and just take March off. This is both because UH HELLO DC’s OOTD and LE SSERAFIM’S EASY???? I need to know what these albums sound like?! And because I reallyyyy wanna check out the Golden Disk Awards.

But with my jaw situation, it does make reacting a bit more difficult, and I certainly don’t want to “hold back”.

This applies to everyone, not just people looking forward to the GG variety/LPs but the Jungkook content, anime/drama club, the award shows as well.

My heart wants to film, but my mind wants to finish these things

• The Backlog
• My god damn taxes (I really hate this thing)
• Paint my LA office and set up my LA set.

These are my big things that are “in my way”. This month we finished literally organizing and cataloging EVERY single video we have into our Notion, and it’s just a matter of uploading, but you would think it’s as simple as “drag all and drop” right? Nooooo.

Our video storage only allows us to upload around 5 videos at a time, and even then, they fail sometimes, and it takes a while to upload at that. So in order to get this done, I have to just be uploading these, and then WATCHING and making sure they upload, and as soon as one batch is done, set another batch. This process alone might take a week or two but it requires my undivided attention, that’s why the backlog has been so hard to fix.

As much as I would like to finish filming these over the next week, part of me believes I need to get this done, because once the backlog is done and fixed—IT’S DONE.

But I don’t want to take a break and get lazy or complacent. You guys support me and I’d like to continue this habit and devotion to checking in on a daily basis. If I don’t, I get too “caught up” in things and sometimes overkill my work and don’t give myself proper rest, which promotes a vicious cycle of unwellness.

I am hoping that with the change of our Patreon’s charging structure (it charges on the day you joined now not the 1st of the month anymore) that it would be okay to live a little more on a “weekly” basis.

What I’m proposing is perhaps relocating to my LA office tomorrow, and from the 25th to around the 2nd of March, I’ll be RESTING and doing backlog, just ALL day. I’m gonna sit there, watch these uploads, and do some mindless hobbies like drawing, gaming, reading, writing, and watching shows and content just for ME. I can’t guarantee ALL content will be done within that week but I don’t see why not if it has my undivided attention. What I’m saying is: I need to not TALK for like a week.

After that, see how my condition is and start filming again, while also going to the doctor and dentist to get my body and jaw checked out. After that week I’m going to paint my office in between filming.

I just want these reactions to be the best. But at the same time, I also want to respect your guys’ position & opinions and how you feel. But I think my videos would be a lot better with my mind clear from the backlog being finished, some rest, and getting checked out.

This is just a “thought process” so let me know what you guys think. I am just trying to not carelessly make decisions and take your thoughts into consideration as well!

-Jaehyuk PD