Traditional art and wips (Patreon)

So in March I lost my cat Tatiana very suddenly, we're still not sure what killed her but it could have been a benign tumor in her brain we were unaware of as she had no neurological signs.
She was fine on Monday, got all her prescriptions/food etc and a general check up at the vet, Wednesday she seemed like she was very wobbly asked the vet to see her, Thursday morning she had 3 seizures and she was in the emergency animal hospital. I petted her in the oxygen tank and she tried to get up, I told her I seen her during the visiting hours later at 8pm.
My husband and I were getting ready to visit her and I got a call she stopped breathing and if they should stop trying to resuscitate her, the percentage of coming back were less than 10%. I stayed with her body for several hours and arranged for cremation.

I tend to work on very tight schedules, for a week and half I couldn't work, if I could it was for maybe an hour and then I'd just stare into space. I didn't even want to get up in the morning.
This didn't feel real, it felt like a mistake, I've lost pets/family members before but never so suddenly and what feels so random.

I'm trying to process my anger at myself, I keep thinking if I didn't get sick she'd have better care in Germany, if we could have moved sooner maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It doesn't change the fact I just wanted her to be at our new place in Germany and she'll never see it.

So I'm a little behind, I'm going to work a few weekends to make up for it.
I apologize that March sketch is late, I have it started and my posting is all over the map.

This is some art I've made or planning on making.
1. First piece was a Himalayan cat as I just really wanted to paint one after loosing my Tatya.
it's done in gouache on 5X7 aquabord.
I posted photos on social media, this is a higher res cleaned up scan.

2. This is Posca markers on 5X7 canvas panel. I won these markers last year, entering a contest because I said 'hah I never win anything' Everyone loves these things on social media, I'll be honest I actually find them to have less control than a brush but I use brushes constantly so...
This is the scan, I posted photos on social media as I took a digital class on photographing artwork with your phone. (yay skillshare free trail is a good distraction when depressed)

3. So all my surfaces are in a shipping pallet warehouse waiting to be shipped to Germany. I had to order some paper and surfaces as I need to make some new traditional art, if no art shows happen I'll sell them online or hold onto them for next year.
I wanted to paint a wild dog on this new watercolour paper from Stonehenge, it's a hot press that is dangerously smooth and is suppose to have whiteners in it so I'm hoping for dramatic contrast with the blacks and orange.

4. Quick digital mock up of the Himmy I didn't post anywhere.   

I'll get back on track and get my scheduled worked out. I appreciate all of your support.