Lets talk :'3 (Patreon)

Hello everyone, I hope you're having a lovely December. Holiday spirit and what have you :3.

So this month, I guess two months didn't really go according to plan, by now a video was supposed to be up, but as dumb as this will sound I just haven't had the heart to work on it, or record the audio.

Finding out I had parkinsons, I mean I'm still in denial but it's kinda killed my motivation, short term. Which maybe is expected when all I can think about is how it'll develop into dementia, which on one hand, I'll fit in with mom and grandma, but I'm terrified.

Recently one of our cats gave birth, and that made me happy because kitties, but two passed away, which is beyond heartbreaking.

Also my elgato won't record footage anymore for some reason, or hook up to the playstation properly, really don't know what's wrong with it, it's old. I can seemingly stream okay, for now, but recording footage is off the table until at least sometime next month where I can look into a new capture device, which probably won't be another elgato cause those are like 200 dollars, no clue when that price shot up, but fuck it, probably gonna go with avermedia instead.


Anyway, I had a little breakdown after a stream recently, and just feel really, weird, for lack of better terminology. My heart isn't in this right now, and that's causing delays, and I'm so sorry, because you all deserve better than this.

My plan is to get at least one video, the new Gaming Mysteries up before the month is over, I already had the footage for that recorded, so I just need to wait until my mood swings in a more positive way to record the audio.

Over the next few months I'll be seeing doctors more than I'd like to as well as going on new medications that I'm not sure how will interact with what I'm currently on, or how it'll effect my state of mind.




All This rambling is to more or less say, I'm sorry, and I hope you'll be patient with me over the coming months, my schedule is going to be kinda broken, but I'm still going to try because I'm neurotic and don't listen when my doctor tells me to relax, relaxing is so fucking hard.

This is ramble nonsense, sorry. Lotta thoughts atm, uncertainty, and I'm scared. Still, I hope you'll be patient with me during this period. If you have any questions, hit me up, no one ever takes me up on that offer but it's there :3. Or maybe you talk to me on stream and that counts, not sure. But yeah.

I love you all, thank you for everything. The love and kindness you've all shown me over the years means more than you'll ever know.

Stay safe *hug* <3