Regret, Part 1 (Patreon)

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Summary: A young man in college with a male pregnancy fetish pumps himself full of fertility medicine. He then purposefully gets pregnant by his boyfriend. As his belly grows, so does his discomfort, regret, and horror in realization that pregnancy is not all that he thought it would be. Conversely, his boyfriend's interest and fascination in male pregnancy grow, and he begins to first secretly, then blatantly attempt to do whatever he can do to make the lad's pregnant belly as big as possible. Idea submitted by NLH

-

Elliott was not like most other nineteen-year-olds. Whereas your typical college sophomore was looking to drink, party, and get laid, Elliott was eager to settle down. Desperate, really.

“And look at this one, Andrew. Isn’t he adorable?” said Elliott, holding up his phone so his boyfriend could see the screen.

Climbing onto the bed beside Elliott, Andrew tried not to roll his eyes. Elliott’s smart phone displayed another image of, not a baby, but a young, pregnant model—a male one—who was dressed attractively in a casual suit, the blazer curved over a rounded belly.

“Not as adorable as you,” Andrew said as he playfully nipped Elliott’s throat.

Elliott grinned and cringed, as he was ticklish there. He shoved Andrew away. “God, I’m obsessed,” he breathed, his eyes still glued to the screen.

“That you are,” said Andrew with a sigh as he slumped back against his pillows.

Elliott finally looked up to meet Andrew’s eyes. “Come on Andrew, tell me you not excited.”

Andrew offered a lazy smile. “I’m excited,” he conceded, even though he didn’t know if that was exactly true.

Elliott was absolutely obsessed with starting a family. More specifically, he was obsessed with the process. Getting pregnant. Carrying the thing. Andrew personally didn’t get it, but that was the thing about fetishes. They tended not to make sense. And that was okay. Kind of.

“I hear when you’re pregnant, all your senses are super-intensified. It’s like a superpower. Your hearing, your sense of smell—all of it gets stronger. And your sense of touch—well, you get really, really sensitive. Plus, I hear your libido goes insane and the sex is amazing.”

As adorable as Elliott was, Andrew found his smile becoming a strained one. Elliott was always so enthusiastic. He had the tendency to romanticize everything. Andrew wondered if Elliott had any idea of how much responsibility they were really taking on. Kids? Were they even ready for that kind of a commitment?

“Andrew, what’s that look?” said Elliott, frowning now. “Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts? You said you were thrilled!”

“I am, I am,” Andrew insisted. “I love kids. And I love you. I’m in, 100%.”

Elliott’s face brightened. He was so attractive, so youthful. Andrew’s gaze wandered down to Elliott narrow fingers.

He was a slim guy. Skinny, really. And not that tall. He was desperate to experience pregnancy, but Andrew hardly knew where a baby would fit on him.

“It’s just…” Andrew tried to choose his words carefully. “At the end of the day, is this really even about…having kids?” he said slowly.

“Of course. It’ll be great. I can’t wait until I’m a blushing preggo with a cute little belly. What kind of crazy cravings do you think I’ll have? God, everyone’s going to look at me. They’re all gonna see, and knowwhat we got up to. Male pregnancy is still super-rare you know, Andy. I’ll be, like, a spectacle,” Elliott giggled, his gaze already straying back down to the models on his phone.

Andrew withheld a sigh. He couldn’t imagine his life without Elliott. After four years of dating and one of living together, Andrew couldn’t have been more content. Busy though they both were, life felt safe, and stable, and just good right then. Introducing a baby to the mix would be like throwing in a stick of dynamite. “If it makes you happy, it makes me happy.” He leaned down to plant a kiss on Elliott’s forehead.

“I’m getting the pills tomorrow,” Elliott said, now scrolling to a new image.

“Should you really be taking your cousins leftover prescription?”

“We’re basically the same size and weight. Albeit, different genders. But it’s a specialty drug formulated for women and men. It’s so new to the market, it’s impossible to get without seeing like twelve doctors and paying ten grand at minimum for a bottle.”

But of course, Veronica had that kind of money. Andrew actually rolled his eyes this time. “What the hell’s the success rate?”

“Like, super high. I’m telling you Andy, this stuff works. I mean, look at Veronica.”

“Just don’t count your eggs before they’ve hatched,” Andrew warned with that old saying, before pausing. “No pun intended.”

“Eggs,” Elliott snorted.

Andrew turned off the lamp on the nightstand. “Will you put that thing away?” Elliott was now looking at video clips of pregnant men flaunting their conditions.

“Yeah, yeah.” Elliott duly turned off his phone screen and shoved it under his pillow. He would probably just wait for Andrew to fall asleep so he could dig it back out. Then Elliott leaned over, sprawling himself across Andrew’s chest. “Tomorrow,” he whispered. “You’re gonna put a baby in me.”

“Heh.” Andrew’s lips curved. He couldn’t deny, the prospect sounded devious. “You’re just buzzing tonight.”

“Maybe you should wear me out.”

Andrew pulled him closer. “That I should.”

-

Elliott could hardly focus on work the next day. He was midway through his shift at Clink, a coffee shop just off campus. Every time the door jingled to signal the entry of a new customer, his eyes shot towards it. And every time, he felt himself sagging, his hope withering. Finally, around midday, the door rang and when he looked, he met eyes with the woman he was waiting for. Heart lifting, Elliott immediately pulled off his apron and threw it over the sizzling espresso machine. “I’m gonna take five minutes.”

His coworker, Sidney, was appalled. “Are you nuts? Look at this line!” Sidney motioned to the throng of customers craning to make beverage orders.

“Be back soon,” Elliott intoned as he hurried out from behind the bar to grab his cousin’s hands. “Glad you made it.”

Veronica gave him a tired smile. “Anywhere we can talk in private?”

Elliott ushered her to the back, where there was a small break room he and his colleagues hardly ever used. He was brimming with excitement as Veronica rummaged in her purse. His eyes wandered over the prominent swell in the summer dress she had on beneath her jeans jacket.

“Here you go, kiddo.” It was a ridiculous sentiment. Veronica was only two years his senior. She handed him a small prescription pill bottle. It seemed mostly full. “Just be careful Elliott, this stuff is really powerful.”

“Got it,” said Elliott, studying the bottle with shaking hands. He almost couldn’t believe he finally had it.

“I’m serious.” Veronica lightly swatted him, stealing back his attention. “I only took half a dose and look at me now.” She motioned to her swollen belly, which was admittedly huge. She could have been due, though Elliott knew she had at least another month or two. “Twins,” Veronica huffed.

“That’s great,” said Elliott. “You should consider yourself lucky. You got double what you wanted.”

Veronica looked ready to strangle him.

“Plus it’s obviously much harder for men to conceive.”

“Still,” said Veronica. “Take it slow. This stuff is really new to the market. The healthcare industry still doesn’t know all the effects. And from what I hear, it’s quite effective. Well, I’m a testament of that. For a while the doctors thought I was infertile.”

“Sure, okay,” said Elliott, trying to look serious and not as though he was about to burst out of his skin from happiness. If this stuff could revitalize his cousin’s shriveled up reproductive system, maybe there was hope for him.

Veronica leaned over to kiss his cheek, her round curve pressing into him. Oh. Kicking.

She gave a weak smile. “Yeah, they’ve been crazy active these last few weeks. Take care, Elliott. And don’t think I’m not gonna check up on you.”

He doubted she had the time. She looked ready to pop.

He watched Veronica leave with that cute pregnancy waddle she’d developed. Oh, he couldn’t wait. Finally. Tonight was the night.

-

Elliott left work early. He just couldn’t wait any longer.

The directions on the pill bottle had said to take just one pill, then wait a month to see if conception occurred before taking another dose. But Elliott didn’t have much patience for that. He wanted this to work, and to work fast. So he gulped down five pills on his bus ride home from the coffee shop.

By the time he got into his apartment, he felt flustered and a little breathless. His skin was warm, even prickling in places. When he went to his bathroom mirror, he could see that he was red and sweaty, and his heart was positively racing. And the drug must have included some sort of aphrodisiac effect, because he was incredibly hard and just aching to be touched, but Andrew wasn’t home yet, and that reality was somehow maddening.

So Elliott paced and whimpered and palmed himself. He tried to lie down but just ended up writhing in the sheets. He sat up panting, then sort of kneading. His ass felt weirdly tender, his hole tingling. He groaned and grinded into the sheets. “Ngghh…fuck…” he moaned, trying to get some friction.

When he heard the front door open, he practically launched himself out of bed. He found Andrew in the living room, doffing his backpack, handsome face growing puzzled at the sight of Elliott’s flustered state.

Elliott jumped him.

-

Andrew was an athletic guy. Tall, with a decent amount of lean muscle. He’d liked to say he was physically fit.

Yet he could hardly get words out through his gasping breaths. “That was — we were at it like rabbits.” He glanced at the clock. “What the fuck. It’s 5 AM? How did we — Jesus – what the fuck did they put in those pills?” He tried and failed to peel himself off the living room floor.

“I don’t feel so good…” Elliott groaned, where he was curled up in a ball.

“I feel like I’m gonna die,” Andrew noted, staring at the ceiling.

Elliott moaned, fidgeted, then suddenly sprung up. He ran into the bathroom, his hands covering his mouth, then suddenly Andrew could hear him falling violently ill.

It was a bit hurtful.

-

The vomiting went on for two weeks, in arbitrary episodes throughout the days. It was weird, and had to be a stomach bug or something. It couldn’t be.… Well, that would be ridiculous. Impossible. They had literally just tried to conceive.

Nevertheless, Andrew couldn’t help questioning, “do you think…?” He gave a nervous, deranged little chuckle. He was certain he was going insane.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Elliott scoffed.

“Yeah.” Andrew laughed some more.

But then, just for kicks, they tried out one of the many pregnancy tests Elliott had stocked up on. Which wasn’t to say that this was morning sickness. They were just — checking. Even though it was too early, and the results would probably be –

“Positive,” Elliott breathed.

“’the fuck,” was all Andrew could say for a while. The two of them sat there in silence, staring at the stick.

Andrew came out of his reverie. He turned to Elliott, pulling him into a tight embrace. “You are a mad man, you know that?” he puffed out through the thrill, anxiety, and terror. “I can’t believe this actually worked.”

“Yeah,” said Elliott weakly as he continued to stare down at the little plus sign cradled between his palms. They had actually done it. “God, Andrew. You put a baby in me.” He kissed Andrew fervently.

-

Pregnancy life wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

Elliott had thought that he would have to wait months for symptoms to actually start kicking in after conception, not minutes.

And even those, he’d sort of glamorized. Morning sickness had seemed cute somehow—a telltale indicator of his condition. An opportunity for Andrew to comfort him. A scene—at work or school—where he could run out of a room looking sick, and everyone could fret about him. Elliott had anticipated occasional nausea in the mornings. He hadn’t thought it would be that bad.

He’d been wrong.

“God, it’s been three fucking weeks,” Elliott groaned after climbing up from his third encounter with the toilet just that afternoon. He felt so ill, he had taken the day off courses. And he knew he was going to pay for it. He had a midterm on Friday. “Morning sickness isn’t even supposed to start this early.”

“It’ll pass,” said Andrew, who was studying for his own midterms. He was seated at the kitchen table buried in a science textbook.

“Shouldn’t you be coddling me?” Elliott griped.

“Can you give me twenty? I have to get this equation down.”

“Fuck you,” Elliott huffed, folding his arms over his abdomen. “Sorry. Fuck, I feel awful.”

Andrew finally looked up from his textbook, frowning as he got up. “I’m sorry, El.”

Elliott groaned against his shoulder.

“We’ll get through this. I promise. Just a little bump in the road. We just have to remember how happy we are about this. How long we waited for this. It’s all you’ve ever wanted.” He ran his fingers through Elliott’s blonde hair.

“Yeah,” Elliott mumbled.

Andrew sighed and pulled him closer, causing Elliott to cringe a little.

“What?” said Andrew.

“It’s just — that stupid jacket you’re wearing. What is it made out of, sandpaper?You know my nipples have been crazy sensitive.” He adjusted the undershirt he had on, nipples poking against the cotton. They were definitely swollen.

“Oh, sorry.” Andrew shed the offending article. “Better?” He again wrapped Elliott in his arms.

“Umm, a bit,” said Elliott, and then there torsos were pressed flush, and Elliott wondered if Andrew thought he was a little bloated. But that would be ridiculous. It was far too soon.

-

“Okay, so what the hell is this,” said Elliott flatly, motioning to his chest, acknowledging the little hills there they had both had been pretending not to notice. Another two weeks had passed, and Elliott’s nausea had given way to irritability.

“Well, my understanding is that men can sometimes develop…well, breasts, while pregnant.” Andrew had been reading up on male pregnancy. The more he learned, the more he realized how truly unusual this all was. There were under a hundred men globally who had done it so far, and that was over the past five years. It was still so new, and there was little precedent for it. Yes, a couple of the cases had been well-publicized, but that didn’t supplement the clear need for more research and understanding. What Elliott had was a rare condition, and they would most certainly need to get in touch with some specialist. Andrew just hoped they could afford it.

Well, at least it was considered safe.

“Are you fucking serious?” said Elliott. Apparently he hadn’t put in the research. “This is — it’s gross. I’m not even three months in, and I’m growing tits!”

Elliott wanted to be like one of those slender, blushing models with their cute little bumps that he was obsessed with. Not this —this mother he was becoming. Yet it’s what he’d signed up for.

“It’s supposed to be, uh, a really good sign,” Andrew continued, even though this was super weird. Imagining Elliott boobs. And —and making milk, and whatnot. “In terms of viability. It means your body isn’t rejecting it. Well, the contrary. It’s indicative of a healthy pregnancy.”

Elliott looked like he was ready to cry.

“Plus, the health benefits of nursing— if you decide to —um, it’s supposed to be really great for the baby. It helps with development of the immune system, and…” Andrew knew that he was rambling. And he knew that he was staring, but he couldn’t help it. All he wanted to do was stare. To stop avoiding it with his eyes, and truly drink it in.

Suffice to say, he didn’t mind it. At all. Usually he had zero interest in this sort of thing — all those videos and images of young pregnant men Elliott would spam his inbox with — but this was different. This was Elliott, and it was…interesting. Elliott’s condition must have activated something weird and new inside of Andrew, because suddenly he was quite into it.

“Fuck my life!” Elliott stormed off.

“You look fine,” Andrew called after him. “Give it some time. It’s an adjustment.”

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