And just like that, we turn 5 (Patreon)

Here’s something you may have not known: I have a thing for multipliers of 5. This means that my TV volume has to be set at 10 or 15 or that my multiply layers in photoshop have to be set to 50 or 25. There’s no in between - that’s my comfort spot.

That’s why this year - despite it ending in 2 and being a cradle of rot - has thrown a lot of special moments at me. For one, we had my 35th birthday just a few days ago, which also meant the 35th birthday of Final Fantasy -  a series of games that has somehow been pivotal to fulfilling the dream that is making a living off my art today.

Did you know that when I was young all I wanted to do was work for Square Enix? I had this grand idea that I would some day move to Japan and be part of their art team. Of course this was never going to happen, because I was a low income child in Spain who had to study whatever would cost the least to their family and that was absolutely not video game art.

But of course I wasn’t about to let up on that thought, so I imitated Tetsuya Nomura, and Akihiko Yoshida and I spent years figuring out how to ‘git gud’ so that maybe some day someone might want to buy a commission off of me. And then I tried, and boy, did I fail. I failed so hard that I went and took up corporate jobs for 8 years, thinking that my art would be nothing but a hobby on the side.

And then I was on the verge of turning 30 and I had this overwhelming sense of unfulfillment, like I was about to lose something I wanted but had never had, and decided to start this Patreon - thinking that even if I only got to make a few consistent bucks off my art I might be able to say that I ‘made it’.

It’s been 5 years since that day. I am doing this full time now. It is still hard to believe.

I started this as a “bit on the side” and nowadays it is my full time job. All of you - those of you who support, who have supported, who follow, who share - you’ve all propelled me forward and although some days I’m of the mindset that can only think “why?” I am nothing but earnestly grateful to everyone who looked at my art and thought it was worth something.

Funnily, I kept telling myself that it had been 6 years since I started this and part of that was the fact that I started planning this move a year in advance of when I eventually started it, but the other part of me wanted to almost skirt the fact that I’d been doing this for half a decade. And I think part of that is that 5 years is the longest I’d lasted in any job up to this point, which brought me to contend with the idea that this was different. This time I was doing it for me, for this circle of people who’d rallied behind me for one or another reason but had somehow decided that I was worth supporting.

And so here we are, 5 years in. The base multiplier of 5. A perfect number to represent half a decade. Do you know how crazy it is? I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.

I guess, in all of this, what I’m trying to do is lay my soul bare. To those of you in my ‘old guard’ (anyone who’s been there since 2017), to anyone who signed up in the last month, to anyone who returned after a break - you are the reason I keep doing what I do.

There’s so much more I could fill this space - from diatribes about how hard art actually is, how often I throw my pencils at a wall to how gratifying it is to teach others or the feeling you get when you nail a piece and feel like you’re on top of the world - but I think I’m already there with what I intended to say.

In a nutshell: thank you. That’s it. At its very core.

Thank you for all you do for me. For what you’ve done. For what you’ll continue to do. For all the years I spent doubting myself and wondering if anyone would ever like what I do - thank you for punching that in the face for me.

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Yeah, yeaaaah…. Here’s the part about the bonus that yer all expecting. Because sentiment isn’t much without perks, I will be giving an extra 50 anniversary points on StarStickers to anyone who is pledged by November 1st to celebrate this first, big multiplier milestone.

That’s the largest bonus I have ever given since starting so [please look forward to it].

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(For those of you who don’t care about bonuses or feels, a proper update will follow in the next few days when I’ve stopped feeling my own feelings. My apologies for the unhinged moment of sentiment- one gets sappy in her old age.)