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Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom SPOILER REVIEW!!! (Patreon)

Published:
2018-06-24 04:37:39
Imported:
2021-04

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Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom SPOILER REVIEW!!!

Comments

Jason Dolan

Oaky here are my streamofconscious reactions to your thoughts. I definitely get why people don't like this movie but I really enjoyed it. I always turn my brain off for Jurassic Park movies. You're never gonna get the first one again. I enjoyed Jurassic World. These movies are both Bs for me, the first one is an A. But these sequels? Perfectly fine, just not totally amazing. I actually kind of loved Justice Smith in this movie. I think I laughed at every one of his jokes. I sort of liked how they broke this movie in two. I appreciated that structure because I always like movies that try new things. I had fun on the island and I also liked the spook house bit just because it was shot so well. The second half of this movie was sort of like ALIEN. That Jame Gumb sequence reminded me of The Silence of the Lambs. Very Hannibal Raptor. And I loved how Toby Jones gets it in the elevator. That was fun. By the way, they were selling those dinosaurs for WAY too cheap. Should have been five BILLION, not million. These are fucking dinosaurs. Haha. But overall, the filmmaking was great and I really enjoyed it and none of the dumb stuff took away from the overall experience. Definitely WAY BETTER than Jurassic Park 3. That movie is unwatchable for me. I would say this is my third favorite Jurassic movie, behind 1 and 4, followed by 2 and finally 3. As for the goat, they DID use it in Jurassic World so it's clearly protocol. For 25 years, the rule has always been that T-Rex's like goat. Maybe in Part 6 the T-Rex will eat Tom Brady? I loved a lot of the sequences in this movie, especially the gyroball escape. Greg, you could use your government argument to take down the first Jurassic Park movie. You can't think too hard about these movies. Haha. They also got the dinosaurs off the island in The Lost World so it's been done before. And also, I have to say that Ned and the lawyer in Jp1 were pretty much cartoon character bad guys. This has always been this way in JP movies, a couple of cardboard bad guys so we can enjoy watching the dinosaurs rip people to shreds. That's why I think none of this bothered me. Just because, like Fast and Furious movies, I know what I'm getting going into these movies. I also kind of liked that they introduced cloning humans into the story. I dunno, I didn't expect that, and I thought that in a movie about cloning, it seemed to make sense that there would be cloning humans, too. I think that was discussed in the Michael Critchon novel. I have to look that one up. In regards to the two motivations, I think they were auctioning off the dinosaurs to raise enough money to pay for cloning more dinosaurs to militarize. The one mistake they made, as I mentioned, was that they weren't charging enough for the dinosaurs. I think the idea is that they were making fun of people who DO own cheetahs and lions. I mean, Mike Tyson owned a Tiger, or have you not seen THE HANGOVER? Lol. But I think it was just a commentary on that, and it didn't bother me because I felt like it was designed just to make people hate big game hunters like Trump's kids and that dentist from Wisconsin. Haha. Wow, you guys really hated the clone story. I think I get why though, but didn't bother me. Oh, you know Hammond is much more evil in the book, and he gets killed by dinosaurs in the book - but in the movie, they decided to make John Hammond a good guy ultimately, or not go THAT dark... they wanted him to be the redemption, and realize he can't play god. Uh oh, you're now at the Indoraptor kills Jame Gumb scene. But it made sense for him to go in the cage because he thought he tranked the dinosaur and he wants that tooth! I thought there was a lot of cool stuff in this movie that wasn't in the trailer. I feel like that happens a lot with the end scenes being shown in trailers... but I only watched this trailer one time and forgot about most of it. Did you guys stay for the post credits scene in Paris? Great review! I gave it a 6/10 for fun dinosaurs and just the right amount of Chris Pratt. And a surprisingly good amount of Justice Smith.

Loki Marcus

Okay. So this movie was not boring, and the directing was admittedly beautiful. The actors also did well with the material they had. But my god... I hated this movie. I hated it so fucking much. Where to start? First off, all the twists weren't properly set up( and the twist with the girl being a human clone is so stupid and insults the original movies and books. They never set up the possibility that they could clone humans in this universe. And holy shit those villains were the biggest cartoon cut outs you could have made. I personally am tired about the "greedy suits exploiting dinosaurs for cash" gimmic that they seem to keep writing into these films. The original premise advertised of the volcano erupting and the dinosaurs being in danger was enough to make a compelling movie about animal rights and could have raised a lot of good discussions. But no. They went for action and brainless scratching-your-ass-and-smelling-it nods to the original in a pathetic attempt to make the fans happy and distracted. I mean by the end with the t rex doing the same roar that it did at the eruption seen, I could almost hear the director having an orgasm behind the screen. XDXDXD okay not really but still. And that horrible fuck the fans ending. That made no sense. Because now, the carnivorous dinosaurs will start eating humans, and the humans will start hunting and killing the dinosaurs. And if they don't, we have the fall of society and the fucking planet of the apes rip off. So congrats main characters, not only did you not change during the film, but you accomplished fuck all but chaos!! Hell the director even said he was just trying to make it so that he could do a movie with dinosaurs in modern society loose. It's so disrespectful to the franchise and the fans. Because he wasn't interested in making a good jurassic park film. He was just trying to meet his own agenda. Fucking pathetic. Rant over.

thereelrejects (edited)

Comment edits

2021-07-15 05:34:49 Haha thanks, man!! Glad we can at least agree to disagree :P I definitely get where you're coming from with a lot of this. As I see it, truly divisive are the films that hover around the 50% mark on the Tomatometer. I dunno exactly why the fun of it all couldn't shine through as much for us, but I actually did quite enjoy Justice Smith. And holy shit haha - tooootally did not realize that's the same actor who was Jame Gumb/Buffalo Bill. Blew my mind a little bit! ...and props for "Hannibal Raptor" haha, A+ referential pun. 👍🏼👍🏼 I think, going in, Greg mostly was hoping for a fun, b-grade monster flick akin to the first Jurassic World, but bigger. I thought Jurassic World was okay - the dinosaur stuff was a lot of fun, but didn't like/couldn't latch onto hardly any of the humans, so mainly I was hoping for a remedy to that problem to make a more wholly enjoyable experience. I do agree with some of your points here, though. I think J.A. Bayona was a good choice and a lot of his shots brought a sort of intense, monster-movie flair to everything. I just didn't think the script and his style of direction managed to coalesce a whole lot - at very least, that combination didn't translate into much of anything "fun" for me beyond a few sequences (namely the opening). It ultimately kept feeling a lot more dour & wrought than fun or over the top - at least until late in the movie. And yes haha, I think we actually commented on that in the theater like, "they're starting bidding at a few million dollars, that's it?!" I do like your point about the satire there. I can see that maybe shining brighter on a second viewing; just not enjoying so many other elements, perhaps that was kinda blocked out by the rest of it. As for the clone story... haha.. I don't think it's a bad idea in general, it just somehow managed to come across sort of random and ultimately unimportant? You're right - in a film series whose core revolves around cloning and genetic manipulation, it certainly isn't out-of-place in theory, but the way they handled that (or rather.. didn't?) didn't sit incredibly well with us. If it was supposed to be a big plot-twist/revelation (as it seems like the movie wanted it to be?), it'd just have been nice to focus on it in anything more than a cursory kind of way. Just felt like the only purpose it served was to add a smidge of context to James Cromwell's character and then justify her pushing the button at the end. On principle, I'm all for opening up that avenue in the JP universe, but again.. it'd have to feel like an actual element of the movie rather than a random twist they thew in. I can see the Jame Gumb/Indoraptor scene being a bit of a nitpick on our end. Had we been enjoying the rest of the film more, I might'a been just fine with that - although it was one of the more fun/enjoyable sequences when it came right down to it. It's still decently dumb of him to get into the cage, but if the rest of the movie had maybe been a bit more even, I could'a probably had more straight-fun with that. And I'll give ya that haha, definitely preferred this movie's dose of Chris Pratt as opposed to the previous one. Bryce Dallas Howard also. Either way, though, I'm glad you had a decent amount of fun with it! Nice to talk civilly about such things haha and appreciate you highlighting some of the backstory from the book -- one of these days I'd like to read it 😅 There are certainly some cartoon-y or "cute" things in the first Jurassic Park also, but with the more balanced tone and the better scripting, those things felt like variables in the greater theme of Chaos that surrounds that movie. I guess I just wish that, moving forward, Jurassic Park would try to play with a new kind of character, perhaps...? haha. Because, at least in this one, the formula's felt sorta painfully apparent in a different way. Either way, though, appreciate your feedback as always brotha!! One'a these days I think we'll all have to start some sort of debate podcast haha. Hope you're doing well in the meantime!! Talk soon!
2018-07-01 03:46:55 Haha thanks, man!! Glad we can at least agree to disagree :P I definitely get where you're coming from with a lot of this. As I see it, truly divisive are the films that hover around the 50% mark on the Tomatometer. I dunno exactly why the fun of it all couldn't shine through as much for us, but I actually did quite enjoy Justice Smith. And holy shit haha - tooootally did not realize that's the same actor who was Jame Gumb/Buffalo Bill. Blew my mind a little bit! ...and props for "Hannibal Raptor" haha, A+ referential pun. 👍🏼👍🏼 I think, going in, Greg mostly was hoping for a fun, b-grade monster flick akin to the first Jurassic World, but bigger. I thought Jurassic World was okay - the dinosaur stuff was a lot of fun, but didn't like/couldn't latch onto hardly any of the humans, so mainly I was hoping for a remedy to that problem to make a more wholly enjoyable experience. I do agree with some of your points here, though. I think J.A. Bayona was a good choice and a lot of his shots brought a sort of intense, monster-movie flair to everything. I just didn't think the script and his style of direction managed to coalesce a whole lot - at very least, that combination didn't translate into much of anything "fun" for me beyond a few sequences (namely the opening). It ultimately kept feeling a lot more dour & wrought than fun or over the top - at least until late in the movie. And yes haha, I think we actually commented on that in the theater like, "they're starting bidding at a few million dollars, that's it?!" I do like your point about the satire there. I can see that maybe shining brighter on a second viewing; just not enjoying so many other elements, perhaps that was kinda blocked out by the rest of it. As for the clone story... haha.. I don't think it's a bad idea in general, it just somehow managed to come across sort of random and ultimately unimportant? You're right - in a film series whose core revolves around cloning and genetic manipulation, it certainly isn't out-of-place in theory, but the way they handled that (or rather.. didn't?) didn't sit incredibly well with us. If it was supposed to be a big plot-twist/revelation (as it seems like the movie wanted it to be?), it'd just have been nice to focus on it in anything more than a cursory kind of way. Just felt like the only purpose it served was to add a smidge of context to James Cromwell's character and then justify her pushing the button at the end. On principle, I'm all for opening up that avenue in the JP universe, but again.. it'd have to feel like an actual element of the movie rather than a random twist they thew in. I can see the Jame Gumb/Indoraptor scene being a bit of a nitpick on our end. Had we been enjoying the rest of the film more, I might'a been just fine with that - although it was one of the more fun/enjoyable sequences when it came right down to it. It's still decently dumb of him to get into the cage, but if the rest of the movie had maybe been a bit more even, I could'a probably had more straight-fun with that. And I'll give ya that haha, definitely preferred this movie's dose of Chris Pratt as opposed to the previous one. Bryce Dallas Howard also. Either way, though, I'm glad you had a decent amount of fun with it! Nice to talk civilly about such things haha and appreciate you highlighting some of the backstory from the book -- one of these days I'd like to read it 😅 There are certainly some cartoon-y or "cute" things in the first Jurassic Park also, but with the more balanced tone and the better scripting, those things felt like variables in the greater theme of Chaos that surrounds that movie. I guess I just wish that, moving forward, Jurassic Park would try to play with a new kind of character, perhaps...? haha. Because, at least in this one, the formula's felt sorta painfully apparent in a different way. Either way, though, appreciate your feedback as always brotha!! One'a these days I think we'll all have to start some sort of debate podcast haha. Hope you're doing well in the meantime!! Talk soon!
>>13314359

Haha thanks, man!! Glad we can at least agree to disagree :P I definitely get where you're coming from with a lot of this. As I see it, truly divisive are the films that hover around the 50% mark on the Tomatometer. I dunno exactly why the fun of it all couldn't shine through as much for us, but I actually did quite enjoy Justice Smith. And holy shit haha - tooootally did not realize that's the same actor who was Jame Gumb/Buffalo Bill. Blew my mind a little bit! ...and props for "Hannibal Raptor" haha, A+ referential pun. 👍🏼👍🏼 I think, going in, Greg mostly was hoping for a fun, b-grade monster flick akin to the first Jurassic World, but bigger. I thought Jurassic World was okay - the dinosaur stuff was a lot of fun, but didn't like/couldn't latch onto hardly any of the humans, so mainly I was hoping for a remedy to that problem to make a more wholly enjoyable experience. I do agree with some of your points here, though. I think J.A. Bayona was a good choice and a lot of his shots brought a sort of intense, monster-movie flair to everything. I just didn't think the script and his style of direction managed to coalesce a whole lot - at very least, that combination didn't translate into much of anything "fun" for me beyond a few sequences (namely the opening). It ultimately kept feeling a lot more dour & wrought than fun or over the top - at least until late in the movie. And yes haha, I think we actually commented on that in the theater like, "they're starting bidding at a few million dollars, that's it?!" I do like your point about the satire there. I can see that maybe shining brighter on a second viewing; just not enjoying so many other elements, perhaps that was kinda blocked out by the rest of it. As for the clone story... haha.. I don't think it's a bad idea in general, it just somehow managed to come across sort of random and ultimately unimportant? You're right - in a film series whose core revolves around cloning and genetic manipulation, it certainly isn't out-of-place in theory, but the way they handled that (or rather.. didn't?) didn't sit incredibly well with us. If it was supposed to be a big plot-twist/revelation (as it seems like the movie wanted it to be?), it'd just have been nice to focus on it in anything more than a cursory kind of way. Just felt like the only purpose it served was to add a smidge of context to James Cromwell's character and then justify her pushing the button at the end. On principle, I'm all for opening up that avenue in the JP universe, but again.. it'd have to feel like an actual element of the movie rather than a random twist they thew in. I can see the Jame Gumb/Indoraptor scene being a bit of a nitpick on our end. Had we been enjoying the rest of the film more, I might'a been just fine with that - although it was one of the more fun/enjoyable sequences when it came right down to it. It's still decently dumb of him to get into the cage, but if the rest of the movie had maybe been a bit more even, I could'a probably had more straight-fun with that. And I'll give ya that haha, definitely preferred this movie's dose of Chris Pratt as opposed to the previous one. Bryce Dallas Howard also. Either way, though, I'm glad you had a decent amount of fun with it! Nice to talk civilly about such things haha and appreciate you highlighting some of the backstory from the book -- one of these days I'd like to read it 😅 There are certainly some cartoon-y or "cute" things in the first Jurassic Park also, but with the more balanced tone and the better scripting, those things felt like variables in the greater theme of Chaos that surrounds that movie. I guess I just wish that, moving forward, Jurassic Park would try to play with a new kind of character, perhaps...? haha. Because, at least in this one, the formula's felt sorta painfully apparent in a different way. Either way, though, appreciate your feedback as always brotha!! One'a these days I think we'll all have to start some sort of debate podcast haha. Hope you're doing well in the meantime!! Talk soon!

thereelrejects
>>13314359

And wait.. did they do multiple post-credits stings?? I thought I heard there was one in Vegas... It's funny because we almost always stay for the credits.. guess we picked the wrong flick to bail on haha 😅

thereelrejects
>>13328161

Haha I admire your passion!! I think we definitely share more than a couple opinions on this movie 😅 I feel like, for me, I can fathom the idea of human cloning in the JP world. Scientifically, if they can resurrect dinosaurs, it's not hard to imagine they could clone a person. That whole twist just felt tacked on and they didn't really wind up using it to do or say much, so it felt more random than anything. And I feel like I could get down with the very end of the film, because that did, at very least, seem to present a pretty compelling problem: what the FUCK is humanity gonna do now that the dinosaurs have made it to civilization?! I feel like this movie had the right director for a fair amount of good ideas that were handled very much the wrong way. Kinda reminded me of Batman V Superman in the way it brought up interesting themes and conversations and then proceeded to do little to nothing with any of them. And while I don't think any Jurassic Park movie has been great since the first one, I think this is the one (for me) where the formula seems most rote and obviously apparent - ESPECIALLY with the character types they seem to refuse to break away from. Kinda broke my heart having Jeff Goldblum show up for 5 minutes. So much is wasted in this movie haha. But at least the opening was cool! And even though they have pretty much the same arc as in the first Jurassic World, I liked Bryce Dallas Howard and Chris Pratt better in this one (along with Justice Smith and Daniella Pineda)... so there's that! 😅 Anyhow, here's hoping the next one's better? Appreciate your feedback as always!! Hope the rage has subsided a little bit now that a little time has passed haha.