Broken Soul Part 16 (Patreon)

"Jack?" Myst's avatar blurted when the pirate that he'd been sneaking up on turned to look at him and he recognized him.

"That depends, does this Jack owe you money?" Jack asked as he studied the man in front of him that was holding a bag filled with bottles and hats of various types in one hand and a staff in the other.

"No," Myst replied, half tempted to say yes.

"Do you want to kill or capture him?" Jack asked.

"No," Myst replied, not seeing a reason to try to kill the pirate if he was willing to talk.

"In that case, Captain Jack Sparrow at your service," Jack replied with a smirk. "What can I do for you?"

"I happen to have some rum that I don't need, do you happen to have anything to trade?" Myst asked, figuring it was worth a shot since he wasn't attacking him.

"Rum?" Jack asked as he pulled an old fashioned scroll out of a pocket. "I have an ancient and mysterious technique that I'm willing to part with for your bag of rum and hats."

"Sure," Myst replied as he set the bag of rum that he'd been collecting off the pirates on the ground and took a couple of steps back, glad that he'd been using a sack that he'd found rather than his bag of holding.

"Any objections to me checking the rum?" Jack asked, finding it a bit suspicious that he'd just hand over all of the rum without trying to bargain.

"As long as you understand that I stole the rum and the hats so I can't guarantee the quality," Myst replied quickly, rather amused by the entire situation.

"I would expect nothing less," Jack replied as he walked over and picked up one of the bottles. He uncorked the bottle and sniffed it. "Smells like death."

"It's pirate rum, what were you expecting?" Myst asked.

Jack took a drink. "Ah, rum."

"Does that mean we have a deal?" Myst asked, half expecting Jack to try to shoot him.

"Where did you acquire said rum?" Jack asked.

"Off dead pirates, they didn't need it," Myst replied with a grin.

Jack raised a finger. "Did the rum kill them?"

Myst shook his head. "No, they attacked me, so I killed them."

"Excellent," Jack replied as he tossed the scroll to Myst. "We good?"

"A deal is a deal," Myst replied as he checked the scroll. 'Lets me shape stone like clay, that's worth a couple of bags of rum.' He used the scroll, causing it to vanish.

"No take backs," Jack told him.

"Do you have any other scrolls?" Myst asked as he pulled a bottle of brandy out of his bag.

Jack used a rag to pull another scroll out of his pocket and toss it to Myst. "This came from a voodoo mystic, it's probably cursed."

Myst checked the scroll, wanting to make sure it wasn't actually cursed or wasn't cursed badly enough to warrant tossing. 'Technique for enchanting compass to point toward the nearest source of alcohol? That would be nearly useless if I wasn't hunting pirates or looking for civilization.' He stuck the scroll in his bag and tossed him the brandy. "Best of luck with the rum, mate."

"Pleasure doing business with you," Jack replied as grabbed the bag of rum and headed for his ship, looking forward to leaving the strange island.

'Weird island,' Myst thought as he turned and headed back into the forest, not sure why a version of Jack was on Gilligan's island. He pulled the scroll back out and used it, picking up a couple of cobbled together lectures on how to enchant a compass to find alcohol by someone who was no doubt more than slightly pissed. 'I should probably grab another featherbed from Hook while my other half carves the runes on the compass.'

0o0o0

Ten days later…

"How's your head?" Myst asked as Amy walked out of the cabin looking like she wanted to kill someone.

"I feel like something curled up in my mouth and died," Amy complained as she walked over and flopped down in a lawn chair.

"You're the one that thought drinking a couple of kegs worth of rum to work on our alcohol resistance was a good idea," Myst replied with amusement.

"Keep it down," Peter complained, feeling like his head was going to explode.

"Sorry," Myst replied a touch louder than he'd been talking. "No sense in waking the dead."

"You're an asshole, you know that right?" Amy asked, feeling like shit.

"I'm aware," Myst admitted, knowing that he took a bit too much pleasure out of messing with drunks.

Selena smiled as she turned the shower off and walked over to where the rest of the group was gathered. "You should try eating something, it helps."

"I can understand the old man surviving last night without a hangover, what's your excuse?" Ron demanded, glaring at the cheerful girl.

"I'm a demon," Selena replied with a smirk, not seeing a point in mentioning that she'd drank a remedy potion when she'd woken up with a headache.

"I can't," Amy grumbled, "he drank enough to kill an elephant."

"To be fair, I've got at least sixty pounds on you," Myst replied as he pulled his necklace of regeneration off and tossed it to Amy. "The necklace helps."

"Cheater," Amy muttered as she put the necklace on. She sighed in relief then gagged when her headache vanished, making the disgusting taste in her mouth worse. "I need a soda," she told Ron.

"Here," Ron replied as he conjured a can of Coke for Amy.

Peter winced as he turned his head too fast and his stomach lurched. "Is there a reason you didn't pass the necklace around earlier?" he asked after a couple of seconds to make sure he wasn't going to throw up again.

"I could give you an excuse, but it basically just comes down to me being sadistic," Myst admitted as he watched Amy drink the can of Coke.

"Seriously?" Peter complained as he moved the hat that had been over his face enough that he could look at Myst.

Myst shrugged. "As the only adult in the group, it's my responsibility to make sure your first time drinking alcohol is a horrible experience so you'll never touch the stuff again, most people fail."

Akari yawned. "I'm technically an adult."

"Are you old enough to drink?" Myst asked, fairly sure she was barely older than Peter and Gwen.

"On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere? Yes," Akari replied with a grin, glad that her vitality and the knock off poison resistance she'd acquired over the last week had dealt with the worst of their drinking binge.

"That's fucked up," Peter complained, fairly sure his uncle would have agreed with Myst. "How did I let everyone talk me into this?" he asked, still trying to piece the last couple of days together.

"Blame Akari," Myst replied as he gestured at Akari.

"You can't blame me for everything," Akari complained, not even bothering to hide her amusement.

"You're the one that talked everyone into pulling a drunken bender to forget the week long orgy," Myst pointed out.

"Okay, that's fair," Akari admitted, rather amused by the last couple of days of partying, if only because Amy and Taylor had needed to blow off steam. "In my defense, we should have enough alcohol and poison resistance that we'll be damned hard to poison or get drunk in the future."

"Shouldn't our resistance have stopped the hangover?" Gwen asked, still feeling like she'd gotten run over.

"I'm guessing that some of the rum was cursed," Myst offered, knowing damn well that it was as he'd used the cursed hat to create the rum since he wanted them to build up a resistance to magically enhanced drugs in case they ran into evil magic users.

Ron glanced at the whiteboard that Taylor was writing on. "Speaking of talents and powers, did you figure out why Peter, Myst and I managed to get the same boost as the girls since we didn't have sex with each other?"

"No, it probably has something to do with the order and Akari's talent," Taylor replied, not sure what else it could be.

"Pretty sure you had sex with the guys," Akari teased, enjoying the look of worry on Ron's face.

Peter shook his head then winced when his headache reminded him that he really shouldn't move his head. "Pretty sure I would have remembered that, I wasn't that drunk."

Amy took the regeneration necklace off and dropped it over Peter's head, causing his headache to vanish after a couple of seconds. "I don't recall the guys fucking."

"Never happened," Ron argued.

Selena raised her hand. "I would have remembered that, I wasn't that drunk."

Akari laughed. "It was during the week, not the drunken bender. Do you remember when I was giving Peter a blow job while Myst fucked me from behind?" she asked.

"Vaguely, I was paying more attention to the fact that Gwen was bouncing her tits on Peter's head and everything sort of blurred together," Myst admitted.

"Fair," Peter admitted.

"That counts?" Selena asked in surprise.

"If it didn't count, Gwen would have easily beat him at arm wrestling and she couldn't, which means he managed to keep up with her," Akari pointed out.

"Makes a certain amount of sense," Myst mused, fairly sure that Ron and Peter had double teamed Akari at some point and he'd done the same with Ron and Selena at least once in there.

"What happens on the island, stays on the island," Ron said as he bumped fists with Peter.

"Works for me," Myst agreed, fairly sure everyone needed a vacation from their vacation.

"How much strength do you think we got from Akari's power?" Selena asked, knowing that she was going to have to do some tests now that she wasn't focused on screwing her friends or working on her poison and alcohol resistances.

"At least fifty tons," Peter piped up, feeling better now that his headache was gone. "I measured the size of one of the boulders and made a guess about how much the rock weighed. I could feel the weight but it wasn't exactly heavy."

"Probably closer to sixty, my talent should have given you and Gwen around seven and a half tons each because we picked up half of your strength and you picked up a third of our increases. Of course, that's assuming that we didn't get anything from Ron or Selena."

Selena shook her head. "Not enough to matter."

"Same," Ron admitted, knowing that the strength from his monkey fu was just an application of ki which meant it shouldn't count as a power.

"How much of Taylor's bone talent did we get?" Gwen asked, curious if they'd ended up with a weaker boost to their bone's durability or if they'd end up with less bones being indestructible.

"Everything from the waist down and about half our spines," Myst offered, glad that he'd spent the tiles to upgrade all of Taylor's bones before the week-long orgy since it would reduce the number of upgrade tiles they'd need in the long run.

Peter took the regeneration necklace off and handed it to Gwen. "Speaking of loot, is everyone else getting crappy loot from the knock off treasure dimensions?"

"Yep," Selena agreed. "I've been getting chocolate coins wrapped in gold foil and plastic tourist crap for loot."

"I've been getting grass skirts," Gwen offered.

"I haven't tried," Amy admitted.

"I've been getting pirate munchkin cards," Taylor offered, wishing the game came with a rulebook since the cards looked amusing. "Have you found anything else that boosts the quality of drops?" she asked Myst.

"Yeah, I was going to mention it earlier but I got distracted," Myst replied. "I found a shrunken head that increases the drop rate of rare items by two percent if you wear it on your belt and a mummified horse cock that increases the item quality by twenty percent if you beat someone to death with it."

"Why would someone enchant… never mind, can we sacrifice it to add the enchantment to something else?" Ron asked hopefully.

"We're going to have to, it only has two points of durability and has the fragile quality," Myst replied as he pulled a cursed upgrade tile and the petrified cock out of his bag. He used the upgrade tile on it. "Can you check this?"

Selena pulled her magnifying glass out of her kit and checked the cursed horse cock. "That pushed it up to a twenty five percent increase and cursed it to make inappropriate sounds when you hit people."

Myst pulled another cursed upgrade tile out of his bag and used it on the horse cock. "And now?"

Selena snickered when she checked the cock. "Thirty percent, it also gives creatures that you kill with it a five percent chance of dropping a random sex based magical item. You're going to want to purify it, it has a three percent chance of petrifying your cock every time you kill something with it, turning it into a minor magical item."

"You're not using that on my minions, they'd revolt," Taylor argued when Myst turned his head and looked at her.

"Not a chance in hell," Ron said when Myst looked at him.

"Same," Peter added.

"Figured I'd check," Myst replied as he used his purifying technique on the horse cock, deciding that the possibility of minor magical items wasn't worth the cost of having to continually pull the stone cocks out of his pants while hoping that everything regenerated correctly. 'They'd probably end up cursed or useless.'

Selena frowned when she checked the cock and realized that it had lost half of its durability. "Eh, that dropped the durability by a point, I should probably sacrifice it before it breaks. What do you want me to boost?"

"A staff, give me a second," Myst replied as he grabbed a cursed upgrade tile from his bag then had his avatar hand him the regeneration staff. He used the cursed upgrade tile on the staff. "Can you check this?"

Selena checked the staff. "Stamina, mana, health and ki regeneration are all at fifty percent per second which means they're probably capped. How the hell did you get them up to fifty percent in a week?"

"Shadow clone abuse," Myst replied smugly. "I just resummoned him every time the curse cut his strength in half."

Akari nodded. "Makes sense, your strength is supernatural, that's a decent amount of power."

"Thirty percent drop rate and quality of drops, that's what, a five percent increase?" Selena asked.

"By numbers," Myst agreed, "it's a twenty five percent increase by percent."

"Don't start," Selena warned him, not interested in doing math on her summer break, especially not less than fifteen minutes after she woke up.

"Sorry," Myst replied as he held his hands up.

"I'm still working on waking up. It also picked up a five percent chance to drop extra mana potions when you kill something with it and a curse that warps your bones every time you kill something with it."

"As in it warps the shape or the material?" Myst asked.

"Shape," Selena replied as she focused and conjured a six foot black staff. "Hand it over."

Myst used his purification ability on the staff to break the curse then handed it to Selena along with the horse cock. "That should help."

Selena sacrificed the staff, causing the original 'unbreakable' staff to vanish. She checked to make sure she hadn't lost anything important then sacrificed the petrified horse cock and double checked the staff with her magnifying glass. "You're going to want to feed the staff a couple of dozen magic weapons to boost the base damage but your new staff boosts the drop rate by thirty percent and the quality of the drops by fifty percent and there's a chance that you'll get magic sex related items and mana potions."

"Is it still nearly indestructible?" Myst asked, wanting to make sure he didn't break it accidentally.

"Yep," Selena replied smugly as she handed Myst the staff. "It's also curse free which means you can beat the shit out of things without worrying about losing strength or getting cursed."

"Are you going to sacrifice the shrunken head?" Taylor asked, finding the head more than a bit creepy.

"Yeah, I was thinking about a pocket knife or a belt knife that we could pass around when someone is doing a lot of hunting," Myst replied as he pulled the head out of his bag along with a couple of upgrade tiles. "Let me see how badly I can curse it first."

"Speaking of curses, is anyone else getting the feeling that we should leave soon?" Gwen asked, fairly sure the tingling in the back of her head was getting worse.

"I thought it was just the rum," Peter admitted as he concentrated on the weird feeling. "I get the sense that we should leave if we don't want to get trapped."

"Now that you mention it, I feel like time is running out," Myst agreed as he quickly used the handful of upgrade tiles on the shrunken head, causing its eye sockets to start glowing with a sickly green light and it to start moaning like a wannabe porn star. "What the hell?"

Selena checked the shrunken head with her magnifying glass then conjured a pocket knife and quickly sacrificed the cursed shrunken head before it disintegrated. "Sorry, it was going to fall apart in twenty nine seconds."

"You're the expert, what did we get?" Myst asked, hoping the pocket knife was stable.

Selena checked the belt knife, wanting to check to make sure the new item wasn't cursed. "As long as you have the knife in your possession, the magic increases the drop rate of rare items by ten percent, increases the electrical damage you deal by twenty percent, and turns ten percent of the damage you should have taken from lightning before resistances or immunities into mana and health regeneration. It also lets you cause your eyes to glow with eldritch power which should freak people out."

"That should make farming upgrade tiles easier," Myst mused, extremely happy that he'd managed to boost the item's loot percentage from two percent to a more respectable ten.

"When are we leaving?" Ron asked, wanting the feeling of unease to vanish.

Myst turned to look at Peter. "Do we have an hour?"

"Probably, but we'd be cutting things close," Peter replied, getting the sense that they needed to hurry.

"Right, I'm not getting stuck here," Myst said, thinking about the cast on the show and how everything had conspired to trap them on the island. "You've got twenty minutes to grab your stuff then we're leaving."

"What are we going to do about the pixies?" Selena asked, not wanting to leave a couple of the pixies that Myst had rescued from Hook behind.

"We're leaving in twenty minutes, if they're here and want to go, great, if not, sorry, not sorry but I'm not letting the island trap us here," Myst told her then headed for the cabin to grab the feather mattresses that he'd looted from Captain Hook.

Selena quickly cast her message spell, sending the message to all of the pixies, "We're leaving, you've got fifteen minutes to get back to camp if you want to leave with us."

Peter took the regeneration necklace off and handed it to Gwen. "I'll start packing."

"At least we don't have that much shit," Amy said as she headed for the cabin to get dressed and start packing the couple of things she wanted to take with her.

"Speak for yourself," Taylor grumbled as she headed for the cabin, thinking about the crap that her spirit beasts had been collecting over the last week and a half.

0o0o0

"Cabin!" Mary Ann Summers said cheerfully when she spotted the bamboo cabins.

"Hello!" the Skipper called out as he headed toward the cabin, happy to have someone else to talk to.

Gilligan plastered a smile on his face as he stared at the fading traces of magic that he could see in front of the cabin. 'Looks like someone escaped. Ah well, at least I collected the rest of the Incarnations of Sin before they caused too much trouble.'

"I wonder if my books are still in the cave," the Professor mused.

"The storm might have floated them out to see, you should check," Gilligan suggested 'absently' as he studied the magic the strangers had used to escape the island. 'That should give me plenty of time to make sure none of them can 'rescue' you.'

"I hope my dresses made it," Ginger said, thinking about the dresses she'd been forced to leave when they’d escaped the island.

"My money," Thurston said, wanting to reclaim his trunk.

"Is that a shower?" Mary Ann asked cheerfully when she spotted the strange outhouse with a large water tank over it.

"Looks like it," Gilligan agreed as he reached out with his magic and stabilized the spell so that it wouldn't vanish tomorrow. 'I don't want them knowing that magic exists, it just makes things harder and they'd be more likely to try to escape.'