Endbringers Hate Paperwork Part 12 (Patreon)

"Glad you could make it," Myst offered as Noelle walked into the warehouse with Lisa and a dark haired teen that could be a model. 'At least the fairy dust fixed her appearance.'

Alec stared at the piles of silver coins and antique weapons. "Did you rob a museum?"

"I'm pretty sure that would have made the news," Myst pointed out. "No Bitch or Grue?"

"They're outside with her dogs," Lisa replied as she glanced between the unfamiliar people, wondering how they fit into things as they weren't wearing masks.

Noelle glanced between Othala's clone and Taylor then focused on Myst, not sure why she couldn't get a sense of his power by smell, unlike the rest of the capes. "Where did you get the dust?"

Myst gestured towards the loot that Yuffie and Tifa were looking through. "Same place I got the rest of the loot, my friend has the ability to open portals into pocket dimensions, they're filled with monsters."

"Let me guess, the monsters drop loot when you kill them?" Alec asked sarcastically.

"Not so much," Myst replied with a grin. "The monsters vanish when you kill them which means you have to steal the gear before you kill them if you want to keep it. The coins drop when you complete a level."

Alec glanced at the piles of loot. "That sounds like a pain in the ass."

"Yeah," Taylor agreed.

Lisa glanced at the girl wearing a red helmet and see-through spandex that left almost nothing to the imagination. "How dangerous are the monsters?"

"That depends on the item she's using as a focus, the types of monster you run into and how many levels you've already completed," Myst explained.

"Focus?" Noelle asked.

Myst gestured towards the runic circles on the concrete. "Her power basically sets up a field that allows people to upgrade items by fighting monsters in a pocket dimension. The higher the quality of the focus and the more levels you complete, the more dangerous the monsters get."

"I'm not sure how much we're going to be able to help, we're not exactly heavy hitters," Lisa admitted.

"I'm aware," Myst assured her. "If you want to leave, be my guest, I'll even pay you for your time but I'm offering you a chance to make a decent amount of money and pick up more powers if you're willing to work for it."

"What type of powers?" Alec asked.

"Our biokinetic can give you a decent brute rating and I know a girl that can permanently give you a blaster rating in a couple of days if you're interested," Myst replied with a grin.

"What's the catch?" Alec asked, knowing there had to be a catch.

"You're going to need to rebrand as heroes or rogues," Myst told him.

Alec snorted. "Even if we wanted to, Bitch doesn't have a secret identity and her powers are distinctive."

"Any halfway decent lawyer should be able to get the charges dropped or at least reduced to something we can deal with," Myst stated. "I'm not asking you to be a saint, I just want to make sure that you don't end up dead in a ditch."

"Why do you care?" Alec asked.

"You're interesting," Myst admitted. "Your father is a lazy piece of shit and you managed to be a halfway decent person, if a 'bit' jaded."

"You think I'm a halfway decent person?" Alec asked in disbelief.

"Compared to some of the people I've met over the years, yeah," Myst assured him. "Tattletale has parents that cared more about what she could do for them than they did about her. Grue is trying to be responsible for his sister and Rachel needs a hand because the system let her fall through the cracks. You're not saints but you're a hell of a lot better than you could be."

"There are plenty of criminals we can target," Lisa pointed out before Alec said something they'd regret.

"True," Alec agreed, knowing they could always go back to being villains if things didn't work out. "What can you tell us about the pocket dimensions?"

"They're basically a series of star-filled voids with floating platforms, random terrain and monsters with powers. Once you beat all of the monsters on the first level, you jump to the next level, until you use an item to leave or until you beat ten levels," Myst explained.

"What type of powers?" Lisa asked, wanting to get more information so her power would stop tossing wild guesses at her.

Myst focused on Lisa. "Most of the monsters are at least low tier brutes. I doubt you'll see any changers, breakers, strangers or trumps but the rest of the categories are on the table."

"Rest of the categories?" Cloud asked, not wanting to go into things blind.

"Think of it like a video game or a walk through a dungeon, they have ranged weapons and spells that hit single targets or an area."

Tifa smiled, looking forward to getting back in shape. "We've fought worse."

"Do you have any suggestions to avoid getting splattered?" Lisa asked, not particularly interested in walking into a meat grinder.

"Don't get hit," Yuffie suggested cheerfully.

Myst looked at Taylor. "You should probably make a puppet that can make everyone more durable."

"Sure," Taylor agreed as she pulled up her minion menu and created a puppet with the 'invulnerability' half of Galvanate's power along with Glory Girl's shield and flight.

Alec stared at the masked puppet wearing a suit and holding a toy tommy gun. "You make puppets?"

"Puppets with powers?" Lisa asked, wanting to confirm things.

"Basically," Taylor replied as her puppet walked over and poked Yuffie's leg, increasing her durability to the point she doubted most of the monsters could even scratch her.

"We have ten people and a puppet, we might as well do a test run while we're waiting for the girls to get back," Myst suggested, not sure if the puppets would take up a spot.

"What are we jumping into first?" Taylor asked, looking forward to seeing what Cloud and his friends could do.

Myst pulled the identify spell book out of his spatial ring. "We might as well start with the Identify spell book."

"Spellbook?" Alec asked as the puppet touched his leg.

"Just think of it like a power rating that you can acquire by reading books," Myst replied with a grin as he floated off the ground so he could stand up without accidentally crushing something.

Lisa glanced at Noelle. "What do you think?"

Noelle pulled her attention off the puppet and looked at Lisa. "Sounds fun."

Cloud laughed as he picked up his sword. "Just like old times."

"Let's hope not," Tifa said, thinking about some of the monsters they'd fought over the years.

Myst walked over and set the book in the circle and charged it with mana like the Item Girl had shown them. "Everyone in…" he trailed off as Yuffie immediately bounced into the circle, vanishing from sight. "I should have expected that."

Aerith laughed then followed Tifa into the circle.

Lisa took a breath then walked into the circle, not sure what to expect.

Noelle followed Cloud and Tifa, looking forward to a chance to cut loose and have some fun where she didn't have to worry about property damage.

Myst watched the rest of the people step into the circle and vanish. He stepped over the circle and onto a rocky platform floating in a void with six other platforms of various sizes.

Alec stared at the field of stars for a couple of seconds in amazement before his attention was grabbed by a dozen high pitched voices screaming. He turned to look at the goblin like creatures charging at them. "What are they?"

"Fallen," Myst replied as he pulled the best magic boosting staff he had out of his spatial ring and focused on his new bracer. 'Let's see if this works,' he mused as he tried to push enough mana into the spell frame floating in his mind to get the spell to work. He scowled as his mana pool hit rock bottom and the spell lurched, causing two dozen rocks to fly down from the sky rather than two dozen comets of destruction.

Myst had a couple of seconds to watch the rocks fall before they struck the strangely dressed creatures and most of the monsters lost at least one weapon or article of clothing and he felt a rush like he'd just drained five pixie sticks at once as the mana and health flowed into his pool, pushing him higher than he'd started. He smiled as the next wave of rocks fell from the sky, striking the monsters as they staggered towards the ground, causing most of them to lose another item of clothing or a weapon.

Noelle stared at the charging monsters as the fourth wave of rocks killed half of the monsters, causing them to vanish in motes of light like a video game. "Did you just steal everything they had?"

"Most of it," Myst replied with a grin as he reached out with telekinesis and lifted the remaining seven goblin-like demons off the ground so the group would have time to get their bearings. "Like I said, floating platforms and monsters."

"Do you even need our help?" Noelle asked, surprised by how easy Myst made it look.

"Yes and no," Myst replied as he mentally checked his spatial ring. "Technically I could probably do everything myself but that sounds boring."

"Always better to have friends," Yuffie agreed as she pulled a throwing star off her belt and hit one of the goblin creatures with it, causing it to vanish along with the cheap throwing star. "That's annoying."

"Yep," Myst agreed. "You'll probably want to stick with spells or melee weapons."

Tifa reached out and punched one of the goblins, turning it into paste despite the distance thanks to her long ranged materia. "How many levels do we have to get through before we get a challenge?"

"At least twenty," Myst replied as he pulled a pair of Disgaea firearms out of his inventory and handed them to Lisa and Alec. "I'd give you staves but we're going to be moving at a decent pace."

"Do you want pyromancy?" the Othala clone offered.

Alec turned to look at the girl that wasn't wearing a mask. "Hell yeah!"

She grinned as she gave Alec pyromancy and stole his gun. "It should last a couple of minutes."

"Sweet!" Alec replied as he reached out and set the goblins on fire with his mind, giggling manically all the while.

Myst smiled as the level changed and they found themselves in a ruined hallway. He raised his staff and pushed mana into the spell floating in his mind, managing to get burning rocks this time before his mana pool emptied. 'I'll get there eventually, I just need a couple of magic elixirs or a better staff.'

"Let's have some fun," Cloud said cheerfully as he dashed towards the large demon that didn't look particularly injured from Myst's spell.

"Mug," Yuffie said cheerfully as she stole a knife from one of the monsters that Myst hadn't managed to steal. She bashed one of the demons over the head then danced out of the way of its counterattack. "Too slow!"

Lisa shot one of the demons, happy that the gun wasn't nearly as loud as she'd been expecting. "Built-in silencer?"

"Or someone enchanted it," Myst replied with a grin as he looked through the collection of loot, happy to see a couple of spell books.

0o0o0

"We need a challenge," Yuffie complained as dodged the demon's claws that almost looked like they were moving in slow motion. She reached out and bashed the demon over the head with her staff, splattering its skull like a rotten melon and causing the level to switch.

Alec quickly glanced around when he realized that they'd been dropped into a level with intact buildings and a couple of children. He focused on the chicken he could see hunting for bugs in a patch of grass next to a young girl playing with a yoyo. "Don't attack the chicken."

Myst looked away from the rather distinctive signs over the doors to the intact building and focused on the chicken, briefly wondering if he could torch it on general principle or if it was like the damned chickens from Zelda. 'It's probably a pet,' he mused, deciding that it wasn't worth upsetting the girl on the off chance that she wasn't just a conjured fragment. "I'm not going to attack her chicken."

"You thought about it," Lisa pointed out, having noticed the look on his face.

"I don't particularly like chickens," Myst admitted as he looked around, wanting to make sure there weren't any monsters lurking. "It seems safe enough, we can probably buy supplies."

"Awesome," Yuffie said cheerfully as she headed towards the shop, curious what she could buy with the coins that she'd swiped from the monsters.

"Any idea how we're supposed to get out of here?" Taylor asked as she looked around.

"There's probably a door or someone we have to talk to," Myst replied as they walked towards the building with a picture of a sword on the sign, curious what type of weapons they were selling.

The girl near the chicken looked up when she heard the group. "New people!"

"Where are we?" Myst asked the girl wearing a blue dress on the off chance that she was actually intelligent and not some type of construct.

"You're in the Void Mall," the girl replied as she gestured around the courtyard. "I'm Sabrina, this is Dumplin the Chicken of Doom."

'Chicken of Doom? Yeah, I'm not going there,' Myst thought as he kept an eye on the surprisingly normal looking chicken.

"Chicken of Doom?" Taylor asked.

"Yep! He has laser beam eyes," Sabrina said cheerfully. "Are you a," she jumped when a bell rang. "I've got to go!"

Myst watched the rest of the children head towards what looked like an old fashioned school house, with various degrees of enthusiasm. "Let's see what we can find." He gave the chicken that was ignoring them a warily look and took a couple of steps towards the shops before remembering that he wasn't going to fit inside. "Have fun, I'll just take a break."

"I'll check the staves," Taylor assured him as she headed for the weapons shop. 'I should probably check to see if they have a way to change size.'

"I wonder if they have buster swords," Cloud mused as he headed towards the weapon shop.

"Doubt it," Tifa said, knowing most shops didn't bother as almost no one seriously used the things as they were stupidly heavy. "Most people would have trouble lifting the blades, let alone using them in a fight."

"You'd have to be a brute or a giant," Alec mused as they walked into the shop.

Myst carefully lowered himself to the ground with telekinesis, figuring the girls would take a while considering there were a couple of shops to look through. He opened the interface for his spatial ring and started sorting through the loot he'd picked up. 'This would be so much easier if I had a system or a decent identification spell.'

'Is there anyone I can summon that can help me learn enchanting?' Myst mused, trying to come up with someone that wouldn't mind helping him. "I'm going to need to summon a gamer or an evil bastard…" he trailed off as he realized he had an idea that he wanted to try. 'Screw it, you only live once.'

He pulled Victor out of his spatial ring, wanting to make sure the area didn't have a restriction on the number of people you brought into it before he tried his crazy plan. He focused on his summoning power and Star Wars, looking for a version of Palpatine that had a lightsaber with him. He grinned as he realized that he had a chance to change the fate of an entire galaxy and have a good laugh at the same time. He summoned Palpatine, Mace Windu and Anakin when they were in the middle of an argument.

Mace Windu froze as he found himself in a courtyard with a field of stars for a sky along with Anakin and the Chancellor. "What is going on?"

Myst reached out with telekinesis as Palpatine tried to stab Mace Windu and stole his lightsaber. "I'm stealing a sith lord's lightsaber."

"You dare!" Palpatine shouted as he hit Myst with force lightning.

Myst used telekinesis to rip Palpatine's eyes out, spun him around then bashed his face against the ground, leaving the man stunned. "Note to self, the next time you summon a sith lord, make sure you knock him unconscious," he grumbled as he used Victor's power to drain the man's lightsaber skills, figuring things would go better if he didn't have them.

"What the hell?!" Anakin sputtered, shocked that the Chancellor could use force lightning.

"I don't appreciate being hit with lightning," Myst replied.

"Are you going to kill him?" Anakin asked warily.

"It wouldn't do any good," Myst admitted as he continued draining the man's combat skills. "Even if I tossed him into the abyss he'd be fine when he got back to your realm though."

"If that's the case, why bring us here?" Mace asked, unable to read the giant's emotions.

"I believe you were about to ask Anakin to help him kill the Chancellor," Myst said, thinking about a meme that Dogbertcarroll had posted a couple of days before he'd gotten pulled into the world.

"We're jedi, we're supposed to be better than that," Anakin argued.

"Tell you what, if you help Mace kill Palpatine, I'll give you some magic dust that will make sure Padme and her unborn children are safe," Myst offered.

Anakin opened his mouth then closed it. "On reflection, sometimes you need to break the rules."

"Seriously?" Mace asked in surprise, surprised at how quickly Anakin had changed his mind.

"He's obviously used mind control on the senate, there's no way we'd be able to bring him to trial," Anakin pointed out.

Myst pulled a bag of fairy dust out of his spatial ring and tossed it to Anakin. "Just open the bag and pour the dust over her head, preferably somewhere she doesn't have to clean."

Anakin looked at the bag, missing the second bag of dust that Myst tossed at his head. He closed his eyes as the bag of dust exploded sending glitter everywhere. "What was that for?" he asked, feeling strangely calm considering the situation.

"You've been stressed and angry for a long time, using the dust helps with balance. Corruptive the force is, too much of the lightside you get ridgid, too much of the darkside and you lose your mind to hatred," Myst replied with a smirk. "Then again, the sith are fucking nuts to start with so you can probably take that with a grain of salt. Either way, the dust should fix any health problems."

"What about the chancellor?" Mace asked warily.

"I'm keeping his lightsaber, which means you'll have a second or two to kill him before he calls for help or tosses you out of the window with force lightning," Myst explained.

Mace frowned as he thought about where he'd been standing. "That's an oddly specific sequence of events."

"Almost I can see the future," Myst replied sarcastically as he put Palpatine's lightsaber in his spatial ring. 'Actually, yeah, sorry, not sorry' he mused as he pulled another bag of fairy dust out of his spatial ring and hit Mace Windu with it. He gave him a couple of seconds to recover and blink the dust out of his eyes then banished the three of them. 'If you have the chance to hit a guy that looks like Jackson in the face with glitter without getting killed, you take it.'

He made a mental note to summon Anakin back when he had Amy to give him a check up and do something about his hand. 'At least that would let me figure out if they killed the Chancellor or if the force twisted things to keep things on track.'