Harry Potter and the Twisted Game Part 5 (Patreon)

"Let the training montage begin," Xander said cheerfully as he grabbed a training sword off the rack.

"Shouldn't we start with a wooden sword?" Hermione asked warily, less than enthusiastic about the idea of getting cut up during training, even if she understood why everyone needed to learn the basics.

"Normally," James replied as he grabbed one of the swords out of the rack. "However Taylor has a regeneration aura which means we can jump right into hacking off limbs and stabbing people."

Hermione stared at her father in disbelief, fairly sure he'd lost his mind. "Are you insane!"

"Probably," Lily mused as she jabbed James in the arm with her training sword, causing him to wince, before she pulled it back, showing he was unharmed. "As you can see, they're perfectly harmless."

"Just painful," James complained as he rubbed his shoulder where she'd stabbed him, trying to get it to stop tingling. "Was that really needed?"

"You reserve the right to play practical jokes, I reserve the right to hex or stab you when you go overboard," Lily replied cheerfully.

"Sounds fair," Harry said as he picked up one of the practice swords, fairly sure the Weasley twins would have given their mother a heart attack if they'd had these swords.

Sirius glanced between Lily and James. "I'm sensing a story there."

Lily turned to look at Sirius. "You and Selena found the original sword in a Roman dungeon about ten years ago and neglected to mention the fact that you'd reverse engineered the enchantment. You and James were testing the swords out when I got back from work early and saw James stab you."

"Sorry?" Sirius offered, thinking about some of the pranks they'd pulled that had exploded or gone seriously wrong over the years.

"Don't worry about it," Lily replied. "I had a bunch of reports to grade that week and it's not like you set the whole thing up."

"Exactly," James agreed, not mentioning the fact that they'd planned to use the swords in a prank before things had gone sideways and they'd realized Lily would have blown her top and hexed them into paste if they'd actually gone through with their original idea.

Taylor glanced up at the sky. "We've got a couple of hours of daylight left, we should get to stabbing people."

Xander glanced at Annette. "Was she always this violent?"

Annette laughed. "You should see her reaction to door-to-door salesmen."

"If they didn't want me to walk up to the door with a redneck katana and a smile, they shouldn't have ignored the no trespassing sign," Taylor argued.

"Redneck katana?" Hermione asked as she grabbed a sword and walked over to where Taylor was standing.

"Basically a piece of rebar wrapped in tape for a handle," Taylor explained as she studied Hermione's stance. "We're going to have to work on your stance and balance."

"I'm not planning on being a warrior, I just need the basics so I can use a sword," Hermione reminded her.

"Stances and strikes are the basics," Taylor said as she walked around behind Hermione. "Just relax a bit and move your left foot a couple of inches to the left then shift your weight and test your balance, you might have to adjust your feet until it feels comfortable."

"Same for the rest of us?" Harry asked as he grabbed one of the practice swords.

"Basically," Taylor explained as she gestured towards a spot ten feet from Hermione. "Just sort of spread around the courtyard a bit and make sure you're not going to hit anyone by accident. Once we get everyone into a comfortable stance we'll move onto strikes."

Sirius grabbed a sword and walked over to an open space and slipped into a comfortable stance, glad that fencing was sort of like dueling with a wand. "Shouldn't we teach everyone a shield spell?"

"We'll get there, let's get sweaty and tired first," Dawn suggested as she grabbed a sword off the rack, looking forward to actually beating her brother now that he didn't remember how to fight.

"You're way too enthusiastic about this," Hermione muttered, fairly sure she wasn't going to enjoy the combat training.

0o0o0

Lily pulled her attention away from where Harry was sparring against Xander when she noticed Selena walk through the gate, wearing a pair of fluffy cat ears and a transparent red dress that clung to her skin. "Hello kitty!"

"Witch!" Selena teased as she sprinted over to where Annette, Sirius, Lily and James were watching the children spar and pulled Annette into a hug. "Welcome back!"

Annette smiled as she grabbed Selena's butt and gave her a squeeze. "Love you too."

Selena spun Annette around then licked her nose and let her go. "We're going to have to hit the town and see the sights."

"There's a bit of a complication," Lily pointed out.

Selena turned to look at Lily. "What's that?"

"Willow, Xander, Dawn, Taylor and Annette picked up some extra memories and Harry, Hermione and Sirius lost their memories of this world and picked up a collection of memories from elsewhere," Lily explained.

"What the fuck?!" Selena sputtered, her previous good mode falling apart when she realized her husband didn't remember their life together. 'I thought I left this shit behind in Gotham.'

"That was my thought," James said, less than happy about the situation, especially since he'd run into a bunch of hassles at work.

"Have you tried to fix it?" Selena asked, forgetting for a second that their immunity to most types of magic complicated things.

"In case you forgot, we're nearly immune to magic. I'd try a memory restoration potion but I don't have the ingredients on hand," Lily replied.

"Lethe water?" Selena glanced up at the already darkening sky. "I can talk to some people at the market tomorrow."

"Be careful, the warlocks are keeping an eye on anyone buying it," James warned her.

Selena nodded. "Probably because it's the only substance powerful enough to knock the princesses for a loop and you'd want them unconscious if you were trying to hold them."

"That's our best guess considering we haven't been plunged into the middle of winter and none of the bells rang signifying their deaths," James said, wishing they'd been able to find the princesses so that things could go back to normal.

"What was the other world like?" Selena asked.

"As near as I can tell, he's the Sirius from my dreams," Lily said then playfully flipped Sirius off when he smirked.

"Does that mean you know what happened after they died?" Selena asked hopefully, having been wondering about that for more than a decade.

"Unfortunately," Sirius admitted as he studied the young woman that he'd married or his alternate had married. 'At least I have excellent taste.'

"How bad?" Selena asked warily.

"I got framed for killing someone and spent the next twelve years in prison, Harry ended up stuck with a twisted version of Lily's sister and the dark wizard came back," Sirius explained.

"Sounds like hell," Selena admitted.

"Let's call it a night for the training and compare notes while we make up for lost time with Annette," Lily suggested.

"Works for me," Selena agreed as she turned to watch Willow and Hermione's sparring match. "Is Hermione getting better?"

"Yes," Willow complained as she gestured and teleported Hermione's sword back to the rack. "I win."

"Cheater," Hermione complained, annoyed by the cheating but glad to be done with the sparring.

"Don't worry about it, I'll show you some tricks tomorrow," Selena promised Hermione. "I'd give you some pointers right now but I have a couple of witches to ravage and a husband to fuck until he remembers me."

Willow shook her head. "I don't think it works that way."

Sirius grinned as he let his gaze travel over Selena's body. "Maybe not but I'm certainly willing to test the theory."

"That's the spirit," Selena said cheerfully as she headed towards the tower.

"Can you at least keep the screaming and moans down to a dull roar?" Willow asked, fairly sure the answer was going to be no.

"No promises," Lily replied then playfully swatted Annette and James on their bottoms. "Tag!" she said cheerfully then turned into a large red fox and ran after Selena.

"Don't worry, we'll figure something out about your lack of memory," James promised as they headed towards the tower.

Sirius glanced over at Harry who was talking with Taylor about techniques then followed James. 'He'll be fine.'

"Were you joking about the noise?" Hermione asked, not sure how to feel about the mental images bouncing around her mind of Sirius having sex with the rest of the adults, mostly because he was the only adult she really had a connection with.

"Not so much," Dawn replied as she pulled a doorknob out of her inventory and headed towards the toolshed. "Let's head to our secret clubhouse."

Xander shook his head. "Right, secret."

"They've never mentioned it, thus it's secret," Dawn replied with a grin, looking forward to the chance to seduce her siblings and Taylor without having to listen to the adults going at it.

"At least you're in a stone building," Taylor pointed out as she put the swords she'd collected back on the rack.

"Your secret clubhouse is a tool shed?" Hermione asked as they followed Dawn.

"Nope," Dawn replied with amusement as she touched the doorknob to the door of the tool shed above the other doorknob then twisted and pulled the door open, revealing a well lit stone room with several mismatched couches, chairs and tables scattered around the cozy room with a large fireplace. "What do you think?"

"Where did you get the doorknob?" Hermione asked as she looked inside the room that was definitely larger than the tool shed.

"Dawn rescued it from one of the storage rooms a couple of years ago," Willow explained then walked inside.

"There's a silencing charm on the room which means that we can scream and dance and they won't notice," Dawn said cheerfully.

"I wish I'd had one of these at Hogwarts, Ron's snoring could wake the dead," Harry said as he walked inside. 'Not to mention it would have made dealing with the Dursleys easier, then again, I could have done the same with a wizarding tent then I wouldn't have had to deal with the bastards.'

"Lavender," Hermione muttered, fairly sure that a couple of silencing charms would have made dealing with her giggling roommates a lot easier.

Taylor followed the rest of the group into the 'secret' room and flopped down on a couch. "What do you want to do now?"

"I wouldn't mind relaxing and swapping stories," Xander said as he sat down on a chair.

Willow grinned as she claimed Xander's lap. "Sounds good to me, Lily doesn't talk about Hogwarts all that much beyond classes and teachers and James only ever talked about the pranks they pulled off or the annoying caretaker."

Dawn closed the door then looked at Willow and Xander. "Comfortable?"

"It's sort of lumpy," Willow replied as she wiggled on Xander's lap to get comfortable.

"That's not going to help," Xander warned her, fairly sure that she knew exactly what she was doing.

'It's helping me,' Willow replied in her head as Dawn walked over and sat down on the armrest of the couch. "What can you tell us about Potions?"

"I probably would have enjoyed it if the teacher wasn't a biased piece of shit," Harry replied, glad that he didn't have to deal with Snape anymore.

"Was he really that bad?" Taylor asked Hermione.

"He took a bunch of points for Harry breathing too loudly and wouldn't stop students from making potentially lethal mistakes in his class. He was also completely unfair when it came to grades," Hermione complained. "What was your thief school like?"

Taylor grinned. "It was a hive of scum and villainy mixed with the occasional halfway decent person with interesting talents, stealing things from anyone that wasn't a teacher was encouraged and the principal had a board of education that she loved using on people that got caught not following the rules. Thankfully, I went to Arcadia in the other world because in the other world Winslow didn't have any redeeming qualities."

"Can someone explain the Avatar game?" Harry asked, figuring it would be worth knowing how much the cards were worth.

"Sure, it's easy," Taylor replied as she pulled a box of starting cards out of her inventory so she could explain the game.

0o0o0

'Okay, this is obviously not working, she's been grinding on his lap for ten minutes and she still has her clothes on, I might have to try something a bit different to get things moving,' Dawn mused as Taylor finished picking up her cards from their game. "Okay, any questions about the game?"

"Why is Harry's thievery skill high when he can barely use the skill consistently?" Hermione asked as she studied Harry's card.

"Natural talent and his father's invisibility cloak boosted his stealth and your ability to steal things increases when people can't see you, I bet it would be even higher if we got him a bit of practice with pickpocketing," Dawn suggested as she stood up and turned away from Harry, fairly sure she could get Willow out of her clothes with a bit of work and off Xander's lap so she could finally fulfill all the fantasies she'd had in sunnydale or at least the saner ones. "Just focus on my belt knife."

"I'm not sure how this works," Harry admitted as he tried to focus on Dawn's belt knife rather than her behind, mostly because she had on a pair of thin shorts that didn't leave much to the imagination. "I just sort of reached out and grabbed the jerk's bracelet at the station."

Dawn pulled her attention away from where Willow and Xander were kissing on the other couch and looked at Harry over her shoulder. "Exactly, don't think, just reach out and steal something while I'm distracted."

"It would probably be easier if he started with someone that isn't a thief," Taylor pointed out, not sure if they should start with something easier or just jump into the deep end considering his thievery talents.

Dawn glanced between Hermione and Willow. "Considering Hermione's memory is suspect, we should probably start by stripping Willow."

Willow slammed the door on the voice in her head that sounded like Ira Rosenberg lecturing her about her being a proper lady and smiled at Dawn and Harry. "Go for it."

"Easy access," Xander teased as he watched Harry reach out and carefully grab the hem of Dawn's shorts while she was distracted. He smiled when Harry managed to steal/inventory Dawn's shorts, leaving her naked from the waist down. "Nice work."

"She told me to steal something when she was distracted," Harry replied, hoping Dawn wasn't too annoyed about the fact that he'd stolen her shorts.

Dawn flashed Harry a smile then walked over and sat down in front of Xander and Willow on the coffee table then spread her legs and leaned back so she was lying on the table in between Hermione and Taylor. "You should steal my shirt so Hermione and Taylor can have some fun playing with my breasts," she suggested, wanting to make sure they got to the kinky side of things before Xander and Willow decided that their Sunnydale memories had any traction when it came to morality or modesty.

"What makes you think I want to?" Hermione sputtered, doing her best to ignore the flush in her cheeks. She was fairly sure seeing her twin naked and sprawled out on a table shouldn't turn her on as much as it did, regardless of any thoughts she’d had while possessing a time turner.

Dawn turned and smiled at Hermione. "Experience."

Harry glanced at the percentage chance to successfully steal her shirt his head's up display was showing him and shook his head. "Try closing your eyes."

"One handicap coming up," Dawn replied cheerfully as she closed her eyes. "Is that enough or do you want more of a handicap?"

"I'm not going to complain if you want to make it easier," Harry replied, trying not to stare between Dawn's legs and failing.

"More like harder," Dawn teased, then stuck her middle finger in her mouth and licked it.

Harry stared in disbelief when Dawn slowly pulled her finger out of her mouth and slipped it into her pussy. 'I shouldn't be watching this. I shouldn't be enjoying this, she's my sister,' he told himself, not surprised that it didn't really have any emotional weight, mostly because she hadn't been his sister yesterday but also because he was really enjoying the show. He could almost hear Vernon calling him a freak. 'Screw it, I had a decade and change with the Dursleys, I'm not complaining when my life gets better.'

Hermione couldn't help the blush as she pictured herself in Dawn's place, something that was remarkably easy considering she just had to swap the green hair for her red hair. 'Yeah, you're losing your marbles, doesn't mean she's not cute.'

'Yep, Buffy is going to murder us when we get back,' Xander thought as Willow wiggled in his lap. 'Screw it, we're never telling her about this part. Is it bad that I wish we had a naughty version of Joyce running around? Yeah, probably shouldn't admit that.'

'Shut up!' Willow thought as she locked the door on her other father's voice that was ranting about dens of sin in the back of her head and watched the show, looking forward to putting her fears to rest and enjoying herself.

Hermione glanced at Harry's crotch, feeling strangely satisfied about his reaction, mostly because Dawn was her identical twin. 'To hell with it, what happens in crazy land, stays in crazy land.' She gestured towards Dawn's shirt when Harry glanced at her.

Harry carefully moved closer to Dawn, trying not to give away his position by making noise and finding it easier than he'd been expecting to move across the floor like a ghost. 'Just a little bit more.' He carefully reached out, keeping his hand out of the light so that he didn't cast a shadow over Dawn's eyes and waited for the numbers to increase to something reasonable as they were currently fluctuating. He quickly and carefully stole her shirt when the numbers jumped to forty seven percent, freeing her breasts and giving him a really nice view of his sister.

'I need a chart to figure out exactly how related we are,' Taylor told herself, not seeing a problem with having some fun, thanks to her local self’s memories. "So is the invitation to play with your breasts still open?"

Dawn blinked a couple of times when she realized she couldn't feel her shirt. "Of course, pinch them, lick them or suck them."

"I can't see Hermione doing…" Harry trailed off as Hermione gave him a look then knelt down and licked her twin's nipple like an ice cream cone. 'Maybe I'm dead and I'm in heaven? Way too perverted for heaven. Hell? Nah, the Dursleys would have already burst in.'

Dawn smiled up at Harry. "If you're not going to tongue fuck me, steal Willow's clothes so she can tongue fuck me like a good little witch."

Willow grinned as she jumped to her feet. "I'm a good witch, work your magic."

'They're all crazy,' Harry thought with a libidinous leer as he walked over to strip Willow, having less reservations about stripping Sirius' daughter than he had stripping his own sister.

'Yeah, it's the festival, just go with it,' Taylor thought as she reached out and played with the closer of Dawn's two nipples as she watched Harry strip Willow. 'Just like riding a bike, you never really forget.'

0o0o0

"I wish you'd babysat me like that," Willow purred as she watched Dawn slide up and down on Xander's shaft as Xander used his tongue to great effect on her bits.

"That's because you're a naughty girl," Dawn teased as she used the hand that wasn't holding the back of the couch and her cards to play with her breasts, grinning at Willow and watching Hermione slide up and down on Harry while he did his best to give Taylor a good time with his tongue while she played with Hermione's breasts.

Willow reached out and lightly pinched Dawn's nipples. "Can I tie you up and fuck you like a dungeon girl?"

"Go fish," Dawn replied cheerfully as she slowly pushed herself down on Xander. "Can I talk you into pretending to be a lost pizza delivery girl?"

"Fuck," Willow complained as she tossed the card she'd just drawn into Dawn's pile of cards.

"Sweet, do you want to be the pizza delivery girl or the girl that has to strip because her boyfriend is too cheap to pay for the pizza?" Dawn asked as she dropped her card on her pile then went back to sliding up and down Xander's shaft.

Willow shivered as Xander wiggled his tongue, causing her to lose her train of thought.

Taylor laughed as the timer on the table ran out of sand. "And you're out of time."

"Damn it, it's your turn," Willow complained.

"Can you dress like a teddy bear?" Hermione blurted out the weirdest thing on the cards she'd drawn.

"Fuck me, stuff me and suck me," Taylor replied, reading off the counterpart of Hermione's card then tossed it on Hermione's pile of cards.

"Mr Plum in the library, with the inflatable rabbit girl?" Hermione asked then shivered when she felt Harry erupt inside of her.

“Miss Scarlet using the candlestick on the pool table," Taylor replied as she tossed her card on Hermione's pile. "What else do you have?"

"Someone is seriously deranged," Hermione grumbled then read her last card. "Fuck me like a naughty house elf."

"Go fish," Taylor replied as Hermione slipped off Harry and sprawled on her back. "Are you up for more Harry?"

"The mind is willing but the body is weak," Harry admitted, fairly sure his jaw needed a break.

"Shift, I'll see if I can push Hermione over," Taylor offered, not sure if Hermione would take the offer.

"Please," Hermione said as she spread her knees, giving Taylor the chance to lean over and start cleaning up the mess while Harry shifted around and knelt down next to Hermione so he could play with her breasts.

Dawn grinned when Xander finally lost it. "And match!"

'Yeah, I'm never going back,' Harry thought to himself as he watched the girls, trying not to look at Xander.

"You're a dirty girl, let me clean you up," Willow teased as she shifted around so that she could tongue fuck Dawn.

Dawn slipped off of Xander, sprawled on the couch and started playing with her nipples, trying to push herself over the edge while her twin did the same.