Harry Potter and the Magic of Books Part 12 (Patreon)

Lily sat up and looked around the graveyard. “You have some explaining to do Sirius.”

James coughed as he pulled himself out of his coffin. “I need a shower, this coffin is worse than that one time we hexed Snivellus with that explosive diarrhea curse Lily found.”

“James?” Sirius felt his tears coming down his eyes. He hadn’t really let himself believe that he’d see his friends again this side of Death’s door.

James snorted as he glanced around. “I’d make a joke about zombies but I need a shower way too much.”

Lily had to agree about the shower bit. “Sirius Orion Black, what type of dark magic did you use to drag us back to the land of the living?”

Sirius gulped then pointed at Harry. “Harry did it.”

“Hey, it was your idea,” Harry replied quickly.

Lily glanced back and forth between Sirius and Harry then over at Hermione and Sarah. “In that case, I guess I’ll forgive you. Who are the two lovely ladies?”

Harry gestured toward Hermione then Sarah. “Hermione Granger and Sarah.”

Sirius supplied helpfully, “His girlfriends.”

“I’m not sure that’s helpful,” Harry replied nervously.

“Was I supposed to be?” Sirius smirked.

James raised an eyebrow. “You have two girlfriends?”

Sarah snickered. “He’s awesome and she’s adorable.”

Hermione gave Harry a one armed hug. “He’s my best friend.”

“That’s the best way to start a relationship.” Lily glanced down at her dress with a look of distaste. “Okay, the rest of this can wait until we’ve had a shower and a change of clothes.”

Sirius muttered, “There might be a bit of a problem returning home.”

James sighed. “We know, the place is wrecked.”

“You know?”

“Halloween is a holiday for the dead, one where we stop running around having adventures and sit around and watch the living.”

Harry winced. “You’re not mad that we brought you back are you?”

Lily shook her head. “Of course not, we had a choice, we could have said no. Death said to go have some fun and live it up for a while so here we are.”

Hermione blinked in surprise. “Death said that?”

“Death isn’t what most people think of her as, she’s not a jailor, she doesn’t care if people avoid death, well for the most part. She’s a lover, a friend and most importantly a guide depending on what she needs to be.”

“She’s also rather cute,” James admitted.

Lily smiled as she playfully shook her finger at James. “I don’t need a wand to hex you.”

“I’ll behave, at least for a while.”

Hermione spoke up, “We still have the Leaky Cauldron room rented for a couple of hours and Harry can grab some clothes for them while they get cleaned up.”

James glanced at Lily. “What do you think?”

“I think a shower sounds great. Once we’re done with that, Sirius can tell me how the hell Harry ended up with the Dursleys. I just got bits and pieces of things on Halloween but what I saw was bad enough. I’m going to have words with my sister.” Lily felt like hexing her sister until she resembled the monster within.

“It’s a bit of a long story…” Sirius wasn’t looking forward to explaining how things had gone so very wrong.

Lily snorted. “You’ll have plenty of time to explain things while we’re fixing the cottage.”

Sarah gestured toward the coffins and used a touch of magic to flip the lids closed. Let’s put these back where they’re supposed to go.” She lowered her hands toward the ground as she used her magic to sink the the coffins back to where they were supposed to be. “There.”

Hermione said, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say nothing happened here for years.”

Lily asked, “Speaking of, any ideas what we’re going to tell people?”

Harry laughed. “I’ve got several ideas.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Lily felt almost human again after her very long and hot shower and a couple of dozen spells to deal with her wild hair, dirty teeth and overgrown nails. She wasn’t sure what to think of the red silk panties and silk pajamas that Hermione had given her to wear but they were lots better than the dress she’d been buried in. She stepped out of the bathroom into the hotel room where James was entertaining Harry, Hermione and Sarah with stories of their time at Hogwarts. “Shower’s free.”

James turned to look at Lily, “You look lovely. I’d kiss you but I stink.”

“Yes you do. There are clothes on the counter for you dear.” Lily gestured toward the bathroom. “Go, get clean.”

“I guess we’ll finish the story latter.” James blew Lily a kiss before he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

Lily turned her attention to Sirius. “What the hell happened?”

“Peter sold you out, I went after him in a blind rage and he got the drop on me, it was stupid and insane, almost as stupid as not having your wands on you while in hiding.”

Hermione asked, “Why not just be your own secret keeper?”

“Ah, if it was just the house then we could have, we should have done it that way.” Lily sighed. “It was an example of us being too smart for our own good, we figured it was better to just hide ourselves. Looking back at it, I’m not sure what we were thinking.”

Sirius said, “After that I went to prison without a trial and Harry was stuck with the Dursleys who spent the next ten years trying to beat the magic out of me.”

Lily stepped forward and pulled Harry into a hug. “I don’t care if she’s my sister, I’m going to kill her and her whale of a husband.”

Harry hugged his mother back. “Thanks for the thought but I’ve got a better idea.”

“Oh?” Lily let him go as she looked at his dazzling green eyes.

“I’m going to trap them in a book.”

“What do you mean?” Lily asked curiously.

“I mean I can reach into books with magic.”

Sirius piped up, “Which means he can stick them on a hellish Gillian's Island.”

Lily looked over at Sirius. “Did you put him up to this?”

Sirius pouted. “Ye of little faith, he’s the one that pulled resurrection scrolls out of a book. How else do you think you’re here.”

“A new discovery? I wasn’t sure. Speaking of using magic to bring us back from the dead, are there any side effects we should be aware of?”

“Not with the version of the spell we used.”

Harry said, “That was certainly a consideration and why we went with the more expensive version of the scrolls. Speaking of, I’d rather not have to hide for the rest of my life so we probably shouldn’t tell anyone that you’re both back from the dead.”

Lily raised her eyebrows. “If you think I’m just going to hide away again, you’re sadly mistaken young man.”

Sirius piped up, “It just requires you to become a thirteen year old girl again.”

“Right, okay, let’s hear the insanity.” Lily looked down her nose at Sirius.

“Well, we’ve got a magical artifact that can reduce a person’s age to thirteen. You stay the same age even after you’ve taken the bracelet off. Thus, poof you’re the daughter that no one knew you had.”

Lily rubbed her face. “That’s insane and even if I was willing to do it, no one is that stupid.”

Sirius smirked. “We live in the wizarding world. Common sense isn’t that common.”

“Okay, what about James, as much fun as turning him into a girl would be, I don’t think he’d want to stay that way,” Lily replied with amusement.

Sarah piped up, “That’s what the ‘cursed’ belt of gender swapping is for.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Remind me again how come you boys were never expelled?”

Sirius smirked. “Because we had Remus, oh right, him… we should probably grab him and tell him you’re back.”

Lily asked, “How long have you been out of prison?”

“A couple of days, there was the trial then the whorehouse…” Sirius trailed off as he realized what he just said. “Can we forgot I said that?”

“No, are you corrupting my son?” Lily asked suspiciously.

“He’s the one that brought me there.”

Lily blinked. “Explain that again?”

Harry pipped up, “It’s a temple of healing, they used magic to heal the damage the prison left on his mind and body.”

“So there weren’t girls?”

Sarah piped up, “Oh no, there were plenty, it’s a temple to the goddess of sex on that world.”

Sirius mock pouted. “He’s corrupting me.”

“Are you corrupting…” Lily shook her head. “Yeah, just no, it doesn’t work that way Sirius even if it does. You’re supposed to be the responsible one.”

“Since when have I ever been accused of being responsible?”

James walked out of the bathroom wearing slacks and a silk shirt. ”That would have been Remus’s job. Speaking of, do you have any idea where he is?”

“That was on the list,” Sirius replied.

Hermione said, “We’ve got a magic mirror that should let us know where he is.”

Sirius blinked in surprise, “You have a magic mirror that can find people and this is the first I’m hearing about it?”

“I was going to mention it eventually.” Hermione pulled the mirror out of her bag and handed it to Sirius. “Just say the person’s name.”

“Remus.” Sirius looked into the mirror and saw a shabbily dressed man curled up in a basement with a threadbare blanket pulled over him. “When is the full moon?”

Sarah said, “Tonight.”

James sighed. “Damn, I don’t suppose you have a cure for being a werewolf in your box of tricks?”

Harry smiled. “Maybe. If we put the Loliblade on him before the full moon that should keep him human, more or less at least.”

“Loliblade?” James asked curiously.

“The artifact that turns its user into a thirteen year old girl and gives them armor while they’re wearing it. It should be able to keep Remus from being a wolf or at least that’s the idea.”

James smirked. “Let me get this straight, you’re going to permanently turn him into a girl to cure his lycanthropy even though you’re not sure it will actually work? Does that about sum it up?”

“The other option is the temple but this way is more amusing.” Sirius grinned.

Lily shook her head. “Boys.”

Sarah piped up, “I’m sorry but Lily and James need new identities. If we tell people that Remus was watching over Harry’s sister, Lilyanne Potter until Harry started school then we have an ironclad reason she wasn’t seen or known about before now. If Remus wants to get a new identity then “Remus” died from complications and the newly released Sirius Black took everyone in.”

James asked, “And what about me? If you make Lily a Potter...”

“You’re obviously a second or maybe even third cousin,” Harry suggested.

Sirius piped up, “Or if you really want to horrify people, you can be twins, obviously not identical.”

James paused as he considered the situation they were in then smirked. “Okay, twins it is.”

Lily shook her head. “Cousins, second or third or I’ll look for a new girlfriend.”

Hermione asked, “Just like that? You’re going to do it?”

James laughed. “Just think of the trouble we can cause as third years.”

Lily shook her head. “This would be better if you could pass as Harry’s twin.”

Sarah laughed. “Actually, we’ve got a shapeshifting spell book and some youth potions, pulling off eleven shouldn’t be a big deal.”

Lily said, “We should probably collect Remus before we turn ourselves into eleven year olds or he’ll never believe us.”

Sirius smirked as he looked down at the mirror one last time. “This is going to be fun.” He handed Harry the mirror back then apparated to where Remus was.

Lily shook her head. “This can’t end well.”

James looked at the mirror. “Let me see that a minute, I want to know where Peter is.”

Harry handed James the mirror.

“Peter Pettigrew.” James wasn’t all that surprised to see his ‘ex-friend’ in rat form in what was obviously a magical house. Sadly other than the red haired youth, there weren’t any details that stood out that would let him find him and he didn’t want to try apparating into an unknown wizard’s house through whatever wards might be there. “At least we know he’s alive.”

Lily looked at Harry, “I want to hear more about your ability with books and what you’re planning on doing to the Dursleys. Mostly because I want the last thing my sister sees in this world to be me.”

“It started…” Harry went on to explain his abilities and got them up to speed, or at least as up to speed as the Grangers were, which is to say, he didn’t mention anything about having sex with Hermione or Sarah or anything overly suspect.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Remus stared at Lily and James in shock. When Sirius had told him there was something he had to see this wasn’t what he’d been expecting. He was just glad that he’s heard that Sirius wasn’t guilty from McGonagall otherwise things might have gotten interesting. “How?”

Lily said as ‘innocently’ as she could which wasn’t very, “Magic.”

James said, “Harry brought us back.”

Remus turned to stare at Harry. “How?”

“Scrolls of resurrection form a different world.”

“How do I know this isn’t some horrible trick?”

“I’ll show you Prongs.” James shifted into his stag form.

Remus felt tears coming down his face. “It’s real, they’re real…”

Sirius snorted. “I’m a prankster, I’m not an arse Moony, I wouldn’t joke about this.”

James turned back to his human form. “Enough proof?”

“Yes… now what?”

Sarah asked, “How would you like to be cured of your lycanthropy?”

Remus turned and stared at Sarah. “That’s not possible.”

“Bringing back the dead shouldn’t be possible either,” Lily replied.

“But here we are.” James grinned at Remus.

“What would I have to do?” Remus looked at Sarah.

“You basically wear a magical artifact and when the change comes you’ll hopefully remain a human. If that doesn’t work, we’ll visit a magical temple that can cure curses. If that doesn’t work then I know of a world that has a cure but it’s an annoying quest line.”

Lily spoke up, “You should tell him about the side effects.”

“Side effects?” Remus asked.

“The artifact will turn you into a thirteen year old girl.”

“Are you s-” Remus glanced at Sirius, “joking?”

Harry said, “We have another magical item that can flip your gender so you won’t be stuck as a girl.”

“Just thirteen?” Remus asked.

Sirius smirked. “I was thinking eleven actually. We take a couple of youth potions that knock off a year each then we start Hogwarts with Harry and Hermione. One of the books they have should let us learn to shapechange which means that we’ll be able to look like our adult selves if we want to.”

“You actually want to go back to school?” Remus asked in disbelief.

“I had a lot of fun there, mostly because it wasn’t home and I had you guys.” Sirius rubbed his hands together. “Just think about the chaos we’ll be able to cause.”

Remus laughed as he pictured Snape’s face when he saw them. ”Okay.”

Lily raised her eyebrows. “Okay?”

“You and James are going to need alternate identities. Besides, I wasn’t around for Harry for the last ten years, maybe this will help make up for that glaring oversight.”

Lily asked, “Why weren’t you around?”

“I was pretty messed up after your deaths and Sirius was tossed in jail. Living with a werewolf is no place for a child. Besides, Dumbledore assured me that he’d be safe so I went wandering.”

Harry snorted. “I wouldn’t call living with the Dursleys safe.”

Remus’s eyes widened. “He didn’t!”

“My aunt used to rant about how I was left on her doorstep in the middle of the night. I’m not sure if that’s true as she also told me that my parents were drunks but for all I know it might be.”

Lily said, “We’ve got a couple of hours until you change which means that we have enough time to deal with the Dursleys then get to a safe location for your change in case Harry’s plan has complications.”

Remus asked, “What are you going to do to your sister?”

“Get some answers.” Lily stated grimly.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Petunia Dursley opened the door then stared in shock at the group standing on the front porch. “You’re dead! They told me you were dead!”

Lily snorted. “You hit my son. You let your whale of a husband hit my son and his idiot cousin chase him like a wild animal.”

“I didn’t want him to be like you!” Petunia turned her glare on Harry. “Freak.”

Lily sighed as she looked at her hate filled sister. “There was a time when you wanted magic Petunia. What the hell happened?”

“Mum and Dad always took your side. They were so proud of you and your freakish ways. I just wanted, they didn’t see me… it was always Lily this and Lily that then you went away-”

Vernon called out, “Who is at the door?”

James smiled grimly before calling out, “A bunch of wizards!”

Vernon stalked to the door. “Now see here! I won’t have any of that freakishness in my house.”

Sirius flicked his wand and stunned the large oaf. “None of that.”

Petunia stared in horror at Sirius. “What did you do?”

“I just knocked him out before he said something I’d have to kill him for.”

Petunia gulped. “What are you going to do?”

Lily said, “We’re going to come inside and you’re going to answer a few questions for me. After that, we’ll see.”

“And if I don’t invite you in?”

“I wasn’t asking, move.” Lily glared at her sister, half hoping she’d give her a reason to do something drastic.

Petunia sighed in defeat as she stepped back so that Lily and the others could enter the house.

Lily stepped inside the overly neat house. “You’re going to start with the night my son ended up here and then explain what the hell you were thinking.”

Petunia glanced at Vernon then walked into the living room. “It started when we found him in a basket on our doorstep wrapped in a curiously warm blanket.”

“He was left on your doorstep?”

“By Albus Dumbledore, he left a letter explaining that if we took him, he could set up wards that would keep us safe from witches and wizards, that we wouldn’t have to see any until the boy started Hogwarts. I’d hoped if he didn’t start Hogwarts that we wouldn’t have to ever deal with any freaks.”

Harry glared at Petunia. “Why didn’t you just refuse to take me?”

“Because you were all I had left of Lily.”

“Then why were you such a bitch?” Harry demanded.

“Because I hate her... and love her and she was my little sister.” Petunia glared at Lily. “Then you ran off to that school and left me alone. You’d come back with frog spawn and weirder things and by the time you caught back up with current events and fashions you’d leave again and I was left remembering that I had no magic, nothing. You weren’t there, all they talked about was your magic, your stupid school. The school I had no place in! I wanted to fix that, maybe...” Petunia threw up her hands. “I shouldn’t have taken him. I knew I shouldn’t have. I was so angry and Vernon didn’t like anything weird or out of the ordinary. I tried to stand up for you when the accidental magic started but he said he’d have none of it under his roof and I could leave if I was going to put up with it. For what it’s worth I’m sorry…”

Harry sighed as he realized that he actually felt sorry for his aunt. ‘Well fuck, tossing them to the same cursed island just seems needlessly cruel.’ Harry asked, “Do you still have the letter that Dumbledore left me with?”

“I have it and the other letters he sent over the years trying to check up on you. What happens now?”

Lily said, “You’re going to take a trip somewhere you’ll never bother me again. You’re also going to update your will leaving the house to Harry.”

“What about Dudley?”

Harry said, “That depends on how honest you are Petunia. If you answer the rest of our questions we’ll merely send him to a military boot camp for troubled boys. If you’re not helpful then I’ll send him to hell. He’s tormented me for as long as I can remember. I don’t care if he lives or dies or makes something of his life. Either way, he’s going to do it far away from me. Where is he? I have a couple of questions for him about his gang.”

Petunia glanced toward the stairs. “He’s out.”

Sarah smirked as she headed toward the stairs. “I’ll get him. I’ve got some questions for him.”

“Please don’t hurt him.” Petunia begged.

Lily glared at her sister. “I’m not you Petunia. Now start explaining.”

Words started pouring from Petunia’s mouth, good times and bad, her twisted side of the story.

Harry half listened to his aunt’s story as he walked over to where Vernon was sprawled on the floor unconscious. It felt strange looking at the man that had caused him years of grief and fear. Part of him wanted to kick the fat man in the ribs and head until he was sure he was dead. A small part that he ignored whispered that it wasn’t right to sink to Vernon’s level. While that was true there was a difference between not turning into a monster and continually turning the other cheek while someone beat you to death. Mostly though it was the realization that death was a release that stayed his hand. He wanted Vernon to suffer, to live out the rest of his life in a living hell, not have a few moments of pain then get to lounge around in an afterlife being a monster. “I can’t believe I was too scared of this tub of lard to go to the police or leave before I found my magic.”

Hermione walked over and hugged him from behind. “He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I know, that doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t stop him, that I didn’t stick rat poison in his food, that I didn’t strangle him in his sleep or blow his brains out or any of a hundred other paths I could have taken. Just going to the police would have helped.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I tried to tell various teachers and the nurse at school. But they only rarely hit me, so it was just kids playing around or that’s what one particularly annoying teacher said.”

“You’re safe now.” Hermione rested her chin on Harry’s shoulder.

“I know.” Harry glared at Vernon. “I was going to drop him on a magical version of Gilligan’s Island for criminals but that was before I learned that he was going to kick my aunt out on the street for trying to be a decent human being.”

Hermione asked, “What are you going to do with him?”

“I’m going to let Mum finish talking to Petunia then I’m going to have someone memory charm Petunia so that she forgets about the Dursleys and the last decade and change. Then we’re going to test the Loliblade on her and send her into a book where she can learn magic.”

“Why?”

“Because it wasn’t fair that she couldn’t learn magic. Maybe she still would have ended up a terrible person if she’d gone off to Hogwarts with Mum but she might not have. Either way, she’s family and I can give her a second chance.”

“You’re the most kind hearted person I know Harry.” Hermione gave him a soft squeeze on his arm.

“You say that now.” Harry smiled grimly as he pulled out one the tentacle rape hentai books that Sarah seemed to find amusing for some reason he couldn’t understand out. “I’m going to send him into Bubba’s cell.”

Hermione shivered slightly as she looked at the gore filled picture book. She whispered, “Wasn’t Bubba the tentacle demon that was tossed into the magical jail for buggering everyone in the Vatican to death?”

“That’s the one.” Harry replied happily as he reached out and hauled Vernon and himself into the book.