Reluctant Villainy Part 23 (Patreon)

Uber pulled 'his' attention away from the suspiciously familiar starting town and glanced at the  tall, naked and athletic blue haired girl that was lifting her heels and dropping them so that her breasts bounced. "You're having way too much fun with that."

"Probably," Leet admitted with a grin. "Any idea how we're going to get enough cash to grab some basic gear?"

Uber glanced at the jeweled dagger Leet was holding. "We could always kill some monsters or dance around the fountain in town for tips."

"What the fuck?" Leet sputtered when he noticed someone flying down the path, riding a sword like a hoverboard.

Uber turned and looked at the man in ornate robes heading their way. "Where did you get the sword?"

The man stopped ten feet in front of the girls. "Why are you dressed like harlots?"

"We got mugged, can you spare some extra clothes or coins?" Uber asked, figuring it wouldn't hurt to ask.

"No, now get out of my way," the man said as he flew towards the town, forcing Leet to jump backwards to avoid being cut by his sword.

Leet gestured and chanted a 'familiar' word, conjuring an ice wall right in front of the man and causing him to crash into it. "Asshole."

Uber glanced between the large wall of ice and the unconscious man sprawled on the ground. "Since when could you conjure walls of ice?"

"Since I picked up cryokinesis but this was a lot easier and the words were just floating in my mind…" Leet trailed off as he realized that he knew dozens of spells. "Huh, I think we got our character's skills."

"Skills?" Uber asked hopefully then grinned when a list of his rather extensive collection of skills appeared in a floating window. "Sweet! I've got an interface and a skill list."

"Skills!" Leet commanded and grinned when a list of skills appeared that looked to be a combination of his skills and his character's skills. "Enchanting menu?" he grinned when a familiar enchanting menu appeared in front of him. "Sarah is going to flip when we get back."

"No shit," Uber agreed as he quickly looked through his skills until he found his character's cheat skill. "Holy shit! I still have my cheat skill!"

Leet stared at Uber. "The one you got for beating the shit out of the asshole that was harassing the developer's sister?"

"Yep," Uber replied smugly.

"Sweet. Any idea how we're supposed to find the rest of the gang?" Leet asked as he walked over to the magic sword embedded in the ice wall and started examining it, trying to identify the sword's various properties.

"Maybe," Uber mused as he focused on his contact list. "Contact list?" he asked, not sure it would actually work. His grin turned into a frown when his contact list appeared and he realized he only had two names on his contact list. "So much for getting the guild to help."

"No dice?" Leet asked as he worked on disenchanting the flying sword so he could copy the enchantment and break the soul bond.

Uber tapped the message icon next to Dark Light's name, causing the icon to light up. "Nah, the only one on the list other than Mystic Tinker is Dark Light and Mystic is a bastard."

Sarah jumped and spun around when she heard Uber's voice whispering in her ear, nearly knocking her mirror over when she accidentally hit it. "What the hell!"

Leet ignored Uber's 'joke' as he worked on unraveling the tangled mess of glowing threads that made up the sword's enchantment so he could figure out how to reproduce it, doing his best to combine his practice in the game with his 'memories'.

Uber grinned when he heard Sarah's reply. "Eric and I got stuck as our Mystic World characters, you're the only other person on our contact list, did you get sucked into the game?"

"No but a couple of idiots summoned me to a cave to kill my Dad," Sarah replied as she headed to the living room to tell her mother that Nick and Eric needed help.

Uber snorted as he walked over and started stripping the unconscious idiot's clothes and gear. "That sounds like a Darwin award."

"Yeah, the idiots weren't even going to pay me for it," Sarah complained.

Mione turned to look at her daughter as she walked into the kitchen. "What's up?"

"Nick and Eric ended up stuck as their Mystic World characters, can you check to make sure they're not rotting in a VR unit?" Sarah asked.

"Sure," Mione replied as she used her Projection ability to scry on Uber and Leet, trying to get an idea where they were. "They weren't joking about getting turned into their characters…" she trailed off as her power gave her the exact distance and direction. "I think my power's broken, there's no way they're fifty thousand miles away unless we're floating in space."

"Or the world is larger than Earth," Sarah pointed out.

Mione focused on the planet they were on and used Projection to create a floating beach ball sized globe with glowing pins for their locations. "Okay, if I'm reading this correctly, they should be in England and we're somewhere in Kazakhstan."

"Looks like the Demon Wastes," Sarah said, thinking about the game map. "It's south of the untamed wilds and has most of the end game content unless you want to hunt vampires."

Uber pulled his attention away from his skill list. "You're stuck in the demon waste?"

"Maybe?" Sarah offered as she studied the map. "The school got moved to a flying island, we're still trying to figure out what's going on. Do you need a lift?"

"No worries, I was just checking in," Uber assured her as he caught the robe Leet tossed him. "I'll let you know if we need a lift after we're done checking out the starting town."

"Sounds good," Sarah agreed. "Anything else?"

"Nope, stay safe," Uber replied then dropped the call.

Sarah sighed. "So much for tagging along on an adventure."

Mione shook her head. "Not a chance, you're not going anywhere until you pick up some combat powers."

"Which ones?" Sarah asked, always happy to pick up more magic.

"All of them," Mione replied with a grin that quickly turned into a smile when Ella and Bella orbed into the living room in their birthday suits.

"Yes!" Sarah bounced forward and hugged her mother.

"What are we celebrating?" Bella asked as they walked into the kitchen, glad that Myst had given her a heads up about Sarah being a teenager.

Sarah let go of her mother and turned to look at her 'cousins'. "Mom said I could pick up some combat powers."

"You can't always run and she's responsible enough," Mione explained. "How's the school handling the changes?"

"Myst gave the students the day off so the teachers can adjust schedules and so Amy and Amelia can give everyone a physical," Bella said as she walked over to the ice chest to grab some orange juice.

"Apparently, some of the locals aren't in the best health," Ella said as she used telekinesis to grab some glasses off the shelf and float them over to the table.

Sarah nodded. "Makes sense considering the amount the temples charge for healing in the game and the general state of the world."

"Assuming the game is actually close to reality, do you remember anything particularly noteworthy from the game that we need to collect or worry about?" Mione asked as she grabbed a stack of plates from the shelf.

"The flying ships that connect the various countries are decently fast or at least they're reasonably fast in the game," Sarah said after a couple of seconds of thought. "Some of the end game weapons had some interesting qualities." She grinned as she remembered something else that might come in handy. "One of the farms had a malfunctioning magitech weather control system that I had to fix for a quest."

"So no world bosses or nightmares wandering around destroying towns?" Mione asked, thinking of some of the Final Fantasy games that liked destroying cities or worlds.

Sarah shook her head. "Most of the really nasty things stayed in the Demon Wastes, near the bottom of the ocean or in the various dungeons scattered around the world so we're probably okay unless something causes them to wander."

"In other words, we can worry about it after dinner," Mione said as she started dishing up spaghetti for the group.

0o0o0

Myst glanced up from John's notes on the new wards as Dawn and Faith walked into his office wearing red and gold skirts and nothing else. "What's up?"

"What do you want for a decent collection of spiritual talents and the skill to skip the first couple of months of instruction?" Dawn asked, figuring it wouldn't hurt to ask.

Myst glanced between Dawn and Faith. "I'll skip the lecture about morality, ethics and about how hard work builds character, what are you offering?"

"Something naughty?" Dawn offered.

Myst raised his eyebrows. "Are you trying to get your sister to stab me?"

Dawn shook her head. "No, I'm just trying to avoid fumbling around for a couple of months or years when you could cut that down to a couple of hours or days with the snap of your fingers."

"Not to mention copying your Qi pool would save us a couple of thousand years of grinding," Faith pointed out.

Myst used his Creation power to create a large cardboard box filled with naughty costumes, ranging from fox girls to faerie princesses and superheroes. "Talk to Poppy, I'm going to want pictures."

"How many pictures?" Dawn asked with a grin as she looked through the collection of costumes.

"At least five different outfits with five pictures each but the more effort you put into the collection, the more effort I'll put into your reward," Myst promised.

"In other words, we might as well recruit some of the girls and have some fun," Dawn said, looking forward to seeing some of her friends dressed up.

"That's up to you." Myst gestured at the box. "If you want to take the easy way out and grab the basics, there are at least five mostly decent costumes in the box."

"And a bunch that aren't even close in case I want extra credit?" Dawn asked as she looked over the sheer nurse's outfit.

"Basically," Myst admitted. "Bonus points if you can get Willow to try something risque."

"What about Willow and Tara together?" Dawn asked, wondering how many bonus points she could rack up.

"That's getting close to 'name your price' territory," Myst teased, only half joking.

"Excellent," Dawn joked as she rubbed her hands together like a mad scientist.

"What do you want from me for the basics or can I skate by helping Dawn?" Faith asked, curious how much he'd charge.

"You've already earned the basics helping with camp," Myst assured her.

"Cool." Faith grinned as she looked in the box and saw a Princess Leia costume that Dawn had moved to the side. "Does Dawn get extra points if she gets a picture of Buffy in a naughty costume?"

Myst shook his head, doing his best not to laugh. "I don't think I'm supposed to answer that."

Faith smirked at Myst. "That's not a no."

"Just remember to ask permission for all of the pictures, this is supposed to be fun," Myst reminded them, reasonably sure they wouldn't get carried away but figuring it was worth reminding them.

"That's the plan," Dawn replied as she grabbed the box and headed for the door, already trying to figure out ways to get the required pictures that wouldn't cause trouble.

"Best of luck," Myst offered as the girls left, fairly sure they'd have a hell of a time getting Willow and Tara to wear something even remotely naughty. He'd barely gotten back to trying to decipher John's notes on the wards he'd set up when Hermione walked in. "Hey."

"Is there a reason Dawn and Faith rushed out of here giggling like mad?" Hermione asked as she walked over and sat down on the guest chair.

Myst set the notes down. "Dawn made a deal for basic cultivation talents and enough skill to skip the first couple of months of stumbling around in the dark."

Hermione frowned slightly as she thought about Xu Xinya's lecture on cultivation. "Makes sense, Xinya is a decent teacher but it's hard to separate the useful bits from the religious dogma."

"I've been picking up bits and pieces from the idiots attacking my duplicates for being 'demonspawn' but everyone's soul works a bit differently," Myst admitted. "Not to mention, my Qi flows like a liquid and I don't have a spiritual rock in my stomach to hang some of the techniques on."

"Probably for the best considering the number of techniques that target a crystallized dantian," Hermione said, thinking about Mei's lecture about the basic dangers of cultivation. "Wait, if you can't just snap your fingers and give people god-like skills, how are you giving Dawn enough to get her started?"

"Technically speaking, the basics are useful to everyone, you're basically just searching for your connection to your soul and clearing meridians. I'm also going to cheat and open a portal to an alternate future where Dawn worked her ass off so I can copy her counterpart's skills," Myst explained with a grin.

Hermione shook her head. "That's not remotely fair to the other Dawn."

"Life isn't fair and Dawn accepts bribes," Myst replied with a grin.

"Which means her counterpart shouldn't have a problem helping a younger version get a leg up," Hermione admitted. "Can you check a couple of alternate futures to see if practicing is worth the time sink?"

"Sure," Myst replied as he used his Clairvoyance to look at alternate futures, trying to find one where Hermione picked up a solid cultivation base without going insane. "Yeah, taking a knife to your soul for power and turning yourself into a spirit seems worse than pointless when you can just open a portal and step through to the spirit realm."

"Are you talking about carving your path?" Hermione asked, making a mental note to grab a couple of books on the subject so she could read ahead. "That's not supposed to be literal."

"I can see the glowing scars on your counterpart's soul where she carved her code into her soul so she could continue advancing. I'd rather kill an army of lunatics and religious fanatics to build my Qi pool than mangle my soul or chain myself like a robot," Myst explained.

"Some people would argue that killing people mangles your soul," Hermione pointed out.

Myst briefly considered a couple of different arguments before going with the truth, "I'm fairly sure that allowing the lunatics and monsters to continue killing people when I have power to stop them would do more damage to my soul and mental health than killing a bunch of irredeemable monsters that happen to be human."

"Point," Hermione admitted, thinking about Voldemort and his Death Eaters.

Myst smiled when he found a version of Hermione that had played with cultivation enough to learn some of the local alchemy and refining tricks before giving up on 'advancing' her cultivation as wasted effort. "Okay, I found an alternate timeline that might work, do you want to make a trade or do you want to borrow my slot machine power for a couple of minutes so you can try to cobble something together?"

"Let's start with talking to my counterpart, they probably have a better idea what to avoid and if they didn't use the slot machine trick, there's probably a reason," Hermione said thoughtfully after weighing her options.

"Point," Myst admitted as he opened a portal to the alternate future. "We're from an alternate past, can I talk you into sharing your cultivation skills with Hermione?"

"Of course," the older Hermione replied with a smile, wishing someone had helped her when she was just getting started. "I mostly focused on alchemy and refining but I learned the basics."

Hermione studied the ornate robes her counterpart was wearing. "Is there a reason you didn't talk Myst into letting you use his slot machine power to pick up god-like skill?"

The older Hermione shook her head. "Knowledge alone doesn't help, most of the higher tier techniques require years or centuries of tempering your body and condensing your Qi to work, something which is nearly impossible when you have oceans worth of Qi."

"In other words, you locked yourself out of the higher realms?" Hermione asked.

"I don't have any regrets, I was never going to spend centuries or millennia sitting in a cave meditating and some of the alchemy tricks are hard to replicate with magic," the older Hermione explained as she gave Hermione a copy of her skill with alchemy, refining and basic cultivation.

Hermione blinked a couple of times then smiled at her counterpart when she realized she had a much better idea of how the local magic worked. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Best of luck and a word of warning, you're going to want to move the island out of the demon wastes or improve the wards if you don't want to lose the school and your ability to sleep at night," the older Hermione warned them.

"World boss?" Myst asked, not sure what else could damage the island enough that they'd lose the school.

"No, one of the sects figured out one of Myst's tricks and launched a surprise attack in an attempt to capture the school and various people to use as leverage," she explained with a shiver, remembering the timeline where Myst had lost his shit because of the Heaven sect's insanity before he'd calmed down enough to open a portal through time and fix things.

Myst dropped his Clairvoyance when he caught an image of his counterpart obliterating half of the planet before ripping a massive gate open into the spiritual realm and using the moon as a kinetic kill weapon. 'What the fuck did you do?' he asked himself, fairly sure he didn't actually want to know what would have pushed him to obliterate a planet filled with people. "I'll make sure we move the island and upgrade the wards."

"Good, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get drunk," the older Hermione grumbled as she conjured a bottle.

"Sorry." Myst closed the portal and took a breath then slowly let it out and tried to calm down.

"Any idea what happened?" Hermione asked warily.

"Not a clue but I'm going to file it under a botched attack and improve the defenses so we don't have to worry about it," Myst replied, making a mental note to chalk it up to infinite worlds and possibilities and to not worry about it beyond making sure he shored up the defenses.

"We should probably talk to Lily about using the fidelius," Hermione suggested, figuring that would keep people from finding it or at least help.

"Couldn't hurt," Myst agreed as he stood up and headed for the door, figuring the sooner he upgraded the wards, the sooner he'd stop worrying about the various sects.