Harry Potter and the Magic of Books Part 3 (Patreon)

Harry woke up feeling rested and ready to take on the world. He whispered, “Are you awake?”

Sarah giggled as she sat up. “Yep.”

Harry yawned. “I’m awake, should we see if we can find anything interesting to jump into for a bit of adventure?”

Sarah giggled as she stood up and summoned her broom. “That sounds good to me.” She flew over to the table so that Harry could crawl, or rather fall, out of the hammock.

Harry grumbled as he ended up on the floor. “That could have gone better.”

Sarah snickered. “You’ll get used to it.”

Harry stood up, glared at the hammock then walked over and picked up his sword. “Any suggestions for where we go next?”

“I saw a naughty Adventures of Zelda book in the shop that might be fun to check out.”

“Zelda? That’s Link’s princess? A couple of people at school mentioned it but Vernon wouldn’t get it for Dudley, probably because it has magic in it.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Idiots and yes that’s the one. There are some interesting magical items in that world that we can probably grab if we’re careful.”

“Like what?”

“A magical sword that shoots energy, heart pieces that make you tougher, a magic wand that you can use to shoot energy, potions that heal you and a power bracelet that makes you strong enough to move boulders.”

“That actually sounds rather interesting and useful,” Harry replied as he put his sword back in its sheath.

“Yep and the best part is we can probably grab a game guide to use as a map.” Sarah smirked at Harry’s look of surprise.

“That’s cheating…” Harry trailed off as he realized that grabbing a game guide was probably a really good idea.

“If you’re not cheating, you’re just not trying hard enough,” Sarah said cheerfully but firmly.

“I’m not sure that’s how things are supposed to work, but we’ll try it your way.” Harry made sure that his ring was on his finger then he checked to make sure they hadn’t left anything. “Okay, ready to head back?”

Sarah recast her notice me not charm. “Yep.”

Harry focused and returned them to the bookstore. He glanced around and realized that it was still dark in the store. “Okay, what the heck?” He glanced at his watch. “We only spent like twenty minutes in there.”

Sarah frowned. “Maybe sleeping is like a video game, it’s all done instantly?”

“Maybe, because time passed in the other book normally enough while we were awake. Where was that naughty Zelda book?”

Sarah flew over and pointed to the book. “Right here.”

Harry walked over and picked up the book. “Okay, let’s grab a game manual and get started killing monsters.” He walked over to the kidfriendly part of the store and searched around until he found a guide for Link that explained where to find everything and tricks for farming gems. “Okay, let’s go have some fun.”

Sarah giggled. “Yep!”

Harry set the naughty version of the book on the table then focused and brought himself and Sarah into the book. He looked around the dirt covered area they found themselves in that was surrounded by cliffs. “Okay, do we need to enter the cave or do we take one of the three paths?”

Sarah flew over to hover by Harry. “You’re the one with the game guide.”

Harry opened up the game guide and flipped through it until he found the first area. It wasn’t a perfect match but it looked close enough if you squinted and imagined looking at the area from a top down view. “The cave should contain a wizard that gives us a wooden sword. Not sure a wooden sword is all that good though.”

Sarah grinned. “Free is free.”

Harry headed into the cave cautiously just in case there was a monster in the cave. There wasn’t a monster but there also wasn’t a wizard like he’d been half expecting. “Oh.”

A naked elf girl looked up from the marshmellows she was roasting over an obviously magical fire. “Ah, you’ve come for training then? Come in, come in.”

“Training?” Harry asked hesitantly, as he walked into the cave with Sarah floating after him.

“Of course, I teach young heroes how to create wooden swords out of tree limbs with a simple spell.” The elf girl pulled her marshmallow off the fire and took a bite.

That wasn’t what Harry was expecting but learning magic sounded fun. “What do I have to do?”

The girl finished her marshmallow. “Well, to start with, you can kiss me.”

Harry looked at the cute girl elf that was slightly taller than he was. She was rather cute so kissing her wasn’t actually a problem. He walked over and kissed her on the lips tasting the marshmallow on her lips. “Like that?”

The girl smiled at Harry. “Well, I was thinking a bit lower if you know what I mean and at least a couple of times.”

“Right.” Harry knelt down and went to work making the elf girl happy, glad that his Sex Ed training included elf-specific techniques.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Harry grumbled slightly as he dodged yet another tentacle then slashed at the strange and very creepy monster until it died and transformed into a gem. “I’m starting to dislike this place.”

Sarah snickered as she flew a little closer now that Harry wasn’t fighting the strange tentacle monsters. “These things aren’t half as bad as the cute but deadly dryders.”

Harry made a face. “Girls should have legs not spider parts…”

“Just because they have six legs doesn’t mean they don’t have legs.”

“You know what I mean! Sure they’re sort of cute in the book, but not so much when you’re trying not to die!”

Sarah laughed. “At least they dropped some bombs that we can use to get another crystal heart which we’ll need so we can get the White Sword before we go into the dungeon.”

Harry sighed as he walked over and picked up the gem. “That should make sixty, which is how much the elf witch wanted in order to teach the blue flames spell. Are you sure that you can’t just teach me the spell?”

“I don’t know that particular spell and the trees seem oddly resistant to the spells I do know. At least you have your glasses so you tell where you’re supposed to burn and place bombs.”

Harry shook his head. “Can you imagine what this stupid world would be like without the glasses? We’d be randomly tossing bombs to see if they blew things up and burning down every bush in a forest on the off chance that they led somewhere.”

Sarah laughed. “Either that or we’d get bored and leave.”

“Probably,” he agreed. “We still have a few hours before the shop opens, so we might as well see how far we can get before we skip town.” Harry replied as he headed down the path at a fast walk. “Can you fly up and make sure that I’m going to correct direction?”

Sarah snickered as she flew up to scout the surrounding area. “Yep!”

Harry glanced down at his watch. “Okay, another four hours and the bookshop should be open, which means that we can just walk out the front door.”

“In that case, let’s pick up the pace.” Sarah flew back down. “Your path is clear for the next couple of areas, but I suspect they’ll fill back in soon enough.”

Harry started running, making sure to hold his sword off to the side so that if he tripped he wouldn’t impale himself. That had been a painful lesson. He wasn’t sure where all the monsters came from, but at least they dropped gems, hearts, or released captured fairies, never mind where some of the creatures had been holding the fairies. Still, despite his complaints, running around stabbing monsters was fun and gave him a lot of experience swinging a sword. Between that and Sarah’s helpful pointers, he was doing okay, not perfect but okay. He sighed in relief when he reached the Witch’s Cave without being jumped.

The elven witch looked up as Harry walked in. “I see you’ve returned. Do you have the 60 Rupees?”

Harry walked over and handed the witch sixty gems. “Here.”

“And…” she drawled out.

Harry rolled his eyes and knelt down in front of her while trying not to smirk.

Ten minutes later...

The witch smiled as she tapped Harry on the head and gave him the knowledge of how to cast the blue flames spell. “There you go.”

Sarah asked, “Can you teach me?”

“Sixty Rupees.” The witch smirked at Sarah.

“Rats.” Sarah pouted, but figured she’d just have to learn the new spell from Harry at some point.

Harry turned away from the witch and concentrated on the mental framework that sprung to mind and cast the blue flames spell at the wall. He had to work pretty hard to suppress the urge to giggle as he watched the flames crawl up the stone wall. “Thank you for teaching me.”

“You’re welcome, it was my pleasure,” she said with a wink. The witch waved as Harry and Sarah left.

Harry asked as he stepped out of the cave and looked around. “Where to next?”

“I want to bomb the boulder so we can grab the heart and then grab the sword from the cave by the waterfall. That should eat up the rest of our time tonight.” Sarah figured that would give Harry a decent head start on surviving his adventures, and adventures he would definitely have because he practically had the words ‘Boy Hero’ floating over his head as far as she could tell.

Harry asked, “What about the power bracelet?”

“It’s way up north, you have to touch a statue of a knight, he comes alive and tries to kill you. Not sure it’s worth it truthfully.”

Harry nodded. “Right, but you don’t actually have to defeat him, right? You fly in, touch him and then snag the bracelet and flee, or rather fly, like the wind.”

“Oh… okay I see what you mean, if you want to make your way up to the sword, I’ll fly up north and grab the bracelet and meet back at the starting area or where the white sword is.”

Harry pulled the guide/map out of his backpack and showed Sarah. “Here, I wouldn’t want you to get lost.”

Sarah smirked as she snapped her fingers and conjured a pixie sized copy of the map. “Okay, don’t forget rule number one, no dying.”

Harry said, “Same to you.”

Sarah flew off toward the north.

Harry looked over the map as he plotted out where he needed to go next. ‘I’ve got my thief ring that lets me climb most anywhere, but having the ladder spell would help as well. It should also let me pick locks though the locks in the dungeons might be magical. Wait, a damn second, I should just stealth around all of these damned monsters. If she asks, I’ll just say I was working on my stealth skills, yeah that works.’ He smirked as he headed on his way.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Harry wrote the title of the Zelda hentai manga, a handful of adult pokemon books, and the adult Alice in Wonderland book he was taking, on a note along with ‘keep the change’ then stuck a couple of twenty pound notes with it and set it on the counter when the old man wasn’t paying attention.

Sarah giggled. “You know you could just walked out of here with the books, right?”

Harry shook his head and whispered, “That wouldn’t be nice.”

Sarah shook her head as she followed Harry out of the store. ‘Worst thief ever.’

Harry relaxed once he got outside. “We should probably pick a direction and find a library.”

“What’s wrong with the library here?” she asked. “There’s still enough free floating mana to use for at least another week. Shame they don’t build bookshops on ley lines, but that’s mundays for you.”

“Free floating magic?” Harry shook his head as he realized he could ask later. “I want to be out of here before anyone notices that I’m gone and I’d rather not come back if I can help it. The farther I am from the Dursleys’ the less chance I have of having to see them ever again.”

Sarah nodded and changed the subject, “I got the strength bracelet… or I think we did since you’re wearing it. Same thing with the White Sword.”

Harry looked down at the bracelet on his wrist and the sword on his hip. “They didn’t fall apart so I’m going to assume they work. We can test them once we get out of town.”

Sarah smiled as they headed out of town.  

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Dumbledore frowned as he read the note the goblins had sent. “Mr. Potter withdrew one hundred muggle pounds at the Surrey public library at…” He trailed off as he tried to figure out how Harry had made a withdrawal from a library of all places.

“We have tracked the anomaly to a family artifact, so no additional action is needed.” He shook his head. “No additional action is needed? Family artifact? He shouldn’t even know that much about magic, let alone have access to his vault yet. Well at least this will make it easier to track him down.” He sighed as he stood up and went to find Severus.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Hermione Granger blinked as she glanced toward the adult aisle in her favorite bookstore as she walked past and saw a boy dressed up as Link with a foot tall doll that he’d somehow gotten to float around him without any obvious strings or wires.

“You shouldn’t be in that aisle.” Normally it was older boys sneaking over to look at the naked pictures, but that didn’t mean he was supposed to be over there. She was halfway over to him when the floating girl turned and waved at her. She stopped and stared as she realized that the girl’s expression had changed, which shouldn’t be possible.

“What the…” she trailed off as the boy and the ‘pixie’ vanished into thin air or possibly into the book that tumbled off the shelf. “Heck?”

‘Am I seeing things?’ She walked over and picked up the book that fell to the ground and looked at it. ‘So You Want to Be a Spy, Bond Jr. Goes To Training Camp.’ She blushed slightly as she flipped through the book looking at the pictures of naked girls. “I must be imagining things.”

Mrs. Granger raised an eyebrow as she noticed her daughter standing in the adult section looking at a book. She walked over as quietly as she could so see what her daughter was reading. “Hah, Bond. I had a crush on him when I was your age and Sean Connery played the roll. Well, like mother like daughter I suppose.”

Hermione jumped and nearly shrieked as her mother scared the stuffings out of her. “Mum.”

Mrs. Granger raised an eyebrow, “You’re in the adult section reading a naked picture book and you’re trying to Mum, me?”

“Ah…” Hermione blushed furiously. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Oh? What is it supposed to look like then?” She was curious how her daughter would try to talk her way out of being caught red handed.

Hermione opened her mouth to explain about seeing the vanishing boy and flying little person and realized that it sounded more than a little crazy. “There was a boy and he dropped the book, I was going to put it back on the shelf…” she trailed off as she ran out of things to say without lying.

“And you noticed the pictures?” Mrs Granger’s eyes danced with amusement as she teased her daughter. “Not that surprising, considering how much you stare at the girls when we vacation in France.”

“I was looking at everyone not…” Hermione trailed off as she realized her mother was snickering at her.

“That’s not helping your case.” Mrs. Granger smirked.

“Not like that. Growth rates and… okay I’ll shut up now. You’re obviously having fun at my expense,” Hermione replied.

“That’s a parent’s job. Don’t worry, I have the full series at home, you’re free to read them as long as you don’t get the pages stuck together.” Mrs. Granger turned and walked off trying hard not to smirk at the horrified expression on her daughter’s face. ‘Ah, to be young again.’

Hermione put the book back on the shelf and followed her mother hoping that her face didn’t catch fire or anything.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Harry blinked as he looked around as he found himself in an office with several teenage boys and girls. “What’s going on?”

A rather large tall scary looking man said, “This is weapons training, 101. Any messing around and I will shoot you, do you understand?!”

Most of the girls and boys shouted, “Yes, Sir!”

“I can’t hear you!”

The volume increased as everyone including Harry and Sarah shouted, “Yes, Sir!”

“That’s better. Now, I don’t care who you are, I don’t care who your fathers are, I don’t care who your mothers are, and I certainly don’t care about the rest of your family, well maybe your sisters if they are single. I certainly don’t give a damn what your names are. Everyone will take a nametag with a number on it.” He gestured toward the basket on the desk. “For the duration of training you will be that number. If there are any questions feel free to ask them, however if anyone asks a stupid question I will shoot them. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir!”

“Excellent, I might actually get through a training session without shooting anyone. It’s bound to happen eventually. Take a name tag people!”

Harry moved over with the rest of the students and grabbed a name tag. ‘013, could be worse I guess.’ He moved back as the rest of the people got their numbers.

The instructor waited until everyone had their name tags then said, “We’re going to the firing range next, no one will shoot at a target not on their line, if anyone points a gun at a fellow student or myself, I will use them for target practice. I will turn a red light on when it’s time to start and off when it’s time to stop. Ear protection will be worn at all times while the red light in on. Any questions?” His hand caressed the butt of his gun.

“No, Sir!”

“Excellent.” He pointed toward the door. “Through the door and to your left.”

0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Mrs. Granger raised an eyebrow at Hermione’s stack of books on the paranormal. “Not to complain but I have several of these books or rather your father does. He went through a bit of a paranormal craze a couple of years ago, not that he found what he was looking for. Is there some reason for your interest in unexplained things?”

Hermione said, “I’m trying to figure out…”

“Why the lights sometimes flicker when you’re upset?”

“Something like that.”  Hermione sighed. “I don’t remember Daddy having any of these.”

“That’s because most of them are packed away in the attic.” Mrs. Granger smiled as she got rid of ⅔ of her daughter’s stack. Sure, it meant organizing the attic but that would give her time to have the Talk with her daughter about boys, girls, and sex. It wasn’t like she was going to leave it to the idiots at her daughter’s schools or her husband. The schools basically drew pictures and said, don’t do it, her husband would likely try to traumatize her and or avoid it until after she’d had her first child. She smirked as she remembered that she had several rather graphic anatomy books up in the attic that would be perfect for embarrassing her daughter.

“He could have had another bookshelf installed,” Hermione complained.

Mrs. Granger laughed. “If we put in more bookshelves, the house will look more like a library than a home.”

Hermione said, “It’s not that bad.”

“The couch has a bookshelf under it. Your room is filled with bookshelves and the hallway is one solid bookshelf. To say nothing about the bookshelves against the walls in various rooms. It’s bad enough that the kitchen has a shelf that is overflowing with your Dad’s cooking books.”

Hermione asked, “Can I get the others?”

“Of course though I think you could look up most of these at the London library Monday while I’m at my conference.”

“That’s two whole days I could be reading,” Hermione replied.

“One and a half, I’m planning on making you read several anatomy books as homework after I give you the official ‘Talk’.”

“You don’t need to do that…” Hermione blushed.

“You’d rather your father give you the Talk?” She smirked as Hermione shook her head.

“No.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll survive.” Mrs. Granger set the books they weren’t going to buy off to the side of the table for re-shelving. “Don’t worry, I have a conference the day after tomorrow which means you can spend all day in the London library looking up anything you can’t find here.”

“Good.” Hermione wanted to know why strange things seemed to happen around her when she got upset and possibly figure out what she’d seen in the store.