Harry Potter and the Magical Girls Part 1 (Patreon)

'Romance, political satire, thinly veiled porn,' Harry Potter mused as he glanced over the used books in the second hand store for something interesting, mostly because he was bored and Dudley was running around with his friends and in a vicious mood which meant he wanted to avoid his usual haunts. He was just about to head to another section of the shop when a leather bound tome lurched forward an inch.

'Yeah, that's not suspicious,' he thought sarcastically as he grabbed the book and looked at the cover. 'Et magicae amplificatio creaturae ab Artifice Corporis Fabrica?' he read the old fashioned words on the front of the book silently.

"What the hell does that," he trailed off as the words changed before his eyes. 'Creation and Artifice of Magical Amplification Devices?' he read the words, a touch unnerved by the instant translation. 'If I wasn't sure it was magic before, I am now.'

He opened the book and had a brief second to wonder if he'd just made a mistake as the writing on the title page lifted off the page and slammed into his eyes. He would have screamed and curled up from the agonizing pain as the information contained in the book burned itself into his mind and soul but his body was frozen in place thanks to the book's magic.

He wasn't sure how long he mentally screamed, trapped in his own body without being able to move or even make a sound but it was long enough that night had fallen and the store was dark by the time he could move. Of course, he fell backwards and landed on the uncomfortable reading chair as soon as he could control his body thanks to the lack of warning.

Harry stared at the shelves for a couple of seconds as he tried to figure out what the hell had just happened then wiped his face when he realized he had something on it and that his scar felt like it had burst open. He stared at the nasty looking blackish red ooze on his hand for a couple of seconds then looked down at the small pile of glittering ash on the ground. 'Great, Vernon is going to lock me out all night.'

He got to his feet and headed towards the bathroom in the back of the store, wanting to wash his face off before someone saw the blood or whatever the hell had leaked out of his scar. He was just glad that the street light across the way provided enough illumination to sort of navigate the aisles. 'Since when do books burn their information into people's heads? I should have paid more attention when Hermione mentioned cursed books and the restricted section. Did it change anything? I don't feel like speaking in limericks or at least I don't think so.'

"Testing, anything?" he muttered to himself as he opened the door to the bathroom and walked in. He closed the door then flipped the light on and stared at his reflection in disbelief when he noticed his scar looked like someone had taken a can opener to it. "Fuck!"

"That explains why it hurts," Harry muttered as he grabbed a couple paper towels from the dispenser, got them wet and attempted to remove the blood and nasty black crud. He sighed when he realized he'd caused it to start bleeding again but at least the blood was red rather than black or some nasty color. He opened the cabinet above the sink and grabbed the metal first aid kit.

He opened the kit and looked at the bottle of rubbing alcohol and the various band-aids. "Sorry, I'll come back with some money when I can," he promised as he worked on cleaning up his forehead as best he could. He nearly screamed when he used the alcohol soaked cotton swab on his scar but persisted in scrubbing it clean because he didn't want his face rotting off and the bits of black crap were disgusting.

Harry stared in disbelief when he saw his hands glow and the wound healed before his eyes, causing the remains of his scar to vanish. "Wicked…" he trailed off as he realized he'd just used magic which meant he was probably going to get a notice from the ministry. "Shit!" he cursed then took a breath and let it out slowly. 'Don't panic, you can blame it on a charmed object, it's not like anyone would believe you know a proper healing spell.'

He quickly put the first aid kit back then cleaned up the sink and headed for the back door, hoping he didn't need a key. Thankfully opening the lock from the inside was as easy as turning the knob and pulling the door open. He checked the alley to make sure no one was outside then checked to make sure the door would stay locked and walked outside, shutting the door behind him.

He couldn't help the strange thoughts of magical items and foci that crept into his thoughts on the way back to the Dursleys. He would have blown it off as an overactive imagination thanks to the title of the book but he could practically see the arcane diagrams if he closed his eyes and the incantations were on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to be spoken.

Of course seeing the police cars outside of his Aunt's house with their lights on complicated things, his first thought was that Dudley had finally gone too far but he doubted there would be multiple cops for a simple case of assault and anything more serious would have resulted in him being tossed in a holding cell. He was just about to turn around and walk away when one of the neighbors called out, "Harry?"

Harry turned to look at the familiar old lady he often saw watering her yard. "What happened?" he asked, deciding that was a less suspicious question than just pretending he hadn't heard her and wandering off.

"Nothing good. Gerald was walking Bengy past your house when she started barking like mad which caused your uncle to come outside and then he just had a fit, clutched his throat and started screaming like he was being cut up or something. Damnedest thing Gerald had ever seen and he served in The War. He said that Vernon just fell over and the same thing happened to your cousin when he came outside to see what the screaming was about. Bengy took off running and Gerald ran after her. She's normally a well behaved dog."

"What about my aunt?" Harry asked, hoping she'd left for the hospital.

"They had to sedate her, she was ranting about feeling cold and cloaked creatures," the woman offered. "Sally down the street said the police were worried about a gas leak."

'Cloaks and cold? What the hell was a dementor doing here?' Harry mused, not sure what else it could be. "Thanks for telling me." He turned and headed towards the house, hoping he could grab his trunk before someone noticed something they shouldn't.

"You have to stay back," an officer warned Harry as he approached.

"I live here, what's going on?" Harry asked, studying the frustrated looking middle aged officer. "The neighbor just said Vernon and Dudley collapsed."

"Name?" the officer asked as he glanced at his notepad, checking the list of names he'd been given of the residents.

"Harry Potter," Harry offered.

The officer studied Harry for a couple of seconds, trying to figure out if he looked guilty of anything or just confused. "Your uncle and cousin have been rushed to the hospital, they're non responsive or were the last I heard. Your aunt had to be sedated, likely shock."

"Can I grab a bag and get a lift to the hospital?" Harry asked, figuring it would be easy enough to slip away once he got to the hospital.

"That might not be a good idea, she was ranting about you, do you have a friend you can stay with for a couple of days?" he asked, glad that he wouldn't have to deal with more calls about the Dursley kid for a while.

"Yeah, I have friends," Harry said, wishing his friends had actually returned any of his letters. 'At least I still have Hermione's number and I know about where they live which means I just need a phonebook.'

"Thomson!" the man called out, causing the younger officer to head over. "Have the techs swept the area for gas?"

"They didn't find anything, nothing suspicious inside either with the exception of some locks on the second bedroom and a lock on the cabinet under the stairs that had a school trunk in it," Thomson replied.

"Locks?" the older officer asked warily.

"My Uncle doesn't much like me," Harry admitted, figuring that wasn't news if they'd talked to any of the neighbors. "Something about my parents having the nerve to die and leave them with an extra burden when I was a baby."

"I have to ask, where have you been for the last two hours?" the cop asked, wanting to make sure he covered the basic questions even though he was fairly sure the kid had nothing to do with the Dursleys collapsing.

"Walking around town. I would rather be at home working on my summer reading but they have a tendency to toss me out of the house right after breakfast and only let me back in once it gets dark. Not to mention they think it's funny to lock my school supplies up so I can't do my reading."

"In other words, you don't get along with your family?" the officer asked.

"My aunt isn't usually so bad, her husband is a violent man and his sister likes sicking dogs on people," Harry explained as he lifted up his pants leg and showed them the old scar from Ripper biting him. "How she's allowed to raise dogs, I'll never understand. But honestly, I had one more summer with them then I was leaving, so I have no reason to wish them harm."

"Do you have anything that isn't in your room?" the officer asked.

"Beyond my school trunk under the stairs?" Harry shook his head. "Not that I know of."

"Thomson, escort Harry into the house and let him grab his stuff, mark anything he grabs that looks suspicious like jewelry or cash from elsewhere in the house," the officer ordered.

"No problem," Thomson said as he led the way into the house.

Harry followed Thomson into the house and quickly grabbed his trunk, happy that the officer didn't seem the least bit interested in checking it. He checked his room on the off chance that Hedwig had gotten back, grabbed his flashlight from his pillow that he'd 'borrowed' from Dudley's collection of old presents. "That's it."

"You're not taking your clothes?" Thomson asked, glancing around the mostly empty room, his eyes sliding past the empty bird cage.

"I'd rather not give the Dursleys a reason to think I stole anything from them and everything I have is second hand cast offs from my cousin," Harry explained as they headed back down the stairs, wanting to get as far away from the house as he could before the dementors came back or someone showed up to cause trouble. He was more than a little surprised that he made it out of the house and down the block without Dumbledore or Hagrid showing up or the police questioning him about the location of his friend, it was enough to make him wonder if someone had charmed the house so that no one asked any questions about anything strange.

Harry couldn't help the collection of worries dancing around his brain as he walked down the street towards the train station, everything from the fact that he'd gotten Cedric killed to the fact that his friends hadn't written him back. He could see Ron blowing it off but Hermione doing the same was worrying and spoke to enemy action. 'Fine, if they're coming after me, I'm going to have to prepare.'

He ran through a number of different options while he made his way to the station but the only thing he thought might have a chance involved using the information the book had burned into his mind and creating a transformation talisman. 'If it was real, wouldn't someone have said something? Then again, why would someone go through the effort of coming up with an entire volume of useless knowledge?'

'What would Hermione do?' Harry asked himself as he reached the station. 'Think the problem through, make an outline and figure out what you need. I need to defend myself and doing the basics isn't going to cut it. If I can make a transformation talisman, I should be able to do something to fight back.'

He stepped inside and glanced around the station then walked over to a bench and sat down so he could take off his left shoe. 'I should have something I can use in my vault or at least enough money to buy the supplies I need. Let's assume this is a joke, how much is it going to set me back?' he asked, mentally running through the basic ingredients he'd need. 'A couple of Galleons, not enough to matter.'

'What are you going to do if you can't build a transformation talisman?' he asked himself as he pulled the liner out of his left shoe, revealing the two twenty pound notes he'd stashed in the only place he'd been reasonably sure the Dursleys wouldn't check. 'If it doesn't work, I'm pulling a Hermione. I'll hit the bookstore and do what I should have done to start with, study,' he told himself as he took the cash out then put his shoe back together and put it on.

He tied the laces then headed over to the bored looking woman behind the counter. "Ticket to King's Cross please."

"Sure, no problem," the woman replied absently as she rang up the ticket and took his twenty. "You're lucky, the next train should be here in two to three minutes."

"Thanks," Harry said as he took the ticket and change, not sure how to feel about his relatives. By all rights, he shouldn't care if they caught fire but there was a small part of him that acknowledged that they had in fact taken him in which had kept him from being raised in the wizarding world and ending up like Draco. 'Screw it, there's nothing you can do about it right now,' he admitted as he walked away from the counter.

He glanced around the station and over the people, wondering if any of them were secretly Death Eaters or Dumbledore's people. 'Stop freaking out, they're actually dressed normal.' He inhaled and exhaled slowly a couple of times, trying to calm down while he waited for the train. 'Just because the wards might have failed doesn't mean everyone is going to ambush you, doesn't mean they aren't either.'

He was almost disappointed when he managed to make it to King's Cross station without getting attacked or at least starting to wonder if the Dursleys had just eaten something a bit suspect as he would have expected someone to follow up if it had been a magical attack.

He smiled when he noticed a pawnshop on his way to the Leaky Cauldron. 'It's probably easier to just grab some cheap jewelry on the mundane side, I wouldn't have to deal with lingering charms causing interference.' He ducked into the pawn shop and glanced around, not quite sure where to find what he was looking for or how much it would cost.

"Can I help you with something?" the old man behind the counter asked.

"Cheap silver jewelry," Harry replied, figuring that was about all he could afford.

"Male or female jewelry?" the man asked.

"There's a difference?" Harry asked then sighed when the old man shook his head. "Other than sizes?"

"How much do you have to work with?" the man asked, figuring that would narrow things down.

"Thirty five pounds," Harry said, not particularly concerned with spending what he had as he could always get more from the bank in the morning.

"That puts you in the costume jewelry range or silver rings or necklaces with fake gems," the man gestured towards one of his glass cases. "Are you wearing it or is it a gift and do you know their ring size?"

"I'm wearing it," Harry replied as he walked over, not particularly concerned with the size as the transformation talismans should resize, assuming they worked in the first place.

"In that case try a couple of rings until you find something that fits and we'll go from there," the old man said as he grabbed a box of cheap rings from the case and set it on the counter.

"Thanks." Harry tried a couple of different rings until he found a ring that fit with a celtic knotwork pattern that was both cheap and reasonable looking. He grabbed a second ring that matched in case he screwed up the first one or in case he succeeded on the first one and one of his friends needed a transformation ring.

"Nice choice," the man replied as he rang up Harry's order. "Thirty pounds. Anything else?"

"Not today," Harry replied as he handed over the money.

"In that case, enjoy," the shopkeeper replied.

Harry pocketed the rings and headed down the street, trying to keep an eye on everything without looking like a paranoid idiot. He felt slightly better when he managed to get to the Leaky Cauldron without trouble. He walked over and sat down at the mostly empty bar. "How much for a room Tom?"

Tom turned and blinked in surprise when he recognized Harry. "I'm not sure now's the best time to be renting a room with what the paper has been saying."

"What's that?" Harry asked, thinking about Fudge's refusal to believe him about Voldemort being back.

"They're saying you're delusional and that you've snapped," Tom warned him.

"Great," Harry muttered, wishing the wizarding world had decent libel laws so he could sue the hell out of the paper.

"Do you need to use the floo?" Tom asked, thinking back to the year before last when Harry had spent most of the summer exploring the alley.

"No, I just needed some books and my uncle's sister decided she was coming for a visit. I'd rather avoid a repeat performance of third year," Harry lied, figuring it gave him a reason to stay away from the house that people would believe and wouldn't add to the rumors, considering most people had family they didn't like.

"Say no more," Tom said as he grabbed a key from under the counter and set it in front of Harry. "First night is on the house."

"Thank you, now if you'll excuse me, I have some shopping to do," Harry replied then headed for the exit to the alley, hoping he could get what he needed before someone mentioned his presence to Dumbledore. He did his best to keep his head down as he headed to the alchemist shop to get the ingredients he needed to enchant the rings.

0o0o0

Harry was a bit disturbed what supposedly professional alchemists would let students purchase but chalked it up to the lax standards in the wizarding world or maybe just the fact that you'd need some esoteric knowledge to understand how everything he'd purchased fit together. From there it was a simple matter of returning to his room, drawing a pentagram on a piece of parchment, inking the right designs on the ring and feeding it magic to create his prototype transformation talisman.

Harry studied the magical ring he'd just created, not sure how much to trust the information floating around in his mind. "This would be a lot easier if I could just hand it to Ron to test or the twins."

'That's cold, are you a Gryffindor or a Slytherin?' He slipped the ring on his finger then walked over to the mirror in the corner and activated the magic. He wasn't quite prepared for the talisman to actually work, nor was he ready for the purple sparkles that quickly flowed out of the ring and over his body, changing him from a skinny fifteen year old wizard to a very naked busty teenage girl with red hair that came down to his butt.

"Huh, it actually works." Harry smiled as he realized that Dumbledore would have a hell of a time sending him back to his aunt's house if he couldn't find him. He twisted and looked at his disturbingly cute butt.

"You could bounce a sickle off that ass," the mirror suggested.

Harry stared at the glowing mirror for a couple of seconds then shook his head, wondering about the sanity of the people that charmed the mirror. "Thanks?" he asked, not sure how sentient the mirror was but figuring it didn't hurt to be polite. "Okay, basic magic detection looks to be working, let's see if the basic physical enhancement package worked..." he trailed off as he reached down and picked up the old fashioned wooden bed without any real effort, something that certainly hadn't been possible the last time he'd checked.

He carefully set the bed down then jumped up on the bedpost and balanced perfectly, something he certainly wouldn't have been able to do before he'd transformed into a magical girl. 'Joking aside, where the hell did the book come from?' he asked himself as he carefully jumped back down to the floor, doing his best to let his knees absorb most of the impact to keep the noise down. 'Not bad but I bet I could improve it with the right charm worked into the ring.'

"Okay, I should have a force field…" he trailed off as his invisibility cloak appeared around his shoulders, causing the parts covered to vanish from view. 'How the hell is my cloak tied into my powers? Maybe because it's a family artifact?'

He smiled when he focused on his cloak and a shimmering field of force covered the cloak. "Okay, I could get used to this, stealth and protection." He focused on his half remembered 'memories' and let his cloak vanish, giggling a touch when he realized that he'd be able to summon his cloak when he needed it. 'If I ever need to be a knockoff superhero, I can certainly look the part and no one is connecting the dots.'

He smirked at his reflection then walked over to his trunk and opened it, wanting to check on his cloak. He wasn't sure if he should be annoyed or not that his cloak wasn't in his trunk. 'At least this means people will have a harder time stealing it.'

He focused and conjured his arcane focus then almost dropping his wand when it vanished from his sleeve and appeared in his hand. 'That beats sticking it in a pocket or behind an ear. What else do I need to test? Combat magic? Not in the inn, summoning?' he mused, giggling with glee as he thought about sending summoned monsters after Voldemort until he went insane or they got lucky.

"Maybe later, somewhere with more space," Harry said thoughtfully as he grabbed another piece of parchment so he could write down the runes he'd need to create a ring that would give him a male form, mostly because while being a girl was amusing, he wasn't spending the rest of the summer that way.

He'd almost finished writing out the string of runes when he heard a tap on the window. He grinned when he turned and saw the letter Hedwig was holding up to the window. "Finally," he complained as he rushed over to the window to let Hedwig inside.

Hedwig handed him the letter then flew over and landed on the back of the desk.

Harry scowled when he noticed the faint glow around the edges of the letter indicating that it had been charmed though the magic was already fading which meant that dispelling the rest of it was probably pointless. 'Great, there's no way Hermione risked getting an infraction which means someone charmed it for her or without her knowledge.'

He closed the window then opened the letter and read the contents, fairly sure he couldn't trust the letter but curious about the contents. 'Dear Harry, I'm not sure how much I can tell you in a letter on the off chance that it's intercepted but I heard about the attack on the Dursleys. Get somewhere safe and call me on the phone. Professor Dumbledore wanted to let you know that you shouldn't return to the Dursleys, the blood wards are in tatters and someone might be watching the place.'

"That's more information than I got from her previous letter," he muttered as he sat down on the bed, trying to figure out what he was going to do. 'Okay, someone charmed the letter, it's certainly Hermione's handwriting and Hedwig doesn't seem flustered or upset which means she wasn't intercepted. Worst case, someone grabbed Hermione and forced her to write the letter.'

Harry felt his stomach twist at the idea of any of the Death Eaters grabbing Hermione. He pushed the feeling of unease aside and studied her writing. 'She's not digging her pen into the parchment and her letters aren't sloppy which would have been a give away that something was wrong which means Dumbledore probably asked her to write the letter and charmed it.'

'Tracking charm seems a good bet which means I should probably prepare for company,' he mused as he walked over to the desk. 'If I give Sirius a transformation talisman he should be able to leave the house without the Ministry catching him. How do I get Sirius to trust the ring? Screw it, it's Sirius, I'll just tell him that I bought the ring in a pawn shop and figured he'd want the chance to wander around the alley.'

'Either way, I should get started if I want to get everything finished before someone checks on me.' Harry bounced to his feet and walked over to the desk and started work on the second ring, keeping it basically the same as the first ring, just tweaking the rune that controlled the alternate form's age.

He'd barely finished writing a quick note to Sirius and sending Hedwig on her way when there was a knock on the door. 'Shit.' He closed the window then walked over to the bed and pulled the blanket off the bed and partially over his trunk. "Just a second." He grabbed the sheet and held it to 'his' chest then walked over and opened the door a crack. "Yes?"

"Where's Potter?" demanded an unfamiliar man with more than a couple of scars.

"He had to step out for a bit," Harry lied then jumped back when the guy kicked the door open. "What the hell is your damage!"

"He can't have gone far," the man said as he stepped into the room with his wand pointed at the naked curvy redhead girl holding a sheet to her chest. "I'll keep an eye on the girl, search the place."

"Just remember to gag her, we don't need people getting curious," the other man said, leering at Harry.

"Wouldn't be the first time," the scarred man replied with amusement.

Harry dodged to the side of the scarred wizard's stunner, summoned his melee focus and cloak and ran the man through with his sword before he had a chance to get off a second spell.

Harry winced when the man managed a horrible gasping sound before dying. He tossed the corpse at the man's friend when he stepped around the corner with his wand drawn. He stared in disbelief when he realized he'd tossed the corpse hard enough to snap the other man's spine and drive his head into the wall with enough force to snap some of the boards. 'Holy shit!'

Harry shook off his shock and dashed to the door to check the hallway, relieved to find no one else in the hallway. 'I'm not explaining this shit, Fudge would toss me in Azkaban.' He let his silver sword vanish then quickly dragged the men into the room. He focused and summoned his wand then pointed at the wall. "Repairo."

He sighed in relief as the wall repaired itself, looking as good as new or at least as good as it had before he'd tossed a person at it. "Scourgify," he whispered as he waved his wand at the ground and wall. Harry quickly scanned the area for drops of blood then closed the door when he heard another door start to open, not wanting to explain his lack of attire or the presence of an attractive young witch in the room Harry was supposed to be renting.

He locked the door then turned and looked at the dead wizards, focusing on the nasty glowing circles on their left arms that he could 'see' through their shirts. He wasn't particularly surprised to find dark marks when he checked their arms.

"Why can't you leave me alone?" Harry grumbled as he walked over and grabbed his transfiguration textbook out of his trunk, wondering if there was something he could use to dispose of the bodies.

0o0o0

Remus pulled his attention away from Harry's owl and looked at the letter Sirius was holding. "What does it say?"

"Dear Sirius, I'm letting you know that I'm in good health despite the attack on the Dursleys and that I'm safe for the time being. Considering recent trouble and information leaks, I'm afraid I can't tell you where I'm staying or who I'm staying with. Don't do anything crazy," Sirius grinned and finished reading the rest of the letter silently, 'like put on the disguise ring and come to the Leaky Cauldron.'

"Is that a letter from Harry?" Molly Weasley demanded as she walked into the den.

"Yeah, he just wanted to say he was safe and that the message would self-destruct," Sirius used a touch of magic and set the letter on fire. "Bloody hell!" he shouted and tossed the burning letter in the fireplace. "I blame Moody for that crap."

"Technically, he was never taught by the real Moody," Remus pointed out, knowing full well that Sirius had practiced that little wandless trick a lot during school.

"Close enough," Sirius replied absently as he discreetly pocketed the silver ring that had come with the letter.

"What did it say?" Molly asked, worried about Harry.

"Just that he's alive and well and worried about information leaks," Sirius replied with a shrug.

"Why is he worried about information leaks?" Molly asked, glancing between Sirius and Remus.

"No idea," Sirius admitted. "Maybe he saw something or maybe he's just worried about someone intercepting his letter."

"Did he say where he was?" Molly demanded.

Sirius snorted. "His uncle and cousin got their souls ripped out by dementors, do you really think he's going to trust his location in a letter?"

"I guess not," Molly admitted.

"Cheer up, I'm sure Albus will find him before the Death Eaters," Remus assured her.

"Did you get a letter from Harry?" Ron asked when he walked in and noticed Hedwig perched on the back of a chair.

Sirius turned to look at Ron. "Yeah, he's alive and safe, more than that he didn't say, something about operational security."

"Why?" Ron asked, looking confused.

"Probably because you wouldn't tell him shit in your letters," Sirius replied sarcastically, not particularly amused by Albus encouraging everyone to avoid writing letters. 'Sorry Ron, I have places to be and I'd rather not explain.'

"Dumbledore told us not to, how's that my fault?" Ron demanded.

Sirius snorted. "Did you ever bother to explain to Harry that Albus was worried about security?"

"He has his reasons," Molly snapped.

"There's a difference between I can't talk about anything and I can't talk about important things and Harry would have understood if someone had actually explained, now if you'll excuse me, I need to talk to an elf about cleaning things." Sirius shook his head then left the room.

'What are you up to?' Remus asked as he watched his friend leave with a certain spring in his steps that had been absent for a while. "I should get back to looking through reports to see if I can find something."

"You should get back to cleaning," Molly ordered, looking at Ron.

"Isn't that what house elves are for?" Ron asked.

Molly glared at Ron. "Cleaning is a good skill to have."

"That's what spells are for," Ron argued.

"There are plenty of things scourgify doesn't work on, get back to work," Molly ordered, wanting him to stay out of trouble.

"Fine," Ron complained as he left, grumbling under his breath about how things would be fine and how everyone had lost their minds.

Remus watched Molly and Ron leave then headed up the stairs towards Sirius's bedroom, wanting more details. 'There was obviously something in the letter or he wouldn't have burned it, either a location or something Harry didn't want people to worry about.' His mind went blank when he pushed the door open and saw a busty naked red haired girl in her early or mid twenties staring at herself in a mirror.

Sirius turned to look at Remus. "Get in and shut the door, you look tense, no clawing or biting, Sirius has already paid for an hour."

Remus stared at the unfamiliar young lady for a couple of seconds then snorted and stepped inside the room, half tempted to play along but not in the mood. "Where did you get the polyjuice?"

"I'll have you know, these are all natural," Sirius replied, gesturing towards 'his' breasts.

"Sirius," Remus snapped.

Sirius laughed as he mentally activated the ring and he changed back to normal, complete with clothes. "Harry sent a present and a location, I've got to go spring him, cover for me?" he asked hopefully.

"How?" Remus sputtered. "Where did he even find that?"

"Pawn shop or at least that's what he said," Sirius shook his head. "Kid has the weirdest luck."

"How long do you need?" Remus asked, knowing he should be telling Albus about the ring but fairly sure none of the Death Eaters could have made it or would have given it up if they'd found it.

"Thirty minutes?" Sirius offered, not sure how long it would take to apparate to the Leaky Cauldron and grab Harry but figuring it would take at least a little while to find him.

"You realize there's no way he found that in a pawn shop, right?" Remus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Vault? One of Lily's experiments?" Sirius asked thoughtfully.

"Seems more likely than a pawn shop but if she'd had the ability to pull it off, she wouldn't have had to go into hiding," Remus pointed out. "Did you even check it before you put it on?"

"I'm not an idiot," Sirius replied sarcastically.

"You're willingly heading into the Leaky Cauldron using a suspect magical item that you got in a letter, what part of this screams sanity?" Remus asked.

"All of it," Sirius lied just to see the look of annoyance on his friend's face. "It's Harry's writing, it's his owl. If it's a trap, we're already screwed. Besides, it's not like he had a lot of options for places to hide."

"He could have picked a better location, all it takes is someone to notice him and send a message to the wrong people," Remus complained.

"Which is another reason to leave as quickly as I can," Sirius complained, wanting out of the house.

Remus sighed as he realized he was going to have to help Sirius, if only to keep him from stunning him and going anyways. "I can probably give you twenty minutes before someone comes looking," he offered as he pulled a strip of paper out of his pocket and handed it to his friend. "You'll need this."

"Thanks." Sirius stuck the strip of paper in his pocket then changed back into his new female form and summoned his wand.

"Did you just teleport your wand?" Remus asked, not sure what else to call it since his wand had appeared out of thin air.

"More like summoned it," Sirius replied with amusement as he waved his wand and conjured a kilt and a white dress shirt. "That should do it."

Remus shook his head. "Don't die."

"Not planning on it," Sirius replied as he pulled the shirt on over his head. "I'll just pop over to the alley then pop back with Harry, I'll even take my mirror and call if I run into a problem."

"Good," Remus muttered, not particularly happy about the entire situation but knowing they needed to grab Harry if the wards were down.

Sirius pulled the kilt on then conjured a pair of shoes and a belt before dismissing his wand. "Is it bad that I want to keep the ring?"

"Probably." Remus shook his head then left the room, fairly sure he could buy Sirius at least twenty minutes before someone came to check on him.