Dawn and Reincarnation Part 46 (Patreon)

"This would be easier if the board would let me hire Americans," Albus muttered under his breath as he pulled a chair away from the sarcophagus mounted to the wall.

"Perish the thought that we get someone bloodthirsty enough to do the job," Severus replied dryly as he moved a box of trinkets so Albus could pull the lever on the Defense Teacher Summoning device. "If you want, I could take over and you could find a replacement potions instructor," he offered, knowing Albus wouldn't take him up on it.

"You know as well as I do that Slughorn won't take over mid year as he wouldn't get the kickbacks from Flourish and Blotts for changing the book list and most of the people I could ask know Riddle is going to be causing trouble soon," Albus argued.

"You could always just kill him," Severus pointed out.

"I wish it was that easy," Albus mused as he walked over and pulled the lever on the side of the Defense Teacher summoning device. He took a step back as the sarcophagus slowly opened and a busty blue haired woman in her twenties stepped out wearing blue and white socks that reached her knees, a black dress that came down to her mid thighs and a large black witch's hat. "Welcome to Hogwarts."

The woman glanced around the office then focused on Dumbledore. "Thank you for inviting me to teach Defense, Enchanting and Magitech Engineering."

"Magitech Engineering?" Severus asked in surprise as the sarcophagus slowly closed.

"Of course, it's a fun elective and Enchanting goes nicely with Defence. If my students put in the effort, I'll have them tossing plasma and riding lightning by Christmas. Unless they're completely hopeless, at which point we can probably rig up a synaptic amplification device and shock them until they learn to appreciate mad science!" she said cheerfully.

"I think you'll find that several of the students lack any desire to improve themselves," Severus warned her.

"Don't worry, making shock collars is easy enough," she assured them.

"Tell me more," Severus said, trying not to smirk at the look of concern on Albus' face.

"Shock collars might be a bit much and we have strict rules for punishing students with magic," Albus warned her.

"Don't worry, they're not magic and we can turn the voltage down," she assured him then blinked when Fred woke up and realized that this version of her was a bit of a mad scientist. "On the other hand, you might have a point. I'll do my best to inspire the students. Can I get a class list and book list?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"I'm afraid we don't have books for Enchanting or Magitech Engineering, no one has taught Enchanting in years," Albus admitted.

"In that case, I'll come up with something," Fred said, figuring she'd just have to give people handouts.

"As for classes, I was expecting a Defense Teacher, so you'll have to talk to my Deputy Headmistress about scheduling the extra two classes, I'm sure you'll have plenty of people interested in learning." Albus smiled when McGonagall walked into the office. "Excellent timing, just the woman I needed to see. Can you help our new professor with some scheduling issues? It turns out she's willing to teach two additional classes rather than just Defense."

"Two classes?" McGonagall asked, trying not to focus on the fact that their new teacher wasn't wearing shoes and was showing more skin than was strictly proper.

"Enchanting and Magitech Engineering," Fred replied, looking forward to playing with her new skills and teaching a bunch of people to be mad scientists.

"I see," McGonagall muttered, giving Albus a stern look that he cheerfully ignored. "It's nice that you could find a Defense professor on short notice."

"Quite," Albus agreed, refusing to elaborate further. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to assure the board of directors that everything will be returning to some semblance of normalcy."

"And I need to," Snape paused when a bottle of Narcissa's favorite wine appeared on the desk with a pop, "assure a lady that her son is perfectly safe at Hogwarts so long as he behaves himself." He picked up the wine and headed for the floo. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll see everyone tomorrow, for breakfast."

McGonagall shook her head. "Let's go to my office."

"Of course," Fred agreed and followed the older witch out of the office, hoping she'd be able to fill in some of the blanks.

0o0o

"You're insane, you know that right?" Rose complained as she followed Puck and Tara into the Gryffindor reading room.

"I'm aware," Puck replied as he closed the door, causing the sounds of the party to diminish to a dull roar. "The bitch was using cursed quills, she put my sister in the infirmary and Umbridge's response to Pomfrey was basically piss off I can do whatever I want and I can get you fired or tossed in prison if you don't like it. Don't get me wrong, I've had a lot of fun learning magic but I'm not going to stick my head in the sand and hope things improve."

"What are you going to do if they send dementors after you?" Rose demanded.

"I'm going to kill them," Puck replied with a grin.

"How? They're immortal," Rose snapped, recalling the various books she'd read back in third year when she'd been looking for a way to kill them.

Puck smiled at Tara then looked back at Rose. "Just because wizards can't kill them with magic doesn't mean it's impossible to destroy them with the right spell or enough effort. Even if I can't destroy them, we can probably trap them or seal them away and let them starve." He turned to look at Tara. "Can you make doors?"

"You know I can. Spike?" Tara asked, fairly sure Ethan would have drawn the duel out more and Xander would have cracked more jokes while screwing them over.

"Once upon a time," Puck admitted. "Any idea where Dawn is?"

"Give me a second, I've been a bit distracted." Tara focused her doormaker power on Dawn and smiled when she saw her bouncing around a cargo hold in what looked suspiciously like an alien spacesuit. "Huh, she's either bouncing around an alien spaceship in a spacesuit or she's testing a flight suit in a weird metal room."

"Star Wars or Star Trek?" Puck asked excitedly.

"What are you talking about?" Rose demanded, wondering if she needed to take her sister and friend to the nurse's office to get their heads examined.

Tara pulled her focus back and looked around the alien junkyard. "She's in an alien shipyard, we should probably wait until she gets somewhere with an atmosphere before we open a door."

"I'm not sure how to explain without sounding insane," Puck admitted as he sat down on the table, trying to figure out a way to explain things that didn't ruin things with his sister and best friend.

"We're in a magical school learning magic, try," Rose replied with a touch of sarcasm.

"Puck and I remember some of our past lives and we have friends that sort of bounce between worlds," Puck offered.

"Is this a prank?" Rose asked, not sure if Puck was messing with her or if he'd snapped from having to deal with Umbridge.

"No, give me a second and I'll prove it." Tara focused on Xander, smiling when she saw him sitting on a couch with an unfamiliar white haired teenager and a girl that looked like Luna sitting on his lap. 'He looks like he's relaxed which means it should be safe enough.' She opened a door into the room and waved to Xander. "Xander, can you tell my sister that I'm not crazy?"

"Huh," Sabrina muttered, adding doorways to her list of spells to talk Xander out of when she got a chance.

Xander smiled when he looked over and saw Tara through one of her doorways. "No more than the rest of us."

"Hey," Faith offered as she continued massaging Sabrina's shoulders.

"Does this mean you're not my sister?" Rose asked hesitantly as she stared at the group of strangers and the slightly older looking Luna that was sitting on the guy's lap, not sure what was going on but unwilling to lose the only family she had left that she gave a damn about.

"Nope!" Tara said, pulling Rose into a hug from behind. "It just means that you get to meet some old friends and go on adventures with me if you want to, I'm keeping you."

"I wouldn't mind a vacation," Rose admitted, fairly sure the closest thing she'd had to a vacation was helping Sirius clean up his family home which was sort of sad considering she'd spent most of the time working on summer reading thanks to Hermione trying to distract her from thinking about the graveyard.

"Vacation or apocalypse?" Puck asked Xander.

"Bit of both actually," Xander replied. "You?"

Tara gestured at Puck. "Spike killed the Defense teacher so we might need to skip town for a bit."

"She had it coming," Puck replied defensively.

"How did she have it coming?" Luna asked, studying the strangers.

"Umbridge gave my sister a cursed quill," Puck explained, studying the slightly older looking version of Luna that looked like she'd stepped out of an Alice and Wonderland play.

"Makes sense," Luna agreed, knowing what her world's version of Umbridge had been like before her minions had gotten to her. "Does that mean you go to Hogwarts?"

"Hogwarts?" Nick asked, figuring they were joking.

"A version of it. This is my sister, Rose Marie Potter," Tara explained.

"Nice," Sabrina said as she took a step closer so she could look around the study she could see through the door.

"Girl That Lived and all that rot," Puck added.

"Don't touch the edges of the door, they're sharp," Tara warned the white haired girl, wanting to avoid her slicing her hand off or losing fingers.

"Are you related to Luna Lovegood?" Rose asked the girl that looked like her friend.

"Considering my world had a Boy That Lived, she's probably an alternate," Luna said as she hopped off Xander's lap. "Let me guess, you need to kill Voldemort and possibly a Dumbledore?"

Rose stared at Luna. "Yes on the first, no on the second. Is that a thing?"

"Are you saying he didn't stick you with the Dursleys?" Luna asked, curious about the differences between worlds.

"There were extenuating circumstances," Rose muttered, still not particularly happy about growing up with the Dursleys but the alternatives hadn't been all that great.

"Fair enough. Tell you what, I'll lend you Xander for a couple of days if you're willing to find a good home for Sabrina," Luna offered, gesturing at the girl sitting next to Xander.

"How is that going to help with Voldemort?" Rose asked.

Luna smiled. "He just finished destroying an immortal warlock, Voldemort should be easy, especially since I know what he used for Horcruxes, or at least I know what my version used."

Rose glanced between Xander and the white haired girl. "So all I have to do is find a home for a teenage girl and you'll help me get rid of Voldemort?" she asked, fairly sure Sirius wouldn't object to a house guest if she asked for a favor.

"Exactly," Luna agreed. "She's a living paradox which means she needs to jump realities before things get worse."

"If nothing else, I'm sure we can figure out something long term," Xander promised, fairly sure Dawn would be happy to let her stay on the island.

"What about the Eldritch Terrors?" Sabrina Spellman asked, hoping they had something that could help.

"Good question. How far can your portals reach?" Luna asked Tara, curious why she couldn't scan her.

"What do you need?" Tara asked, not seeing a problem with helping.

"Can you toss the Void and the rest of the Eldritch Terrors into a dead universe or at least an empty one?" Luna asked, figuring that would be the easiest way to deal with them.

Tara focused on her power and what she wanted, quickly finding several dimensions that were lifeless, dark and devoid of magic. "What am I dropping there?"

"An orb, a dollhouse with a nightmare trapped inside, an octopus that we froze and the imp of the perverse," Sabrina said, listing off the terrors they'd already dealt with.

"And the void if you can," Xander suggested as he walked over to the door.

"Is that safe?" Rose asked warily, not sure what they were talking about other than it sounded dangerous.

"It should be fine. Where are they?" Tara asked, needing more information before she could open a portal.

"I left most of them in my house, do I need to teleport home and get them?" Sabrina asked, more than willing to spend the energy or run home if it meant she could relax and not have to worry about the Terrors escaping or being set free.

"No, that should be enough to narrow it down." Tara focused and opened a door to Sabrina's room and another door to one of the dimensions without life or magic in Sabrina's room. "Just toss them through the door."

Luna pouted slightly when she failed to scan the bronze imp statue before someone tossed it through the portal with telekinesis. 'Probably for the best.'

Sabrina quickly tossed the rest of the trapped Eldritch Terrors through the portal, happy to get rid of them. "Now what?"

"Now I close the portal." Tara closed the portals then opened a giant portal in front of the Void to the 'dead' universe, causing a large section of the Void to fly through the doorway and evaporate when the rules of the universe proved incompatible with the creature's metaphysics. She opened several more portals when the Void tried to scatter, dropping the bits and pieces into the dead universe until there wasn't enough of the Void left to exist. "If it's not dead, I doubt it's coming back for a couple of thousand years."

"And that is how you deal with Eldritch abominations," Luna said cheerfully, dusting her hands off. "Now, does anyone want to tell me why I can't scan you?" she asked, glancing between Tara and Puck.

"Magic?" Puck asked, fairly sure he wasn't wearing anything that would screw with a technological scan.

Luna nodded. "Magic defenses?"

Puck grinned at Luna. "Yeah. That reminds me, we should make Rose and Hermione defensive gear."

"How much for a copy?" Luna asked, giving him her best puppy dog eyes expression.

"That depends, what are you offering?" Puck asked, curious what she'd offer.

"Magic broom?" Luna offered.

Puck snorted. "I can buy one in Diagon Alley."

"Lightsaber?" Luna offered with a grin.

"Purple?" Puck asked hopefully.

"Deal," Luna said quickly.

Xander shook his head. "Have you found anyone else?"

"I checked on Dawn, she's bouncing around a space junkyard having fun." Tara quickly checked the rest of the group, a touch concerned when she couldn't find a few of their friends. "I can't find Darla, Drusilla, Joyce, Kendra or Oz. Fred is in McGonagall's office, Cordelia is having sex with a hot young woman on the same world as Giles who is currently running through a forest." She opened a door in front of Giles near the stream he was heading towards. "Do you need a lift?"

"That would be appreciated," Giles replied as he ducked through the door and looked around the room. "Have you found anyone else?"

"Willow said something about finding a bathroom but she might have gotten sidetracked with the library," Faith offered as she continued massaging Sabrina's shoulders.

"Dawn's safe, Ethan is fighting ninjas and Buffy is walking down a trail, she could probably use a lift." Tara closed the portal she'd used to grab Giles and opened a portal near Buffy.

Xander smiled when he saw Buffy. "Do you want a lift?"

Elizabeth stepped through the door and smiled at Xander then looked at Tara and the unfamiliar girl she was hugging? "Dawn?"

Tara smiled at Buffy. "Nope, this is my sister Rose Potter, Dawn is bouncing around an alien ship in a space junkyard."

"Space junkyard?" Elizabeth asked excitedly then shook her head, trying to focus on the people in front of her rather than the technology she was going to get to play with when they picked Dawn up. "Pleased to meet you." She glanced at Puck who was giving her a familiar smirk. "Spike?"

"Now and then, I'm going by Puck these days Buffy," Puck replied, still not sure how to feel about his 'new' memories.

"Elizabeth," Elizabeth corrected, trying to ignore the part of Buffy that was jumping up and down saying, 'He has a pulse!' in the back of her mind. "Any luck finding everyone?" she asked Tara, figuring she'd have time to sort out her personal issues later.

"I doubt Cordelia would appreciate the interruption right now and I can't find Darla, Drusilla, Joyce, Oz or Kendra. Fred is at Hogwarts and Janna is in a lab somewhere," Tara said, not sure why the woman with Janna looked the same as the woman Cordelia was having sex with.

"If Hogwarts is real, can I get a tour?" Nick asked, reminding everyone that there were other people around that weren't quite sure what was going on.

Tara considered the question for a couple of seconds then shrugged. "You'd have to dodge a cranky caretaker and everyone is still on edge from the duel, you might want to wait until we can ask the headmaster permission which could take a day or two."

"I have a taser," Luna said cheerfully, thinking about her version of Flitch.

"The young man has a point, we should probably head to the island and compare notes," Giles suggested, wanting a chance to catch up and trade stories before they borrowed trouble they didn't need.

"Island?" Sabrina Spellman asked.

"Dawn has a pocket dimension with a tropical island filled with magic users, you're welcome to come and relax for a couple of days," Xander offered.

"That sounds better than spending time in hell," Sabrina Morningstar suggested.

"I'm game," Nick offered, giving his Sabrina a smile.

"We're going to get in so much trouble," Rose muttered, fairly sure she was going to get a lecture from Hermione about breaking the rules without her.

"Don't worry, I doubt anyone is going to check on us until breakfast," Tara assured her, not particularly concerned about the staff at Hogwarts.

"Ginny might," Rose pointed out.

"Fair point," Puck said as he headed for the door to the reading room. "I'll grab her and the twins, they can keep a secret."

"What about your sister?" Rose asked, trying to avoid getting lectured.

"Nah, we'll just rescue her in the morning." Puck opened the door and headed into the common room to find Ginny and the twins, fairly sure the twins' reactions to the island's dress code would be good for a laugh.

Tara opened a portal near Willow in the library. "Do you want to stay here or come to the island for a strategy meeting?"

Willow bounced to her feet when she saw Tara. "The books aren't going anywhere."

Tara opened a door to Dawn's island. "Let's go."

0o0o0

"You don't have to do this," Lena pointed out, trying to ignore Kara's scowl. "They have no legal right to force you."

Janna sighed. "Relax, just think of it as a way to get peace of mind, I still have nightmares about what type of malware your asshole of a brother might have stuck in my head. I'm fine being your bodyguard, sex slave and mad scientist but I refuse to betray you and if there's a chance that I've been sharing secrets during blackouts, we need to know."

"Sex slave?" Supergirl sputtered, glad that she hadn't been drinking anything or it probably would have gone through the expensive monitor Lena had hooked her assistant up to.

"What? She's hot," Janna replied with a grin, wishing Lena had turned the lab's cameras on for this so she could replay the look on Supergirl's face.

Lena shook her head. "She's just messing with you."

"Joking and twisted mission directives aside, he used an alien cloning device he didn't fully understand when he created me. I happen to like tofu, that can't be normal," Janna joked, trying not to think about what she was going to do if he found something they couldn't fix.

"Point," Lena teased, trying to stay positive.

Janna stuck her tongue out at Lena then looked at the green skinned alien standing next to Supergirl. "Just make sure I'm not a ticking time bomb and no, this isn't permission for the DEO to snoop in my head. This is a very limited offer to make sure Lex didn't leave anything nasty in my head that would cause me to screw Lena over, understand?"

"Understood," J'onn assured her as he closed his eyes, reached out with his psychic abilities and started scanning her thoughts for anything that didn't belong.

"Sorry, we're just concerned," Supergirl offered.

"I know," Lena admitted, wishing she could just ignore her friend's headaches, blackouts and weird mood swings but knowing it wouldn't help.

J'onn looked a bit paler than normal when he opened his eyes after ten seconds. "We might have a problem."

0o0o0