Bad Genie, no Cookie (Patreon)

An: Two things, the first being that this is a free Christmas One Shot because it's the holidays and having something to read is good and because you're awesome.  The next is a general disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters or the unnamed character that might be recognized.  Either way, this was an amusing one shot idea.  If my SI seems a bit too lucky, he has a luck boosting perk/trait that nudges things.

Myst blinked as he found himself in a dark void, floating across from a nasty looking fifteen year old with platinum blonde hair with a blue skinned man that looked like a certain actor floating off to his left. "Huh, what's up?"

"This is the muggle that is going to be my rival?" the teenager sneered at the balding man in muggle clothes that didn't look like he'd trimmed his beard in a couple of months. "Piece of cake."

"Rival?" Myst asked, not sure he liked where this was going.

Genie gestured towards Draco. "The little shit found my lamp in a pawn shop and wished for ultimate cosmic power."

"He missed the part about no wishing for more wishes or itty bitty living space coming with cosmic power didn't he?" Myst asked, running his fingers along his pant leg. 'Yeah, I felt that, so much for dreaming.'

"Pretty much, which is why I offered him a deal, I'd give it my best shot if he could beat a muggle and if he couldn't, I'd go free," Genie replied with amusement.

"Sounds fair, what do I have to work with?" Myst asked, fairly sure Draco wasn't going to like the result either even if he won.

"You think you can beat me?" Draco asked in disbelief.

Myst shrugged. "Maybe yes, maybe no."

"I was thinking Gamer powers for both of you, with a slight handicap in that any experience you get he'll enjoy," Genie said, knowing the 'unfairness' would get Draco to agree and he needed him to actually agree to the deal. "That and you'll need to keep an innocent alive which gives Draco two targets and ways to win."

"In other words, he'll have an advantage in that the harder I work, the more power he'll get and I have to defend someone?" Myst asked, already figuring out ways to cheat and spike the little shit's day.

"It was his wish," Genie pointed out.

"Can I have a version of Hermione Granger?" Myst asked, figuring if he had to watch someone they might as well be competent.

"Fuck that, give him the most incompetent Ron Weasley you can find," Draco sneared. "It shouldn't be hard."

"Sounds fair," Genie lied, knowing it wouldn't matter in the slightest.

"I don't suppose you'd give me magic and send me through Hogwarts to even things up?" Myst asked with amusement.

"I'm afraid not, nice try," Genie replied with amusement. "I can't even give you any muggle guns or anything to even the score though he has consented to allow me to give you a simple non-magical wooden stick."

"I'd hate to kill an unarmed man," Draco lied.

"If I say no?" Myst asked, wondering if he could just walk away.

"I ask someone else and you go home, of course, no hard feelings and you'll wake up thinking this was nothing but an idle fancy. If you take the deal and deal with Draco within a year, you're free to keep everything you've earned," Genie offered.

"In that case, let's rock and roll," Myst replied, figuring it was a chance to pick up magic and that was worth the chance of dying, especially when all he had to do was kill a version of Draco Malfoy that seemed less than competent.

"Best of luck and kick his ass," Genie gestured and teleported both of the humans to an appropriate location.

Myst glanced around the old fashioned looking hotel room and laughed when he saw a chubby redhead in a bathrobe that was tied up on the bed with ropes and gagged with a pair of female knickers. "I'm not sure I even want to know."

[Ronald Weasley Lvl 1 Wizard]

"Yeah, that's completely useless," Myst muttered as he focused on summoning a status page, surprised when it appeared without him having to call for it or even focus all that hard on it. He stared at the skill list that took up most of the page and had an arrow button to flip pages. "Yeah, this is why you don't piss off your genie."

He looked at the much shorter trait list. "Poison Eater, immune to poisons. Experience Booster, one hundred times…" he trailed off as he read the rest of his various experience boosting traits that were overpowered enough that he was fairly sure most cheat characters would be screaming about him being OP and that he needed nerfing. "Okay, not only do I get a crazy amount of experience, I get experience for every skill when I level any skill? You really wanted him dead, didn't you?"

Myst turned to look at Ron when he started squirming more. "Not you." He focused on his inventory and smiled when an interface appeared. He walked over and took Ron's gag out, figuring Genie might have given him someone he could work with.

"Fucking untie me now," Ron ordered.

"Why are you tied up?" Myst asked.

"Harry is trying to steal my girl, if I don't dose her, look, just get me out of here and I'll give you gold. Muggles like gold right?" Ron asked, figuring it should be easy enough to get out and then track Hermione down before the love potion wore off.

"Dose? As in love potions?" Myst asked.

"Do you want some?" Ron asked. "I'm sure there's a girl that you like, people like us need to stick together."

"People like us?" Myst asked, not sure he actually wanted an answer.

"People without exceptional talent," Ron explained. "Look, just untie me and I'll conjure all the gold you want."

"Sounds," Myst punched Ron in the side of the head, knocking him unconscious and causing a book to appear in his inventory along with a used wand. "Nice, I don't have to pick things up, I wonder how that will work in groups?"

Myst pulled the book out of his inventory and looked at the title. "Stunners for Dummies? Could be worse." He opened the book and smiled when he got a popup informing him that he'd learned a stunning spell. "It's nice that the books don't vanish," he muttered as he picked Ron up by the ropes and tossed him in his inventory. "Thanks Genie, I might have felt slightly guilty if he wasn't a piece of shit."

He glanced around the room then walked over and searched Ron's bag, not particularly surprised to find that he was broke and that he didn't have anything worth stealing other than his expanded backpack. 'Harry or Hermione must have taken his wand with them.'

Myst blinked as a popup appeared. "Find Hermione Granger and Harry Potter in the Gold Rush Casino before Draco. 19:59. Great, I've got a fucking timer on my quests," he muttered as he focused on a map. He smiled as he saw two helpful map location indicators, one for his current location and another for the Gold Rush Casino. "At least it's just across the street."

He headed out of the door and stopped when he saw the street filled with people dressed in old fashioned clothes that looked expensive or at least high class, mixed with a bit of steampunk in a couple of cases. 'Where the fuck did you send me? Screw it, he's going to have a worse time.'

He looked through the rest of his menus as he followed his map to the Gold Rush Casino which seemed to have a lot of high class people coming and going. 'Huh, I have a save feature but I can only load a save once per save? What the fuck type of feature is that? Hmm, nothing says I can't save over it.'

He saved the 'game' in one of his three slots, hoping he wasn't going to have to use it but wanting it just in case Draco got lucky. 'Huh, there's a Gacha system built into my UI, one pull a day? Nothing about them getting better if I wait so, yeah, let's see what I get.' He pushed the button, slightly amused by the popup with the shaking present rattling around. He stared at the Jester's Cap that appeared.

[Mystic Jester Class awarded!]

Myst pulled up his class list and looked at his nearly maxed out Rogue class. 'Huh, that explains why I feel like I know how to sneak.' He glanced at his other classes, 'Bard, White Mage, Black Mage, Rogue, Barbarian and Knight, I can work with that.' He glanced over his Mystic Jester class. 'Mystic Concealment skill?' He quickly read the text for his new skill then swapped classes, figuring staying off Draco's radar was far more important for the moment than finishing off his Rogue class. 'Yeah, I don't think I'm changing classes for a while.'

He saved his game and closed his windows then continued towards the casino. He scowled slightly at the guard when the man stepped in front of him. "Problem?" he asked using Observe on the man.

[Bouncer level 56]

"We cater to people of wealth and means, come back when you don't look like a low life," the man stated bluntly.

"Fair enough," Myst muttered as he turned and headed towards the side door, fairly sure he didn't want to tangle with the man if his level was any indication. He smiled when he spotted a level 8 guard at the side entrance that looked to be in his late teens. 'Screw it, I really need to find Harry and Hermione.' He pulled his used wand out and pointed it at the man. "Stupify."

Myst was more than a little surprised when he actually managed to clip the man's head, mostly by accident and he went unconscious. 'Great, I'm going to have to figure out how the hell to boost my magic resistance or he's going to kill me before I know he's there.'

He glanced at his inventory. 'Keys and a belt that gives me a point of armor?' He blinked when he noticed he was 189 gold richer. 'Huh, he obviously had a side business of letting people in, can I get to a shop...' his musing trailed off as a shop window appeared in a popup window. 'Huh, that's useful.'

He quickly looked for the cheapest outfit that he thought would get him into the casino without being harassed. He bought a two gold pair of 'silk' pants and equipped them to replace his worn in jeans then used the keys on the door and walked into the casino near the restrooms. He smirked when his map page told him where to go to find Harry and Hermione. 'Shit, Draco probably has a quest for killing me which means I'm going to need something to fix that.'

Myst shook his head then headed into the casino proper, finding an old fashioned casino filled with rich people or people that desperately wanted to be rich. He worked his way through the crowd and stopped when he saw Hermione in a stunning red silk dress that clung to her curves standing next to an unfamiliar looking tall slender teenager with messy black hair in a dark black suit that managed to make him look distinguished rather than like a kid playing dress up.

He walked over to where Hermione was playing blackjack. "Harry?"

Harry flinched and turned to look at the man with a beard. "I think you have me confused with someone else."

"Does that mean you're not Harry Potter and Hermione Granger?" Myst asked quietly.

"How the hell did you…" Harry trailed off when he realized the stranger was wearing a modern day muggle coat, something none of the locals would have and that none of the Death Eaters would ever willingly wear. "Did Dumbledore send you?"

"Nope, but we do need to leave before Malfoy gets here with his goons," Myst warned them.

"Great," Harry muttered.

Hermione collected her winnings. "We've won enough, let's go somewhere quieter."

"Do you have a suggestion?" Harry asked.

"Not," Myst paused as he got another quest. 'Take Harry and Hermione somewhere safe, thieves guild safe house, decent hotel, Adventurer's Guild? Actually, that's not a bad idea.' He smiled as a plan started coming together. "Here, I've got an idea." He sighed as he got a quest to kill Draco that showed him outside with two more red dots. "I know a shortcut," he said as he headed for the other side of the casino, the side that just happened to be closer to the guild hall where he needed to get.

He did his best to keep out of line of sight but apparently Draco had a quest or something to kill Harry and Hermione or at least mess with them which made everything problematic as he could apparently track them. 'Sorry.' He unlocked the door then hit Harry in the back with a stunner then did the same with Hermione when she reached for her wand. 'You can punch me later,' he promised them as he stuck both of the teens into his inventory then made a dash for the stairs leading up to the second story, relieved when Draco stopped moving.

'That should keep him busy,' he mused as he headed down the hallway, wanting to put some distance between himself and Draco or his goons until he could figure out what he had to work with. He slipped into the shadows, practically vanishing from view as a maid opened a door. 'Yeah, that's new, probably from my Rogue class. Don't overthink it.' He slipped into the room while the maid was fighting with the cart. He hugged the wall and waited for the maid to close the door then headed over to the balcony and unlocked the door and slipped out, closing the door behind him. 'Okay, this should be easy, rogues do this all the time.'

He felt like saying a prayer to various pagan gods of luck when he saw a hay wagon parked almost under the balcony but figured he probably didn't need the attention. He saved his game, lined up his shot and jumped, slightly surprised when he managed to hit the right spot and it actually cushioned his fall and wasn't filled with pitchforks or something horrible. He slid down to the street and casually walked off as if jumping off a balcony was completely normal. 'Then again, maybe it is for this world.'

He quickly followed his quest to the adventuring guild. He smiled when he saw an entire collection of adventurers with Skulls over blank name plates, indicating they were far too high for his observe skill to tell him much of anything. He glanced around the room at the various sections then walked over to the section that was obviously for stealth types and looked at the shifty looking man in leather armor. "Where do I place bounties?"

The man raised an eyebrow. "That depends, what type of bounty?"

"I need a rapist and murderer dead," Myst replied.

"Ah, that type. Powerful? Well connected?" the man asked in a whisper.

"He's a magic user and has two guards with him, he shouldn't be all that high of level and I can tell you where he is," Myst offered.

"Define all that high," the man ordered.

"Less than five," Myst replied, knowing Draco might have leveled from the experience he got for hitting Ron and stunning the guard.

"How close?" the man asked with a raised eyebrow.

"They should be in the Gold Rush casino," Myst replied, hoping that wasn't a deal breaker.

The man smiled coldly. "One hundred gold and I'll take care of your target, I'm going to need a name."

"Draco Malfoy," Myst replied then hit the confirm button when a popup appeared asking him to confirm the bounty.

"Pleasure doing business with you," the man said as he headed for the door. "I'm going for a walk Frank."

The man behind the counter grunted then looked at Myst. "What type of work are you in?"

"I'm a writer, though I've been thinking about picking up a mage class, any advice?" Myst asked, trying not to freak out about the number of ways putting a hit on someone could go tragically wrong.

The man snorted. "You'd better have a decent amount of coin, spells aren't cheap and most people want to be DPS, at your age, if you haven't started, there's probably no point."

"Fair enough," Myst muttered as he opened his collection of skills and started looking everything over, trying to figure out what he had to work with. He wasn't even on his second page of skills when he got a notice that his quest to deal with Draco was complete. 'Skill awarded, World Walker?' He quickly looked at his new skill and stared in disbelief. 'That's complete bullshit, one quick bounty and I'm done?'

Myst quickly saved his game in his second slot then headed for the exit, figuring he might as well find a nice quiet place to release Harry and Hermione before he tried to figure out what he wanted to do with his new abilities.

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