Myst in DC Part 46 (Patreon)

Daniel pulled his attention off the table where Weir was eating with a couple of girls that were chattering in Alteran. “How many of the children actually speak English?” he asked in a whisper.

“What makes you think they can speak English?” Sabrina asked with amusement as she studied the archaeologist sitting across the table from her, curious where they’d screwed up.

“I’m a linguist and a translator. Besides, they’re snickering a bit too much at McKay not to understand his complaining,” Daniel replied in English.

“Fair enough,” Sabrina replied in English as Myst and Dawn walked into the cafeteria.

McKay turned and glared at Sabrina. “You speak English?”

“I can also speak Asgard if you’d prefer,” Myst offered as he walked over to the table the group was sharing.

“English would be easier,” Daniel replied dryly, knowing that the rest of the group didn’t understand Asgard.

Dawn smirked at McKay. “Technically speaking, you just assumed we didn’t speak English.”

“That’s because we’re in another galaxy,” McKay complained.

“That’s what you get for assuming,” Sheppard said with amusement as he turned to listen to the conversation.

“Where did you learn English?” Weir asked as she focused on Myst, happy to have someone to talk to that didn’t look like a teenager.

“Telepathy is useful when it comes to learning languages,” Myst offered as he leaned against a table.

“Does that mean you can read our minds?” Sheppard asked.

“Just because we can, doesn’t mean we’re going to, it’s generally considered rude to read a guest’s mind without permission beyond picking up a language,” Sabrina offered.

“Do you have any spare zero point modules?” McKay asked, not really expecting them to part with any but figuring he might as well ask.

“Let’s assume for a second that we do and that we’re willing to give someone we’ve just met a dangerous device that can be used to destroy entire worlds, what are you offering?” Sabrina asked, curious what they thought a ZPM was worth.

“Help with the Wraith, we might be able to broker a peace agreement,” Weir offered, not sure what else they could offer the people that had built the gates.

Dawn stared at Weir. “You want to broker a peace deal with creatures that treat humans as food, are you insane?”

“Have you tried?” Weir asked. “You might be able to find something else they can eat which would allow you to coexist.”

Myst shook his head. “Best case? They’d still treat people as fine wine, to be enjoyed on occasion and left in a wine rack the rest of the time. Worst case, they’d wipe out the remaining humans because they wouldn’t need them anymore. So, no, you’ll have to do better than that if you want a ZPM.”

“If they’re that hostile, why didn’t the Ancients destroy them?” McKay asked.

“McKay!” Weir snapped, wishing he’d use a bit more tact.

“What? It’s a valid question,” McKay complained.

“I could make an excuse about the Wraith outnumbering them, but the Ancients had a nasty tendency to run when they ran into issues they couldn’t solve with science,” Myst replied, not feeling all that charitable towards the Ancients.

“How about an exchange of cultural data?” Daniel asked.

“Sorry, if you want a ZPM you’ll have to offer something of worth, like a week of Carter’s time or putting me in touch with Jack’s clone so I can offer him a job,” Myst suggested.

“I’m sure something can be arranged,” Weir offered before someone could complain about them reading their minds, fairly sure that Carter would jump at the chance to come to Atlantis for a week even without a ZPM on the table.

Daniel frowned slightly as he tried to figure out where they’d heard about Jack’s clone, he certainly hadn’t been thinking about him and he hadn’t felt any type of mental contact.

“A week of Carter’s time is worth a ZPM?!” McKay sputtered.

Myst turned to look at McKay. “I need someone that can help me deal with a city filled with replicators without screwing up even once, and she’s dealt with them before. I need a way to shut down the entire gate network in the Pegasus Galaxy for twelve to eighteen hours without breaking it and I need someone that is familiar with Asgard systems that the Asgard trust, because I can fix their cloning issues, but that doesn’t help if I can’t get them to come to the table.”

“There are replicators in Pegasus?” Daniel asked warily, adding the fact that they might be able to help Thor to the growing pile of things to ask about later.

“The Ancients used human form replicators as expendable soldiers against the Wraith, and things didn’t go according to plan, which is why I’d like to figure out a safe method to remove their aggression codes without giving them the chance to go on a rampage and start wiping out all of the humans in the Pegasus galaxy.”

“Why would they do that?” Weir asked.

Myst turned to look at Weir. “Generally speaking if you kill an animal’s food, they’ll starve to death. I’m not sure what happened, someone deleted a decent amount of the records, I just know the Ancients weren’t able to completely destroy the replicators, which means they rebuilt and have spent the last 10,000 years rather upset with both the Wraith and the Ancients for the betrayal.”

“Which leaves us to clean up their mess,” Dawn grumbled.

“Why can’t you deal with it yourself?” McKay asked.

“My specialty is energy manipulation and enhancement, not replicator programming,” Myst explained as he conjured a ball of fire over his hand.

“How are you doing that?” McKay asked as he studied the ball of fire floating over Myst’s hand.

Myst tossed the ball of fire into the air and let it vanish. “I’d say magic but you wouldn’t believe me, so let’s just go with higher order energy manipulation.” He teleported up so that he was standing on the table that he’d been leaning against. “Speaking of psychic powers, do you want some?”

“You should probably avoid letting him use the ascension machine until we can invite one of their doctors to keep an eye on their vitals,” Sabrina suggested, looking forward to seeing what Dr. Beckett could figure out if he could actually read the ancient database.

“That might be for the best,” Weir said, feeling a bit out of her depth, having expected the typical ‘You’re not ready for our technology’ spiel that the SCG always seemed to get from races more advanced than they were.

“Is it safe?” McKay asked.

“Sure, there’s less than a one percent chance that your head will explode,” Dawn said helpfully, hiding her smirk.

“Funny,” McKay muttered after he realized she was probably joking.

“I thought so,” Dawn replied smugly. “How long will it take to find a ZPM so we can call Stargate command and get the ball rolling?”

Daniel made a mental note of the familiar turn of phrase, not sure if they’d picked it up via telepathy or if they’d had something similar.

“It shouldn’t take all that long, let me see what I can find in storage.” Myst focused on finding any ZPMs in the city that weren’t in use and used his clairvoyance ability, hoping he could find a partially empty ZPM to recharge. “Huh,” he muttered as he found two ZPMs in what looked like Janus’ lab from the show. “I’ll be right back.”

“Sure,” Sabrina replied as Myst vanished.

“Is he always in a hurry?” Weir asked.

“Only when he’s working,” Sabrina replied, knowing that Myst probably wouldn’t relax until they got back to DC.

Myst glanced around the ancient lab, a touch surprised how well everything had held up over the last 10,000 years despite knowing that the Ancients had built things to last. “Sorry about trespassing Janus but Earth sort of needs the ZPMs…” he trailed off as he noticed the blinking light on the Attero device control key and remembered that the remote was set to broadcast if anyone walked into Janus’s lab, likely to make sure Janus had plenty of time to run if they discovered his lab while he was at one of his research stations. “Shit, I was hoping to have a bit more time to deal with you.”

He walked over and grabbed the remote for the Attero device and stuffed it in his inventory, wanting to make sure the renegade Asgard couldn’t force anyone to activate it before he could shut down the stargates. While he was willing to write off any humans trapped on Wraith ships if it meant killing most of the Wraith and crippling their entire species, he wasn’t willing to blow up a bunch of stargates just because he was too lazy to temporary shut the gate network down while he turned on the device.

Myst turned his attention toward the two ZPMs on the shelf and looked at them with his upgrade ability, a touch surprised to find one of them nearly half full while the other was nearly empty. He twitched as he felt a presence in the room. “I don’t suppose you want to tell me what you were using the ZPMs for?” he asked, not really expecting a response.

‘I was testing to see if I could figure out a method of recharging empty ZPMs and I recovered the half full one from an outpost before I set the self destruct as the Wraith had discovered it,’ Janus replied mentally as he appeared in the room, taking advantage of Myst’s strange cloaking field to keep the rest of the ascended off his case.

“I could have sworn there were rules about interfering,” Myst replied as he focused on the glowing figure in the lab, not terribly surprised to find that he looked like he remembered from the show considering everyone else looked like their actors.

“Hypothetically, if we were having a conversation which we most certainly are not,” Janus smiled at Myst, “I wouldn’t be influencing your choices, just satisfying my curiosity. Besides, your cloaking field should keep the others from noticing that we’re having a conversation. The only reason I noticed you were here was because I noticed the change to my lab and I showed up in person to check.”

“In that case, what would you like to discuss?” Myst asked, willing to answer a couple of questions for one of the only Ancients had he actually respected.

“How much do you know about the ascended?” Janus asked, wanting to get a baseline.

“From what I understand, they’re basically creatures of energy that exist in a different dimension and have access to some interesting abilities that seem like magic to the rest of the world. I know they can retake a ‘mortal’ form if they want and that they have to lock away most of their ascended knowledge or they’ll fry their brains. I also know that despite their ‘rules’ against interfering in the ‘lower’ dimensions, they’re perfectly willing to leave Anubis in a half ascended form to torture the ascended he tricked into helping him ascend, never mind the massive amount of death and destruction Anubis has caused over the years.”

“For the record, I voted against that bit of stupidity,” Janus offered.

“Fair enough,” Myst agreed as he studied Janus with his upgrade ability, not terribly surprised to find out that it wasn’t worth bothering with as most of their tricks could be duplicated with magic and he didn’t want to have to deal with the rest of the ascended. “Hypothetically, would you be willing to descend and knock up the next generation of scientists in exchange for a ticket out of this dimension and a drastically enhanced base form?”

“How much can you upgrade my mortal form?” Janus instantly replied, trying to think of a reason not to leave and go somewhere he could actually learn new things and coming up short.

“That depends on how we want to enhance your abilities, I have an elixir that will increase your physical abilities but I’m not sure how useful that would be if you’re swapping back and forth to your ascended form, so we’d probably need something that alters your genetics like my bracelet that gives people an elven form.”

“Elven form?” Janus asked, unfamiliar with the term.

“Elves are basically pointy eared humanoids that can live for a thousand years and are slightly more agile on average than a human. They’re generally slightly less durable than humans but that doesn’t matter because the bracelet only changes things if they’d be an improvement. In other words, you wouldn’t lose any of your interesting mental powers or intelligence. From there, I’d toss a lot of energy into improving your memory.”

“Hypothetically, how would I get back?” Janus asked.

“I don’t have a problem leaving a traveling cabinet that can take you between worlds,” Myst offered, fairly sure he could ward the cabinet so that the Ori couldn’t find it.

“Is that how you’re planning on fixing the Asgard’s genetic issues?” Janus asked.

“Basically, it would give them a stable genetic structure and a decent upgrade in terms of strength and durability without any real downsides like diminished mental abilities or anything of that nature.”

“What are you looking for in exchange?” Janus asked, trying to get a sense of Myst’s personality before he descended and had to deal with him as a mortal.

“I wouldn’t mind getting a copy of some of their teaching programs for the children or talking them out of some of their outdated technology, but helping the Asgard so they can go back to helping the galaxy is more than enough payment.”

“That’s it?” Janus asked, surprised that he actually seemed sincere.

Myst laughed. “I’m not planning on staying in this dimension for more than a couple of weeks, just long enough to make sure the children have a fighting chance to grow into something extraordinary and to make a couple more transportation cabinets so that I can come back and check on things. I’m planning on dealing with the Asurans, Vanir and a decent percentage of the Wraith before I leave but obliterating the Wraith is a full time job.”

“What makes you think you’ll do better than we did?” Janus asked, wondering if he was arrogant or if he had a plan.

“Unlike 10,000 years ago, a fair amount are hibernating, which if I’m sneaky, I should be able to hit a decent percentage of the hive ships before they realize someone is hunting them, especially if I use the device from one of the worlds that creates a field that shuts down advanced technology.”

“Which would keep them from sending a message to the other hives,” Janus mused.

“In theory,” Myst agreed.

0o0o0

Sheppard stared in shock as a young boy tumbled backwards into the cafeteria holding something that looked suspiciously like a green lightsaber.

“Feel the wrath of Darth Princess!” shouted a preteen girl as she jumped into the room holding a pink lightsaber and wearing a sparkly silver crown.

“Never!” the boy declared as he rolled to his feet and blocked the pink blade with his green blade.

“What?” McKay asked numbly as he watched the two young children perform acrobatics that wouldn’t have been out of place in a Spielberg film.

“Precog, telekinesis, telepathy, that matches fairly well with ascended abilities,” Daniel mused, fairly sure that someone had seen Star Wars and were just messing with them, probably when they’d learned English, it would certainly explain the amount of practice they’d had as it was quite good.

“Shouldn’t we stop the fight?” Weir asked as she stared at the fight.

“Nah, they’re just using training sabers, they’ll be fine,” Dawn assured them, trying not to fall over laughing and ruin the joke.

“Kick his butt,” Sabrina called out helpfully.

“The forces of light shall be victorious…” the boy trailed off as his opponent stabbed him in the chest with her pink saber rather than let him monologue. “Ack, I have been defeated, most foul.”

“Shut up and die Jedi scum!” the girl teased as she pulled her training pink saber back as he slowly ‘fell’ to the ground, making a show of it.

“Jedi?” Daniel muttered, not sure if they were screwing with them or if they needed to have someone take a more in depth look at Mr Lucas’ background.

“Gasp!” one of the teenage girls that had been flirting with Sheppard said dramatically as she jumped up, pulled her training saber out of her pocket and flipped the switch causing a blue blade of light to ignite. “You fiend! I shall avenge my fallen brother’s cousin of the duke of evil’s childhood friend!”

“Wouldn’t that make them no one of importance?” Dawn asked with amusement.

“Bring it, the dark side has cookies!” the currently named Darth Princess said cheerfully as she raised her blade.

“Is everyone insane?!” McKay blurted as he watched the girls dance around the room, paying only a token nod to physics and gravity.

“I don’t know, it looks fun,” Sheppard said as he watched the teenager that had been flirting with him duel. “I wonder if she could beat Teal’c?”

“Maybe,” Daniel mused, sure Teal’c would love having a lightsaber.

“Is this common?” Weir asked as she watched the children duel.

“Welcome to dealing with children,” Sabrina said with amusement as she levitated the ‘fallen Jedi’ over to the table so that no one stepped on him as the girls jumped back and forth having fun.

“I don’t suppose you have extra training sabers?” Daniel asked hopefully, knowing the rest of the team would never let him hear the end of it if he didn’t ask.

“Of course,” Dawn replied, figuring they could always replicate a few.

The currently named Darth Princess pouted when she ‘lost’ her left arm, the practice blade causing it to tingle. “I shall not…” she trailed off as someone stabbed her in the back with a training saber. “You suck,” she grumbled as she slumped to the ground, playing along even if it was a dirty trick.

“I win again Sith!” the girl that had stabbed the current Darth Princess said cheerfully as she stole the crown from the former Darth Princess and dropped the crown on her twin’s head. “All hail the Princess of Naboo, may her reign be long.”

‘Someone saw Star Wars a couple too many times,’ Daniel thought with amusement.

“Shut up and kiss me,” the newly crowned princess told her twin.

“Of course, my lady,” she replied as she turned her lightsaber off then leaned in and kissed her twin.

“True love!” Dawn teased as the Darth Princess crawled away, staying in character by not using her ‘lost’ arm.

The newly crowned princess turned off her lightsaber then picked her twin up and headed back to the table. “Mission accomplished,” she said as she sat down and pulled her twin into her lap.

“Jedi, Sith? Naboo? Did you toss this together as a prank?” McKay demanded, fairly sure they were messing with him even if he couldn’t figure out how, as the duel had looked far too practiced now that he was thinking about it.

The girl shook her head. “Nope, the kids like pretending to be Jedi and Sith, of course, Anakin killed the last of the Sith so there’s not much point but that doesn’t make the game less fun.”

“Anakin Skywalker?” Sheppard asked.

“You’ve heard of the Hero Without Fear?” Dawn asked, doing her best to keep a smirk off her face.

“There’s no way,” McKay complained.

“Think of the first part of Star Wars,” Daniel suggested, tossing more fuel on the fire.

“In a galaxy far far away…” McKay trialed off as he realized that they needed to have a chat with a certain director.