Hermione and the Watch Part 13 (Patreon)

Harry was despite his best intentions a touch ‘impressed’ with the sheer level of corruption in the ministry. It wasn’t so much mustache twirling evil as it was a very well entrenched good old boy network of pureblood shit. Oh, your cousin got caught using obliviate on muggles for personal gain, it’s only muggles, pay a fine or even here’s a job in the obliviation department because he’s obviously good at it. Ex-dark wizard? Sure, we’ll just stick you in creature disposal because why not. He frowned as something Fudge’s head said to Hermione caught his attention. “Repeat what you just said.”

Fudge glared at the masked dark wizard that was standing in front of the entrance to the wizarding tent they taken him to. “I said we have a system of passwords to make sure polyjuice can’t be used to impersonate anyone important.”

“That’s it? Passwords?” Harry asked in disbelief expecting charmed rings or bracelets or something that only worked for the person in charge or some shred of competence. “You’re telling me that we could take a drink of polyjuice and walk into the ministry with your wand and none of the idiots would even question us as long as we had the proper passwords?”

“My trusted advisors know me, you’d never pull off the deception,” Fudge blustered.

Hermione rubbed her nose in frustration. She wasn’t sure which part bothered her more, the nepotism and favoritism, the corruption or the general level of incompetence. “I would have expected guards and defensive spells to keep people out of certain areas.”

“Do you have any idea how much money that would cost?” Fudge snapped.

“No, do you?” Harry asked in annoyance.

“No, I’d have to assign a committee,” he admitted. “But I’m sure they’d tell me that it would cost too much!”

“Not to mention an increase in security might stop people like Malfoy from stopping by for chats?” Hermione asked in disgust.

Fudge scowled. “Nasty business with the imperius curse, he was a good upstanding wizard.”

Hermione frowned as she looked at Fudge in disbelief. “I thought you told him not to lie?”

“I did,” Harry agreed. “Which means he’s managed to convince himself that his friend isn’t a mass murdering nutjob.”

“That’s a bit disturbing. I’m not sure if I should be relieved or annoyed.”

“Why?” Fudge demanded.

Hermione glared at Fudge. “I’d almost understand if it was just greed but that level of stupidity is disappointing. Is there a reason they didn’t just have the bastards swear a wizard oath that everything they said on the stand was true?”

“You can’t just demand wizard oaths for trivial allegations,” Fudge sputtered.

“Trivial?” Hermione demanded coldly. “They helped Voldemort kill hundreds of wizards that didn’t agree with his insanity and thousands of muggles!”

“There wasn’t any proof,” Fudge complained.

“You could have drugged them to the gills with veritaserum! Why don’t they use it?”

“Because it might expose family secrets and everyone has something to hide,” Fudge snapped.

“So, let me guess, you think Harry Potter just wants attention and lied about Voldemort?” Harry asked.

“Of course he lied, Voldemort is dead!” Fudge shouted a touch hysterically. 

“He’s really not, I could show you a memory but I doubt you’d believe me.”

“Memories can be faked!”

Harry scowled as he realized that Fudge was so far in denial that they weren’t going to be able to convince him of anything which meant the entire system was going to need some adjustment. “In that case, I’m going to need a list of the department heads and everything you know about them.”

“What are you going to do?” Fudge asked warily.

“I’m going to use polyjuice to look like you then I’m going to walk into Amelia Bone’s office and hand over everything you have on your department heads then I’m going to fire most of them.”

“You can’t do that! They’ll never believe you’re me!”

“I think you’ll find that the wizarding world is deeply stupid Fudge,” Harry replied as he walked over to the trunk where he’d put Lucius Malfoy’s second head. He opened the lid then reached in and picked up Lucius’s head by his hair and pulled him out of the silenced trunk.

“What did you do!” Fudge screamed as he saw his friend’s head mounted on a board.

“Same thing I did to you, I cut off your head and animated it so I could find out your secrets.”

Fudge screamed as everything slid into place, why he couldn’t feel his body and why he’d been answering truthfully.

“Yeah, stop that,” Hermione snapped.

Fudge stared at Hermione in horror as he felt his mouth close without his approval.

Harry smiled coldly as he walked over and set Lucius’s head on the table facing Fudge. “You’re going to tell Fudge all about your plans and how you manipulated him and about how Voldemort is in fact back from the dead. No lying, no shading the truth and answer all of his questions truthfully. I want him to understand how undeniably stupid trusting you was.”

“By your command,” Lucius complained then started filling the idiot in on just how stupid he was as well as everything he knew about Voldemort’s current plans. Despite the circumstances and his precarious position as an animated head on a board, it was a delight to watch the horror set in on the former minister’s face as he explained just what an idiot the man was.

Hermione wasn’t sure leaving Fudge with Lucius was the best idea in the world but she was tired of listening to the idiot. She reached down and picked up the expanded trunk she’d kept Malfoy’s head in and headed for the door. “Let’s go loot the ministry.”

“You can’t just loot the ministry! There are laws,” Fudge sputtered.

Hermione turned to look at Fudge. “You know, in some ways I have to thank you for opening my eyes. Before I got to Hogwarts, I used to believe in truth, laws, competent teachers and common decency. Sadly, you’ll find none of those things in the wizarding world.” She turned and walked out, leaving Fudge to sputter and Lucius to gleefully continue explaining why Fudge was an idiot.

Harry followed Hermione out then took off his mask. “Where are we going next?”

“The ministry, I want to listen to the prophecy that Voldemort is so interested in.” Hermione reached out and brushed Harry’s hair back from his scar with her free hand and winced as her finger brushed his scar and she felt a creepy sort of crawling cold. She whispered, “We really should do something about the dark magic left in your scar.”

“I’m open to suggestions but if Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey can’t fix it, I’m not sure what we can do,” Harry admitted softly as he half listened to the rising voices in the tent.

Hermione snorted. “Not give up. I have a couple ideas but I’ll need some equipment from my parents’ office.”

Harry looked at Hermione warily. “Aren’t your parents dentists?”

“Yes, which means they have access to local anesthetics that should numb the area around your scar so that I can work on it without you screaming.” Hermione smiled behind her mask as she flame teleported with Harry to her parents’ office.

Harry blinked as he looked around the nice looking office, it looked normal enough though he’d never actually been to a dentist just seen them on television and through a window. “Now what?”

Hermione set her trunk down then took her mask off and set it on the trunk. She walked over to the lightswitch on the wall as she explained, “Now, I ‘borrow’ some local anesthetic and we numb the area around your scar.”

Harry winced as Hermione flipped the switch and the lights turned on, illuminating the entire office. He still wasn’t sure how the watch could ‘freeze’ time or why you could manipulate certain objects like lights or gas stoves and have them work despite the fact that they really shouldn’t work if everything else was frozen. “Now what?”

“Once it’s decently numb, I’ll see what I can find out,” Hermione lied, knowing that he’d want to avoid having his scar cut off if given a choice. “I’ll be back in a minute, just hang tight,” she said as she headed into the back to grab the stuff she needed.

“Sure,” Harry muttered as he sat down on the trunk and tried to figure out their next move. ‘I should probably smash the prophecy sphere once I’ve listened to it.’ He smiled as he realized he should probably destroy all of the prophecies just to make sure no one traced things back to him. ‘We should probably grab all of their time turners and any other magical relics while we’re at it.’ He smiled as he pictured Fudge running around like a chicken with his head cut off trying to explain how someone had looted the ministry to the ground without them noticing anything.

Hermione flipped the main lights off as she walked back out of the office a couple minutes later. “Knut for your thoughts?”

Harry frowned slightly as he noticed that Hermione had come back empty handled other than her wand. “No luck?”

“I had a better idea,” Hermione replied as she pointed her wand at Harry. “A stunner should put you unconscious long enough to deal with the scar.”

Harry sighed as he got up and walked over to one of the arm chairs then flopped down. “Go for it before I cha...” he trailed off as Hermione flicked her wand at him and sent a stunner at him. 

Hermione smiled as Harry went unconscious. “Sorry, you might have objected to the next part of the plan. Considering how much head wounds bleed, I should probably move you.” She put her wand behind her ear then reached out and grabbed his arms and flash teleported with Harry to the sidewalk outside the clinic. She carefully lowered him to the ground, taking care not to bang his head even though any damage would regenerate.

“Let’s hope this works,” Hermione muttered as she pulled the set of pliers that she’d borrowed out of her pocket with her left hand. She carefully grabbed Harry’s scar with the pliers as best she could then drew her knife. ‘Hopefully you won’t wake up from this.’ She quickly cut a decent sized chunk of skin off her best friend’s head.

She stared in horror at the tangled mess of black threads twisted through the flesh around his scar. “What the hell?” It took her a couple seconds before she realized the watch had ‘frozen’ the curse. She grinned as she set her knife on the ground and pulled out a plastic bag she’d ‘borrowed’ from one of the offices then dropped the cursed flesh in it. She set the plastic bag on the ground then went to work scrapping at the area around Harry’s scar with her knife until she’d gotten all of the black threads. “Yeah, that’s a mess.”

Hermione sealed the bag then used her wand to clean up the area. She glanced around to make sure no one was watching and that no one had set up additional cameras that could see them. She reached into her pocket and pushed the button on her watch. She smiled as Harry’s wound vanished before her eyes leaving nice healthy looking skin with a slightly faded lightning bolt scar. She quickly tossed the bag and pushed the button on her watch as the black stuff in the back twisted and lurched toward Harry. “Bloody hell!”

Hermione stared at the floating bag in shock for a couple of seconds as she tried to figure out what the hell had been in Harry’s scar. She kept part of her attention on the cursed flesh as she pointed her wand at Harry and said, “Scourgify.” She smiled slightly as the blood vanished, leaving the sidewalk and Harry clean. “Enervate.”

Harry blinked as he found himself on his back looking up at the night sky. “What went wrong?”

“What makes you think there is anything wrong?” Hermione asked as she helped Harry to his feet.

Harry reached up and ran his fingers over his scar as he glanced around the area, it felt normal enough which was a relief. He frowned when he noticed the floating plastic bag with a large chunk of bloody flesh with black lines running through it. “The fact that I woke up outside on my back is a good start. Also what the hell was in my scar?”

Hermione scowled as she glared at flesh in the floating bag. “Some type of really nasty curse. When I unfroze things for a second to reset your health, it jumped at you.”

Harry sighed as he realized they could really use some extra help with everything or at least their less insane projects. “Sounds like something we should talk to Sirius about.”

“Probably should,” Hermione admitted reluctantly. “We can toss it to the end of the hallway then touch the watch to Sirius and click the button twice. Worst case he tries to take the watch because it’s a dangerous artifact.”

Harry snorted. “It’s Sirius, his idea of fun was running around with a werewolf. He’ll probably just want to help us prank people.”

“Point. I’ll be right back.” Hermione picked up the pliers then flash teleported to the back room to wash them off and stick them in the pile with the rest of the dirty tools.

“I really need to pick up flash teleporting,” Harry muttered to himself as he studied the bit of flesh sealed in the bag. “How the hell didn’t someone notice that?” He frowned as he realized they probably had noticed and just hadn’t been able to do anything about it. ‘Still, shouldn’t a basilisk fang and some phoenix tears have solved it? Then again, they might not have considered it worth the risk. At least I don’t have to worry about it anymore.’

0o0o0

Sirius jumped slightly as a floating plastic bag appeared out of thin air near the end of the hall. “What the hell?”

Harry tapped Sirius on his shoulder as he said, “Boo.”

Sirius twitched as he spun around and tried to grab his wand before he realized it was just Harry and Hermione. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Of course,” Harry lied with amusement as he handed Sirius his wand back. “You seem a bit stressed.”

Sirius glanced between the floating bag and Harry and Hermione. “What’s going on?”

“We need some help dealing with the leftovers of Harry’s scar,” Hermione explained as she pointed at the floating bag. “I’d avoid touching it.”

Sirius frowned as he walked closer to the bag. “Where did you get that?”

“Out of my scar,” Harry complained.

“That’s more than a little disconcerting,” Sirius admitted as he studied the cursed flesh. “Do I want to know how you healed a cursed wound?”

“Probably not,” Harry admitted.

“Right, in other words, you did something that Molly would scream at you for because it’s dangerous and reckless?”

“Pretty much,” Harry replied with a touch of a smile as he pictured Mrs. Weasley screaming about taking a knife to his scar.

Hermione said, “It’s contained for the moment but once the spell holding it wears off it is going to try to attack Harry.” 

Sirius frowned slightly as he thought about the cursed bit of flesh. “We’re going to need something decently impressive to destroy it or at least an empty area where I can try fiendfyre.”

“Would a basilisk fang work?” Hermione asked, wanting to avoid dealing with cursed fire if she could help it.

“It should, we could always ask Dumbledore what happened to the Basilisk in the Chamber...” Sirius trailed off as Hermione vanished in a flash of flame. “Huh, neat trick.” He looked down his nose at Harry. “Spill.”

“Officially? Nope, never happened,” Harry replied with amusement.

“Unofficially?” Sirius asked with a touch of amusement, thinking about about some of the times James had managed to bullshit his way out of getting in trouble.

“Maybe,” Harry admitted, rather amused about how well Sirius seemed to take them doing impossible things.

“So hypothetically, if someone wanted the ability to vanish via flames how would they go about acquiring it?”

Harry grinned. “Have a girlfriend that is a genius.”

“So that means you can’t help your poor Dogfather out?” Sirius asked with an obviously fake pout.

“Hypothetically, if such a thing were possible, it would have to remain a secret,” Harry pointed out, thinking about how much Molly would scream bloody murder at even the hint of them eating various magical creatures let alone a phoenix, never mind that no actual phoenixes were injured in the process of gaining fantastic powers.

“Of course,” Sirius replied with an exaggerated wink, rather curious where the hell Hermione had unearthed a spell that let her teleport via flames.

“Any news on the Order?” Harry asked.

“Nothing of any real use,” Sirius complained. “You?”

“Not particularly, I’ve been studying and trying to keep my head down considering Fudge’s baseless slander and Umbridge. I’m hoping the next Defense teacher will be better.”

“They can’t be much worse,” Sirius agreed as Hermione reappeared in burst of flames holding a large fang in her dragonhide glove. “Do I want to know how you got into the Chamber of Secrets that quickly?”

“Traveling by fire has some advantages,” Hermione replied with a grin.

“How much of it was left?” Harry asked, wondering how much of snake Dumbledore had sold.

Hermione sighed. “Dumbledore or Snape skinned it, cut out some organs, grabbed a couple fangs and left the rest to rot.”

“Seems like a waste,” Harry complained thinking about Snape getting rich off his work.

Sirius shook his head. “Other than the fangs and the hide, most of it isn’t worth anything to anyone that you’d want to sell it to. A lot of it is used in some pretty dark rituals.”

“Fair enough,” Hermione replied as she walked over to the floating bag with the cursed flesh in it. “You should probably head to the end of the hall just in case you need to summon your patronus.”

“Good idea,” Harry replied as he walked down the hallway and drew his wand.

Sirius eyed the cursed flesh warily. “Where do you want me?”

“Back up a bit.” Hermione reached one hand into her pocket and grabbed her watch then brought the fang close to the flesh. She unpaused time then stabbed the cursed flesh as the darkness lunged toward Harry.

Sirius winced as the darkness screamed and broke apart as the venom dissolved it. “What the hell was that?”

“It was in my scar,” Harry complained.

Hermione pushed the button again when Sirius turned to look at Harry, freezing Sirius in place. “At least the curse is gone.”

“It’s certainly a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t even know I had.”

Hermione reached out and touched the watch to the back of Sirius’s hand and pushed the button then quickly put it back in her pocket while he was distracted. “That worked better than I was expecting. Speaking of, do you have somewhere to put the fang before it eats through my glove?”

Sirius forced himself to smile as he nodded. “Yeah, I have a couple goblin silver goblets around here, I’ll go find something. You should probably get back to Hogwarts before you’re missed.”

“Yeah, I’d rather not give someone more reason to pay attention to our dates,” Harry replied with a grin as they followed Sirius toward the drawing room to see what they had in the way of containers for the fang.