Mist's Jumps Part 47 (Patreon)

Mist smiled absently as he flipped through the fantastic beasts book looking at the professional illustrations of attractive if scary looking naked monster girls while he waited for the girls to finish their book shopping, he was just glad that Hermione was spending time with her alternate and her alternate’s parents or they’d never finish shopping. ‘Centaurs, shape changing intelligent dragons, sexy dryders that apparently replaced acromantulas, sexy looking goblins that look like the ones from Warcraft, catgirl kneazles, decent looking mermaids, cute naga, centaur like nundu, yeah, because that’s reasonable or required.’ He flipped through the rest of the book, ‘Naughty pixies, trolls and green skinned witches, yeah, definitely the result of a twisted mirror.’

Wendy walked over carrying a basket of books. “Find anything interesting?”

“Shape changing intelligent dragons, naga, catgirls, dryders and trolls.”

“Cool, I might have to get some scans for making alternate nymph mirrors.”

Mist shook his head. “Too much information.”

“Like you weren’t considering it,” Wendy complained.

“True enough.” Mist was looking forward to grabbing some decent looking mermaids for his island and maybe even some dragons if they weren’t insane or evil.

“Joking aside, how are you planning on recruiting this world’s Hermione?”

“Same way I recruited the other Hermione, offer her a place at the school. I’m planning on doing the same with Luna, Tonks and some of the Weasleys if they want to come. If nothing else, I’m planning on scanning Hogwarts and relocating this world’s version of my school to my world.”

“So you can teach the channelers?” Wendy asked as her mother walked over holding a book.

“Pretty much.” Mist smiled at Poppy. “What’s up?”

Poppy held up the history book she’d been reading. “I figured out what happened to Voldemort in this world.”

“Oh?”

“Lord Richard Potter ripped him apart in a duel on Halloween when he attacked the family castle ten years ago.”

“Richard Potter?” Mist asked curious if he was related to the man.

Poppy shrugged. “Elves live a long time, Richard Potter was the lord of the Potter family, your alternate’s great great grandfather and a very scary battlemage.”

“How scary?” Wendy asked curious about someone that could take Voldemort in a fight.

“Voldemort brought three dozen of his best, they were dead within five minutes of crossing the border of his land. According to the stories they only lasted that long because Richard wanted to finish his drink. Either way, Richard ripped them apart with storms of lightning, fire and blood or at least that’s what happened according to the witnesses.”

“He left some of them alive?” Mist asked in surprise.

“No but his family was there and tales were told over drinks.”

“Ah, that explains things.”

Poppy said, “The aurors found Voldemort staked to the ground screaming in agony while he finished burning to death when they showed up an hour later.”

“That’s a bit…” Wendy trailed off not sure if that counted as drastic or not.

Mist shrugged. “Sounds fair to me.”

“It gets worse,” Poppy admitted.

“Worse?” Wendy squeaked.

“Every single marked death eater died screaming, burned alive with their master.”

Mist had a feeling the ministry hadn’t taken the death of so many ‘upstanding’ members of society well. “Sympathetic magic is a bitch.”

Poppy sighed. “There was never any proof but yeah.”

Wendy asked, “How did the ministry explain that?”

“Officially it was obviously Voldemort’s vault, unofficially they left the Potters the hell alone.”

“Seems reasonable.” Mist could understand why the ministry would be happy to blame everything on Voldemort, it was neat and tidy and didn’t cause them to die horribly.

“So, Lily and James survived?” Wendy asked.

“Yep, along with their daughter Marie Lily Potter-” Poppy waved her hand at the shelf as she said, “Shelf!” and orbed the shelf into the path of a glowing green spell flying at Mist’s back.

Mist raised his hand as he spun then blasted the dark wizard that had tried to kill him with a stunner. “Okay, seriously, what the hell?”

Wendy tossed up a shield as various wizards started running and screaming as more dark wizards opened fire on them. “Shit!”

Mist reached into his pocket and pushed the button on his watch. He glanced around the shop at the various scruffy looking wizards and spells that were frozen in time. “Seriously? I’m in a different world, I shouldn’t have dark wizards after me.”

Poppy snickered. “You’re the one that took the flaw.”

Wendy said, “They’re probably Grindelwald’s group.”

Sarah snickered as she walked up. “You’re the one that was trying to cheese the system Dad.”

Mist turned to look at Sarah. “Point.”

“What do you want to do about the idiots?” Paige asked as she glanced around.

“Knocking them out is probably a good start.” Mist glanced around the bookstore as he pulled his grimoire out of his inventory. “On second thought, we might as well make copies of everything we need or want to wander off with before we worry about the wizards considering I doubt they’re going to be all that happy with us for bringing trouble down on them.”

“Not exactly our fault but I doubt they’ll see it that way,” Poppy complained.

“Probably not,” Mist replied as he touched his grimoire to one of the books and let it copy it.

“That gives me enough time to strip the dark wizards for loot.” Sarah smiled as she headed over to the closest dark wizard and took his wand out of his hand.

Poppy shook her head. “Where did I go wrong?”

Paige laughed. “No idea, it seems reasonable to me.”

“Striping them sounds reasonable?”

“When anything they’re wearing could be a portkey? It sort of does.”

“Point,” Poppy admitted as she worked on disarming the various dark wizards.

Mist ignored the chatter as he worked on copying the various books into his grimoire. He made a mental note to sneak into several family libraries and copy them before leaving.

0o0o0

Aerial yawned as she studied Pandora’s family that had decided to invite themselves over while they were having breakfast. Jack was certainly handsome and Lisa and Anna looked enough alike to be twins. “How many half siblings do you have?”

“A lot,” Pandora admitted with amusement.

Lisa snickered. “We’ll probably get more if Auntie Sin has her way.”

Jack sighed. “Don’t remind me.”

“Sin?” Hermione asked.

“My mother is a succubus.”

“Your mother is a demon?” Aerial asked in surprise.

He shrugged. “More or less, don’t worry she doesn’t eat souls or anything she’s just a bit of a sex fiend.”

Anna snorted, “That’s like calling Niagara Falls a bit of a waterfall.”

“Technically it’s a waterfall.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t change the fact that you’re trying to imply that she isn’t a hell of a lot of fun in bed.” Anna snickered at the look of annoyance and general ick on her half brother’s face.

“Embarrassing?” Hermione asked as she set her fork on her empty plate.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Jack admitted.

Pandora decided to take pity on her brother at least enough to change the subject, “So, where are we going?”

Anna piped up, “I want to get a scan of the Doors of Durin in the Lord of the Rings.”

“Just as long as you stay the hell away from the One Ring.”

“Oh please, I could shit better magic items than that corrupted piece of plot device.”

“Plot device?” Aerial asked.

Anna shrugged. “The only thing we ever see the ring do is grant invisibility and corrupt people into thinking they can use it to take over the world. Maybe has other powers but I have better things to do with my time than try to rule a world in a book. Besides, the ring only has one master and I’m not Sauron.”

Pandora glanced her half sister. “Point.”

“I wouldn’t mind getting some scans of Moria,” Lisa agreed.

Hermione turned to look at Lisa. “Isn’t there a Balrog in the mine?”

Pandora rubbed her hands together as she grinned. “And orcs. I’ve never killed a balrog before, it should be interesting.”

Aerial shivered slightly as she thought about the giant demon of fire she half remembered from one of Hermione’s stories. “Isn’t that dangerous?”

Jack shook his head. “I doubt the balrog could actually hurt Pandora, sadly we’d probably screw things up if we killed the balrog, Gandalf wouldn’t get his epic thou shalt not pass speech and rebirth as a more powerful wizard which would likely cause problems later.”

“We could just kill the asshole white wizard,” Pandora pointed out.

“There is a whole list of things we could do to improve the world but it’s a book, I’d rather not be stuck here for months or years.”

Pandora sighed. “What if we just sneak in so I can scan a balrog?”

Anna shook her head. “If I don’t get to scan the one ring, you don’t get to scan a balrog.”

Hermione shook her head. “How are you planning on slipping past the group without being seen?”

“Other than Gandalf, I doubt the group has a chance of noticing us if we cast an invisibility spell.”

Lisa said, “I doubt the wizard would notice, he’s a bit distracted trying to figure out how to open the doors.”

“Worth a try, worst that happens is we leave.” Pandora held her hand out toward Anna. “Do you have a copy of the book?”

Anna shrugged. “Nah, I was planning on grabbing a copy at the bookstore.” 

Lisa snickered. “This is going to be awesome.”

Hermione rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Okay, let’s do this before I change my mind.”

Pandora gestured and turned the group invisible to everyone else then orbed them to the bookstore. “Okay, let’s find the book.”

0o0o0 

Wendy glanced at her father as he tossed yet another elvish dark wizard through the portal to the empty world they were using as a dumping ground. “You’re smiling.”

“Why shouldn’t I smile?” Mist asked as he picked up the last dark wizard they’d stunned by the back of his robes.

“Because we keep getting attacked?” Wendy asked absently as her father tossed the elvish wizard through the door.

He let the door close then turned to look at Wendy who was leaning against the wall of the alley. “I’m just in a good mood.“

Poppy snickered. “You’re just happy that Hermione and her family agreed to jump worlds with us.”

“Not to mention Bill, Charlie, Ginny, Fred and George Weasley decided that having to put up with their mother for another couple of centuries was a good reason to jump dimensions for a while.”

Poppy snickered. “I can’t really blame them, she’s a bit of a control freak.”

Sarah piped up, “More than a bit.”

“How long are we going to collect elven wizards and witches?” Wendy asked.

Mist said, “No idea, Tonks has some friends she wants to talk to about jumping ship and I want to talk to the Potters about moving to the island.”

“Do you think they’ll go for it?” Paige asked.

“Considering we can offer them access to new magic and immortality, probably. Even if I can’t get them to jump with me, I can probably talk them out of a copy of their family library considering I’m a Potter. That’s assuming they believe me.”

Sarah snickered. “On that note, we should probably send a clone to talk to them.”

“As soon as Tonks gets back, she said she’d talk to Sirius about swinging an introduction.” He’d rather avoid annoying the clan by showing up unannounced.

“How many Hermiones are you going to recruit from various worlds?” Poppy asked thinking about the cute elven version of Hermione they’d recruited.

“No idea, I have a feeling Hermione and Puck are going to want to rescue a couple alternate versions from horrible worlds and I’m fairly sure a few of the girls want some but we’ll see how it goes.” Mist wasn’t all that worried about recruiting various versions of Hermione as long as they made sure Voldemort was dead and or recruited the local Boy or Girl That Lived. 

Paige said, “Speaking of ideas, we should probably hit the muggle bookstore, they’re bound to have some interesting works of fiction considering the wizarding world is basically an open secret.”

“It’s worth trying,” Mist agreed as he opened a door to the alley behind the muggle bookstore. “Let’s go take a look then we’ll get some lunch.”

“Works for me,” Poppy agreed with amusement.

Wendy shook her head. “If we get jumped again, I’m blaming Dad.”

He laughed. “Fair enough.” As much as he was trying to laugh about the various dark wizards coming out of woodwork to attack them, he was getting a little tired of it. He figured he’d let Pandora have some fun while he finished recruiting the Potter clan then finish killing Voldemort and jump so the random attacks would stop. After that he wasn’t sure what he was going to do, probably an end jump or something suitably awesome and impressive.

0o0o0

Pandora pulled her friends into the book then twitched as several massive tree trunk sized luminous green tentacles ripped a pair of large trees out of the ground and toss them in front of the gate she wanted to scan. “Fun.”

Aerial gasped as she stared in shock at the massive tentacles that were probably only part of a massive monster. “How the hell are we supposed to kill it?”

Jack tapped into his projection power as several tentacles twisted and lunged toward the group and caused the creature’s main body to explode as he snapped his fingers. “Like that.”

Hermione stared in shock as the earth shook and the lake turned into a bubbling mess of green sludge. “What the hell?”

“Anyone for fried squid?” Lisa asked with amusement as she scanned one of the faintly glowing tentacles that was flopping around.

Aerial kept her eyes on the faintly glowing flopping tentacles as she replied, “Not a chance.”

Hermione stared at Jack. “You killed a legendary monster by snapping your fingers?”

Jack shrugged. “More or less.”

Anna snickered. “That and magic.”

“We could have scanned that,” Lisa complained good naturedly.

Jack snorted. “Yeah no, there are plenty of nice tentacle monsters you can scan in various books if you’re into that.”

“Into what?” Aerial asked in confusion.

“Moving on, let’s scan the door then get out of here,” Pandora suggested as she walked over to the trees that were partially blocking the door and started scanning it. She was looking forward to having a pattern for a metal that only showed up under starlight and moonlight. 

Hermione shook her finger at Jack. “None of that.”

Jack playfully stuck his tongue out at Hermione.

Aerial glanced between Hermione and Jack, knowing she was missing something but deciding that she probably didn’t want to know after all. “Where are we going next?”

Pandora said, “I sort of want to go exploring the local multiverse which means we should probably grab a nymph copy of Aerial and Hermione’s friends from the knight book and some of the better witches from the naughty adventure book.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Jack agreed.

0o0o0

Mist ideally wondered if he’d been cursed with living in interesting times as Dumbledore and Fawkes appeared in the graveyard in a burst of fire. “Gah! You’re on fire…” he trailed off as he noticed Dumbledore’s raised eyebrow and amused expression. “Not buying it, eh?”

Dumbledore smiled slightly as he studied the young man in his late teens that looked remarkably like James. “I’m afraid not, though I’ll give you a three out of ten for the attempt.”

“Three out of ten?” Mist sputtered.

“You didn’t jump with surprise, stare at Fawkes or even bother looking scared. Besides, you look like James Potter other than your eyes are blue.”

“Fine, you got me, I’m not a muggle, happy?”

“I’d be happier if you were somewhere safe Harry.”

“Safe? I’m perfectly safe…” he trailed off as another group of dark wizards appeared as if by magic. “Fucking really?” Mist asked, a touch annoyed that the universe had chosen that particular moment to drop a group of dark wizards on him.

One of the wizards sneered at Dumbledore then demanded in a thick Russian accent, “Give us the kid and you can walk away.”

Dumbledore looked down his nose at the Russian wizard. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to protest.”

Mist snapped his fingers, tapped into his projection power and put all of the dark wizards to sleep. “As I was saying, I’m perfectly safe.”

Dumbledore blinked in surprise as all of the dark wizards collapsed like puppets with cut strings. “How the hell?”

“Magic. To be more precise, a simple sleeping spell.”

“What happened to your relatives?” Dumbledore asked warily.

Mist shrugged. “Last I heard my aunt was at a neighborhood meeting and my cousin was in his room when I left, why?”

“Because your aunt Marge is dead and Vernon and Dudley are missing and presumed dead.”

“The bitch is dead? Awesome, best birthday present I’ve ever gotten.”

Dumbledore shook his head. “I’m sorry you feel that way about your relatives.”

“Let’s get something clear, the only Dursley I’m related to is Dudley. It’s not my fault my aunt married the piece of shit you call Vernon and I’m certainly not related to his bitch of a sister. I’d say good luck finding them alive but I’m really hoping they’re dead.”

“Harry…” Dumbledore trailed off not sure what to say.

“Don’t give me that, I have scars or at least I had scars from that bitch’s dogs before I healed them. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have more important things to do than talk to a meddling old man and a phoenix, no offense Fawkes.” Mist opened a door to the island and started tossing the unconscious dark wizards through.

Dumbledore stared at the portal in shock. “What is that?”

Mist had to resist the urge to laugh at the look on the old man’s face. “It’s a portal spell, I’m tossing them to another world where I don’t have to deal with them.”

“Where did you learn that?”

“It’s amazing what you can learn from a nymph,” Mist replied with amusement.

“You can’t just banish people to another dimension without a trial Harry.”

“Really? Watch me.” Mist gestured and orbed the rest of the dark wizards through the door then closed it. He had one of his duplicates that wasn’t talking with the elven Potters orb to the island to start turning the idiots into house elves.

Dumbledore stared at Mist in growing horror. “What happened to you?”

Mist snorted. “I spent almost a decade living with the Dursleys, I lost count at how many times they tried to kill me. Thanks for that by the way,” he complained sarcastically as he turned and looked at Lily’s grave. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to feel about this world’s Lily and James, he was this world’s Harry Potter and yet he wasn’t. Maybe leaving them dead would have been the better choice but they’d been happy enough getting brought back to life in the story unlike a certain Slayer so he didn’t see a reason not to bring them back.

“It was either the Dursleys or the Ministry would have assigned a guardian so they could control you.”

“Better than having my ‘family’ continually trying to kill me.” Mist used his x-ray vision to look through the earth and the coffin. ‘At least no one dug them up to turn into zombies.’ He swapped back to his eleven year old form as he cast his resurrection spell on Lily. He watched the coffin fill with light then orbed her onto the grave. “Hey look, a miracle.”

Dumbledore stared in shock as Lily appeared with a flash of light, looking healthy and very much alive. “What did you do?”

“Nothing, Voldemort obviously put her to sleep. It’s not my fault the people that checked her body were idiots.” Mist turned and smirked at Dumbledore.

Lily turned to look at Dumbledore and Mist as she tried to blink the crap out of her eyes. “What’s going on? James?”

“I’m afraid not, Mum.”

“How?” Dumbledore asked in confusion.

“I was dead…” Lily trailed off as she got most of the gunk out of her eyes.

Mist shook his head. “No, you were obviously just asleep for ten years.”

Lily snorted as she got to her feet. “I remember watching over you, try again.”

“Are you sure? Blaming everything on Voldemold would be easier, way less paperwork...” he trailed off as Lily stepped forward and pulled him into a hug. “Maybe I didn’t think this through, you stink.”

“Tough,” Lily gave him one last squeeze then stepped back so she could look at her son. “Spill.”

“Would you believe me if I said I was the reincarnation of a minor god?” Mist asked teasingly.

“Great, he inherited James’s broken sense of humor,” Lily complained absently as she glanced around the graveyard. “What about James?”

“If you want I can bring him back.”

Dumbledore rubbed his nose in frustration. “You can’t just bring people back to life Harry.”

“Please,” Lily replied firmly.

“Of course I can, it’s easy.” Mist turned and looked at his father with x-ray vision then resurrected him and orbed him out of his grave.

James sputtered, “I need a shower.”

“Yeah, you stink.” Mist snickered at the look on James’ face. It was sort of amusing how much he resembled this version of James or rather how much James resembled him.

Dumbledore briefly considered conjuring a couple of pints of Scotch and seeing if he could get drunk enough that the world made sense again then decided it probably wouldn’t help. “How many people can you bring back?”

“As many as I want and no I’m not teaching you the spell though I’d be happy to bring your sister back to life if she wants to come back….” Mist trailed off as another group of dark wizards appeared. He gestured and dropped all of the dark wizards unconscious before Dumbledore could draw his wand. “I’m getting really tired of dark wizards showing up everywhere.”

James stared at Mist. “How… what is going on?”

“Do you want the long answer or the short answer?” Mist asked as he opened a door to the island where his temporary duplicate was busy turning the previous group of wizards into female house elves with the knock off Loliblade.

“Short…” James trailed off as he turned and saw a duplicate of his son stick a bracelet on a house elf that changed the house elf into a hot female elf. “On second thought let’s go with long.”

“In that case…” Mist trailed off as Pandora orbed in with two dozen unfamiliar teenage girls, Sirius and a girl that looked like Hermione had when she was fourteen. “You could have called first.”

“Where is the fun in that Dad?” Pandora asked with amusement.

“Sirius?” James asked in surprise.

“More or less,” Sirius admitted as he stepped forward and pulled James into a hug despite the fact that his friend’s alternate stunk.

Aerial asked, “Mum?”

Lily glanced between Mist, Jack and Aerial. “Someone needs to start explaining things, now.”

Mist sighed as he changed back to his teenage form. “To make a very long story short, my friends and I can jump dimensions. Aerial is from a dimension where you had a daughter rather than a son.”

Pandora snorted. “Yeah, you’re skipping the fun bits Dad. What he’s not saying is time doesn’t always flow at a constant rate which means he’s a fair bit older than he looks.”

“How much older?” Lily asked warily as Sirius let go of James.

Mist gestured and orbed the unconscious dark wizards through the door then let it shut. “At least a couple of decades.”

“We missed decades of your life?” Lily asked in shock.

“Depends on how you look at it,” Mist admitted as he orbed the group minus Dumbledore to his island. “Let’s get something to eat…” He trailed off as Dumbledore appeared two seconds later in a burst of flame. “Seriously, what the hell does it take to get rid of you?”

“More than apparating to a tropical island, I’ve got questions,” Dumbledore replied with a twinkle in his eyes.

“You stuck me with the Dursleys for ten years, you’re lucky I don’t set you on fire old man,” Mist complained.

“Which we’ll get to after we get cleaned up and something to eat,” James agreed with a glare at Dumbledore.

Lily glanced around the very nice beach then over at the concrete bathrooms. “I don’t suppose the bathrooms have showers?”

Mist turned to look at the bathrooms one of the kids had built. “Maybe? If not there should be a shower to wash the salt off on the other side of the bathrooms.”

Pandora conjured two bars of soap, washrags, t-shirts and pairs of shorts then handed them to Lily. “No point putting on filthy clothes.”

“Thanks,” Lily accepted the clothes then headed toward the bathrooms.

Jack glanced at the nymph girls they’d ‘recruited’ from the twisted Hogwarts and the knight book. “We should probably get the girls registered for classes.”

Lisa glanced at Anna. “We’ll take care of it.”

“Anything to get away from the drama,” Anna agreed as she gestured for the girls to follow her to the school.

“Registered for classes?” Dumbledore asked as the mob of teenage girls followed the dark haired girl.

“My island has a magical school,” Mist replied with amusement.

“I see, so no chance of getting you to go to Hogwarts then?” he asked hopefully.

Mist blinked a couple of times as he realized the old man was actually serious. “Considering your defense teacher is working for Voldemort, your history teacher is a boring ghost that can’t keep his students straight and your potions teacher is an asshole, not a chance.”

“I see,” Dumbledore admitted.

Mist conjured a chair and took a seat, no reason not to be comfortable while he waited for Lily and James to get cleaned up. “You’re free to leave or stay considering Lily and James didn’t try to kill you yet though that might just be because they don’t have their wands on them. I should see about fixing that.”

Sirius laughed at the look on Dumbledore’s face. He was just glad that Dumbledore was higher on their shit list than he was, going off like a lunatic to grab Peter was at least understandable compared to sticking a child with the Dursleys.