Traveling Magic Shop Part 22 (Patreon)

"Huh, nice combination," Myst told Rose after checking the sheer blue shirt with a backwards S on it that Rose had put on the counter for him to check. "The costume's Flight ability got an upgrade but the brute rating and force field dropped down to a third of what they were."

"That's fair, it's barely a third of a costume," Amy pointed out, wishing she'd ended up with pants and a shirt rather than the sheer dress that she'd ended up with when she'd combined her costumes.

Rose glanced at the backwards S on her shirt. "Am I going to end up mutated if I wear it?"

"Why would you end up mutated?" Taylor asked, not taking her attention off the trading card that had the incantation for a sleep spell that she was trying to learn.

"The S flipped, that's never a good thing," Rose complained, thinking about Bizarro.

"Everything checks out, it just flipped the pattern," Myst assured her. "Combining the costumes shorted out the changer rating, you'll get Rogue's lock of white hair but you're not going blonde and your face isn't going to change."

"What about the villain costume?" Rose asked.

"Nothing, you'll just have to grab a replacement and learn to use the whip," Myst replied with a shrug, not particularly impressed with the villain costume.

"What about Amy's outfit?" Vicky asked.

Myst checked the other costume on the counter. "The brute rating and her force field dropped to a fifth of what they were but she picked up freezing eye beams and the Flight had the same type of upgrade as Rose's costume."

Vicky shook her head. "That's unfair, I need a blaster rating."

Amy shook her head, thinking about the collateral damage her sister would probably cause with a blaster rating. "It’s for the best."

"I can be responsible," Vicky complained.

"The fact that you knew where I was going with that says a lot and nothing good," Amy teased her sister. "Am I going to need a mask or did it keep the changer rating?" Amy asked, hoping that her face wouldn't change so she could wear her costume under her regular costume.

"You'll end up with blue eyes and a bit more in the chest department while you're wearing the costume but your face should be close enough that you'll probably want a mask if you're trying to keep your identities separate," Myst warned her.

"Good, that means I can wear the dress under my actual costume," Amy replied, glad that she'd be able to worry about random nutjobs attacking her in the ER a lot less.

Vicky glanced at the door to the game room. "We should probably get changed and head out before Armsmaster takes the booth apart."

"Give me a minute to upgrade Rose and Amy's costumes, they're not dying on my watch," Myst told them as he worked on upgrading their force fields and durability. "I'll upgrade the eye beams of doom when you get back, that way you'll have some practice before I boost them."

"Sounds good," Amy agreed, wanting a chance to get a handle on things before he cranked things up to eleven.

0o0o0

"Foolish heroes, I am Perdition, Lord of the Underworld and you shall not pass!" Cody shouted at the gathered heroes that had come to ruin his final project, unwilling to be defeated by a bunch of bargain bin heroes with costumes that looked like something a nine year old would make.

"Dude, we're not trying to pass, we're trying to fucking kill you," one of the heroes complained as he conjured a black void the size of a soft ball.

"I'm curious, did you piss someone off in the guild?" Cody asked the hero that was stupid enough to use void energy against him.

"What? No, why do you ask?" the hero asked.

"You're using," Cody paused as he realized that he was about to explain things. He snapped his fingers, causing the ball of void energy to explode and consume the hero, leaving just his feet and boots behind. "Void energy. He should have read the basic information package the guild gives everyone that challenges me."

"He killed Kenny!" one of the heroes shouted in horror, sounding like someone had just killed her puppy.

"I did you a favor, he was wearing yellow spandex," Cody replied as he pointed his staff at one of the heroes and blasted him with void energy, burning a hole through the teen's chest and dropping him to the ground.

"Kenny!" the little girl in an overly large tie dyed t-shirt with a tiara shouted in rage as her eyes started glowing with purple lighting.

"Shit!" the three remaining heroes cursed when they noticed the start of their companion's transformation and bolted for the exit.

"What?!" Cody sputtered, not expecting the heroes to bolt.

"Lords of Darkness hear my call," the girl chanted, ignoring the bolts of void energy that were washing over her without any effect, "give me the power of a demon lord of night!"

"Fuck…" Cody trailed off as the little girl transformed into a busty eight foot tall purple skinned demon with two rune covered horns sticking out of her head. He pointed the end of his staff at the demon and unleashed lightning at the demon, wanting to kill her before she found a way around his defensive spells.

The girl blurred forward and punched the evil overlord's wall of force, sending causing it to crack like a window hit by a sledge hammer. "You killed Kenny!"

'Fuck!' Cody shouted as he watched the supposedly indestructible wall of force shatter and fall apart as the girl stalked toward him despite the various spells he was tossing her way.

"I'm going to fuck you!" the girl screamed as she lunged forward, grabbed his arm with the staff and ripped it off.

"Congratulations, you've failed," an ethereal voice said as Cody appeared in a bar filled with a bunch of people dressed like either edgelords or evil overlords, not that there was much of a difference.

"What the hell?!" Cody sputtered, trying to put his thoughts together and annoyed that the 'supposed' hero had tried to beat him to death with his own arm.

"First time?" the purple skinned woman behind the bar asked as she grabbed an empty glass and filled it with a green liquid that was giving off a sickly purple mist.

"First time?" Cody asked.

"Dying," she replied as she pushed the drink across the counter.

"Shit, the bitch beat me to death with my own arm," Cody complained, glad that being an evil overlord came with death protection.

"That's better than Marv, the fucking hero shoved a grenade up his ass," one of the other patrons offered.

"Fucking immortality clause," Marv complained, still bitter about the fact that a damned kid had managed to kill him. "I'll get my revenge on Kevin."

"Give it up, the kid's house makes Jigsaw’s traps look like a kindergartener’s macaroni art," the other villain warned him.

"Fucking heroes," Marv complained then went back to drinking.

"What type of hero killed you?" one of the other patrons asked.

"One of the damned heroes could turn into a demon lord and was immune to magic," Cody complained as he grabbed the glass.

"Damn, tough break," the guy replied. "Could be worse, you could be like Marv, he got taken out by a normal kid."

"There's nothing normal about that little shit," Marv complained.

"Don't worry, you'll probably only be here a couple of days before you respawn. You signed the paperwork to get resummoned, right?" the bartender asked.

"Paperwork?" Cody asked, not sure what she was talking about.

"The Company should have sent someone to talk to you about placement contracts, they generally show up the day after graduation when everyone is drunk from celebrating so you might not remember," she explained.

"I haven't graduated," Cody admitted then took a drink of the green stuff, a touch surprised that it tasted like whiskey with the hint of apple and mint.

"That's going to be a problem…" she trailed off when the new villain vanished, causing the glass to drop and hit the counter, "or not."

Cody blinked when he found himself back in the shop. "What the fuck was that?!"

"You'll have to be more specific," Myst said as he used his Upgrade ability to check Cody's stats and powers, curious how much of his magic he'd kept. 'Enough strength to lift a couple of tons and enough durability to shrug off getting shot, especially if the bullets aren't enchanted.'

"Take your pick!" Cody snapped. "Heroes aren't supposed to beat people to death with their arm after ripping it off and they're not supposed to turn into demon lords."

"At least you survived," Noelle offered, fairly sure her friend needed a vacation from his vacation.

"Heroes aren't supposed to be immune to magic," Cody complained as he held up his hand and conjured a ball of black energy.

"Being a villain is a lot like being a cape, you're playing paper rock scissors when it comes to powers and abilities and sometimes the other bastard has scissors made out of stone," Myst pointed out.

Cody took a deep breath then slowly exhaled, letting his frustration go like his therapist had suggested. He smiled and let the void ball vanish. "At least I didn't have to sign any of the contracts with The Company since I didn't graduate."

"That's it? You're just getting over it?" Trickster asked, surprised that Cody wasn't more upset considering how much he hated losing.

Cody turned his attention to his teammate. "Everyone has to go through therapy as part of the Evil Overlord program, I've been working on my issues. It's okay to be annoyed about losing, but you don't have to monologue or fly into a rage, it rarely helps."

"Cool," Trickster replied, a bit surprised that he was actually happy that Cody had gotten his shit together. "So, now what?"

"Do you have anything that lets people jump dimensions?" Jess asked Myst hopefully, looking forward to going home now that her legs were fixed and Noelle was cured.

Myst turned and looked at the red haired girl that was hovering a couple of inches off the ground thanks to her upgraded Rogue outfit. "Technically, but it sends you to a random dimension so you probably don't want to use it."

Trickster glanced at Noelle. "I don't really care where we end up as long as we're together."

"My mother has probably already sold my stuff," Cody admitted, not looking forward to dealing with the questions and complaints about how he'd vanished for half a year without calling.

Myst turned his attention toward the door when the bell rang and the door opened, revealing a dirty blonde woman in her twenties that was wearing a skimpy pair of worn out and grime covered gym shorts, a halter top that barely concealed her breasts and enough makeup to make a mine feel a twinge of jealousy.

"Do you have any love potions? Skids was fucking a bitch with giant tits," Squealer complained as she shuffled over toward the counter, sounding like a drunk chipmunk that had inhaled a couple of helium balloons.

"I don't sell love potions but I have something that will kill his high and ruin his day," Myst told the woman as he grabbed a bottle of cider from under the counter and used his Upgrade ability to upgrade it so it would heal diseases and mental issues as well as any physical damage the drinker was suffering from.

"What’s do?" she asked, slurring her words to the point that she was nearly unintelligible.

"It kills your high and gives you a clear head, two dollars," Myst told her as he set the bottle on the counter in front of her.

"Okay, bottom up," Squealer replied as she tried to grab the bottle, missing the first time as she'd grabbed one of the bottles that wasn't actually there.

'I'll never understand addicts,' Myst thought as the woman grabbed the bottle, twisted the cap off and drank the cider, the years of drug abuse vanishing before their eyes as the cider restored her to perfect health.

Sherrel blinked a couple of times when she realized that she was stone cold sober and that everything was crystal clear for the first time in years. "What the hell was that?!" she demanded, her voice still sounding a bit high pitched but nowhere as bad as it was before.

"Like I said, it gives you a clear head," Myst replied as he checked the entry for Squealer's voice and spent the mana to upgrade it so it wasn't grating on his nerves.

"Yeah, that's going to fuck him up," Squealer said with a smirk as she pulled a crumpled up five out of her pocket and paid Myst as the door to the game room opened, revealing Armsmaster. "I'll take another one."

"Who are you fucking up?" Armsmaster asked the young woman who was dressed like a trashy streetwalker as he walked out of the game room. 'What the hell is Squealer doing here?'

"My boyfriend," Squealer replied as she turned to look at the person that had asked her a question. She froze when she recognized Armsmaster. "He was cheating on me with a blowup doll, I'm going to prank him."

"Try not to get carried away," Armsmaster told her, not sure if she was talking about an actual blow up doll or if she was just being insulting and not sure he wanted to, since she was a Merchant.

"Okay," Squealer replied, glad that she hadn't worn her welding mask because she wasn't in the mood for a fight with Armsmaster, mostly because she wasn't in the mood to get her ass kicked and she didn't have a large truck to run him over with.

Myst grabbed another bottle of cider and upgraded it then grabbed a tin of breath mints and set them on the counter. "You should probably give him a couple of breath mints, they repair teeth and give you fresh breath, one dollar."

"Deal," Squealer replied without hesitation as she collected the cider and the breath mints, knowing that some of the boys had breath that could make a toxic waste dump smell minty fresh.

Armsmaster frowned when his system let him know that the woman's voice didn't match the voices he had on file for the tinker. 'It's close but she's not doing anything illegal and she seems sober and pissed at Skidmark.'

"Did you need anything else?" Myst asked Armsmaster, curious if he could talk Armsmaster into buying a costume now that he'd had a chance to examine the phone booth and watch Oliver get a costume.

"I'll need to clear things with the Director but I'll be in touch," Armsmaster replied as he headed for the door, his mind already focused on coming up with an argument for why they needed to grab a bunch of costumes for the heroes and some of the more competent agents.

Squealer waited until Armsmaster left then sighed in relief, glad that she'd managed to escape being arrested or attacked. "Do you have anything for body odor?"

"Not really…" Myst trailed off when he realized that he had an idea that might work. "Actually, open the tin and stick one of the breath mints on the counter, I have an idea."

"Okay, how's that going to help?" Squealer asked as she opened the tin and shook the tin enough to cause one of the breath mints to fall out onto the counter, figuring the counter was cleaner than her hands, something that sort of mattered now that she wasn't drugged out of her mind.

Myst looked at the breath mint with his Upgrade ability and upgraded the cleaning and repairing enchantment to include her entire body. "Okay, that should have boosted the cleaning power to include your entire body."

Squealer grabbed the mint off the table and tossed it in her mouth then chewed it up and swallowed it, causing the magic to activate and a minty taste to wash over her tongue.

"Is it supposed to do that?" Trickster asked when a light green mist flowed out of the woman's mouth and started covering her.

"Probably…" Myst trailed off as the mist surged over her and quickly ate Squealer's clothes and makeup, leaving her perfectly clean and naked, "not."

Squealer looked down at her breasts then twisted so that she could look at her butt. "Don't worry about it, they were filthy."

"Do you have extra clothes?" Noelle asked Myst as she reached over and covered her boyfriend's eyes.

"No but we have a phone booth, just dial 76483," Myst told Squealer as he gestured toward the game room, figuring the brute rating would help if she used any drugs.

"Sorry, what?" Squealer asked, having missed the first couple of numbers.

"Just type rogue into the phone," Myst replied, figuring that would be easier to remember than a random string of numbers.

"Thanks," Squealer replied as she headed for the other room with a spring in her steps.

"We should probably have a team meeting," Noelle suggested once the naked girl went through the door.

"Yeah, I'm watching the naked girl first," Cody said as he followed the naked girl into the game room.

"Do you mind if we order pizza?" Trickster asked Myst.

"Go for it, we have tables," Myst replied, not seeing a problem with the Travelers sticking around and eating pizza, especially since the longer Squealer was distracted, the longer the girls would have to loot the Merchants to the ground.

0o0o0

"This feels like cheating," Vicky complained as she floated over the sleeping Merchants that Taylor had knocked out with a fog of sleep spell.

"If you're not cheating, you're not trying," Rose replied as she continued tossing cash into the trash bag wearing latex gloves that she'd brought for dealing with the gang's money since she was going to need to launder it, as in stick it into a washing machine and clean it before she was willing to touch it.

"I'm just glad that I can fly," Amy grumbled, doing her best not to think about the toxins and viruses covering everything in the abandoned tourist trap that the Merchants had taken over.

"What the fuck?!" Taylor sputtered when she opened the door to the manager's office and saw a skinny black man with his pants around his ankles slumped over an inflatable doll. "I didn't need to see that."

"What's up?" Harry asked as he flew over to make sure Taylor hadn't run into trouble.

"Half naked Merchant," Taylor complained as she floated over and touched the back of his neck with her finger and copied his powers.

"Fuck that’s nasty!" Harry cursed when he floated close enough that he could see the inside of the office and he saw Skidmark's rash covered ass. "You could have warned me!"

"I had to share the pain," Taylor replied as she pulled her hand back and tried to look around the rest of the manager's office without looking at Skidmark.

Vicky laughed when she flew over to look to see what they were complaining about. "Could be worse."

Harry turned to look at Vicky. "How?"

"He could be fucking a duck," Vicky replied.

Harry stared at Vicky for a couple of seconds then shook his head. "There is something seriously wrong with you," he complained as he gestured and opened all of the drawers in the desk, revealing a couple plastic bags filled with money.

"Jackpot!" Vicky exclaimed, ecstatic that she was actually getting to keep some of the loot this time.

"How much do you think we got?" Taylor asked as Harry levitated the bags out of the desk, hoping that they had enough to buy the resurrection scroll.

"More than enough for the scroll and some other things," Harry replied as he floated the cash out of the office and over to Rose's trash bag. "What do you think we should do with the drugs?"

"Leave it for evidence," Amy told them.

"Wallets?" Rose asked thoughtfully.

"That depends," Vicky replied as she flew back to the middle of the room. "If we're calling the police we might as well take the money, because they'll take it for 'evidence' and no one will ever see it again. If we're calling the PRT, we might as well leave it, the gang will get it back unless they have enough cash that they decide they were holding it for illegal purposes."

Rose used a cantrip to count the money they'd grabbed. "Twenty two thousand one hundred and eleven dollars in the bag, we've got enough for the scroll."

Vicky grabbed a cellphone off one of the sleeping guys and started writing a text to the PRT, giving the location and letting them know the situation while leaving their names out of it.

"This went better than I was expecting," Taylor admitted as Harry pulled a handful of zip ties out of his jacket pocket and started securing everyone.

Rose laughed. "It's pretty easy when you can shut down powers from range and knock everyone out before they even realize that there's a problem."

"Like you said, no point in playing fair," Taylor replied, feeling pretty good about getting a bunch of dealers and a couple of capes off the street and looking forward to having her mother back.