Giggle (Patreon)

"Man, beers take extra good when work’s buying them," Christian said as he peed. He was alone in the bathroom, but his entire office’s staff was out in the bar for the company Christmas party.

He was musing about how he should stop drinking so he could get home safely when one of the secretaries, Vanessa, staggered into the men's room. She was obviously groggy as she walked over to the urinals, lifted up her skirt, and pulled out an above average penis as she nonchalantly began to pee. Christian looked at her in surprise.

"S-sorry... hic... the women's bathroom was full." She then looked down at Christian's penis and giggled. She tucked her penis back under her skirt and walked out of the bathroom barely balancing on her heels.

Christian was completely stunned. He knew he wasn't THAT drunk to imagine something like that. Was Vanessa a mutant? But most importantly… why the hell did she laugh? Questions raced through his mind as he left the bathroom, said goodbye to some co-workers and headed home.

The next day at the office, most of his co-workers had hangovers. Chris himself was no exception, although his exhaustion was more due to a ton of thoughts that had kept him awake last night.

"Here are the folders for the report," said Robert. He was one of Christian’s coworkers, and it was pretty obvious he didn’t want to be at the office either.

"Thanks. How's that hangover?" Chris asked.

“I feel like my head is splitting in half,” said Robert. “I'm sure the company did this party in the middle of the week so we wouldn’t go overboard, but free drinks are free drinks.”

"That's true. By the way, did something strange happen after I left?"

"Strange? Like what?"

“Did anyone get too drunk and confess something? Or maybe some girl took her top or skirt off?”

"Not that I know of, we kept drinking until we hit our spending limit, but that’s about it. Now if you'll excuse me, I need some painkillers."

Chris could use some pain killers, too, he realized. Though instead of getting some he just began looking through the folders he’d been handed. Maybe he’s just imagined what he saw in the bathroom last night. His office door shutting startled him out of his thoughts.

"Vanessa, can I help you with something?" Chris asked nervously. She was more serious than usual.

“I need you to be completely honest with me when I ask you this. What happened in the bathroom last night?” she asked, her eyes fixed on him.

"Bathroom? What bathroom?”

“The bathroom in the sky. What bathroom do you think, Chris? Last night at the bar, of course. What did you see?” she said, clearly annoyed by his playing dumb.

“I- nothing, I was just peeing, looking at my own penis… I didn't see any other penis or anything like that,” he said, swallowing hard.

Vanessa put her hands to her face in embarrassment as she slumped into a chair. "Ugh. I woke up with vague memories of what I had done. The women's bathroom was full… so I went into the men's bathroom, it seemed to me that there was only you. I remember you saw me, and I looked at you…” Vanessa paused and couldn’t help giggling again.

"Wait a minute, why are you laughing?!" Chris asked, confused once again.

"Who? Me? Oh, it’s nothing," she said.

"Hey, you shouldn't laugh at a man's penis."

"Yes, I know, I'm sorry," Vanessa said. "Your penis is fine, it's... cute."

“You're not making it better,” Chris said angrily.

“Ok, let's not talk about yours. I'm interested in talking about mine, or rather making sure you never talk about it to anyone else."

"Don't worry, I'll keep your secret. I have no reason to discuss anyone’s genitalia.”

“True. I just know there are some companies who are reluctant to work with mutants, so I don’t want it getting out.”

"So, you're a mutant," Chris said.

“Yes, a futanari who also has lipples,” Vanessa said. Her blouse quivered a bit and Chris wondered if it always done and he’d just never noticed, or if it was done on purpose this time.

"Wow, I'd like to see that."

“You've already seen more of me than I ever intended,” Vanessa said. “Although it's a bit liberating to be able to talk about it, even if is just one person. Just keep it a secret."

“I'll do so on one condition,” Chris said.

"Oh?" Vanessa asked.

"Buy me a coffee, or a beer would be nice too," Chris said.

"I don't know Chris. The truth is that I prefer to go out with guys who are bigger than me."

“Ugh you really know how to flatter a guy,” Chris said.

“Sorry sorry,” Vanessa giggled a little. “I’m not laughing at you, I promise.”

“I will choose to believe you, for the sake of my self-esteem,” Chris said.

“I think you worry too much about size,” Vanessa said mockingly.

“You're only saying that because yours is so big,” Chris said.

“Oh please,” Vanessa said as she unbuttoned her shirt and parted it just enough so Chris could see both sets of lipples, each of which had a tongue sticking out of them. “Hahaha, it's so nice to be able to make jokes about my body now.” She buttoned her shirt back up and straightened her skirt. “Tomorrow when we leave, we’ll get drinks, and I'll keep teasing you,” she happily walked out the door.

“Well, that was unexpected,” Chris said. For a moment he could only stare after her and try to clear his mind to focus on work again. But all he could really think about was Vanessa and her lipples.