Mermay puns! (Patreon)

“Bombs Away!”

Cass ran to the pool as fast as her hooves would allow and threw herself into the water, creating an enormous splash. After surfacing, she used her four arms to swim around the pool, each stroke kicking up yet more water.

“Do you have to splash so much?” Marina said, as she dived into pool with otherworldly grace. The aquatic monster-girl barely disturbed the surface of the water, gliding into it gracefully and swimming with effortless flicks of her tail.

“Can’t help it. Too excited to be swimming with my bestie. We haven’t seen each other in a while and I want to enjoy every second,” Cass said, playfully splashing Marina.

Marina laughed, covering her face. “Haha, not attached by the pussy to Steve today?”

Cass smirked, “He doesn’t own my pussy. He’s very respectful of my, and my pussy’s time. Though we will probably make up for it with a looooot of sex when I get back.”

“Show off…” Miranda said, leaning against the side of the pool. “Have some respect for the single ladies…”

“You know, if you wanted we could have a threesome,” Cass said with a smirk, idly squeezing up jets of water between her palms.

“What!? No, I wouldn’t… I couldn’t… it would be so uncomfortable….” Miranda said, blushing and stammering.

“I’m not hearing a no,” Cass said with laugh.

Miranda turned away with a huff. “Just drop it OK?”

“Fine fine…” Cass said. “Oh hey, by the way, Happy Mermay!”

“What?” Miranda said turning back around.

“Mermay! You know, the mermaid holiday?”

“Mermay isn’t a holiday,” Miranda said with a heavy sigh. “It’s just some internet nonsense that horny artists do for a month. Besides, I’m not a mermaid.”

“You sure look like one. You got scales, and fins, and you can breathe water. Seems like a mermaid to me.”

“I’m just a mutant Cass!” Miranda said shooting her an annoyed look. “You of all people should know mutations don’t change who you are. I’m just another girl.”

“Mmmmmm I don’t know. Sounds fishy to me…” Cass said with a giggle.

“No, Cass, can we not with the fish puns?” Miranda rolled her eyes in exasperation.

“What’s the matter, too soFISHticated for a little joke?” Cass said with a fangy smile.

“I’m warning you,” said Miranda, her tail twitching anxiously.

“I’m just having a little fun Miranda. After all CARP-e-diem-OWWW!” Marina had balled up a fist and brought it down right between Cass’s horns. She rubbed a rapidly forming lump “fine, fine, I get it. You aren’t in the mood.”

“I’m a little tense OK?” The two of them sat in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time. “Look, I’m sorry. It’s just, the whole fish thing… it turns a lot of people off and it’s kind of hard to meet anyone when they treat you like the creature from the black lagoon.

Cass gave Miranda a soft nod before lunging toward her. She hugged her from behind, cupping her breasts.

“CASS!!!” Miranda said shocked.

“No talking yourself down like that,” Cass said. “I’m your friend and I think you are gorgeous. Someone else will too.”

Miranda just blushed and looked away.

“Want proof? Remember the good old days, how hot you got me? All the fun we had? That always perked you up when you were down.” Cass gave Miranda’s breasts a squeeze, making her squeal in surprise. “So what do you say? Maybe we can relive the good old days? Just for a bit?”

Miranda sighed and smiled “Alright, for the good old days.”

“Great!” Cass exclaimed, “And then we can work on getting you a boyfriend…”

“You don’t have to play matchmaker Cass…”

“Nonsense, I’ll be your of-FISH-ial headhunter!”

“Cass….”

“No mission is of too big a SCALE for me…”

“Caaass…”

“COD you think of anyone more skilled in the ways of ROE-mance than me?”

“CASS!”

“Just let MINNOW when you want to start and- OWWW”

Another blow was heard, and Cass fell backward under the water.