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 “Mutant assistance service, this is Alicia speaking, with whom I have the pleasure?

“Eh, Hello... my name is Emily and I suffered a sudden mutation today.”

“OK, Emily. I just want to let you know that everything is going to be just fine. Can you give me your tracking number and describe your mutation for me?”

“It's 73435889. Today in the afternoon I grew another leg, a "middle" leg. I also have two vaginas and two... uh... anuses and…”

The woman cut her off, knowing where this was going and sparing her the embarrassment. “A grade 3 mutation. Did you go to a medical center? Are you feeling well right now? No abnormalities?”

“I didn't want to go to the hospital! I just wanted to go home!” Emily grumbled under her breath. She just explained herself to Paul and now she had to do it all over again. And what did this woman mean by abnormalities? What could be more abnormal than a third leg!? She felt judged, and a little guilty, and really wanted to get this over with.

“It’s OK, we can do some follow up tests later.”

“Great more tests” Emily thought to herself.

“Mutations are becoming more common every day and although grade 3 or higher mutations are rare our assistance programs are designed to make adjusting to mutant life as easy as possible. I’ll need you to send photos of your mutation to the email listed on your card. Then we will get you into an appointment with our specialists. They will do a thorough medical checkup to make sure there are no complications caused by the mutation. They will also get your mutation classified and categorized and check your risk of any further mutations.”

Emily swallowed a lump in her throat. The thought of mutating even more after what happened today was terrifying.

“Don’t worry” Alicia said from the other end of the line, interrupting Emily’s thought spiral. “Undergoing a grade 3 mutation or higher drastically reduces the chance of further mutation later in life.”

“Oh, OK” Emily said, breathing a small sigh of relief. “How… explicit do the photos have to be? Does the mutation… do I have to be naked?” 

“Ideally yes.” Alicia said in an almost calm and medical manner, revealing how many times she’s heard this question before. “But if you don’t feel comfortable you can take them clothed and we can have the specialists do further analysis at a later date. So long as the mutation is visible we can get you assigned with the right specialist and process your mutation relief assistance check.”

“Mutation relief… wha?” Emily asked.

“It’s a grant that we send to you monthly to help you with the new expenses and adjustments that come with a mutated body. The first payment is usually the largest and is usually reserved for your initial medical checkup, wardrobe adjustments, work equipment, and any changes that need to be made to your home. Further payments are usually for more minor expenses and routine medical checkups. In return, we ask that you allow the data gathered from your examinations to be used for more research into the mutation phenomenon. It can make a real difference in a new mutant’s life.” 

“OK. This all such a relief. I will send the photos as soon as possible. Thank you.”

“You're welcome. We know that this can be a difficult time. Try to surround yourself with people you love and are close too. A good support structure can help you better cope with the changes. If you are studying or working, notify your human resources department that you have mutated. You are legally allowed a limited paid medical leave of absence until you can be examined by a specialist who can confirm that you are ready to go back to work.”

“I will be sure to do it. Thank you again.”

“Thank you, and be sure to call if you have any other questions about your mutation. Goodbye.”

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Master of Muffin

Would love to get a continuation of this one, maybe of her hospital visit?