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Over the past few weeks I’ve been dealing with two completely unrelated, but quite difficult issues. Either one by itself would be difficult enough but both of them together has made things pretty rough for me right now. I thought it would be helpful to post a journal so I can at least get this info out there.

Tl;dr:

• I’m nearly no longer on speaking terms with my parents.

• A close friend of mine was murdered by his spouse two weeks ago.

Parents: My parents are anti vaxxers. This hardly came as a surprise, but it's still frustrating. Recently my mom invited me to a family event, so I asked if they’d gotten vaccinated yet. Of course they hadn’t, so I said, “Let me know when you get vaccinated and I’ll be happy to stop by.” Their response was unhinged. They’ve now accused me of tearing the family apart, of living in fear, of being manipulated by the media, and all of the usual right wing talking points. My father also implied that since I’m no longer interested in being a part of the family that he’s going to write me out of the will. It wouldn’t be surprising if he did as they’ve already done the same to my brother. I don’t see a particular resolution to this because I don’t see them getting vaccinated, and I’m not interested in visiting if they’re not. I am just so fucking done with anti vaxxers at this point. I couldn’t be more disgusted with that sort of pathetic, selfish behavior. The vaccine is so incredibly important to preventing further illness and death; just get it.

Friend: I can’t discuss this one in depth because it’s now an ongoing legal issue. Suffice it to say that the circumstances surrounding my friend’s murder are so incredibly surreal that it’s even hard to process. (To be clear, this is a RL/non-furry friend.) I’ve been on the phone or visiting folks in my friend group a lot over the past week and everyone has been shocked, confused, hurt. The whole thing just seems so senseless. Or as one of my friends put it, “It’s just so STUPID.”

There are so many on-going issues here that even if I did feel free to talk about them it would take many pages to sum everything up. Right now we can’t do much anyway because we need to wait for the report from the autopsy. In the meantime, there’s also a legal battle to get his possessions back. The whole story is just so insanely convoluted and stupid that it’s just so hard to even think about, much less talk about. And because of the legalities involved, it’s likely to be years before there’s any resolution or justice.

——-

A lot of people have noticed I’ve been quiet or maybe short over the past week. Unfortunately these things are why. A lot of folks also said they hoped things would be better soon. I really appreciate the sentiment, but the honest answer is no, they won’t be sorted out any time soon. At this point I’m just trying to put my head in my work and keep pushing forward. We’re planning a memorial service for my friend soon, hopefully in the next month or two. So that will bring some amount of closure. I don’t really know what to expect with my parents. That looks like it will just remain an unresolved issue.

I haven't had too much trouble keeping busy, at least. I think the 5+ years of self-employment work ethic and routine I've developed has helped a lot with that. But I can really feel that I haven't been creative lately. There's been a definite damper on my creative thinking and 'ability to entertain' you might say. I still have pics in the pipeline and the comic too of course; I don't expect that I'm going to stop working entirely or anything like that. I'll still be updating Patreon regularly. Just to say if you've noticed that I've been posting somewhat less often these past few weeks or I haven't been as social, you haven't just been imagining it. Thanks for your understanding.

Comments

Metta

I admire that you're willing to be so transparent about all of this, and while I acknowledge that there isn't any perfect thing to say, I hope you know that we will continue to support you and that you should take as much time as you need with regard to minding your own physical and mental health. Stay strong!

KaikuPen

I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like to deal with all at once. Much love to you!

Anthony Williams

My deepest condolences on the loss of your friend - and my absolute sorrow on the family issues. Your work - and your words have always been admirable. I truly wish you the best and all the hope as you persevere through these times.

Lupi Inkenhoof

Dude. If you need anything at all. Let me know.

Jaggerfrost

oh man, i'm so sorry dude. hope things go better for you. <3

ShiftyTiger

Im sorry for your loss. Please take all of the time you need to grieve and process. Your mental and physical well being are far more important than (amazing) porn.

Geemo

Wow, that's insane. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of that, especially both at the same time.

Freckles

That's just... too awful, I wouldn't blame you if you decide to take a prolongued break from everything. :( Please be safe and take care.

Piper Malone

I am so sorry you're going through the sheer horror of your friend's murder. That is truly terrible and disturbing. Anyone would be shaken by that and its remarkable you've gotten any work done since it happened. I am also sorry for the dissonance and stress from your parents being so foolish. That does not help.

Fatal Fox

Just....wow I am so sorry, if you need a break thats understandable because I cant even imagine the pain you must be going through right now.

Amethystine

You have my eternal support. <3

Anonymous

I'm so sorry bud. Hang in there! *hugs*

FrostPawsArt

I wish you all the best in the world. :3

Purplecat

Wow, a lot of it is so messed up! But I swear something about covid19 is making some people extra irrational than usual. Your mental health is important, so take things as they come, I will always support you!