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Sexual Fetish Research (Patreon)

Published:
2022-12-05 15:01:01
Imported:
2024-02

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Content

Humberto presents research to Dr Kirk regarding sexual fetishes and whether entertaining one’s thoughts will lead to harmful behavior. 


00:00 Sexual Fetish Research

02:45 Vorarephilia

20:50 Academic research about sexual fantasies & violence

37:39 Sexual fantasies & obsessive thoughts

49:40 Attachment behavior in men

56:18 In conclusion & destigmatization


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December 5, 2022


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Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.


Disclaimer: The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing here constitutes personal or professional consultation, therapy, diagnosis, or creates a counselor-client relationship. Topics discussed may generate differing points of view. If you participate (by being a guest, submitting a question, or commenting) you must do so with the knowledge that we cannot control reactions or responses from others, which may not agree with you or feel unfair. Your participation on this site is at your own risk, accepting full responsibility for any liability or harm that may result. Anything you write here may be used for discussion or endorsement of the podcast. Opinions and views expressed by the host and guest hosts are personal views. Although, we take precautions and fact check, they should not be considered facts and the opinions may change. Opinions posted by participants (such as comments) are not those of the hosts. Readers should not rely on any information found here and should perform due diligence before taking any action. For a more extensive description of factors for you to consider, please see www.psychologyinseattle.com

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Comments

Anonymous

Thank you for being vulnerable with us, Berto. The more I hear about how men are only allowed to express attachment needs through sex, the more I see it around me. Men really have been robbed of having the full spectrum of emotional experiences. As you say Kirk, "destigmatize, destigmatize, destigmatize" kinks and everything else!

SeattleTransAndNonbinary ChoralEnsemble

I have this theory. A lot of serial adulterers, those for whom having open relationships is not a solution because they wind up violating the agreed-upon terms, say that part of what makes it appealing is the taboo and sneaking around - as soon as that person becomes their primary partner, they lose the desire and end up cheating with someone else. The kind of person that the aphorism “once a cheater always a cheater” is about. In the 12 steps the term used is “sex & love addict”, though I don’t think that’s specific enough, it’s a good support group (where people can talk about how to abstain from a variety of unhealthy sex and love practices including stalking, emotional affairs, autoerotic asphyxiation, romantic obsession, pedophilia, using porn at inappropriate times etc). If a paraphilia is a sexual desire that is outside conventional norms that you engage in compulsively despite its disruption to your romantic life and causing other major problems in your life, then by that definition, nonmonogamy is a fetish (engaged in ethically by swingers, polyamorists etc) and compulsive infidelity is that practice as a paraphilia. And if so, not only is that the most common paraphilia by far, they’re also incredibly common, effecting perhaps even more than 10%. I personally think the paraphilia model is a much more accurate way to think about treatment and the motivations behind compulsive infidelity than addiction, though they share some things in common like risk and novelty seeking behaviors. I do think there are other motivations for infidelity though, such as being in the closet, too immature or conflict averse to be the one to break up with your partner, and sabotaging the relationship instead, and while that person probably could use counseling too i wouldn’t diagnose them with a paraphilia.