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Dr Kirk Honda reacts to the doc “The Most Hated Man On The Internet”, which is about revenge porn and Hunter Moore. 


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The Psychology In Seattle Podcast ®


Trigger Warning: This episode may include topics such as assault, trauma, and discrimination. If necessary, listeners are encouraged to refrain from listening and care for their safety and well-being.


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SeattleTransAndNonbinary ChoralEnsemble

Kirk, I’m going to respectfully provide a counterpoint against your perception that ‘girls aren’t told not to act like boys’. As a former tomboy who never had to ‘try’ to be ‘mistaken’ for male even when I attempted to perform femininity (“your son has such long thick hair!” Other moms would tell my mom) due to my natural mannerisms, I assure you that there is just as much pressure steering AFAB people into gender conformity as AMAB people. ‘Tomboys’ like myself who would later grow up to be trans men, butch queers or non-binary people, get called ‘dyke’ and ‘he-she’ and ‘lesbo’ mercilessly in elementary and junior high school before most of us even had any idea what sexual attraction and orientation were. Middle school is especially a gauntlet of pain, where as if being betrayed by having a period and growing tits wasn’t suicide-inducing enough, to attempt femininity is to subject yourself to magazines and the ‘mean girls’ and the boys who used to act cool and normal before they hit puberty, pointing out your body and facial hair, the way you walk, your unibrow and/or uniboob and/or fupa, your failure to put on makeup or style your hair and/or unwillingness to attempt, stains, any non-floral odor and any other deviation from western standards of adult beauty makes you the target of constant gossip, of the kind where you walk into the lunch room and a whole table full of girls will be staring, whispering and giggling. Then the Alpha c**t walks up and says with an singsong “oh wow, ____, I LOVE that turtleneck. You are so *brave*. Did your mom knit it for you?” There is no correct answer to this trap: interpreting it as a sincere compliment makes you stupid and the butt of the joke, your mom actually having knit the sweater makes you a baby, actually having made the sweater yourself and admitting to it makes you a homeschool art weirdo, saying what store you got it from gets a retort like “pff. As if I would ever shop at that fat old heifer store. You look like my great aunt.” Which will result in earning the nickname ‘Auntie _____’ for the rest of the year. And saying “Fuck you Stephanie, suck my dick” makes YOU the bitch, since she will feign being offended at you rejecting her ‘bid to reach out’, and if she is especially devious, cry until a teacher comes over and then tell on you for swearing. This is how girls beat each other up. The bruises last longer. By highschool, there starts to be a few avenues wherein gender non conforming kids find countercultures to make friends, and at most progressive schools the overt homophobia and body shaming starts to be seen as slightly cruel instead of the inescapable order of things. For femme boys this is usually fashion, theatre, music, or the gothic, emo, raver, or anime communities, at least this was the case at the time. For masc girls it is sports, outdoorsy or country activities like hunting, drinking, hip hop culture (breakdancing, graffiti etc) being a juggalo, nerd or a leadership type role in a male dominated club like debate, math Olympiad, robot building or the gay straight alliance, all of which you have to be better than all of the boys to even get anyone to acknowledge your existence. If you are socially adept you might even get nominated for homecoming king, and a local church with a bunch of grownups you’ve never met will stage a protest about your courageous tendency toward cargo shorts and flannel, it might make the local paper, and either get prom cancelled and have everyone hate you for it, or have the staff stand by your side and crown you Token Poster Dyke, which is especially awkward if either you or the queen or neither of you are lesbian or bisexual. Because no matter how many tournaments you win, shots of Johnny you can neck without puking, or frat boys you pwn at beer pong, none of the jocks or other popular guys you are secretly banging will EVER consider actually being your boyfriend, or admit in front of anyone else that they are attracted to you. Because the whole reason they like you is because you’re “so low maintenance, just like one of the dudes, practically a sister to me” 🤫🤦