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Enmeshed Family Boundaries (Patreon)

Published:
2020-04-13 14:00:04
Imported:
2024-02

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What is enmeshment in families? How do we manage lack of boundaries?


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The Psychology In Seattle Podcast. 


This content is for educational and informational purposes only. Although Kirk Honda is a licensed marriage and family therapist, this content is not a replacement for proper mental health treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your mental health needs.

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Comments

Anonymous

I’m guessing there were enmeshed boundaries a couple of generations back in my family. My maternal grandparents met at the tail end of WW2 in England, both on the rebound. Both very different: Granny was comfortably middle-class, English and extroverted, Granddad was a working-class boy, Scottish and an introvert. His mother had sacrificed a lot so he could take up a private school place he’d been awarded by way of compensation for his father dying in a work-related accident in the 1920s. Aged 12 he became the Man of the House, but he was able to stay at school till he was 18. Granny’s life changed dramatically when she moved away from a close and happy family to Edinburgh. Her new mother-in-law despised her, using everything she could as good reason: her class, nationality and lively character. Despite their differences, my grandparents could’ve been very happy. But “Mother” would never let her son go, even enlisting Granddad’s younger sister against Granny. She had a tantrum when he was planning to take my grandmother to the theatre, and do Mother had to go instead. She put a stop to my grandparents moving to New Zealand in the 1950s - everything had been arranged. She spoke down to Granny whenever she could, bullying her son to make her buy both her, Mother, and her horrendous daughter a fur coat each when Granny inherited money when her parents died. They were absolutely vile towards her. Granny fought back and even slapped her mother-in-law round the face once. But then gave up as she realised this was her life. When “Mother” was old and frail it was my grandmother who took care of her, not her own daughter. A long comment to say that this podcast resonated with me on quite a big level.