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Is it ever ok to date your therapist? Dr. Kirk Honda discusses the ethics and likely traumas.


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The Psychology In Seattle Podcast. 


Oct 09, 2019.


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Music by Bread Knife Incident.  


This content is for educational and informational purposes only. Although Kirk Honda is a licensed marriage and family therapist, this content is not a replacement for proper mental health treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your mental health needs.

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Anonymous

I used to have friday-sessions with my old therapist. I was the last client he saw before the weekend, and he would always prolong the sessions for me. Not two hours, but 15-20 minutes at least. I had these feelings for him that later developed into a crush. We "connected", or had "chemistry" of some sort. We could laugh even when talking about hard stuff. I used to ask him very personal questions and he would respond, but not get into detail of course. I wrote weekly journals that almost turned into novels that he read and talked about in sessions. So nine months into therapy I confessed my confused feelings to him, which he took very easy and said something like "I like you too, I find you charming and witty, and you're attractive". "Your feelings are completely normal and nothing to be afraid of, it's a normal part of therapy, and we can talk about it if you like". He didn't act on them, he didn't reciprocrate, he just confirmed them. After I had told him all about my feelings, they went away. I was also convinced I didn't have transference, but looking back, I'm quite sure now that's all it was. After our therapy ended and I moved, he called me once a month until I got a new therapist, and we email from time to time.