Long hard times (Patreon)

I will tell you what is happening, I owe you an explanation after the few updates and appearances that I have made online in general.

I have been taking care of my family for about 4 years, financially, this is because since my mother got cancer, my father began to be more cruel to me and my sister. I paid for my mother's surgery because my father never had any money and he was upset because he thought he would pay for the funeral. My father was something i don't want to remember.

I decided that getting away from him would be the necessary option, I left my father and looked for an apartment to take care of my mother and sister. This was hard but my mother came out of the surgery well and she was in recovery in the new apartment I got. Months of care went by and about 2 years later, she got another cancerous tumor. Living a situation like this is the worst thing for mental health, both for the patient and for those who are close to them and now this happened again. She went through the second surgery and she recovered thankfully. She never accepted radiotherapy, she is afraid and since this happened, she has changed a lot.

Now, a year later, the tumor has returned since October, we have done everything possible to prevent it from continuing, diets, audios, "miracle" medicines, nothing worked, we worked so hard on this! so many years, life is so hard.

He went back to the hospital and this time, the tumor was inseparable. I have cried too much, I cannot sleep, now I have fears that I never had before, I have mental problems since before thanks to my father, and now I think I am in worse conditions with all this, especially the pain and frustration of living this alone.

Thanks to patreon I was able to make a profit for the operations, I thank you so much Patrons.

However, I suffer a lot, the pain has been unbearable for me and for her, to the point that, we want this to end, I pray to God that this suffering stops at some point.

I have thought about taking my own life time ago, things are unfair for making certain decisions that should be the right ones. On the one hand, I love my family, and on the other, I couldn't live these years as an open gay single either, working for my happiness or with a partner and I always wanted to have someone with me. I have become very frustrated, especially now, expecting hard times.

I hope you can understand what I'm going through, I don't have time to think much about what I love, art, I feel weak and I haven't been able to sleep well. This month I will dedicate fair time, I will leave a vice that appeared to me these months to dedicate myself to what really matters, work and my mother. My sister promised to help me, so I hope this will be less difficult. 

Thank you very much for read this, I hope for the best and have faith in god