Lucky Update #33 (Patreon)

I SINCERELY HOPE the quality doesn’t get weird since I’m uploading this from my iPad ahhhhhhHHHHH

Mini Life Update: It’s been 3 1/2 weeks since Elias was born, and barely over 3 weeks since we’ve brought him home and as much as I love him to pieces, all I can say right now is that it’s been hell. I knew I wasn’t really cut out for having kids, and as much as I’m doing my best for him so far, I would be lying if I didn’t point out how bad this has been for my health/mental state. Mostly just my obsessive paranoia and such, but also the sleep deprivation on top of everything else. I’m surprised that my physical recovery has continued to progress despite the lack of rest I’m getting, but I’m taking whatever victories I can get. Basically, I’m up 20-22 hrs every single day caring for and monitoring him to make sure he’s happy and breathing okay. (like I said: obsessive) Needless to say, doing this everyday with little to no breaks for the past three weeks hasn’t given me a lot of time to do what I need to do for work/patreon this month. I haven’t given up yet though, so I will do my damnedest to pull through this last week, and fingers crossed, next month won’t be as sleepless as this one. Lol. 

Anthony tries to help me, he does, but as of right now, Elias isn’t very fond of his alone time with him, so I’m usually the only one taking over baby duty because it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to rest or work or do anything with a crying baby in the background. It freaks me out. So, that’s where we’re at right now. Luckily, I managed to get him to sleep in his swing yesterday/today, instead of just in my arms, so I was able to finish this update, as short and sweet as it is sobs. If he sticks to this for at least a few more days, I can get some more of my monthly paid posts done. This is intense, guys. I was NOT prepared. Something needs to give, and hopefully soon, because I have too many things I need to do, too many things I owe people, and too many bills that are starting to pile up. Involuntary paternity leave is wrecking me lmao wish me luck. I need it.