Futa Note - Ch. 11 (Commentary) (Patreon)

This won’t be long, but it’s better than no commentary.

I’m mostly writing this to comment on the possible noticeable change in style between the last chapter and this one. This originated from a commenter from the Futanari Palace, saying that my stories tend not to have enough of a narrative description. So, this chapter was my attempt at rectifying that. Whether that turned out for the better or resulted in a disjointed feeling is pretty much up to you guys.

Another thing is the blue-balling for this chapter. I was considering writing in a full sex scene between Carmen and Stacy, but ultimately it didn’t feel suitable for this point in the narrative. I intend for it to pay off later, of course. That being said, I’m primarily hoping that I’m selling this abrupt romance despite only having minor (that is to say; barely any) set up for it in previous chapters.

Regarding the lead-in from the last chapter, I’m not as confident with writing anger as with other emotions. Mostly because convincing anger is a tricky thing to get right, sometimes it’ll seem too small, and other times it’s too big for what happened. With any luck, I struck a balance.

My biggest concern with the change in descriptions for this chapter, is that they might’ve come too late so it could feel like this should’ve been the first chapter. Chances are that if I release this as a ebook or as an omnibus, then I’m gonna redraft it to make sure the chapters are more uniform. 

In short, I pretty much used this chapter to experiment and tease for what’s to come. Let me know if it turned out okay.