This Goddess Must Be Crazy, Chapter 48 (Patreon)

The last time Izuku had set off on an adventure to another world, he’d done so as a result of being rather dead, apparently from a massive explosion. According to Kazuma, that was the traditional way these things happened, but Izuku was pretty sure Kazuma was just making things up again. As it was, however, Izuku wasn’t sure if maybe the suddenness of the first method wasn’t somewhat preferable.

“But you just got back from another world! And from all those horrible villains trying to kill you! You can’t go now, you’re my baby boy!” Inko wailed, clutching Izuku in a tight hug.

“Do not worry, Mrs. Midoriya! I will take good care of Izuku!” Mei stated proudly. “I am bringing the cutest of my babies with me!”

“And you too!” Inko blubbered, grabbing Mei and hauling her down into a bear hug as Mei squawked in protest and flailed her arms. “You two are too young to be married, but I don’t even have grandchildren yet! You can’t go off and get yourself killed, you hear me!?”

“Did you pack fresh underwear?”

Izuku turned to see Hari looking at him with her own oddly shaped irises, a bemused look on her face.

“Uh, we’re not really planning on being gone that long, so I didn’t-”

“Pack fresh underwear. You’re exploring a tomb. If you crap yourself, you’re gonna want a change,” Hari advised. She handed Izuku a small backpack with a grin. “I took the liberty of packing some for both of you. Clean socks too.”

“I, um…thanks?” Izuku squeaked, catching the bag. “You really didn’t have to…”

“Eh, as your new big sister, I feel somewhat duty bound to, because my sister would never think of it, and you’re a dork, but still wouldn’t either.” Then Hari suddenly grabbed Izuku and hugged him tightly, her voice cracking as she whispered, “Keep her safe, OK? And you come back too.”

Inko was still blubbering, but she’d let go of Mei to wipe at her eyes and blow her nose. Izuku went over to give her one last hug. “We’ll be fine, mom. All Might’s even coming with us! Think of this as just another villain for the heroes to fight.”

“I know, it’s just…you’re still my baby! And you’re going off to some other world to find a horrible villain! I just…I’m not ready yet! It was supposed to be a few more years before I had to say goodbye to you! Just, please…both of you…come home safely, alright?” Inko pulled Izuku and Mei back into a hug, sniffling as she did so.

“We will,” Mei promised, and Izuku hugged both her and his mother tightly for a moment. Then Mei added, “Besides, if we die, Aqua can just bring us back to life again! We already died once, you know.”

“Mei!” Hari hissed, coming in to join the hug from behind.

“Well, it’s true! Though I wouldn’t like to die again, and I would be very sad if Izuku does die again,” Mei protested.

After some more sniffles, Izuku took the bag with the clean changes of clothes, and headed to the door, Mei at his side. At the door, he paused and gave his mother and Hari a smile and a thumbs up. “Don’t worry! It’s gonna be OK!”

Then he scooped Mei up in his arms and jumped up into the sky, leaping over the rooftops as he made for UA.

“Izuku,” Mei said quietly, her arms around his neck as he sped along. “Do you really think we’ll be alright?”

“Of course we will,” Izuku said, giving her a smile. “We’ll be together, and have the others with us, plus Ms. Wiz and Almight. Even Tanya is on our side now, and she’ll get us in safely. Plus, you made us a bunch of new equipment, right? So of course I will succeed. We beat them last time.”

Mei’s arms got even tighter, and Izuku felt her trembling slightly. “Yes, but I am still afraid. It was very scary last time. You did almost die, and All Might did die fighting. But…we are stronger now…you’re going to win, right?”

“Not just me. If it were just me, I couldn’t win. But with you, Aqua, All Might, and the others…I think we can,” Izuku told Mei, pausing atop a rooftop. They shared a quick kiss, then looked out over Tokyo.

“I guess someone has to save the world, so I can keep making cute babies with you. I just didn’t think it would be me,” Mei sighed as Izuku took off again.

“You’re an important part of the plan. You’re our super genius, who can figure out any technology or magic we find, and help us overcome it. Considering the number of worlds the Tomb has conquered, there’s going to be some stuff that won’t make any sense to the rest of us,” Izuku assured her. “Plus, if you weren’t there, it wouldn’t feel right.”

Mei hugged Izuku tightly, but she seemed more determined than frightened now, her jaw set as they landed on campus. Around them were gathered all the students from the first year hero course, along with All Might, Wiz, and a few other powerful pro heroes. Tanya and Visha were there in their uniforms and were even armed. It made Izuku feel a little uneasy, but they were going to have to trust both women to get them to the Tomb safely, so guns were hardly the real issue.

“Took you long enough,” Kazuma said with a yawn, glancing up at the sky. The sun was well up, it being a few hours after dawn. “Ugh. Why do we have to leave so early?”

“It’s past eight. We usually are already in class. That is a silly thing to complain about,” Mei told Kazuma as Izuku set her down.

“Yeah, but like, why can’t we sleep in when we’re going off to save the world? It would make sense to do it when we’re well rested,” Kazuma pointed out.

“You’re just being lazy again,” Uraraka told Kazuma, coming over and rolling her eyes at him before smiling at Izuku and Mei. “How’d it go? My folks were a bit broken up, but they were pretty accepting, all things considered.”

“I think my mom is the only person in the world who can cry more than Aqua,” Izuku said with a heavy sigh, gazing down at the tear stains on his costume. “For her though, it did go surprisingly well.”

“Hari gave us clean socks and underwear!” Mei said happily, pointing to the bag on Izuku’s back. Kazuma let out a snort of laughter, and Izuku flushed as his friend sniggered.

“Good idea,” Uraraka said with a nod, holding up her own back. “I packed that, some hand sanitizer, and extra snacks, plus some first aid gear and water purification tablets. Who knows what sort of horrible stuff they have in the Tomb?”

“I can’t believe I have a bunch of total nerds in my group,” Kazuma said with a heavy sigh. He pointed at Izuku. “You don’t even have an excuse! You have a girlfriend, unlike the old maid over-”

Kazuma reflexively dodged to the side as Uraraka tried to slap him, her face flushed. “We’re 16! It’s totally normal not to be dating at our age! Besides, romance costs money! I’m being frugal!”

“Technically, aren’t we more like 17 now?” Mei mused. “I mean, if you count the extra time we spent in another world, and the extra months we lived before coming back here, hmmm, and Kazuma is hundreds of years old from his time in heaven, so, really-”

“Who’s side are you on!?” Uraraka demanded of Mei, glaring at her.

“Izuku’s,” Mei said instantly. “I didn’t realize we were picking sides, but definitely his.”

“Uraraka is referring to the fact that Kazuma is being an ass again, and is asking if you are sticking up for him, or are standing up for her virtue,” Tokoyami said, coming over to stand in the group, Darkness coming along with him.

“Oh, well, in that case, stop being dumb, Kazuma!” Mei huffed, folding her arms over her chest.

“Ah come on, you’re supposed to be on my side, Bird Brain! You’re with Darkness! You’re a real man now!” Kazuma argued.

“Nah, you’re an idiot,” Dark Shadow said, peeking his head out from Tokoyami’s cloak.

“I agree with Tokoyami and Uraraka. You are simply being your usual perverted self, Kazuma,” Darkness stated.

Kazuma turned a pleading look on Izuku, but he shook his head. “You guys all suck,” Kazuma muttered. He brightened as Megumin came over, turning to her eagerly. “You’re on my side, right?!”

Megumin didn’t even pause: “Stop being such a perverted NEET, Kazuma.”

“How can you even say that!? You MARRIED me! We’re about to go save the world, again, and you know I’ve had jobs! I’m even going to school full time!” Kazuma protested, giving Megumin his best wounded look.

“All in favor of Kazuma being a NEET?” Megumin asked, raising her hand.

“AYE!” everyone agreed, even Dark Shadow sticking up his hand.

“You all suck,” Kazuma grumbled, kicking a rock.

“Hey! No bullying Kazuma over there!” Aqua called, hurrying over to join the huddle. Kazuma gave her a grateful look, and she smiled at him. “Ok, now I’m here. How are we bullying Kazuma?”

“This is outrageous! It’s discrimination! I want a new group!” Kazuma wailed, throwing his hands up in the air dramatically. He turned around. “Hey, Subaru, wanna trade groups? I’ll trade you my blue haired bimbo for yours.”

“Uh, I don’t think Rem is a bimbo, Kazuma, and uh, I’m pretty OK where I am,” the other isekai said, while the women in Subaru’s group all turned death glares on Kazuma.

“It’s not fair, the entire world is against me,” Kazuma sighed dramatically. He looked around, frowning. “So, when are we getting this show on the road? We got the plan, let’s just do this.”

“What plan?” Tokoyomi said with a grimace. “Teleport in and kill everything that moves? That’s not a plan.”

“Would you believe me if I said it was better than our usual plans?” Kazuma asked with a mischievous grin.

“Having worked with you? Absolutely,” Uraraka said with a heavy sigh. “Though honestly I can’t think of a better plan.”

“I have come up with a brilliant plan!” Megumin declared, flashing her cloak. “First, we infiltrate the tomb, then we-”

“We can’t just cast Explosion!” Mei interrupted her. “Even if we both tried it together! We have to make sure the bad guys are dead, not just bury them and run away! Which is why we should use-”

“We’re not building a plasma bomb or whatever you have planned,” Kazuma groaned.

“...it was a gravity bomb,” Mei muttered, looking embarrassed.

“How did we both end up with explosion maniacs?” Kazuma asked Izuku, shaking his head ruefully.

“Good taste?” Izuku ventured, and Kazuma nodded solemnly, extending his hand, which Izuku hesitantly shook.

“You both get to live. This time,” Megumin sniffed.

“Hey, is something the matter? All Might looks worried,” Aqua said, pointing behind them. They all turned, seeing All Might in a huddle with Nezu, Endeavor, and some other pro heroes. They were gathered around a radio, listening intently.

“I wonder,” Izuku said, and pulled out his own phone. He scrolled through it, checking a few things. After a few moments, his eyes went wide. He looked around frantically, then ran over to Tanya. “Ms. Degurechaff!”

“Hm? What is it?” Tanya said, looking up from where she’d been plotting out a large map of what appeared to be the Great Tomb, labeled in neat handwriting.

“What are the first steps in a world invasion? Send in a few Nazerick Elites, right?” Izuku asked, pointing to her, then Visha.

“Depends on the world, but yes, that is often the case. Typically, a single Area Guardian and some basic troops are enough to handle a C or D level world. For an A or B level world, the Pleiades or one Floor Guardian are sufficient. Only an S-Class World would require the attention of multiple Guardians,” Tanya said with a nod.

“And this…this is an S-Class level world, isn’t it?” Izuku asked, motioning to the assembled heroes.

“Yes, obviously. That is why myself, Visha, and the elf twins were sent,” Tanya said, eyes narrowing.

“What if that didn’t work? What was the next step?” Izuku demanded, fear rising in his chest.

“Well, that happened only rarely but if it did, the protocol I helped establish would be to attack on multiple fronts to divide enemy forces, after finding local allies and subverting them to our cause. Then, while the enemy was distracted, multiple Floor Guardians, supported by the Gottjager and other elite forces, would attack key points,” Tanya replied. She narrowed her eyes at Izuku. “Why?”

“They’re attacking all over the world,” Izuku said, realizing with horror what was going on. He held out his phone, and Tanya took it, scrolling through. “Sightings on every continent, but especially in America, Europe, and China. America especially is reporting numerous outbreaks of villains and monsters in major cities. It started just a few hours ago, but more and more attacks are popping up.”

Tanya studied the reports, then nodded, her expression grim. “Yes. This is exactly what protocol dictates should happen. But this means the next attack-”

“-is here”! Izuku and Tanya said together, turning towards All Might and the other heroes. Izuku quickly turned back around, his expression frantic. “What do we do!? If they attack Tokyo while we’re all gone, the city is doomed!”

“If you delay too long, you will also be doomed,” Tayna stated firmly. “S-Class your world might be, but you have no defense against necromancy to speak of. Two goddesses with a small cult isn’t enough to pump out clerics capable of stopping hordes of the undead, even with your heroes. It will be a long, slow death, but it will come if you do not strike.”

This was a horrific situation, and one Izuku didn’t know how to handle. He hurried towards the platform, Kazuma and the others hurrying behind him and looking concerned.

“Ah, young Midoriya,” All Might said, frowning at him. “I know you are all anxious to begin, but something has come up.”

“The Tomb is attacking,” Izuku said breathlessly, holding up his phone. “It’s what they planned all along. They know we have Tanya, and they’re stepping up attacks. We know they’ve recruited members of the League of Villains, and we know they were already planning to attack us. But it’s not just Japan. It’s all over the world.”

“We’re getting reports of attacks in a dozen Japanese prefectures. We might have to call off the assault,” Best Jeanist said, sounding worried.

“That’s foolishness. We have to stop this at the source, and take the fight to the enemy,” Endeavor growled. “You don’t win a defensive war. We find them and burn them out.”

“But we cannot leave Japan defended,” All Might muttered, looking concerned. “We-”

“All Might? You need to hear this,” Nezu broke in, and held up a small television. All eyes turned to it, and Nezu turned up the volume.

On the screen, a man with a blank face mask stood before a news desk, beside him was the same boy from the UA attack with the mask made of hands. The trembling newscasters were kneeling in front of them, eyes wide with fear. On seeing the man with the black mask, All Might’s fists clenched, and he let out a strangled, “No! Not him!”

“Greetings, my longtime opposite,” the man in the black mask said, his voice distorted and echoing. “Most of you do not know who I am. That is fine. Those who do know me, I just want to say, I hope you slept poorly during my absence. But your worst nightmares have come true.”

The man spread his arms dramatically, and gave a slight bow. “I am back. And far more powerful than you can possibly imagine. Allow me to introduce my young heir. Tomura Shigaraki.”

The young boy didn’t stir, but Izuku noticed a disturbing detail: a swishing black tail with a spade-like tip. Where had that come from?

“You don’t have time to watch this,” Tanya said, stepping forward. She nodded to the TV. “That one has been race changed to a demon. And unless I very much miss my guess, All For One has become a lich.”

Wiz sucked in a sharp breath, and All Might turned to her. “Can the Tomb do that?”

“Yes,” Wiz said, her eyes wide, and complexion nearly as pale as when she had been a lich herself. “There are dark rituals that can be performed, as well as items that Ainz has that can force it. He’s done it before.”

“If All For One has become a lich, that means he can raise the dead, does it not?” All Might demanded, and both Tanya and Wiz nodded.

“That explains the reports we’re getting from America and other places,” Endeavor said grimly. “I take it we have to burn the bodies?”

“That won’t work. Mortal flames can’t stop a lich from raising the dead,” Aqua piped up. “You have to purify their spirits to help them move on, or destroy the lich that bound them.”

“And if it’s a Lich from the Tomb, you need a pretty powerful cleric to do that,” Eris added. “Or, well, one of us.”

Izuku’s mind raced, looking to the screen as this All For One pontificated. He knew that this was the great foe All Might had mentioned, but not much more than that. However, he also knew they had to stop Nazarick, at all costs.

“Aqua, do you think you could beat Ainz, if we could get you to him?” Izuku demanded of her, turning to face his goddess.

“Yeah! I could totally beat that stinky old bag of bones!” Aqua declared, puffing out her chest proudly.

Several people looked dubious at that, until Tanya spoke up: “She is the only one he ever feared.”

“That’s not a whole awful lot to go on. You’re risking everything, young Midoriya,” All Might said quietly.

“We take Aqua, and Class 1A,” Izuku said firmly. “The rest of you stay and defend against the Tomb. We beat the Lord of the Tomb, and you stop All For One. If we kill Ainz, hopefully the invasion falters. We have experience fighting him.”

“What about the other classes?” All Might asked.

“You need some people experienced fighting the Tomb, and they don’t have Aqua,” Kazuma said with a shake of his head. “Much as I hate to admit it, the useless goddess is our best bet. I wouldn’t want to go on a dungeon run without her.”

“We’ll need Eris too,” Izuku said with a nod. “I hate to take both our goddesses with us, but just in case we need two…”

“That would be wise,” Tanya agreed. “But we have to go, and now. There is little time if the invasion has already begun. Before long, numbers alone will tell.”

“Right.” All Might nodded, then knelt by Izuku and Kazuma. “Best of luck to you both, Young Midoryiya and Kazuma. The fate of our world, perhaps all worlds, rests in your hands.”

“Tell me one I haven’t heard before,” Kazuma muttered, but then sobered. “Yeah, we got this, old man. You go kick those assholes back to the grave they crawled out of.”

“Visha! Form a circle!” Tanya called. “We are going now! One trip only!”

“Yes, Major!” Visha hastily agreed, and joined hands with Iris, Bakugo, Sero, Yunyun, Eris, Ashido, and Kirishima. Meanwhile, Izuku took Tanya’s hand to his right, while Mei grabbed his left. She gave him a squeeze and smiled, even as Aqua, Megumin, Kazuma, Darkness, Tokoyomi, and Uraraka completed the circle.

“Prepare yourselves!” Tanya barked. “We teleport on my mark! Ready!”

“Ready!” Visha echoed, and Izuku felt his heart thunder in his chest.

“Three!”

He swallowed, letting the power of One for All fill him.

“Two!”

No more death, no more fear. This was going to be it.

“One!”

Izuku closed his eyes, and held his breath.

“MARK!”

The world vanished in an instant, and the final battle for the fate of all worlds well and truly began.