Dark Legend of Potter: THE MAN FROM AZKABAN Chp2 (Patreon)

3.2: How can you kill that which has no life?

There was something oddly surreal about returning to a school you’d once attended as a student as a teacher, and Remus Lupin felt an almost sense of vertigo as he looked up at the entrance to Hogwarts. He dabbed at his eyes, and rested his hand on the head of the dog at his side. “We’re home, Padfoot. After all these years…we’re really home.”

There was a thumping sound as Sirius’ tail wagged, and then Lupin felt something wet on his fingers and jerked them back. “Bloody-! Just because you are a dog doesn’t mean you have to act like one,” Remus grumbled, shaking the fingers where he’d been licked. Sirius just barked once, looking over his shoulder, and Remus turned to see a familiar face striding up the path. “Hagrid!”

“Well bless me heart, Remus Lupin! And all grown up too,” Hagrid thundered, striding forward to wrap Lupin in a hug. That really did make Lupin feel like a small child again, as while Remus was far from a short man, Hagrid overtopped him by nearly three feet, coming up only to Hagrid’s chest.

“Still the keeper of the Keys and Grounds?” Remus inquired once Hagrid let him down.

“O’ course, o’ course. And who’s this handsome chap?” Hagrid asked, kneeling down to pet Sirius, who barked happily and licked at Hagrid while dancing about like an actual dog. He really was too good at that.

“Padfoot II, though I call him Blackie most of the time,” Remus explained. “I’ve had him for quite a while now, but he still acts like a puppy most days.”

“Ah, he’s a good boy, isn’t he?” Hagrid asked, rubbing Sirius’ back. “Wolfhound?”

“Purebred Irish Wolfhound,” Remus confirmed, which was the breed that Sirius seemed to take the shape of. “He’s actually a trained Search and Rescue Dog.”

That was actually entirely true: they’d gone through the course together, which had been pathetically easy for a human in dog form once Sirius had worked out which smells to look for. That combined with some tracking charms had helped locate several lost hikers on Maui, and they’d even flown over to the Big Island and Kawaii at times to help various search and rescue efforts or even act as trainers.

“Smart lad then! Better ‘n Fang, leastways. Ruddy useless that dog is. Never earns his keep. But I keep him around anyway, he’s not bad company.”

“Ah, Hagrid, who’sss our new college?” a sultry female voice said, and Remus turned, then did his best not to stare.

While he was currently in a committed relationship and he would never be caught dead saying Tonks wasn’t the most beautiful woman on the planet, this woman was sex on legs, and sounded like it. She was tall, nearly as tall as Remus, with long dark red hair, violet eyes, high cheekbones, and a low-cut red robe that revealed generous cleavage. She had a sort of sway to her step that was hypnotizing, reminding Remus of a veela.

“This here’s Remus Lupin, a former student come back to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, seein’ as Aqua’s teachin’ history now that Binn’s has finally past on,” Hagrid explained. “Remus, this is Sylvia Syltherin, who’s gonna be teachin’ Care o’ Magical Creatures since old Kettleburn went and retired,” Hagrid explained.

Clearing his throat, Remus bowed. “Charmed, I’m sure.”

To his side, Remus was surprised when Sirius growled at Sylvia. Normally, he was a dog in every sense of the word, panting after any pretty woman, though to the best of Remus’ knowledge, it rarely went past flirting. Was he angry that Remus was looking at a woman that wasn’t his cousin? Probably that.

“Down, boy,” Remus said, putting a hand on Sirius’ head.

“It isss fine,” Sylvia said, kneeling herself, and giving Remus an excellent view down her robes, which he blushed and did his best to look away from. “Ssssome animalsss take a little longer to get usssed to me.”

She extended her hand, and Sirius took a cautious step forward. He sniffed her hand, then sneezed. Wagging his tale, he licked gently, and Sylvia smiled. “A nissse dog. I love dogsss, very tasssty.”

Sirius stopped licking and took a step back, his hackles rising.

“A joke only, I assssure you,” Syliva said with a chuckle, standing again. Something was off about her movements, Remus decided. Definitely like a Veela in that regard, though also subtly different.

“You and Sylvia will get along great,” Hagrid chuckled. “Three o’ us got to stick together, ya know, us and Flitwick.”

“Pardon?” Remus said, blinking in surprise. Sylvia looked puzzled too, looking at Remus out of the corner of her eye.

“Well, yeh know, it’s right progressive o’ Dumbledore, hiring us. Great man, Dumbledore, great man. Woulda voted fer him for Minister, ya know,” Hagrid rumbled. “Well, let’s head in, I’m famished and there’s always some tuck at staff meetin’s.”

Blushing, Remus glanced at Sylvia, who was frowning after Hagrid. He cleared his throat. “It will probably come up, but you should know, for the sake of our students…I am, ah, afflicted with lycanthropy.”

“A werewolf?” Slyvia asked, her eyebrows raising. She nodded thoughtfully. “I sssee. Well, I am the Ssserpent of Ssslytherin, ssso perhapsss we are not sssoo different.” Then she walked after Hagrid, leaving a befuddled Lupin behind.

He looked down at Sirius, who was panting with his mouth open as he watched Sylvia leave. That might have been because he was just as flabbergasted as Remus, or because, well, she really did have a very fascinating walk. “You don’t think…that was a joke, right?”

Sirius only barked, then trotted off after Sylvia and Hagrid, leaving Remus to shake his head and follow.

Inside the Great Hall, the staff were all seated at a circular table in the middle of the room, with the other tables and high table having been removed for now. Remus recognized a fair number of his old teachers, as well as several new faces, and felt a bit wistful as he took his own seat next to Hagrid’s. Snape gave him a sour look, but the others were friendly in their greetings, and Lupin exchanged pleasantries with Aurora Sinestra, who had been two years behind him, but had already been teaching for nearly a decade now.

He was so caught up in the conversation, that he didn’t notice when someone bounced into the room, and took a seat beside him. “Hey Moony, hiya, Padfoot! Long time, no see! How was Hawaii?”

The color drained out of Lupin as he turned to find Aqua sitting next to him, smiling brightly. He hastily bowed his lead. “My lady, we, I, have been well. Thank you, again, for all you’ve done…I…I am honored to be working with you.”

“Fool,” Snape sneered. “I should have known the two of you would get along.”

Lupin was highly offended by that, turning to glare at Snape. Then he caught the looks of exasperation from the rest of the staff as they looked at Aqua, save for Hagrid who waved brightly. “Drinks at the Hog’s Head this evening?”

“You know it! I hope Ol’ Abe has some of that good bubbly left over!” Aqua said happily. Then she stuffed her face with the various pastries and sandwiches set out by the house elves, along with taking an entire bottle of wine out of her robes to drink out of.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. “While this is a staff meeting and there are no students present, may I remind our staff about the rule against indulging during working hours?”

“Oh right, I’ll save it for later,” Aqua agreed, and stuffed the bottle down her bust, taking instead a glass of pumpkin punch.

Lupin wasn’t quite sure how to take all that, but he did his best to look professional as Dumbledore called the meeting to order. Everyone else stopped their conversations and eating and looked to the headmaster, except for Aqua, who took out a napkin and started to doodle with her punch on it.

“Welcome, one and all, to another magical and enlightening year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry,” Dumbledore began. “As you know, we once more have had some turnover on our staff. Professor Binns has, at last, passed on, and will no longer be with us.”

“About ruddy time. Boring old coot,” Hagrid muttered. Remus would have felt offended, but by the expressions of the other staff members, they were all quite glad Binns wasn’t around. However…

“He will be replaced by Miss Aqua Mizu, who has graciously accepted his position, where I am sure she will be better suited,” Dumbledore finished.

“One can only hope,” McGonagall muttered, not quite under her breath, though Aqua didn’t seem to notice, and the other professors did not look hopeful. Aqua apparently missed the whole thing, continuing her art project, oblivious to the glares she was getting.

“In her place, we have Mr. Remus Lupin, who is eminently qualified for the position. Which makes him rather unique among our latest Defense Professors,” Dumbledore said, a twinkle in his eyes. That got a few chuckles from the other professors, though Snape still looked like he smelled something foul. Perhaps himself.

“I look forward to working with you all,” Remus said, standing and bowing. “I’ll do my best to educate the young minds of Wizarding Britain.”

“Well, I suppose someone in your position would know a great deal about the Dark Arts,” Snape drawled, which earned him a growl from Sirius.

“I, ah, yes, I do have a medical condition, though my case is, er, unique,” Remus agreed. “Some of you are aware from my time at Hogwarts as a student, but, er,”

McGonagall gave Remus an encouraging smile. “You were always an excellent student, and very versed in Defense. You’ll make a fine professor.”

“Yeah!” Aqua added, looking up from her artwork. “And if you disagree, that’s ‘cause you’re racist!”

That earned her several very odd looks from around the table from those not in the know, though Dumbledore’s brows had furrowed. “Unique, Remus? I had not planned on informing the entire staff, though Severus and Minerva do already know…”

“Well, you see, it’s like this,” Remus said with a sigh. “It’s only a waning gibbous right now, but…ah, I could demonstrate…”

“Oh please, do. I’m sure everyone would like to know your furry little secret,” Snape cut in with a dark chuckle.

“Yes, well, I won’t really be needing the Wolfsbane potions, so-”

“Wolfsbane?” Sinestra said, sitting up and blinking. “Remus, you’re not-”

Sighing, he rolled his shoulders. “I guess I should just show you. If you wouldn’t mind, sir?” he asked Dumbledore, who nodded, looking bemused.

“You go, Remus!” Aqua said, holding up a fist. “Solidarity!”

He nodded, took a deep breath, and stepped back from the table. Then he transformed.

There were gasps of shock and cries of surprise, with Sprout’s hands flying to her mouth. Flitwick, on the other hand, steepled his fingers and murmured, “Interesting, very interesting…” while McGonagall’s jaw dropped in astonishment.

“I, uh, well, I’m a werewolf, but lately, something’s been different,” Remus rumbled, reaching a clawed hand up to scratch the back of his neck. He’d grown a furry muzzle and wolf-like ears, with a tail sprouting from his back. He was also about a foot taller so that the hem of his robe was far off the ground, and his shoulders were much broader. He smiled awkwardly, then stopped when he remembered he now had a mouth full of sharp teeth.

“I…I assume you’re on the Wolfsbane potion?” Sinestra asked, looking dazed. “I…I never knew…how long?”

“Since I was a boy, though as I said, I used to be a more, er, traditional werewolf,” Lupin explained awkwardly.

“Those are lame though, so Eris fixed you. We should have done it a while ago but I didn’t want to spoil the surprise!” Aqua said brightly. “You look super cool now though!”

“A most astonishing transformation,” Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. “I take it you know Miss Mizu rather well, then?”

“She, uh, helped me in a dark time,” Lupin admitted. “I’m technically a Fortuna Cultist, but I do have an Axis Shrine too.”

“Hmph. Mine should be bigger and fancier than that chest-padding floozy,” Aqua grumbled but then sighed. “But, you always were Eris’ favorite, so it’s only fair since I got Luna and Lavlav.”

“Were you exposed to True SIlver?” Flitwick asked, standing up on his seat to peer across the table at Lupin.

“Not that I know of. I just...sort of started to transform like this. And, er, well…I can control it now, except during the full moon,” Lupin explained.

“So now you can smell like wet dog all the time instead of just once a month,” Snape snorted. “Wonderful.”

Well it beats being a rude arse at every opportunity, Lupin thought very, very loudly. He shifted back to his regular shape though, and sat back down. “I suppose I’m closer to some sort of odd werewolf animagus now, truth be told.”

“That’s very interesting, and I believe several other staff members would be interested in studying your condition,” Dumbledore mused, earning nods from Flitwick, McGonagall, and Madam Pomfrey. “Well, that does bring me to our other new staff member, who is replacing Professor Kettleburn as he has retired to enjoy the last of his fingers.”

That diverted everyone’s attention and brought some chuckles, though Aqua muttered, “I could have healed them if he’d just asked.”

“I would trasssform too, but I wouldn’t want to assssicendtally petrify any of you,” Sylvia said, waving. “Alssso, I am not sssertain I could change back, and I much prefer my current form for making friendsss.”

That brought chuckles as people apparently thought Sylvia was joking. However, Lupin was starting to suspect that things had gone very wrong at Hogwarts. He was right of course, and the culprit was currently drawing a self-portrait in pumpkin juice on her napkin.

“Yes, well, I have checked Miss Slytherin’s credentials, and I assure you they are impeccable,” Dumbledore said with a smile and wink.

“Yesss. I am very good with magical creaturesss,” Sylvia agreed. “Though I have been told we’re not allowed to raise sssome of the more interesssting ones.”

“Pity that,” Hagrid sighed. “Got a bloke who can get yeh a deal on nundu cubs.”

“Yes, well, the goal is to teach the students how to care for magical creatures, not terrorize the student population,” Dumbledore said, then frowned. “Which, unfortunately, I am sad to inform you, is all too likely to happen this year.”

“Well, we are letting back Potter,” Trelawny observed. “I foresee a great calamity at her hands this year…”

“You don’t have to be a seer to know that,” McGonagall said, grimacing. “Have you seen the papers?”

“Tonks told me,” Lupin said with a shake of his head. “Why’d she go and cast a spell like that, and where the muggles could see it to boot?”

“I’m afraid that’s not what I am referring to,” Dumbledore said, his tone grim. “And indeed, I am afraid the board and the Minister have forced my hand here.”

“Why, Albus, we merely wish to keep all the students safe!” A jovial voice said, even as cold sweat began to break out all over Remus’ body, and he felt a gnawing sense of dread in his stomach. Sirius began to growl, the hackles on the dog’s back rising as he stood from where he’d been laying beside Lupin’s chair.

Pulling out his wand, Lupin stood and whirled. He spied a vaguely familiar pudgy man in his middle years in a fine robe and hat walking forward. But that man wasn’t what drew the eye: It was the dark shadow floating forward at his side.

“Dementor!” Lupin snarled, raising his wand. “EXPECTO-”

A hand laid on Remus’ arm, and  he looked over to see Aqua, her blue eyes glowing brightly.

“Oh? You’re approaching me? You’re actually approaching me?” Aqua chuckled, spreading her other arm expansively.

“Eh? I don’t follow,” the pudgy man said. “Anyway, to help protect against the threat of Sirius Black-”

The man in question barked several times, putting himself between the man and the Dementor, his fangs bared angrily.

“What, who’s dog is this!? Control your mutt, you’re threatening the Minister for Magic, don’t you know,” the man harrumphed as the Dementor floated forward, reaching out a hand.

“Sirius, down!” Lupin barked, then heard an oddly distinctive sound. He turned to see Aqua cracking her knuckles, a slightly manic grin on her face.

“It’s been a while since a demon was ballsy enough to step up to me,” she chuckled, and a blue aura sprang up around her.

The Dementor halted its forward progress, and in fact began to slowly float backwards.

“Stuff and nonsense. No worries, I have this one and the others outside completely under my control,” Fudge said with a derisive snort.

“You brought Dementors onto school grounds!? Are you mad!?” McGonagall demanded. “You know better than this, Fudge!”

“It’s a temporary measure until the criminal Sirius Black is brought into custody,” Fudge said testily. “We are simply-wait, where are you going? Come back here!”

The Dementor had turned around and was already speeding away, flying away as fast as it could for the door.

“You think you can run from me!?” Aqua demanded, and with a blue blur of speed, dashed forward, reaching the doors before the Dementor could. It immediately spun about and fled in the other direction, heading for a back door.

“What is- stop that this instant! If you harass them, I’m not responsible for them attacking you!” Fudge protested.

“Oh, I would like to see them try!” Aqua cackled, now chasing the Dementor around the large room, with the creature obviously frantic now, waving its arms about in a frenzy.

“Are you suggesting you don’t have full control as you assured me, and that the Dementors could attack my staff or students?” Dumbledore asked quietly, his tone all the more menacing for that.

“No, not at all!” Fudge blustered. “It’s just, well, she’s provoking it and…what on Earth?”

Finally realizing that its foe was terrestrial, the Dementor had floated up to the ceiling, where it was trying desperately to hide behind one of the beams.

“Get down here! That’s cheating!” Aqua ranted, shaking her fist at the thing. “Come down and face the Wrath of a Goddess!”

“Er, well, ah, at least it didn’t attack you!” Fudge harrumphed, folding his arms over his chest and scowling fiercely. He turned back to Dumbledore. “Look, this is the best security I can provide. I won’t make the mistake my predecessor did and let Black escape the Ministry a second time. That vile fiend could be anywhere!”

“Even in this room?” Lupin asked dryly. Sirius sneezed, and padded over to the Minister, where he began to sniff at the man’s leg.

“Don’t be ridiculous, my Dementor would sort him out if he- off! Bad dog! Filthy beast!” Fudge snapped, shaking his leg at Sirius. “Shoo! Go away! Bad dog!”

“Blackie, here,” Remus called, and snapped his fingers.

Sirius gave Remus an exasperated look over his shoulder, then turned and lopped back to lay at Lupin’s side, where he panted and gave Fudge a doggy grin. It was rather amusing, actually.

“Well, I withdraw my complaints about…other staffing choices, if those…things…are to be on this campus,” Snape said, his lips drawn back in a sneer. “Though what incompetent fool would put monsters at an institution for children is beyond me.”

“Well they let you teach, don't they?” Lupin muttered under his breath.

“What was that?” Snape snarled, his head snapping around. He always did have good hearing.

“I said that we can hardly teach with Dementors patrolling the halls,” Lupin said more loudly, and several heads nodded.

“Oh, not that, not that. They’ll just be patrolling the grounds, keeping an eye on- where did Miss Mizu go?” Fudge asked.

Everyone looked about, but Aqua had disappeared from where she’d been pacing below the Dementor, while the dark robed shape’s head was jerking about wildly.

From above, they heard a single line. “Nothing personel, kid.”

Everyone looked up to see Aqua, who had appeared behind the Dementor. It spun about, and for the first time, Lupin heard a Dementor scream in terror. It was a sound like grinding gears and tearing metal, and he winced involuntarily.

For her part, Aqua let out a series of cries as she punched the Dementor repeatedly, even as she was hovering in midair. “ATATATATATATATATA!” As she did so, blue light covered her fists and crashed into the Dementor, which flung its arms wide, the Dementor’s scream petering off.

At last, Aqua finished her assault and fell to the floor, where she landed in a perfect three-point pose.

“What the bloody hell was that?!” Fudge demanded in exasperation.

Standing, Aqua turned about to the Dementor, which still floated in mid-air, frozen. She extended her index finger, and said in a rough voice, “Omae wa mou shindeiru.”

“N-NANI!?” the Dementor shrieked, which was the first time Lupin had ever heard anything remotely coherent from one. Then its robes began to bulge wildly as its arms flailed about. A moment later, it exploded in a burst of blue light, as Aqua lowered her arms to her sides, her fists clenched as she breathed out eyes closed.

There was astonished silence for several moments. Lupin thought he could have heard a pin drop if not for the pounding of his own blood in his ears.

“I can still smell them outside,” Aqua said, turning towards the door. She started to walk, tilting her head from side to side and rolling her shoulders as if to prepare for a fight. “I’ll be just a moment.”

They all watched her for a second, and Fudge was the first to break the spell. “She can’t just- that’s IMPOSSIBLE! No one can kill a Dementor! It’s never been done!”

“Well, I dare say that is no longer the case,” Dumbledore said, walking over to where the tattered bits of robe had fallen to the floor. He prodded them with his wand, lifting one up. “This one seems to have been rather thoroughly destroyed.”

“But…but I brought half the flock here…how could she- NO!” Fudge raced for the outside, and Lupin hurried after him, the rest of the teachers following.

Out in the courtyard, they saw a lone woman, standing alone on a small hillock a short distance away. Around her, dozens of Dementors were hovering, slowly drifting closer. A breeze was blowing, and though the Dementor’s robes did not stir, Aqua’s hair blew in the breeze, her ponytail held in place by her hair ornament.

“No! Stop, don’t attack her!” Fudge cried frantically, waving his arms, but the Dementors ignored him. He grabbed his hat and pulled it down about his ears, looking panicked. “They’re ignoring me! I can’t- they’re out of control! That poor girl will be drained dry! They’ll Kiss her for sure!”

“Quick, those of you who can, Patronuses!” Remus barked, raising his wand again.

To his shock, Aqua began to laugh. She turned her head, putting her finger to her lips. “Oh Remus. This fight is already unfair enough.”

“Yes, no one can hold off that many Dementors! EXPECTO-”

“Oh no no,” Aqua said with a shake of her head. A deadly gleam shone in her eyes. “I meant for them.” She whirled about, a flower tipped staff appearing in her hands. “NOW! YOU FACE THE FURY OF A GODDESS! COME AT ME, ALL YE HORDES OF HELL! COME, AND KNOW DESPAIR!”

The Dementors shrieked, and as one, dove for Aqua, hands outstretched, darkness and fog forming around them. For a moment, the view was obscured, even as Lupin and the other professors desperately conjured Patronuses. Before they could send them to help Aqua though, there was a blinding flash of blue light, and Aqua’s silhouette appeared in the inky black in glowing radiance.

“SACRED! EXORCISM!”

The earth shook, and Lupin stumbled slightly as a shockwave blasted out. The Dementors screamed again, and the light was so blinding that Lupin had to shut his eyes. When he opened them, Aqua stood, grinning, black tatters of cloth fluttering down around her in the breeze. Out of nowhere, an unseen orchestra played a triumphant tune, with Aqua pumping her arms in the air music swelled.

“Tee hee!” Aqua giggled, striking a victory pose and raising two fingers to her forehead in a “V” sign. “Those low level demons were no match for a goddess like me! The Axis Cult prevails!”

Lupin blinked, then turned to Dumbledore. “Sir, with all due respect…are you certain you want me as your Defense Professor? I mean, I don’t think I’m bad, but…” He gestured to where the scattered remains of the Dementors continued to rain down. “I can’t do THAT.”

“Why by Merlin’s beard, couldn’t she have done that last year?!” McGonagall croaked. “She…she…how could she…?”

“For all her wonderful talents, I’m afraid Miss Mizu was, ah, not quite able to pass on her own impressive skills to the youth,” Dumbledore said, stroking his beard and looking thoughtful. He turned to Fudge. “I do believe we shall need a new plan. You seem to be short of Dementors at the moment.”

“I guess…we could assign an Auror?” Fudge said lamely.

A lightbulb went on in Remus’ head. “You know, I think I might have a suggestion as to that…”

Laying on her bed, Tonks sighed. Things had been going so well, and then Megumin had gone and blown up half the bloody sea, and Sirius Black had reappeared. She’d still been hoping to spend a few lovely days with Remus before the start of Term, but he’d had to report in already to prepare for the upcoming school year.

“I suppose there’s always visits to Hogsmeade,” she said forlornly, sitting up and looking about her flat. Chris was on the road again, leaving her alone to stew. She had been hoping to take advantage of that privacy, but, well…

The phone rang, and Tonks briefly considered ignoring it. With a sigh, she stood and walked over, picking it up. “Wotcher.”

“Ah, Miss Tonks,” the voice of Cornelius Fudge said. “Just the woman I was hoping to speak to.”

“You know how to use the phone?” Tonks said, shocked. She hadn’t thought any older wizards had a clue when it came to such things. Her mum still had her husband or Tonks make calls for her, muttering about ‘new-fangled muggle contraptions’ despite the phone being a bloody century old at this point.

“What?! Of course I do! I’m the Minister for Magic!”

Tonks was silent for a moment, wincing and mentally kicking herself for her verbal gaffe. She was going to get fired if she kept this up.

“Hello? Hello? Can you hear me?! Confounded muggle contraptions! You there, did it break?! Oh blast it, you talk to her!”

There was some noise, then the most wonderful voice said, “Hello, Tonks? It’s Remus.”

“Oh, yes, um, ‘lo Remus!” Tonks said brightly, feeling like an idiot. “Er, why’s the Minister calling me? Where are you?”

“Hogsmead, I know you haven’t a floo at your flat so this was the best way to contact you. The Minister wants to reassign you.”

“Er, right, I suppose he can do that, but really it should come from Director Bones since she’s the head of the DMLE,” Tonks said, scratching at her hair, which had gone polka-dotted in her perplexity.

“Yes, well, he was going to assign some Dementors to provide security at Hogwarts, but-”

“Is he bloody mental!? Dementors at Hogwarts?! That’s a stupid idea!” Tonks gasped, then winced. “Um, he can hear me, can’t he?”

“No, this isn’t a speakerphone,” Remus said with a chuckle. “Well, do you want the good news or the bad news first?”

“Well, Dementors at Hogwarts has to be the bad news, so there should bloody well better be some damn good news!” Tonks said, leaning against the wall and puffing out her cheeks in exasperation.

“Well, that’s actually the bad news. The Dementors are all dead.”

“They’re what?” Tonks demanded, standing up straight in surprise and growing an inch while she was at it.

“Aqua killed them all. Rather spectacular, really,” Remus mused.

“I…I suppose so,” Tonks said, blinking in astonishment. “You mean Mizu? How…”

“She’s, ah, very talented,” Remus admitted. “Anyway, with the Dementors dead, we need a new security system. How do you feel about spending a few months as the Hogwarts Campus Security Officer?”

A slow grin spread over Tonk’s lips. “Well, I think I could see my way to doing that.”

After a brief conversation, in which Tonks assured the Minister she’d be happy to take a posting at Hogwarts, even if it was long hours. When she hung up, Tonks did a little happy dance, pumping her fist in excitement. “Yes, yes, yes!”

It seemed her year, and her love life, were off to a pretty good start.

Somewhere, Aqua and Chris exchanged a high-five.

Everything was coming together.

Author’s Note:

You know, I’ve been thinking. What would be the better crack pairing? Sylvia x Hagrid, or Sylvia x Sirius. Either way, having them compete to woo her would be hilarious. Let me know in the comments your own wild ships.

PHILO: I just want it to be known that my greatest moment of helping this chapter was suggesting the Final Fantasy Victory Theme.