Work Smarter, Not Harder: Rule 34 with Arue P1 (NSFW) (Patreon)

For being the home of Megumin, the Crimson Demon Village had, so far, been rather ordinary. Granted, Kazuma had just arrived, but the buildings looked like a stereotypical quaint medieval village, with thatched roofed houses with whitewashed walls, and little gardens in front, complete with garden gnomes and goblins. Actually, on second look, Kazuma saw that they appeared to be monsters that had been petrified and shrunk, then dressed with cute little props.

Nevermind. This place was as weird and disturbing as Megumin was, and like her hid its true malice behind a cutesy exterior.

For now, Megumin had run off with Aqua and Darkness to get “prepared” for their meeting at the Red Prison. Kazuma wasn’t certain what kind of whack jobs the Crimson Demon Clan thought needed to be locked up, but they had to be dangerous.

Still, wandering around waiting for the two was at least amusing, even if Megumin had already shown him the Cat Girl shrine and so on. He made his way towards the Red Prison, half hesitant, half curious enough to wonder just what was locked up there. When he got close enough to see the sign outside the building, Kauzma stopped and put his head in his hands.

RED PRISON MIDDLE AND HIGH SCHOOL

Training the minds of tomorrow, today!

Of course. He should have known.

“Ah, who is this? A mysterious outlander approaches the most sacred of our institutions? What malign intent has led you here, I wonder?”

Spinning around, Kazuma pointed an accusatory finger. “Look, I don’t care what you’ve heard, I’m not a lolicon!” Then he blushed, as he saw the person he’d been accusing.

It was a girl who appeared to be a little older than he was, dressed in school robes with a black overrobe, and a pink undergown along with an orange and red necktie. She had on a red eyepatch, as well as a large purple bow in her curled dark hair. Her lipstick was dark, and her expression cool and collected. And she had what had to be one of the largest sets of boobs that Kazuma had seen on her somewhat petite frame. Seriously, those things were as big as Darkness’ while being only a little taller than Megumin.

The girl smiled at him knowingly and tapped at her lips with the nib of a dark quill pen she was holding in one hand. “Oh ho, then you must be none other than Kazuma Sato, the outsider man that Megumin has attached herself to.”

“Well, I uh, yes, she’s in my party,” Kazuma said defensively, frowning at the girl. He also just sort of stopped trying not to stare at her boobs. Especially when she started walking towards him, and they started bouncing. Apparently, Crimson Demons didn’t believe in proper support.

“I have heard you are a lascivious and rapacious man, Kazuma Sato. Tell me, in the dark of the night, is it your name that Megumin cries out amidst her throes of passion?”

That particular statement was weird enough that it got Kazuma to look up with a start and meet the girl’s eyes. “What? I’m not a- whatever those words mean. Because they sound pretty bad! And it’s not like that! We’re just party members! If she cries out anything in the night, it’s Explosion!”

A grin spread over Arue’s lips, and she whipped out a small black notebook, hastily scrawling down something. “Hmm, yes, that is good! An Explosion of love, the ultimate climax! So then, is it the noble yet buxom knight who’s heart you have stolen, or perhaps the cool and calm blue priestess who has tempted you away from Megumin’s crimson passions?”

“What?! No! Do you even KNOW those girls!? You might think this is some sort of harem rom-com scenario, but I assure you, it’s not! Yeah, in the stories a man in my situation would have three beauties throwing themselves at him and competing for him, but that’s not how it works, lady! And even if it was, why would I wanna date any of them!? Sure, they’re pretty to look at, but their personalities are a dumpster fire!”

“A…dumpster…fire?” the woman said, frowning and tapping her lips with the pen nib again. Kazuma realized she didn’t have on lipstick: Her lips were stained with ink, and so was her tongue. “That is a most evocative phrase. One that shows both the fires of passion and the refuse that has been tossed aside.”

“Uh, I guess. Anyway, no, I’m not dating or sleeping with any of the girls,” Kazuma grumbled. He glared at the woman. “Who are you, anyway?”

“Oh!” The woman started in confusion, pausing in the middle of writing something else down. She hastily struck a pose, putting the pen up by her forehead, and the book out to the side. “BEHOLD! I am Arue! Foremost Author of the Crimson Demon Clan, and she who has taken the literary world by storm!”

“Wait a second,” Kazuma said, his eyes narrowing. “You’re the one who wrote that weird letter that made Yunyun think she had to sleep with me! She came over and demanded to have my child, only to find out the village hadn’t been destroyed and there wasn’t a weird prophecy, it was just some Harlequin romance novel!”

“Oh, oh that is good!” Arue said, grinning eagerly and dropping her pose to hastily scribble in her notebook. “So, Yunyun, bereaved and bereft of all comfort, threw herself into the bed of Megumin’s lover to seek solace for her shattered heart, and to bear a child to carry on the village's legacy! And, when Megumin stumbles upon the two of you together, she tearfully declares that she has fallen in love with you as well! Then, she and Yunyun kiss, and declare that their fertile wombs must carry on the Crimson Bloodline! They agree to share you, and Megumin disrobes, offering her naked lily to your throbbing trumpet flower!”

Kazuma, who had been getting rather into this little fantasy, suddenly shook his head. “Wait, what?! What are you even talking about?”

With a start, Arue dropped her pen which had been racing across her page. She tried to hide it, but she blushed mightily, even as she drew herself up. “I, of course, am a romance author. Since you have never been with a woman, if you must know, I was describing the act of ultimate intimacy, when a woman’s blossom opens up, and a man claims it with his own turgid virility.”

“...I got that you were going for that, but what the hell is up with the flower metaphors? Do your parents own a florist shop or something?”

This time, Arue looked away and was completely unable to hide her blush. “...they are the foremost florists of the Crimson Demon Clan.”

“Right. Sure they are,” Kazuma said, bending down to pick up the pen.

Arue’s eyes flashed dangerously, and she snagged the pen out of Kazuma’s hand. “They are! All in the village proclaim that not only are they the most gifted at horticulture and that our greenhouse produces the most exquisite blossoms, but that their skill at arranging the flowers and casting preserving charms upon the arrangements are unrivaled! Why, when she was but a girl, it was my mother who traveled to the capitol to provide the bouquets for the wedding of Melarc Belzerg and Alice Dustiness! It was there she met my father, and, in their shared passion of floral arrangements, conceived me upon a bed of roses on the very night that the king and queen were wed!”

Kazuma gave her a flat look. “Yeah, that timeline doesn’t add up. I don’t know much about politics here, but I know the king has a son that’s like 20 or something. You look like you’re what, eighteen, nineteen?”

“...sixteen. I had my birthday last week,” Arue muttered, which earned her a start of surprise from Kazuma. She was only a year older than Megumin and Yunyun? Heck, she was a few months younger than him, instead of being years older like he’d thought.

“So, that’s a load of bull then,” Kazuma scoffed.

Arue whirled on him. “No! It’s a very romantic story! One of my first, and best!” She pulled another notebook out of her robes and shoved it at Kazuma. “I had to play around with the dates, and I cast my father as a Crimson Demon who was raised by Outlanders instead of being born and raised here in the village like the rest of us, because that wasn’t interesting enough! And yes, I know that lying on a bed of roses would be terribly uncomfortable unless it was just the petals since you’d be pricked by the thorns!”

Kazuma flipped open the book, expecting it to be nothing but prose so purple that it turned ultraviolet. “Yeah, I assumed it was just the petals.”

Moeruisen cried out, wrapping her arms about Sunappudoragon as his mighty stamen began to quiver-

Kazuma’s eyes went wide, and his face went flaming red as he realized he was reading about Arue’s parents making love. It was very weird, but also, kinda hot. Some of her prose was…odd, and after a bit, Kazuma realized something. He looked up at Arue, a sneer on his face. She glowered right back.

“What? Do you think to mock my story?”

“I mean, it’s fine, I guess, it’s just…you’ve never actually seen a penis before, have you?”

Arue went stiff as a board, and this time she went so red that Kazuma was surprised he couldn’t hear a kettle whistling. “I, of course! I-I have had many lovers! Both men, and women! So, of course I have seen a…a, ah, phallus before. I know exactly what it looks like!”

“Really?” Kazuma folded his arms and gave Arue a shit eating grin. “So, describe it for me, then.”

“It, um, well, it’s ah…” Arue made vague shapes in the air with her fingers and hands. “It is…so long, and, um, is tucked down the, er, trouser leg, and bunches up when aroused. It is, ah, of the shape of a…fish? And, ah, wiggles like one, to er, stimulate the partner?”

“Virgin,” Kazuma said with a snort. “You have no  idea, do you?”

“Oh? Then describe to me what female genitalia looks like, if you are so well informed!” Arue snapped, snatching her notebook back from Kazuma, still as red as if she’d been sunbathing for a week.

Shit. It’s always got that damn black bar or blur in all the doujins! Kazuma thought, going pale himself. “Well, obviously, I have-”

“Ah ha! You have never seen a naked woman before either, have you?!” Arue said, now going flush with excitement as she pointed her pen at Kazuma accusatorily.

“Well, Darkness walked in on me in the bath once, and I sort of got a look!” Kazuma protested. “And at least I don’t try to write smut without knowing the first thing about how it even works! Have you even seen a porno or read an H-manga?”

“A…what?” Arue asked, frowning in consternation. “I have not heard of this sort of literature before. Although…a woman walking in on a man who is in the bath…normally, it is the other way around…hmm…yes, yes that is most interesting…”

Arue began to write again, apparently completely forgetting Kazuma was even there as she scribbled something down. He looked at her, completely stunned, then a thought occurred. He tiptoed closer, peering over Arue’s shoulder as she wrote.

As she stepped into the bathhouse, Darkness sighed, feeling the aches and pains of the day's labors. Curse those damn kobolds! They had made her feel filthy! She needed a good, long hot soak. Stripping off her armor, she groaned in satisfaction, exposing her pale and tender flesh. Though she was a warrior, her body was unmarred with scars, and the dark circles of her breasts stood out against the milky white of her skin.

Casting aside her garments, she opened the door in a swirl of steam and stepped into the bath with a sigh. However, there was a splash, and she turned to see her adventuring companion and gasped.

There was Kazuma’s  wiry frame, his dark brooding eyes gazing at her. Though he was but a low-level Adventurer, his hard years of campaigning had left him whipcord thin, and his manly muscles stood out under the dark hair of his chest. He turned to her, scowling in surprise, and Darkness’s eyes were drawn down. She gasped.

“So, foreign men are given legendary equipment by the gods!” she gasped, as Kazuma’s mighty member swung from side to side.

“This paltry thing? Do not be afraid, fair maiden, it does not bite,” Kazuma said, and gave Darkness a wicked grin. “Save but for the tenderest of flesh. An orc once sought to claim me, but I proved too mighty, and when she impaled herself-

“Can you take that bit out, actually? I had a really bad experience with orcs, totally killing my boner here.”

Arue let out a squeak and jumped about two meters into the air, coming down with her notebook brandished like a shield before her face as she tried to hide. “Ah! You are, um, still there! What are you doing, peeking at a maiden’s private almanac?”

“Well, you were writing about me,” Kazuma pointed out. “I like the part about my mighty member. Megumin just made fun of me when she saw Lil’ Kazuma.”

“Megumin…s-she has handled your, ah, sword?” Arue asked, blushing and leaning forward until her nose was actually touching Kazuma’s. She was breathing hard, and her red eye was shining just like Megumin’s did when someone mentioned Explosion magic. “So, you two did share a night of passion! You claimed her maidenhead!? What was it like, your time together?! You must tell me!”

“You’ve got the wrong idea! I was dead, see, and Megumin doodled on me! When I went to take a bath after Aqua revived me, I found her stupid little message!”

“Oh…” Arue leaned back and looked disappointed. “That is disappointing. Although…what if it had been a magic seal she placed upon you that brought you back to life? And then, when your holy sword rose, she was unable to contain herself, and-”

“Will you keep it down?!” Kazuma said, clapping a hand over Arue’s mouth. “We’re at a SCHOOL! What if someone hears you talking like that?! They’ll think I’m a huge pervert and I’ll get sent to court and never be allowed within 500 meters of a school again and always have to introduce myself to the neighbors as a sex offender!”

“Ah, I see,” Arue said, considering. She nodded. “Come, I know where we can talk in private.” Taking Kazuma’s hand, she surged forward, and Kazuma let out an oof as he was dragged along. How was she this strong!? He was level 15, but she felt like-

Oh, right. Crimson Demon. High-level Archwizard. Stupidly high base stats. Damn cheaters.

Arue led Kazuma into the Red Prison, and through the winding halls until they came to a dusty wooden door at the back end of a hall. Arue took out a key and opened it, then dragged Kazuma inside, and shut the door behind him.

Within, Kazuma didn’t find the dusty old storage room he’d expected, but a cozy little office. There was a large wooden desk with a bookshelf above it, one that had nearly two dozen black notebooks on it, and another was sitting open on the desk itself, half filled with writing already. There was a fireplace that was cold and dark until Arue lit it with a word and a gesture, and then it blazed merrily. There were two overstuffed armchairs by the fire and more bookshelves filled with books with titles like “The Perilous Heart” and “The Boudoir of the Beast.”

Arue guided Kazuma over to one of the overstuffed armchairs and shoved him into it, then sat down in the one across from him and leaned forward, pen at the ready. “Now, tell me more of these romantic exploits of yours.”

“Have you been listening!? I haven’t actually done anything you’re suggesting!” Kazuma snapped, leaning back in the armchair and trying to sulk. It was actually extremely comfortable, which made it hard to be in a foul mood.

“Yes, but you keep telling me the most interesting stories. With just a bit of enhancement, I could easily craft a wondrous tale of romance and intrigue, where what should have taken place does, and your tales of sensual escapades become known far and wide.”

A light slowly went on in Kazuma’s head. “What, like a Dear Penthouse sort of thing?” When Arue gave him a puzzled look, he said, “Like I’m some sort of ecchi Harem MC.”

“Ah, yes, exactly! I have a copy of the Sacred Texts here!” Arue said eagerly and ran over to a bookshelf. There, she pulled out an honest-to-Eris copy of Golden Boy, Volume 3. She raced back over, holding it up to the gobsmacked Kazuma. “I cannot understand the words, but the passion conveyed on the page! I have several volumes of this work, though I am missing many of them. If I could learn to write like this, my magnum opus would truly be complete!”

Kazuma took the manga, looked at it, then back up at Arue. “You’ve read this and you still don’t know what a penis looks like?”

She blushed and looked away. “I, ah, I am missing those volumes. The ones I have…”

“It’s all blurred out, I get it, I’ve read these too,” Kazuma said with a shrug. He actually hadn’t read Golden Boy, but he had watched a couple episodes of the anime.

“You…you can understand the Sacred Texts!?” Arue gasped and ripped the book out of Kazuma’s hands. She turned to the first page and pointed. “What does it say?!”

“Uh, well, in the first panel, she says ‘take that,’ then there’s some onomatopoeia…”

Arue listened raptly as Kazuma read through the worn manga, pointing to each of the words as he read, and blushing slightly as he got to the part where the girls walked in on Kintaro while he was cleaning the bathroom, or when he had to explain that the hotel manager had set up a hidden camera and was running a peep show.

“I see, so this nefarious wizard has set up some sort of scrying mirror, and uses it to spy upon the carnal acts of these collage women?” Arue said thoughtfully.

“Uh, it’s college, not collage. They’re in school, not an art project,” Kazuma corrected, but Arue was ignoring him and was already furiously writing. Out of curiosity, Kazuma went over to peek at the paper, leaning on the arm of her chair.

The Dark Wizard Kazuma sat in his tower, his fingers running over his scrying orb as he spied upon Princess Arue. She was his one true love and desire, and his mouth salivated as he gazed upon her nubile flesh as she moaned in the shadows of her own room. Her left hand clutched at her breast, round and perfect, squeezing it, as her other stroked her secret place. Her midnight hair was strewn about behind her on the pillow, her porcelain skin soaked with sweat.

She was to be wed to another soon, a man she did not love and was giving herself the loving caress her fiance lacked. Kazuma breathed hard as he watched her perfect form, longing for her. He himself was nude, his broad shoulders hunched, his face screwed up with animal lust, his furry chest heaving with passion. His hands-

Arue stopped writing and looked up, making Kazuma jerk back and blush. “Do men…pleasure themselves?”

“Uh…” Kazuma’s eyes went wide, and he leaned back, nervous sweat breaking out all over his body. Arue leaned towards him over the arm of the chair, her red eyes glowing excitedly. She’d taken off the eye patch, and Kazuma found himself meeting her eyes despite himself.

“I have ascertained how a woman may minister to herself, and partake of it, especially after I have written something particularly brilliant. But I am uncertain, do men do the same?”

“Yes,” Kazuma squeaked, then fell over as Arue leaned over him even more eagerly.

“You do!? Describe it to me! Also, I must know what the male organ looks like! I have had to go off of incomplete sketches and vague descriptions! But for my work, my art, I must know the truth! Show me Kazuma Sato!”

“You…you want me to do what?” Kazuma gasped as Arue leaned down over her, a manic grin spread across her face. His gaze fell to her breasts once more, the tie hanging down so that it was lying on his chest. He looked back up to Arue and swallowed, and found she was blushing. Then she let out a gasp and fell on top of him with a thud.

“Ow!” Kazuma grunted, glaring at Arue and shoving him off of himself. “That hurt! You’re heavy!”

“Hmph. Will you show me or not?” Arue demanded, sitting up and fussing with her hair.

“Show you-?! Are you crazy!? If anyone ever heard, my reputation would be ruined forever! I’d be called a pervert forever!”

“So? Everyone already calls me a pervert, it is not so bad,” Arue said with a shrug.

A light turned on in Kazuma’s head. “Do you…Do you write stories about..uh…all the people you know?”

“Well, obviously not,” Arue said with a frown, and Kazuma heaved a sigh of relief. “I don’t have time to write about everyone. But all my stories star my friends. I recently went through my ‘yuri phase,’ where I wrote excessively of Yunyun and Megumin’s budding romances, as well as Funifura and Dodonko’s tempestuous and tragic tale of love and woe.”

Sniffing, Kazuma wiped away the blood that had dribbled out of his nose. “You uh…you wrote about Megumin and Yunyun…together?”

“Oh yes, that volume is…” Arue trained off, and a mischievous smile spread over her face. “You wish to read my writing?”

“Yes please,” Kazuma said, nodding eagerly. “I’ll give you 10,000 eris!”

“I do not want 10,000 eris. I want to see your, ah, manhood.”

“Seriously? You want me to flash you?”

“If you do, I will allow you to peruse my works,” Arue said loftily. She sat up and picked up her pen and notebook. “Now, shall we?”

“I, uh…you won’t, you know, scream, and call me a stupid pervert, and slap me? Because if you do, I believe in gender equality! I’ll drop-kick you right out that window!”

“What? Why would I do that? I have requested that you show me, have I not? Why would I demean and defame you? If you wish, I will vow that I will tell no one of what I saw.”

“Actually, I’d prefer you tell everyone that it’s the most massive dick you’ve ever seen in your life, that I’m hung like a horse, and that you personally envy any woman who gets to claim my virginity.”

Arue nodded and opened her mouth. “I so swear that I, Arue-”

“Actually, instead of that bit about claiming my virginity, what about you say instead that you think any girl who got to be with me was lucky? I uh, I don’t want it to spread around any further that I’m a virgin NEET.”

“Are you not employed?” Arue asked, confused. “I thought you were an adventurer, and a well-to-do one at that.”

“Well, I am, I even have a business where I sell Japanese designs to a shop, and I have a big payday coming! But everyone keeps calling me a NEET!”

“Ah, I understand. I am an author, yet everyone calls me a NEET or part-timer.”

“Well, have you published anything?” Kazuma asked bluntly.

That earned him a glare. “I will be published when I am ready! The world is simply not yet prepared for my genius!”

“Uh huh. Well, last chance. Do you really want me to whip it out or not?”

Arue nodded solemnly. “I will indeed tell everyone you have the largest, ah, penis, that I have ever seen.”

“And you also won’t tell them that it’s the only weiner you’ve spied?”

That caused Arue to cough and blush again. “Er, yes, I will not mention that part, and shall endeavor to imply I have seen many men in the nude, and you are merely the most well-endowed.”

“Deal.” Kazuma stood up and put his hands on the laces of his trousers, while Arue watched solemnly, pen poised to record. Then, he hesitated. “I, um, I’ve never really…you know…”

“Oh.” Arue blushed and coughed. “I, ah, I have also not…um, exposed myself. I have thought of it, and written of it, but, um, no. I have not done so. But please, I promise to be strictly professional.”

“Right. Professional.” Kazuma hesitated a moment longer, then slowly began to undo his laces as his thoughts raced. What if Arue laughed like Aqua had? What if she said ‘Oh, it’s smaller than I thought?’ What if she was disgusted? He swallowed and closed his eyes, and pulled down his pants. Only his underwear remained.

Shit, were they clean?! He’d changed before they’d left the house, and he had a spare pair in his pack, but after the orcs…he hadn’t wet himself, or worse, had he?! He glanced up at Arue, but she was blushing and holding her pen steady, her expression solemn. He took a deep breath. The yuri. Do it for the yuri. Squeezing his eyes shut again, he pulled his underwear down hastily.

“Ah, I see.” Then the sound of scribbling.

Slowly, Kazuma opened one eye. Arue was sketching in her notebook rapidly, and writing notes. Gingerly, he stood, glancing down at himself. “Uh, it gets bigger. Grower, not a shower.”

“Eh? What do you mean?” Arue looked up, clearly baffled at this.

“Well, uh, when I get excited, it, um, you know. Stands to attention,” Kazuma explained.

“Truly? Could you become excited, that I might observe this phenomenon?” Arue asked, scooting closer.

“Well, I uh, it only does that if I’m, you know, in the mood.”

“Oh, I see, you must find me unattractive then,” Arue said, looking back down with a sigh.

“What?! No! You have a rockin’ bod! It’s, just, uh, cold in here. And, well, I mean, I’m the only one naked.”

“Ah, then I understand the problem.” Arue set aside her notebook and pen, then stood up. “Perhaps this will help.”

Kazuma’s jaw dropped as Arue let her black robe fall from her shoulders, then took off her necktie and tossed it to the side. Then she began to undo the buttons on her top, and Kazuma saw for a fact she was not wearing a bra. He let out a gasp, and it was almost painful how rapidly he rose to the occasion.

On hearing that, Arue paused, only the top two buttons undone. Her eyes went wide, and she gasped. “Oh! It does get bigger!” She lowered herself to her knees, tilting her head to the side as she regarded Kazuma. “Hmm, yes, it has greatly increased. Will it continue to do so?”

“Er, no, think I maxed it out,” Kazuma gasped, feeling nervous again.

“Hmm, I wonder-” Arue reached out, and touched Kazuma, causing him to groan.

It was at that moment the door slammed open, and Kazuma let out a high-pitched scream as he tried to cover himself.

“There you are, Kazutrash! Hiding in- ARUE!? KAZUMA!? WHAT ARE YOU-” Megumin gaped at both of them, as behind her, Darkness gasped and covered her mouth.

For her part, Aqua peered around Megumin. “Huh? Oh, there you are Kazuma. Who’s that? Oh! I see. Come on, girls, he’s busy. Good luck, Kazuma! She’s cute!” Then Aqua hauled Megumin back and closed the door behind him.

For a moment, Kazuma could only stand there, frozen, trying to cover himself, his mind utterly blank. His life was over, finished. He was doomed.

“Ah, I see.” Arue looked up at Kazuma, and put a finger to her chin, considering. “They shall assume we were making love, or about to.”

“Y-yeah,” Kazuma said, wilting spiritually and physically. “S-sorry. I guess your reputation is ruined…I’d say mine was too, but I never had much of one…”

“Yes, I fear you are correct,” Arue sighed, and looked down.

Feeling utterly dejected, Kazuma began to pull up his trousers as Arue stood up. He was about to do up the laces again when he saw Arue’s dress hit the floor. He looked up in astonishment and saw that Arue was now naked, save for her panties and stockings.

“What…what are you doing?!” he squeaked.

Arue shrugged, which did interesting things to her anatomy. “They have already decided in their minds to give us horns, should we not at least earn them? It will do my research good to have some experience to draw upon.”

“I, uh, I…” Kazuma relaxed his grip, and his pants fell back down, his mind once more blank.

Arue nodded. “Good, take off your shirt too. I wish to examine you closely.”

“I, uh…sure?” Kazuma began to do so, and Arue reached to pull down her panties. “Wait!”

She hesitated, blushing and biting her lip. “Ah, yes?”

“C-can I do that? I, um…I’ve always wanted to take off a girl’s panties…”

“Oh! Yes, of course. This is a chance for your research,” Arue said, flushing and standing up. She covered her breasts with her hands, then looked down and saw what she was doing, and deliberately lowered her hands.

Slowly, Kazuma knelt. With trembling hands, he gently lowered Arue’s panties. They were purple and lacy, with a little pink bow on the front. When they were down to her knees, he gazed at her, awestruck for a moment. It was hairier than he’d thought it would be, but…

“What’s with the bar code?” Kazuma asked, pointing to the markings right on Arue’s inner thigh.

“Oh, that?” Arue kicked off her panties, then held her leg up to show the mark. “Crimson Demons all have this sacred mark upon their flesh in an intimate place. I hear outlanders do not? Let me see. Here, let me take off your shirt.”

Numbly, Kauzma held up his arms for Arue to pull his shirt off his head, then he kicked off his boots and pulled off his socks. He stood, and Arue walked around him, her finger tapping her lips.

“Interesting, interesting. So it is true, no mark.”

Kazuma swallowed, and studied Arue’s body. She was slender, though her hips were definitely pronounced, and her breasts simply giant. “Can…can I touch…?” he cut himself off. How could he even ask such a thing?

“Yes, let me finish first though,” Arue said and began to run her hands over Kazuma’s chest, arms, and legs, making him gasp and shudder. “Ah, you are firmer, harder than I thought. Interesting how your face and arms are tanned, but the rest so pale.”

“I, uh, I guess I do have a bit of a farmer’s tan…”

“Ah! So that is what that meant! Yes, it is very striking, I like it! Farmers are strong, virile people. No wonder it is so fashionable to emulate them.” She placed a hand on Kazuma’s chest and stroked it, then ran a finger of his nipples. “Odd, I have long wondered why men have nipples, when they have no breasts and do not give suck as a woman does. You are also smoother than I expected. I had read mostly of hairy men, yet you are not, save here, and here.”

She touched his armpits and groin, which made Kazuma let out an involuntary giggle. “Uh, sorry, ticklish. And, um, I’ll probably get hairier as I get older. I’m only 17, actually…”

“Ah, I see, this makes sense, as it is only older men who grow beards,” Arue said, nodding astutely. Then she spread her arms. “Now, you may explore me as you wish.”

Kazuma glanced at her, met her eyes, and reached out with both hands to grab her boobs. She let out a moan and shuddered, and he jerked his hands back. “Oh! Uh, sorry…”

“No,” she rasped, and grabbed his hands, putting them back. “Do that again. Harder.”

Kazuma felt himself growing increasingly excited as he ran his hands over Arue’s soft skin. She was pale all over and clearly didn’t get outside much. On an impulse, he grabbed her face and pulled him to her, kissing her. She put her hand on his chest and kissed him back. When they broke, they were both gasping, and Kazuma felt like he was on fire. He grabbed Arue, grunting as he picked her up, and she let out a gasp of surprise. “Oh!”

But Kazuma needed her now, and he took Arue over to the chairs and laid her across both of them.She looked up at him, wide-eyed, and as he moved over her and straddled her, she opened her legs. There was some grunting and adjusting until Arue let out a cry.

“Ah! No, not like this!”

“Uh, sorry, I, um, I-” Kazuma hopped off and backed away. He was stupid! So stupid! No girl would ever want him, especially not one so drop-dead gorgeous as Arue! There was no way she-

Arue pulled the cushion off one chair, then the other, and threw them on the floor, then flopped down on them. “There. Now, hurry! I want you, Kazuma! Send me away on clouds of passion!”

Kazuma didn’t need more encouragement. He eagerly knelt on Arue, and there was a great deal of fumbling about.

“Uh, here?”

“Ah, no, I do not believe so. Uh, here, I think?”

“Oh, yeah, I uh- OH!”

“Ah! AH!” Arue bucked and winced, and Kazuma started as she bit her lip and hissed in pain. To his horror, when he looked down, there was a trickle of blood. But when he tried to pull back, Arue locked her legs around him. “No. It is well. This happens to a maiden. My mother told me this much. Now. Make love to me, Kazuma,” Arue demanded in a throaty voice, then kissed him.

It did not, in fact, last long, and was closer to some crude rutting with the cushions flopping all over the place and Arue ending up with her head on one and her toes on the other. But she bucked and cried out at about the same time Kazuma did, and when he pulled out and flopped over, she scooted over so he could rest his head on the pillow next to hers.

Tentatively, Kazuma touched Arue’s hand with his fingers, and she instantly grabbed on and wrapped them around his. They turned towards one another, stupid grins on both their faces. They stayed that way for several moments. Then Arue got up, put her hair back in the bow that had come loose at some point, Kazuma hadn’t even realized it had, and still naked, went over to the desk and began to write with a fury and a passion.

And so, Kazuma sat there on the cold floor, sweaty and naked. One thought went through his head.

Well, shit. Now what?