Legend of Galactic Zeroes, Chapter 21 (Patreon)

Fortified with enough cookies to make even Darkness feel slightly bloated, the traveling circus headed further into the town. Unfortunately for them, they had shown themselves to be easy marks, and were now assaulted on all sides.

“Get your freshly sharpened, genuine Adamantoise Kitchen knives! Handcrafted by dwarven engineers, they can cut through anything, even a frozen watermelon!”

“Ladies, can I interest you in some genuine diamond jewelry? These fine pieces come with a certificate of authenticity, and are guaranteed to become a family heirloom!”

“Real DVDs, only 300 credits each! Get high-quality titles like The Wicker Tree, The Return of Jafar, and Carlito’s Way: Rise to Power!”

“Snowcones! Get your snow cones! Fresh, lemon-flavored snow cones!”

Everyone stopped and looked at the snowcone seller, who blushed. “What? It really is lemon flavor! I have banana, too.”

“Is it still yellow?” Kazuma demanded.

“Well, yes…I just sold out of cherry and blue raspberry.”

“Why is raspberry flavor blue?” Darkness mused.

“It’s actually from harvesting smurfs, they taste just like raspberries,” Kazuma told Darkness.

She looked confused by that, but Chris pushed them all past the clamoring sellers. “We don’t need any of it! We’re on a mission! Now scram, shoo! Buzz off! Megumin, we’re not buying a variety of fashionable eyepatches!”

“But that one glows in the dark!” Megumin protested and Chris hauled her away.

“Doesn’t that completely eliminate the point of an eye patch?” Kazuma asked, prompting a puzzled look from Megumin.

“What?! No! The glow in the dark looks especially cool!”

“...don’t you wear an eyepatch to preserve your night vision?”

“No, I wear them as a cultural expression and because people with eye patches are inherently more mysterious and badass!”

“Chuuni,” Kazuma muttered, though he was smiling when he said it. When Megumin glared at him, he told her, “It’s a pet name.”

That made her brighten immediately. “Ha! I have attained the first pet name, clearly marking me as the frontrunner in this race!”

“Technically, I think we’ve all crossed the finish line. Now will you people buzz off!?” Chris demanded, shoving a man trying to sell her a life insurance policy. “I’m immortal! I don’t NEED a life insurance policy!”

“But what about your companions? Just imagine when they kick the bucket a century from now! You can collect a cool 100,000,000 credits each!”

Chris paused for a moment, obviously considering it, until Darkness picked her up under one arm. “We’re covered under my family's insurance policy. You don’t need it.”

“You took out a life insurance policy on me?!” Chris asked, sounding offended. “Don’t you have any faith in my skills!?”

“And here I thought you were the only one to actually read the contracts I gave you when I recruited you as insurance adjusters,” Darkness said with a heavy sigh, plowing her way through the sales pitchers.

Kazuma glanced at Megumin, then at the life insurance salesman.

“If you buy one, I’m kicking you out of the harem,” Megumin informed him. Kazuma wasn’t certain that she actually had that ability, but he wasn’t risking it. So he passed for now and made a mental note to take out a life insurance policy on himself for the next time he died.

Darkness led them to a quaint little shop, the only one in fact that didn’t have a neon sign on the entire drag. Instead, it had a charming little hand-painted sign, and was built out of sturdier wood and brick compared to the quick plastic and prefab the rest of the town was made of. There were little gingerbread ornaments in the window, along with a Chris-mas Tree and snowman. There was even a little nativity, though for some reason, Christ had silver hair.

Once Kazuma was inside, Darkness slammed the door, and then set Chris down. “I’m not your luggage, you know,” Chris said, dusting herself off. She glanced around the shop, frowning slightly. “I was expecting an adult store of some sort, this looks like a tourist kitsch place.

“It was the only place that looked like it might not be full of those vultures,” Darkness said, peering out through the frosted glass window at the mob that seemed to be waiting for them to leave.

“This doesn’t look like a weapons shop,” Megumin complained, going over to examine some of the goods. She picked up a box that said ‘Bathe and Brew Coffee Maker’ which showed a woman in the shower enjoying a cup of coffee, with the coffee maker underneath the shower head.

“Something about this place doesn’t feel right,” Chris declared, her eyes narrowing as she looked over the shop. Kazuma wasn’t sure what the problem was. He heard the dulcet tones of Bing Crosby singing Mele Kalikimaka over the shop’s speakers, and there were Christmas lights and decorations up. There were signs indicating “Holiday Sales!” that all seemed to be hand drawn, with cute figures and pictures. The goods, however…

“A…bicycle seatbelt?” Darkness said, going over to examine another product. “That seems of questionable efficacy.”

Kazuma looked at another table, and picked up a pair of socks, only they had pockets sewn on, complete with little zippers, as well as several pouches. “Cargo socks? Geeze, who shops here? Dads with bad taste?”

Just then, the door to the back of the shop opened, and a woman bustled out. She had long brown hair and warm brown eyes, and most notably, boobs even bigger than Darkness. “Oh? Customers? Welcome! I’m so happy to-”

“DIE!” Chris shrieked, and flew across the shop, a knife appearing in her hand as she went right for the shopkeeper’s throat.

“EEEEEEE!” the poor woman ducked at the last moment, causing Chris to go flying through the open door and slam into a pile of boxes in the back, which tumbled over in a loud crash.

“Chris?!” the other three cried in shock.

“Foul villain! Have at thee!” Megumin declared and lunged for the shopkeeper herself, who let out another scream and started to run around the shop, Megumin hot on her heels.

Darkness went to check on Chris in a panic, while Kazuma stuck out a leg and tripped Megumin, grabbing her by the collar to prevent her from faceplanting. “Right. Someone, please explain to me why we’ve decided that murder is the best solution here.”

“MURDER IS ALWAYS A SOLUTION!” Megumin snarled, struggling against Kazuma’s grip so hard she woke up Chomusuke, who started to yowl.

“I-I’m sorry, w-who are you people?” the shopkeeper whimpered, hiding behind a giant cardboard cutout of Santa Claus.

“I’m Kazuma, the gremlin is Megumin, and Darkness is currently digging Chris out of the pile. Sorry about the mess. Also, who are you again?”

“My name is Wiz. I’m just a shopkeeper! N-no one usually comes into my store…b-but some people have complained about my products…you’re not from the bank, are you? I-I still have enough money in my account to pay for my next shipment, I promise!” the woman said, tears filling her eyes.

At that, Chomusuke stopped yowling, and hopped out of Megumin’s jacket. The little cat walked over to Wiz, who instantly smiled and knelt by it. “Oh! What an adorable kitten! Do you mind if I pet it? I do so love cute little creatures!”

“I will consent to a belly rub,” Chomusuke said, “but only if you explain what you’re doing here, Ice Witch.”

“Chomusuke, we don’t even know her. No calling her a bitch,” Kazuma told the cat. He glared at Megumin. “If I set you down, will you promise not to attempt to murder the nice lady until AFTER we find out what her story is?”

“Do…do I know you?” Wiz asked, hesitating with her hand hovering over the cat.

“Don’t you recognize me? We were generals together for years. I’m hurt you’d forget me,” Chomusuke said, sitting down and glaring up at Wiz.

“KAZUMA, MEGUMIN, GET AWAY FROM HER!” Chris snarled, stalking through the back door, her knife held out before her. “That’s Wiz the Ice Witch!”

The woman started to sniffle and inch back from Chris, picking up Chomusuke and trying to shield the cat behind herself. “What did you do to my poor friend Wolbach!? Why is she a cat!?”

“I killed her,” Megumin said smugly. “And bound her spirit as my familiar.”

“H-how could you!? Wolbach was a lovely woman! She was my friend!” Wiz cried, standing up and glaring at Megumin. “She was such a nice woman!”

“A nice woman who sieged my city and killed my citizens!” Darkness declared, shoving her way past Chris and coming to tower over Wiz.

Wiz wilted, and pulled Chomusuke out from behind her back. “Did you?”

“If you want to make an omelet, you’ve got to commit a few war crimes,” Chomusuke said in a philosophical tone.

To Kazuma’s shock, Wiz snarled in anger, then shifted her grip to hold Chomusuke by the scruff of her neck, and dashed over to a cabinet, where she pulled out a spray bottle, which she proceeded to spritz Chomusuke with. “Bad kitty! Bad! You know how I feel about harming innocent bystanders, Wolbach! How could you?!”

Chomusuke yowled in protest, while the other girls looked on in shock.

“I mean…didn’t she blow up a moon or something?” Kazuma asked, coming over to pull Chomusuke out of Wiz’s hands. “Come on, she’s already been turned into a cat. That’s punishment enough.”

“Ack, pfff, put me down! Ugh, this is why nothing ever gets done!” Chomusuke spluttered. Then let out a yowl when Kazuma dropped her. “Ingrate! If you were not the pet of my new mistress-”

“Enough. Leave my cat alone. I need her to help with weapons designs! Ack! Pff! STOP SPRAYING ME!” Megumin spluttered, putting up her hands as Wiz squirted her.

“You’re not going to go around killing civilians, are you? I won’t allow it!” Wiz declared, giving Megumin another dose for good measure.

“Hey, what’s in that?” Kazuma asked, frowning at the bottle. “That’s not like, acid or something?’

“Oh, I mean, it might be a weak acid? It’s water, with a bit of lemon oil!” Wiz said, holding the bottle up. “I like the scent.”

“Just stand aside, Darkness. I’ll gut the lich like she deserves,” Chris growled, trying to get around Darkness.

“Hold on Chris. She doesn’t seem evil,” Darkness said, frowning. “Are you?”

“Oh, well, um,” Wiz shrank down again, clutching her now mostly empty spray bottle. “I…I guess…a little…”

“She’s an abomination! A soulless undead monstrosity!” Chris raged. “She’s the ICE WITCH! The greatest traitor in all of GF history!”

“Did you used to be a goddess?” Kazuma asked curiously.

“No…I was human, once,” Wiz said, tearing up again. “I-I was recruited by Eris to fight the Devil King, b-but-”

“BUT YOU TURNED TRAITOR!” Chris shouted, stepping forward and pointing her knife at Wiz. “We lost that entire sector!”

“No! No! They’re still alive! They’re doing just fine, I promise!” Wiz said, tears filling her eyes. “I pray every day that Eris will forgive me…but…but I had to…otherwise…” she broke down in tears.

Chris’ eyes narrowed, and she lowered the knife. “What do you mean, they’re still alive? Are they abominations, like you?”

“No…they’re still human,” Wiz sniffled, looking up with puffy red cheeks. “I…I managed to save them, b-but…I had to make a deal…with Vanir…”

“Even WORSE! An alien despot is one thing! But a literal demon?! And you just LET him suck out your soul!” Chris declared, taking another step closer.

“I didn’t have a choice! My mecha was destroyed, my friends were dying, and, and…and it was the only way!” Wiz wailed, sinking to her knees. “I…I did doom other systems, b-but…that one…that one is safe…happy…as long as I’m alive…”

“But you’re not alive, are you.” Chris glowed, her form shifting, and Wiz let out a gasp as Eris appeared. “You’re nothing but metal and dead flesh now. A cyborg, animated by foul technology, a soulless mockery of the woman I once called a friend.”

“E-Eris? Is…is it?” Wiz held out a trembling hand, then snatched it back. She kowtowed, pressing her forehead to the spotless floor, though it did now have a small puddle from her weeping. “I’m sorry! I-I was weak! I just…I couldn’t let…but they still died! I failed!”

Eris stood over Wiz, glaring, while Megumin turned to Darkness. “Did you know she could do that?”

“She did at the party, but I thought it was just an illusion,” Darkness admitted. “It’s still Chris, but…she’s different…”

Glaring down at Wiz, Eris slapped her knife blade into the palm of her left hand. “You did fail. You saved one measly system, and sacrificed how many more by preserving the life of the Space Devil King? You made a compact with Vanir, one of the greatest evils in the universe. And you have the gall to beg for mercy?”

“I don’t ask for mercy…only…can…can you help my new friends?” Wiz asked, looking up, tears still streaming down her face. “I…I’m trying to get Hans to back off, and to help the ones who come to me for aid, but…but I’m not a healer…Please…help them…I can only put so many to rest…”

“What friends?” Eris demanded.

“T-there…in the basement,” Wiz whimpered, pointing towards the back.

“Hold up,” Kazuma said, putting a hand on Chris’ shoulder. “I get you’re pissed, and yeah, if she’s a traitor, that sucks, but she really doesn’t seem evil, or like a threat.”

“You don’t understand, Kazuma!” Eris said, whirling on him and glaring at him, her purple eyes smoldering with rage. “She was one of my recruits! A friend! She took the GF’s technology and gave it to our enemies! So many have died because she was too weak!”

“Let’s at least hear her out and see these friends of hers,” Kazuma said, and bent, helping Wiz up. “Come on. Show us what’s going on.”

“A-alright,” Wiz agreed, and slowly headed for the back, her shoulders slumped, her dress dragging through the puddles she’d made. The others followed her down, Megumin carrying the still wet and grouchy Chomusuke.

Down in the basement, Wiz led them to a large metal door, putting in a code into the keypad. She hesitated before pressing the enter key, glancing at Eris. “You…you have to promise not to just kill them. They’re in pain…they need help…I’ve done what I can, but…”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Eris growled. “Open the door.”

With a wince, Wiz depressed the final button. Instead of a dark, dank dungeon, Kazuma found himself going into a warm and brightly lit room, decorated in bright pastels.

“Momma! You’re back so soon!” a little girl cried, turning around from playing with a young boy. When she turned, Kazuma saw that half her face was flesh, and the other silver metal, with a glowing red eye. The girl didn’t look to be more than four or five, and stood on unsteady legs. One was longer than the other, and she tottered over. The little boy, no more than a toddler, got up as well, though Kazuma could see that both his arms were metal, and the back half of his head too.

“Momma’s back! Momma’s back!” more voices cried, and in all, a dozen children from a boy only a year or two younger than Megumin with a metal jaw and hand, to an infant’s head in a jar.

Kazuma felt sick looking at the children, who crowded around Wiz, all smiling and happy to see her.

“Children, this is…these are my friends! Eris is a very old friend of mine, and these are her companions, Kazuma, Megumin, and Darkness. The cat is a friend of mine too, but please be gentle. No pulling the tail, nice hands.”

Megumin looked shocked as the children looked curiously at the cat. One boy who seemed to be about three came over. Nothing seemed wrong, until he opened his mouth, and an electronic voice came out. “I like cat. Can I pet cat? Please please please.”

“Uh, sure. Be careful, she bites,” Megumin said, extending Chomusuke.

“I do not,” Chomusuke muttered, but the boy was gentle as he stroked her, and Chomusuke was soon purring with a crowd of happy children around her.

“What did you do to them?” Eris demanded, but she sounded more exhausted than angry.

“They…they were already like this. I rescued them from various labs performing illegal cybernetics experiments. They’re…well, they’re stuck like this. I found a way to slow their aging, because…” tears filled Wiz’s eyes, and her tone dropped to a whisper, “If I don’t, they die sooner. No hospitals will help them…I spend all the money I make from my shop to help them. Most of them don’t eat much food, but…their energy and metal requirements…I do what maintenance I can…Please…can you help them?”

Wiz took Eris’ hands in her own. “Even…even if you have to kill me…please help my children…This moon…it’s one of the only places I can hide them. Most people when they see them…they want to…to kill them. They say it’s just to end their suffering, but…they still want to live! They still have life!”

“I…I can’t help them,” Eris said. She slowly shrank, until it was just Chris standing there. “I’ll call Aqua. She can help.”

“Oh! Thank you, thank you,” Wiz cried, grabbing Chris and hugging her tightly. Then she gasped and hastily let Chris go, stepping back. “S-sorry.”

“It’s OK.” Chris turned to the kids and pulled out two green boxes. “Hey kids, ever had a Thin Mint before?”

“Wow,” Kazuma said, watching as Chris doled out every single last cookie to the kids, not even taking one for herself. “Big softy, aren’t you?”

“I haven’t forgiven her,” Chris muttered. “But…well…what kind of person kills a woman who’s looking after a bunch of orphans? Even a bunch of cyborg ones.”

“Yeah, about that.” Kazuma turned to Darkness. “OK, spill. Are people racist against cyborgs or something?”

“Well, cybernetics can be used properly, but, well…it’s largely taboo. Simple prosthetics are fine, but ones like this…they open you up to cyber corruption. Many cyborgs, especially those with neural implants or augmentations, go insane, and become dangerously violent,” Darkness explained. “Usually, if ones like this are found, the prosthetics would be removed, but, um…that might be lethal in some cases here…”

“All of them,” Wiz said quietly. “They’ve all had parts of their central nervous system replaced. “A few are totally robotic, with a human mind uploaded. If they become dangerous, I do have to…to…p-put them to sleep…but that usually only happens if I’m gone for too long…I…I have control systems that keep cyborgs calm. Adults usually fall to corruption anyway, but children are resistant…”

Kazuma was quiet as he watched the little girl with half the robot face happily chew on a cookie. He turned to Chris and Darkness. “Yeah, fuck that. The kids live. And if that means Wiz lives, then so be it.”

“What even happened today,” Chris groaned, putting her head in her hands. “We were supposed to buy weapons and sex toys. Not…this…”

“Don’t talk about that in front of the children!” Wiz hissed. “I have to keep them inside or the townsfolk will corrupt them, even if they hide their cybernetics!”

“Yeah, that tracks,” Kazuma sighed. “These people are all crazy and they would definitely-”

“Hey Wiz! Door was open so I came right on in! You would not believe the parts I scavenged from the off-worlders that crashed! I almost got them to sign away some organs for you to use, but they-” Cecily walked into the room and froze. “Oh, uh. Hi. Um, you guys still want those coupons?”

“AUNTY CECILY!” the children cheered, and several rushed over to hug her.

“Oof! Hey there, munchkins! I got you all some spare parts!” Cecily said happily, holding up a bag bulging with what looked like rather important electronics.

“Hey! Those are from our ship!” Kazuma protested. “You stole them!”

Cecily put a hand over her heart. “Would you deprive these poor children the vital components they need to stave off the cybersickness for just one more week?”

“Uh, no. Sorry. I just-”

“Great! Thanks for the donation! Now come on kids, help Aunty sort these by the most valuable! Someone’s gotta help your idiot mother keep this shop afloat, and keep Aunty in her subscription to the Succubus VR Cafe!”

“Yay!” the children cheered, and went over to help Cecily sort her ill-gotten gains.

The nominal adults turned skeptical gazes to Wiz, who blushed. “Uh, I, ah, I told the children that a succubus is, er…a sort of fairy…she really is the only one who hasn’t tried to kill them when she found out…she’s not that bad…”

“A thief and a monster. Great. Well, I called Aqua, so don’t let her see that your friend stripped the ship before she gets here,” Chris sighed.

“This is heartwarming and so on, but need I remind you all that the giant death slime is still coming?” Megumin demanded. “We must find upgrades for the Wave Motion Explosion cannon, or this moon is doomed. I don’t think those cybernetics will keep the children from being dissolved by poisonous acid.”

“Oh, you have one of those too?” Wiz asked curiously.

Megumin’s head snapped around. “Come again?”

“Oh, well, you know, back in the day, I helped Wolbach field test the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon, after I, um, er…joined the enemy…we, um, we were both traitors…” Wiz admitted.

“She was the first of my apprentices,” Chomusuke said proudly. “Though unlike some people, she actually understood the importance of a balanced loadout.”

Megumin dashed up to Wiz, grabbing her by her apron. “Are you saying…you have an ancient and secret PROTOTYPE!?”

“Well, yes, but it’s very old now, I’m sure the later models-”

“FOOL! Everyone knows that production models are weak and inferior! The older and hidden prototype versions of weapons are ALWAYS the most powerful!” Megumin declared. “Take us to this wondrous and magnificent weapon at ONCE!”

Darkness looked skeptical. “I really don’t think an out of date weapons system is really what we should be looking for.”

“Nah, Megumin’s totally right,” Kazuma said with a shake of his head. “Secret or ancient prototypes are always way better.”

“I knew there was a reason I fell in love with you,” Megumin sighed, looking at Kazuma with dreamy eyes. “You truly do appreciate a finely made weapon.”

“I…I suppose,” Wiz agreed. “Children, make sure that Cecily behaves while I’m gone.”

“Kay!” the kids all chorused.

“Don’t you have that backwards?” Kazuma asked as Wiz led them out of the hidden room.

“No. Definitely not,” Wiz said firmly.

This time, it was up the stairs and back out into the street, where the predators were lurking. One look at Wiz, however, and the crowd let out a groan.

“Not the penniless loser!” someone called.

“And you made fun of me for selling yellow snow! Have you seen what she sells!?”

“The yellow snow is still gross,” Kazuma told him. “Now buzz off, or I’ll make you all buy cargo socks. I hear they’re in fashion this season.”

There were mutters of irritation, but the crowd departed, leaving the street mostly empty, save for several little girls.

“Hello, Miss Chris!” the leader said, holding up a box. “We with the GSCM were wondering if you were in need of-”

“Shut up and take my money,” Chris told them, handing them all of Kazuma’s credits and grabbing the thin mints. She stuffed a cookie into her mouth and sighed. “I needed that hit. Now show us where this hidden weapon is.”

“It’s a bit of a trip,” Wiz said nervously. “What about your friend, Aqua?”

“Right. Fine. I’ll stay,” Chris sighed. “Being around you gives me an ulcer. And I’ll have to explain to Aqua why you’re not Kill On Sight anymore. You guys go find the rusty old weapon.”

Wiz took Kazuma, Darkness, and Megumin around the side of the shop to where a vehicle that resembled an oversized snowmobile waited. They loaded in, and Wiz took off, heading out of town in the opposite direction of where the Axis Queen had fallen.

“Is it hidden in a secret bunker complex!? A forgotten weapons lab?!” Megumin asked excitedly as they sped across the snow and ice. There were pine trees and some other hardy cold weather plants, and Kazuma saw a few white birds and what looked like a rabbit with a pair of antlers, so something lived on this iceball besides the crazies.

“Um, actually, I just stashed it in a cave,” Wiz admitted. “And then sealed it in ice.”

“Sealed away in ice for a thousand years is cool too!”

“That can’t be good for the machine,” Darkness said uncertainly.

“Bah! Everyone knows that if you put something in cryostasis, you merely need to warm up it up for it to be ready, and I have my pocket flamethrower!”

It was about a 20 minute trip, during which Wiz was mostly silent, and Megumin extolled the virtue of the Wave Motion Explosion cannon and Darkness looked worried.

At last, they came to a cliff, down which a frozen waterfall of ice flowed. Wiz parked the snowmobile, and led them to the ice.

“I got it!” Megumin said, pulling out her flamethrower and sending out a jet of flame.

“N-no! I can melt it, don’t worry!” Wiz said hastily. She pressed her hand to the ice, closing her eyes. A pulse of energy came out of her palm, and the ice rippled, then flashed instantly to mist, leaving a hole big enough to walk a mecha through that showed a dark cave beyond.

Quietly, Wiz walked forward. Megumin raced ahead, letting out a gasp of delight. “It looks magnificent! Brilliant! Truly a marvel of engineering!”

“I can’t see a thing,” Kazuma complained.

“I…I’ll make a little light,” Wiz said, and held up a hand. A glowing sphere of soft blue light formed and then lifted up. Soon, the cavern was bathed in a soft blue glow, and Kazuma’s jaw dropped as he looked up.

“Holy shit,” he whispered as he stared up.

The mecha was mostly white, with long legs, a chunky torso that looked vaguely feminine and was painted blue, and a white head with green eyes and two antennae. It carried a truly massive cannon in its right hand, and a shield in the other.

“That’s my old mecha that I rebuilt,” Wiz said quietly. “It’s-”

“You’re the WITCH FROM MERCURY!?” Kazuma gasped, turning around, his eyes glowing. “That’s XVX-016 Gundam Aerial! You have a real live Gundam High Grade!? Do you know badly I’ve wanted a real Gundam for my entire life!? Hell, I basically sold my soul for a model of this exact mecha!”

“Um, they called me the Ice Witch, but Chris gave me the mecha centuries ago,” Wiz said, wincing. “I did call her Aerial…”

“And this is the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon, Model 0000 Alpha! A real secret prototype!” Megumin and Kazuma ran together and embraced. “Do you know what this means?!”

“I get to fuse with a real Gundam,” Kazuma said, his face glistening. “This is the second greatest day of my life!”

“And the greatest will be when we fire the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon together!” Megumin cheered.

“Uh, actually…only I can pilot it,” Wiz said, waving nervously. “You, um, have to be a cyborg…”

“Rip my brain out. Right now. You cannot deny me this,” Megumin demanded.

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Darkness cautioned as Kazuma got out a knife to perform the surgery. “Wiz…could this really stop Hans?”

Wiz looked up at the mecha, her expression sorrowful for a moment. Then her hands clenched into fists. “If it will save my children…yes. We’ll do whatever needs to happen.”

“If I fuse with her, it’s not cheating, right?” Kazuma asked Megumin.

“If it gets me the Wave Motion Explosion Cannon, I’ll do to her what Chris did to me last week every night for the rest of my life!” Megumin promised.

“Eh?” Wiz said, backing away slowly.

“Too late,” Darkness told her. “It’s sort of always like this.”