Legend of Galactic Zeroes, Chapter 13 (the horny one) (Patreon)

Author’s Note:

This chapter is rated D for Darkness. As in, it’s filthy, ya animal.

Soft snores filled the air, and Kazuma lay on the couch, arms behind his head, staring up. Despite the finery around him, someone had glued tacky little glowing stars on the ceiling, and he could see bits of tape where cheap posters had been put up, though they were now gone. He wondered what sort of dreams Darkness had displayed as a little girl.

Definitely not when she was older though. He had a pretty good idea, and even he wasn’t that perverse. Well, not yet anyway.

To his embarrassment, all Kazuma had really seen was some bare asses. Well, more than that. There had been some splashing and giggling but…then everyone had grown embarrassed and shy. Or, well…Kazuma had. Bathing with three beauties had really been too much for him. Sure, he’d been in lewd situations before, and with the same girls, but those had largely been accidental. To have it be on purpose, to think maybe there was something more…

“What comes after the H Scene? The route usually just ends after that,” Kazuma muttered. Not that he’d really had a proper H Scene yet. All he’d really gotten was a strip tease and a case of blue balls.

Currently, all the girls were sleeping in a pile on Darkness’ bed. Kazuma could have joined in, but…well, he was a bit nervous about that. And there was something else he had to take care of.

“I guess it’s just you and me tonight, old friend,” he said, raising his right hand above his face.  He sighed, and lowered it towards its destination. At least he’d gotten some good fuel this evening.

“Wow, Kazuma, that’s kinda sad. I mean, three cute girls in the same room as you, and you’re doing that?”

Kazuma just about jumped up out of his skin, and turned to see white teeth flashing in the darkness by his head, along with the faint gleam of violet eyes. “Chris!? What are you-”

“Shhhh. The other two are still sleeping.Scoot over, I thought we’d talk.”

“Why should I-” Kazuma began to demand, but then Chris shimmied onto the couch, snuggling under the blanket Kazuma was laying under. “Uh, oh.”

Kazuma tried to focus in the dim light, but he couldn’t see much. Chris had pressed herself up next to Kazuma, and even on the rather luxurious furniture in Darkness’ room there wasn’t much room for two to lie down on the couch. He did detect a faint blush from Chris though…

“So, um, come here often?” Chris ventured in a low whisper. Her voice was slightly husky, and with her face only centimeters away from Kazuma’s, it was quite distracting.

“A woman’s bedroom? I wish,” Kazuma snorted. “I, um, I mean…”

“Oh don’t worry, I know just what you mean. I was sort of hoping you’d at least try to make the first move earlier, but, well, you somehow seem to have even less experience then the rest of us. It’s endearing, in a dorky sort of way.”

“Uh, thanks. You’re um…really cute. Girl next door sort of vibes,” Kazuma said, his mind sort of going blank. Sure, he’d talked to Chris plenty of times, even been in some lewd situations before, but this felt different.

That made Chris start to giggle, then snort and try to stifle her laughter. Kazuma felt embarrassed, and glared at her. “What?! Do you think I’m making fun of you or something?!”

“No, it’s just…Kazuma, you do get that I’m Eris, right?” Chris managed, snuggling up to Kazuma and hugging him.

He really wasn’t sure how to respond to that, but managed a shaking nod.

“Hmmm, I don’t think you do,” Chris said, poking Kazuma in the nose. “You know I’m like Aqua, right?”

“What?! No! You’re way smarter than Aqua, and sexier! She might have a nice body, but honestly she’s just so dumb, and she has no common sense! Plus, well, she feels like a sister! I liked seeing you naked, and, um…er…”

“I can feel you poking me and I know it’s not a roll of coins in your pocket.”

“Uh, yes, that. My point is, you’re way better than Aqua. Definite waifu material. Her? No way.”

Chris shifted for a moment, and Kazuma realized she was embarrassed as she put her head in his chest. “That’s not fair, you know? I don’t even wear the pads here. Everyone always says she’s prettier and hotter than I am.”

“Hey, I told you, flat is justice. And, well, you’re not as crazy as Megumin is, even if, ah…”

“Even if you’re a closet chuuni who actually rather enjoys her antics? Don’t worry, I do too. I can appreciate that she’s cute as a button and probably will be a wildcat in the sack. I told you, I used to think I was gay.”

“Uhhhhh…” Various thoughts flashed through Kazuma’s mind, and Chris laughed again as she felt him shift.

“Mostly that was probably because at the GF we’re a real clam bake, and, well, the only men that come in are usually super serious military hero types that just don’t do it for me. That, and accountants. You would not believe how many bean counters we need to have to keep a multi-galactic organization running. Ugh, I know I used to be the goddess of fortune with commerce in my domains, but seriously I was more about the fun part of earning money, not bankers!”

“But, um, you…”

“I’m still interested in getting into Darkness and Megumin’s skirts, but I figured I’d start with you tonight. Gotta start cementing my harem somehow.”

“What!?” Kazuma felt vaguely offended, turned on, and overall rather confused. “But it’s my harem, I’m the hero!”

“Sure you are, Kazuma,” Chris said, and kissed him on the cheek. “You just keep telling yourself that.”

Kazuma tried to stew at that, but it was very hard to be mad at a cute girl snuggled up to him and discussing how to unlock the Golden Ending. This wasn’t usually how the Visual Novels went!

“Anyway, back to what I am. Because I think you in particular need to know this. Darkness and Megumin have the cultural background to have a vague idea of who the Precursor Goddesses are, and while the Japanese sort of get it your religion’s a bit off.”

“Wait, so, you’re like, an actual goddess? I mean, I do think you’re pretty hot, but, um…”

A soft silver light began to emanate from Chris, and Kazuma gasped, his eyes going wide. Her hair slowly got longer, until it came all the way down to the small of her back, while the scar on her cheek slowly melted away. She looked slightly older, more mature and wise. Even her rack got bigger, which was a real shock.

“Don’t get too excited, they’re basically fake like this,” Chris told him. “This is, well, what I look like as the goddess Eris. Or, well, what the Goddess Eris looked like. I’m not going to get into the really weird theological ramifications, but-”

“You’re a member of an ancient precursor race that made the universe and created the advanced technology behind the mecha, those nanomachines Aqua’s always on about, and are somehow responsible for the Space Devil King!?” Kazuma gasped, sitting up and looking down at Eris in surprise.

Eris sat up, her hair falling over her naked body. She frowned at him, cocking her head to one side for a moment. Then she giggled, hastily putting a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound. “You didn’t know that, you’ve just watched a lot of anime and played too many video games.”

“Wait, so it’s true?!” Kazuma demanded.

Eris sighed and nodded. “Yeah, basically. Though honestly if what we do at the GF is technology then it’s all Clarke Tech.”

“Uh, Clarke Tech?”

“I guess you’re not as much of a Westaboo as I thought. Arthur C Clarke, British SciFi author. He said that any sufficiently advanced science is indistinguishable from magic, and he’s basically right. If you can hack the code of the universe because you made it, it’s hard to tell if what you’re doing is science or magic. We’re technically not supposed to do it any more, buuuuuuttttt….that would be kinda boring.”

Kazuma wracked his brain for a moment, then slapped his forehead. “I’m sorry Dave, I can’t do that!”

“Yes, exactly! Though really, we didn’t use obelisks to uplift monkeys.”

“Was it cute girls?”

“No points for guessing after meeting me,” Eris said, sticking her tongue out playfully at Kazuma. “But yeah, basically.”

“...is that why Darkness and Megumin look human despite not being from Earth?” Kazuma asked, voicing something he’d been wondering about for a long time.

“Ehhhhh….” Eris wiggled her hand from side to side. “A little of that, some convergent evolution, and Earth being an excellent source of people to send off to fight in wars across the stars. That, and honestly we just decided it would be no fun if the various sentient species couldn’t interbreed.”

“Captain Kirk would be proud,” Kazuma said with a nod. He examined Eris, rubbing his chin for a moment, then reached out and slid aside her hair to get a better look at her boobs, making Eris gasp in shock.

“K-Kazuma!”

“Nope. You look cuter as Chris,” Kazuma said, giving her chest an experimental squeeze. “Those are also definitely fake. Trust me, I can tell. They’re just too perfect. Chris is more real, and I think it’s her I’m falling in love with.”

Eris looked at him shocked for a moment, then tears filled her eyes. She closed her eyes, putting her hands over Kazuma’s. Then she shrank slightly, and stopped glowing, going back to the form Kazuma knew her best in.

“That means a lot to me. This is…more who I really am,” Chris said quietly in the darkness. After the previous light, Kazuma was basically blind. But he did feel Chris wrap him in an embrace, and kiss Kazuma rather more passionately on the lips. He fell back onto the couch, and for a few moments, he just enjoyed his little piece of heaven.

Then, when Chris reached for his pants, Kazuma got nervous. “Um, Chris, I…”

“Yeah?” Chris asked, pausing in what she was doing.

“I just…I don’t know if this is the right time,” Kazuma admitted. “I do like you, maybe even love you, and, uh, I do want to, um…”

“So? Why are you stopping me? I’m losing my momentum here, Kazuma, and I’m just as nervous as you, if not more. I’m the forty thousand year old virgin. Well, not that old, but you get the idea.”

“I, I just…what about Darkness and Megumin?”

Sighing, Chris sat up, stopping her efforts. “Ok, that’s actually a good reason. We DO have to keep fusing. And not just the two of us. I personally am learning to like it, but, well…we do have to work out what the timeshare on that, and your Holy Sword, as  Megumin put it, is. And, well, I think I need to find the closet key for those two girls. Gotta manage things properly.”

“Um, yeah. I, er, I am disappointed…” Kazuma could definitely feel that his body, at least, was ready to go all the way, but he was both too nervous at the moment, and well…there were the other girls to think about.

“Hmm. Tell you what. You’ve been a good boy, and I’ve been a good girl. So we’ll try something else,” Chris said, standing up and pulling Kazuma to his feet.

“And what’s that?” Kazuma asked, half nervous, half excited.

“Why, we’ll take a bath together. And maybe make a bit of a mess. Just the two of us. But yeah, not all the way. Not tonight.” Chris kissed Kazuma again, then led him off to the oversized bathroom. 

Once they were in the bathroom, Chris lit a couple of candles, which she seemed to manage just by snapping her fingers over the wicks.

“I thought you said you couldn’t hack reality or whatever anymore?” Kazuma demanded, glancing at the bathtub. Then he eyed the shower, and walked over, blushing as he pulled his pants off.

“Oh ho, got a mind of your own, do you? That place does look big enough for three people. Or, well, maybe just one Darkness sized person,” Chris said, stripping out of her PJs. She grinned and Kazuma, wiggling slightly as she turned around for him. “Undo me, will ya?”

“Uh, sure.” Kazuma wasn’t so certain what the big deal about not being able to get a bra unhooked was. It was just a bit of wire and plastic, and, WHY WOULDN’T THIS DARN THING COME OFF ALREADY!?

Chris was shaking with laughter by the time Kazuma finished. She turned around, putting her hands over her chest, blushing and grinning at the same time. “Wow, you finally figure it out?”

“It was being stubborn,” Kazuma said sulkily. Then he quickly dropped down and pulled off Chris’s panties, managing to catch her when she let out a cry and fell.

“Shh, you’re supposed to be quiet,” Kazuma said, then kissed her again. He was getting pretty good at that if he said so himself.

“Well I wasn’t expecting you to pull THAT,” Chris said with a snort, then took off Kazuma’s boxer shorts. She sniffed them, then made a face. “Yeah, this just smells like ass and ball sweat. I don’t get it.”

“Huh?” Kazuma said, lowering Chris’ panties from his own nose.

“Pervert,” Chris said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, this was your idea!” Kazuma said, blushing and trying to glare at her.

“Mmm. So it was. Now, uh, this is my first time, so…”

“I thought you said we weren’t going all the way!?” Kazuma squeaked. Not that he was all that morally opposed just at the moment, but…

“You’re the one with the naked girl in your hands. But no, I, ah, well, I’m a bit inexperienced myself. What I meant was, if what I’m doing doesn’t feel good, say something,” Chris told him. Then she put her hands on Kazuma’s Holy sword.

Just about everything slipped out of Kazuma’s mind, to the point where dropped Chris, though thankfully they were both already on the floor.

“Hmmm, not a good angle. Here, let’s stand up,” Chris urged, and prodded Kazuma to his feet.

“I, uh,” Kazuma licked his lips as Chris pinned him up against the wall. “Shouldn’t I be the one, you know…”

“Hmm, if it were your harem, yes. But, I’m laying claim to that,” Chris teased.

Kazuma growled and pushed her against the wall, kissing her and reaching his hands down to Chris’ groin. She gasped, and Kazuma grinned. Now he was the one-

“Kazuma, that’s where I pee!”

He hastily removed his hands, feeling more than a little grossed out.

“I mean, that’s where I pee too,” Kazuma said uncertainly.

“Ha! If anyone needed proof we’re both virgins! Yes, Kazuma, I know that. I even have to pee in this form.”

“Wait. Do you mean Aqua-”

“Kazuma, is this REALLY the time to be bringing up another woman?”

“Well, I mean, I just-”

“Sigh. No, goddesses don’t need to pee. But for your information, girls have more holes. And that one isn’t the sexy one. Didn’t you ever take anatomy?”

“Er, yeah, I guess…but you know, in the doujins and stuff, it’s all blurred out…”

“Yeah, if that’s your point of reference, we have a LOT of learning to do. But I guess this is the fun kind. Now, this is where I want you to touch me.” Chris guided Kazuma’s hands lower than he thought they would need to go, and he instantly recognized the difference.

“Oh. Oh! Er, do I…”

“Mmm, yes, that. Now, we’re sticking to hands today,” Chris said, grasping Kazuma again, then kissing him. “Ah~! And I’ll tell you when to stop…”

Kazuma was somewhat embarrassed when only a minute or two later he made a mess over Chris, and was a bit shocked when she made a mess over his hands around the same time. They sagged against one another, panting and grinning like idiots.

“Well, feel a little bolder now?” Chris gasped.

“I…yes ma’am.”

“Good. Now I expect you to do this with Darkness and Megumin too. Just, be honest with them that you’re doing it with all your rides, OK?” Chris said, blushing slightly. “And no one else! Especially not that Sena bitch.”

“Listen, I never thought I’d have three girlfriends, let alone one. I’m not even sure how I’ll handle my harem yet.”

“We’ll figure it out. We’re all young and horny. Even if I’ve got a few millennia on all of you.” Chris walked to the shower and turned it on, then took a bottle of some sweet smelling soap from the wide rack. “Well, now let’s get clean. Don’t want to make a mess on the bed clothes.”

They ended up having to clean up twice, but that was alright. Kazuma slept rather deeply after that, curled up next to Chris on the couch. It turned out, it was just big enough for her to be the little spoon.

The next morning, Kazuma and Chris woke up to Megumin and Darkness standing over them. Megumin’s eyes were glowing dangerously, while Darkness was blushing and panting slightly.

“What, exactly, are you two doing?” Megumin growled, planting her hands on her hips.

“What you two were doing, hopefully,” Chris said, yawning and sitting up to stretch.

That took both Megumin and Darkness aback, with Kazuma blushing and sitting up himself, eyeing Chris out of the corner of his eye. She had on only a T-shirt and her panties, while Kazuma put his boxers back on. Darkness had on an ornate if thin nightie, while Megumin wore PJs that were rather more wholesome and covered a lot more than Kazuma would have expected from her, being a frilly pink pair of long johns.

“W-what are you implying!? I-I wouldn’t spend the night snuggled up with that milk cow!” Megumin said, poking one of Darkness’ breasts to emphasize her point, which of course made Darkness moan slightly.

“Megumin, you’re more fixated on her boobs than Kazuma is. If you ask nicely, maybe she’ll let you play with them. You’d clearly enjoy it,” Chris said, standing and scratching herself.

Meguimn’s jaw dropped open, and she looked up at Darkness, her eyes widening slightly.

Darkness for her part, hugged herself, emphasizing her breasts even more, and blushing awkwardly down at Megumin. “I-I do enjoy it when you berate me and slap me around. I-If you would enjoy it, p-perhaps, um, you could force me down, and, ah…”

“W-what!? Why would you think-! I didn’t, I’m not-” Megumin began to babble, and Kazuma groaned.

“It’s too early for this. Besides, aren’t we supposed to be focused on defending the city or something? Where’s breakfast?”

“Y-yes! Um, w-we can, ah, engage in play later, Megumin,” Darkness said, but then she bent over slightly, putting her face level with Megumin’s. “B-but if you want to pinch me, y-you may do so at any time!”

That seemed to short circuit Megumin, who clearly wasn’t used to people responding positively to her bullying. Or, well, to her much at all.

“Breakfast sounds good. Let’s get dressed and get out there,” Chris agreed.

After changing into their jumpsuits, Darkness led them out to her sitting room, where a small private dining room adjoined. Aqua was already sitting there, shoveling a plate of bacon, eggs, potatoes, fruit, and pastries into her mouth. There was one other person at the table, but he looked like a chump so Kazuma ignored him.

“Hey guys! I got the mecha fixed!” Aqua said, her cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk’s around a mouth full of food. While her face and hands were clean, her clothes were coated in grease and grime, and were leaving a stain on the richly upholstered chair she was sitting in.

“Fantastic, nice work Aqua!” Kazuma said, giving her a big thumbs up.

“Good morning!” Chris said cheerily, waving to Aqua before sitting down and smiling. “Ah, excellent, I always have a healthy appetite before battle!”

“Yes, but we must construct a strategy instead of simply-” Darkness paused, as her eyes fell on the second person in the room. Her expression instantly fell. “Oh. It’s you.”

“My lady! When I heard you had returned to the city, I immediately hastened to the palace to see you once more!” A man in the uniform of a high ranking officer and pilot of the Axel military stood, bowing deeply to Darkness. He had a sword at his waist, perfectly coiffed light brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He was also tall and well built, with a strong jaw, complete with a hoity-toity accent and aristocratic nose.

Kazuma hated his guts on sight.

Forcing a polite smile on her face, Darkness returned the bow. “I am…glad… to hear you are hale, Sir Mitsurugi. These are my, ah, friends and companions, Megumin of the-”

“I don’t like him,” Megumin interrupted, glaring at Mitsurugi, who was still bowing. “He makes my stomach upset. Make him leave so we can eat in peace.”

“Ah! Behold, I am Sir Kyouya Misturugi!” the man declared, throwing his long white cloak out behind himself, and trusting one hand up in the air as he stood on one leg. “Foremost Pilot of the Knights of Axel, and he who will one day win Lady Lalatina’s hand in marriage!”

“Lame,” Megumin said, and brushed past Kyouya to sit down and start eating without further formality.

“Oh, well, I suppose my class on Crimson Demon culture wasn’t all it could be!” Kyouya said, laughing and shaking his head. “Fear not, Lady Lalatina, I will continue to work to impress our allies.”

Darkness visibly winced at the use of her name. “Ah, we were just going to be having breakfast, Sir Kyouya, and, ah, discussing somewhat private matters amongst ourselves.”

“Ah, fear not, for I have the highest of security clearances! I am, after all, a hero of our people and your knight in shining armor,” Kyouya said, bowing over Darkness’s hand and pressing his lips to the back of her hand.

Darkness grimaced, and hastily wiped her hand on a napkin as soon as Kyouya’s back was turned. “So, who are the rest of your companions?”

“I’m Kazuma, that’s Aqua, and she’s Chris. We’re busy. Piss off,” Kazuma said, glaring at Kyouya.

“Oh, I could never abandon my lady at such a time,” Kyouya said, and pulled Darkness’ chair out for her.

Sighing, Darkness allowed herself to be seated. “Truly, Sir Mitsurugi, we shall hold our council of war later. It was good to see you again, but-”

“Ah, how could childhood friends such as us be parted so soon? It has been so long since we have last seen one another. Please, allow me to stay,” Mitusrugi begged.

Darkness massaged her forehead, setting her jaw slightly. She was about to open her mouth, when Kazuma used a fork to fling a bit of egg onto the lapel of Kyouya’s uniform. “Childhood friends? Fat chance. You don’t know the first thing about her, do you?”

“Sir, do you impeach my honor?” Mitsurugi said, frowning at Kazuma. “I know you are a friend of Lady Lalatina, and have aided in our defense, but such uncouth words are unbefitting of a man so close to Lady Lalatina.”

“Darkness, do you want me to stab this jackass?” Chris asked, fingering her butter knife. “I’ll do it for free, because we’re friends.”

“Ha ha, surely you jest sir,” Mitsurugi laughed. “You are the young fellow they call Chris, are you- WOAH!”

“Chris! You can’t murder him, the duchy needs him!” Darkness growled, using both her arms to hold Chris back by sticking them up under her armpits as Chris thrashed about.

“Sir!? SIR!? LET ME GO DARKNESS, YOU HOLD I’LL PUNCH!” Chris raved, struggling wildly, but to no avail.

“Ha ha, you ah, have such interesting friends, Lady Lalatina! Er, they seem rather…rustic,” Kyouya said, chuckling nervously as Chris panted and glared daggers at him.

“Dude, read the room. No one here wants you around. Especially not Darkness,” Kazuma said, taking aim with another bit of egg.

Kyouya swatted it out of the air and glared at Kazuma. “You presume too much, sir! I know you are the ladies’ companion, but to use that vulgar nickname used to insult her so makes me think that you know so little of our beloved Lala-”

There was a loud crunch, and the table cracked in half, the bountiful breakfast toppling to the floor and spilling everywhere. Darkness’ fist had crashed into the aged hardwood, and shattered it like it was made of glass. She looked up at Kyouya, smiling sweetly, but with murder in her eyes. “Sir Mitsurugi. As I have told you, time and I again. I. Hate. That. Name. I tolerate it in public because it is my duty to do so. But, in private, with my friends, I go by Darkness. And your teasing is not the sort of humiliation I enjoy. At all.”

“Ha, eh, well, my Lady, surely you jest. That is a name unfit for one of your station, of the noble lady I so admire, the one who YAAAAAAAAAAA!”

“Oops,” Megumin said, pouring an entire decanter of near boiling coffee onto Kyouya’s pants. “I spilled. You should go change.”

“AH AH AH AH!” Kyouya wailed, dropping to the floor. His hand went to his privates as he writhed in agony, the scalding liquid clearly causing immense pain.

“Oh, how sad. You should go,” Kazuma said.

“Megumin,” Darkness sighed, rubbing her hand over her face. “Aqua…please heal him. We really do need the man in battle. He is one of our finest knights. Even if he is insufferable.”

“Seriously? He’s such a smug jerk,” Aqua said, going over to stand over Mitsurugi. “I normally like healing people, but I don’t know if I want to touch him.”

“You healed Kazuma, and he’s an ass,” Darkness sighed.

Kazuma made noises of upset protest, doing his best to look mortally offended.

A smile tugged at the corner of Darkness’ mouth. “Though this is the sort of humiliation I do enjoy. Cuckolded in my own rooms!”

“I mean, technically, you can just marry both of us,” Chris pointed out, picking a pastry up off the floor that wasn’t too damaged. “Come on, Aqua. Just heal him so he can go away.”

“Ugh, fine.” Aqua knelt over Mitsurugi, and healed his physical wounds, if not the emotional ones.

“T-thank you, my Lady,” Mitsurugi said, clutching Aqua’s hands, tears swimming in his eyes. “Truly, you are a refined beauty of grace and dignity. I can see that despite your tarnished exterior, true beauty lies underneath.”

“I can still stab him,” Chris pointed out, flipping the butterknife in her hand a couple times.

“Sir Mitsurugi, you are dirtied. We will…call for you to join us when we take the battle to the enemy,” Darkness sighed. “Please, go change.”

“Uh, yes, Lady Lalatina. I will, ah, send for more breakfast to be brought,” Kyouya said, and gingerly waddled out of the room.

“Do we REALLY have to go into battle with him?” Kazuma asked, picking up a cracked plate and spooning some eggs and potatoes onto it. Why let perfectly good food go to waste? They probably cleaned this floor so much you could eat off it.

Darkness seemed to agree, as she sat cross legged on the ground, picking up a plate of bacon that was only slightly soaked in orange juice. “He is a supremely talented pilot. And, well…his father is one of the most influential noblemen in the city, his house second only to my own. For a long time, it was thought he and I would be wed, and, ah…that might be a large part of the reason I…sort of ran off and became an insurance adjuster…”

“Why would you ever marry that walking pile of garbage?” Chris said, making a face. “Sure, he looks like a male model, but with a personality like THAT I think I’d rather be working at a burger fool or something than marry him.”

“Well, um…o-once uh, certain rumors about my, er…proclivities spread ... .none of the other nobles in Axel, or, well…the rest of the solar system…were interested,” Darkness admitted, squirming uncomfortably. She let out a sudden gasp, looking over at Kazuma as he squatted next to her to pick up his own bacon.

“Well, we’ll put up with you…and call you Darkness,” Kazuma said, taking his fingers away from where he’d given Darkness a sharp pinch on her rear.

“D-do it again. I need it after putting up with him,” Darkness begged. She groaned happily, then blinked when she realized two people had pinched her. And neither had been Kazuma.

“Don’t think this means I approve of your behavior. O-or that I’m a degenerate like you!” Megumin said, glaring at Darkness. “I just…did it as a friend. And because you should have hit HIM not the table! Our breakfast is nearly ruined!”

“I did it because you have a nice ass,” Chris said, winking. “Want me to pinch yours, Megumin?”

“No! W-why would you do such a thing! W-we are competing for the affections of Kazuma, as is proper!” Megumin stammered. “We are rivals!”

“Hmm, sure. Just remember though, some races end in ties,” Chris said, and dropped a slice of bacon down her gullet as Megumin blushed and looked away. “Mmm! The orange juice adds extra flavor!”

“There’s something weird about you and Kazuma,” Aqua said, stuffing another slice that was only slightly damaged into her mouth. She chewed for a moment, looking back and forth between the two accused. Chris blushed, but met Aqua’s gaze, while Kazuma whistled and looked away.

“Well whatever, like I said I fixed all your mechs. You can go kick Wolbach's ass so I can start healing people and helping fix this city!” Aqua decreed.