A Cat is Fine, Too (P3) (Patreon)

“Look, I don’t care how amazing of a tourist attraction I would be, I am NOT letting you reimprison me!” Wolbach snapped, poking her index finger into Hiropon’s chest.

“Well, I’m afraid the rules are the rules: Any escapies like Dark Gods or unspeakable horrors have to be returned to their exhibits. I mean, prisons,” the Chief of the Crimson Demon Clan said, shrugging. “So it’s back into the burrow you go. Now where’d I put that mystic seal?”

“This is outrageous! I’m not a Dark Goddess anymore!” Wolbach cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “I just spent the last few weeks being a damn CAT! I’m not letting you lock me up again!”

Just then, Kazuma jogged up, with Yunyun and Darkness hot on his heels, the lunches they’d bought from the Crimson Demon Succubus Maid Cafe (which had neither maids nor succubi) still hot in the bags in their hands. Hiropon and Wolbach were having a very loud and very public argument right in the center of the Crimson Demon Village, only a few hours after Wolbach and Chomusuke had still been separated.

Indeed, Megumin and Aqua were sitting back at the cafe watching the spectacle, looks of smug satisfaction on both their faces. Kazuma had a pretty good idea who it was that had told Hiropon about the “escaped” Dark God. Even if it HAD been Megumin who’d let her out in the first place. Chomusuke, for her part, was ignoring the affair, and was roasting the fish Kazuma had been pressured into ordering for the cat with her flame breath.

“Hey, man, back off!” Kazuma said, trying to shove Hiropon and Wolbach apart. He grunted and strained, but since Hiropon was an extremely high level archmage who DEFINITELY lifted and never skipped leg day, he was about as immovable as a block of stone. Mostly by accident, Kazuma’s other hand ended up on Wolbach’s rather squishier chest, earning him a look of outraged embarrassment from Wolbach, but she too refused to step back.

“Ah, Kazuma, you’re Yunyun’s friend, right? Just talk some sense into the dark goddess here,” Hiropon said. “Or we’ll be forced to use more extreme measures!”

“Yeah, I’m Yunyun’s friend, and Wolbach’s friend! Are you seriously going to lock up this innocent woman, the friend of your own daughter? Who helped save your village, might I add!” Kazuma demanded.

Yunyun gasped, looking delighted that she had made a friend, clasping her hands together and beaming. “I-Is it true?”

“I do remember some of my time as that damn cat,” Wolbach said. She gave Yunyun a smile. “You were always kind to me. I’m not a pet, but I would like to be your friend, young lady.”

“F-father! We cannot lock her up again!” Yunyun immediately declared.

Darkness nodded. “Yes, Chief Hiropon. We have just freed this woman. She has surely served her time for the crimes she committed in the past, and Aqua confirms she no longer has the powers of a Dark Goddess.”

“Hmmm,” Hiropon rubbed his chin, frowning. “Well, I still need a Dark Goddess to put in the barrow. I mean, what’s the point of having an incredibly cursed tomb with all kinds of powerful seals on it if you don’t imprison a great evil within? Tell you what, you can stay until we find another one. Someone always manages to bring back some forgotten horror every decade or so.”

The hell kinda town is this? Kazuma thought, then shook his head. He put an arm around Hiropon and hastily steered the older man a few steps away. “Listen man. You gotta help a brother out here.”

“Eh? What’s that?” Hiropon asked, lowering his voice and frowning at Kazuma. “What are you trying?”

“Take a long look at Wolbach. Forget the Dark God thing. What do you see?” Kazuma hissed, casting a furtive glance over at the red haired elf, who glowered at Hiropon, then gave Kazuma a nervous smile.

“Hmmm. Well, she seems to be a Highlander Elf, a young one at that,” Hiropon said slowly.

“Listen. Think back to when you were young. A strapping young archwizard and adventurer, just set out. How would YOU describe Wolbach?” Kazuma hissed.

Hiropon blinked. Then he gasped. “She’s a big tiddy elf-”

“SHHHHHHH!” Kazuma hissed, clapping a hand over Hiropon’s mouth. “Yes! Look at her! Bright red hair, delicate features, incredible thighs and legs, hourglass figure, and-”

“A huge rack,” Hiropon said, nodding. He slapped Kazuma on the back. “Well then! I think I understand, young man. And you say she’s Yunyun’s friend?”

“Yeah, look at Yunyun! She’d be heartbroken if you took away her new friend,” Kazuma said, gesturing to the nervous looking Yunyun. Darkness gave Yunyun a pat on the shoulder, which made the shorter girl start in alarm, then blush and timidly smile at Darkness. Sheesh. Darkness obviously figured they were friends, but Yunyun was so skittish.

“Hmmm, hmmm, I see. Well, obviously, I can’t just let you go,” Hiropon said, shaking his head.

“What?! Come on man, that’s totally-”

“INSTEAD YOU  MUST PROVE YOUR BONDS OF FELLOWSHIP BY MAKING A DRAMATIC ESCAPE AGAINST ALL ODDS, PROVING YOUR BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP AND LOVE!” Hiropon declared, planting his feet wide while one finger pointed skywards, the other hand clenched in a fist at his side.

Sheesh. Even this old man was a raging chuunibyou.

Hiropon winked at Kazuma and gave him a wide grin. “That’s your cue! Hurry, young man! Escape with the lady in question and win her freedom.”

Turning to Yunyun, Hiropon put a hand to the side of his mouth and said in a stage whisper. “Alright sweetie, you’ll have to go into exile for a few months since you're siding with an escaped criminal.”

“W-what?! D-daddy, I don’t want to be-”

“You can come back in a few months, or sooner if you do something suitably dramatic and interesting to prove you’re still loyal! Now, you’d better hurry and stop daddy before he blows you all up!”

Then Hiropon raised both arms over his head, a massive ball of flame appearing there, one that was easily the size of an ogre. “NOW, DEMON, YOU FACE HIROPON, FOREMOST CHIEF OF THE CRIMSON DEMON CLAN AND HE WHO WILL RECAPTURE THIS FALLEN GODDESS!”

“You damn menaces! I won’t be chained!” Wolbach snarled, and she raised her own hands, bolts of lightning racing over her fingers. “I’ll destroy you all and-”

Kazuma walked up and put a hand to the back of Hiropon’s neck. “Drain Touch.”

The fireball roared and started to shrink as Hiropon shuddered, then staggered down to one knee. “F-fiend! How dare you interrupt-”

“Paralyze!” Wolbach hissed, and Hiropon froze in place, before toppling to the ground.

“Daddy! No!” Yunyun wailed, running over to the chief, who was frozen stiff as a board.

“He’s fine,” Kazuma said, watching as Hiropon’s eyes twitched back and forth. He turned to Wolbach. “That food’s to go, right?”

“Uh, yes?” Wolbach said, glancing down at her take out.

“Super. MEGUMIN! AQUA!” Kazuma shouted. “WE’RE GETTING OUT OF HERE BEFORE ANY OTHER WACKOS DECIDE TO HAVE A SHOWDOWN AT HIGH NOON!”

“Why should we leave our meal?” Megumin demanded, even though she too was holding a take-out box, though hers was half eaten by this point.

“I am not yet done dining,” Chomusuke said in a rather snooty tone. “I refuse to depart until then.”

Kazuma blinked, then came over to the cat, who was nibbling away on her seared fish. He knelt down, eyeing Chomusuke. “You can still talk?”

Chomsuke didn’t answer, apparently not deigning Kazuma to be worthy of a further response, instead continuing to nibble on her meal.

“Right, whatever. Come on, we’re leaving.” Kazuma picked up Chomusuke by the nape of her neck, causing the cat to yowl and struggle in his grip.

“Fiend! Unhand me! I demand you treat me with the dignity due my station!” Chomsuke hissed, trying to claw Kazuma’s arm.

“Ok.” Kazuma dropped Chomusuke, who fell to the ground with a hiss. She did, of course, land on her feet, then glare up at Kazuma, before ignoring him and starting to wash herself.

“We’re not taking the traitor back with us, right?” Aqua asked, standing with her own take out.

Kazuma gave Aqua a flat look. “I dunno, we could leave you here instead. Maybe I should tell the Crimson Demon Clan Wolbach isn’t the only goddess here, and you could volunteer to live in that recently vacated prison.”

“Uh, on second thought, I just remembered something I need to do back in Axel,” Aqua said, grabbing Megumin and yanking at her. “Come on, let’s go home!”

“Hmph. Fine.” Megumin bent down and picked up Chomusuke, and both cat and girl glared at Kazuma.

He rolled his eyes and walked over to Yunyun, who was crying as Darkness and Wolbach tried to console her.

“There, there, it is not so bad, Hiropon is just fine,” Darkness was saying.

Wolbach nodded. “Yes, it was just a paralyze spell. He’s lucky I’ve been so depowered.”

“N-no, it’s that! H-he says I’m banished! F-for a year!” Yunyun sobbed.

“Oh relax,” Megumin said, rolling her eyes. “He’d say that whenever you were in trouble. He’ll forget in a week or two. Besides, it’s not like we were planning on coming back to the Village any time soon anyway, right?”

Yunyun looked up, her cheeks red and puffy. “Yes, but, Megumin, h-he’s my dad! I-I don’t want to fight with him…”

“Why? I fight with my dad all the time. It’s normal,” Megumin said with a shrug.

“Look, Yunyun, I know this is hard and all, but we really can’t stay. Some other bunch of idiots will  get it into their head it would be a cool thing to have a climactic showdown with a former Dark Goddess and slap her in the prison again. Which, you know, would kinda defeat the whole point of getting her back to normal.”

“Yes, I have no desire to return to that prison,” Wolbach agreed, shuddering. She looked around nervously as several villagers were gathering, looking on with interest at what might be something interesting, now that their convenient target practice from the invading Army of the Devil King was wiped out.

“Come on, Yunyun. Do it as a favor to a friend,” Kazuma urged.

That made Yunyun perk up, and she nodded. “O-okay. Everyone, um, hold hands…”

They all clasped hands in a circle, and Yunyun chanted the spell, finishing off with a “Teleport: Axel!”

When Kazuma blinked, they were standing in front of the mansion. He sighed, grateful to avoid a long and taxing journey from town. That ten minute walk was a real killer.

“Yunyun,” Megumin growled. “Why does your teleport spell have my house registered as its destination, and not your own?”

“Um, well, y-you see, I uh, I just wanted to…um…be able to strike at you from surprise! Yes! When next we have our contest, I shall teleport directly to your doorstep to-”

“You two can make out later,” Kazuma said, taking his own takeout bag from Darkness. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

“O-oh, OK, um, I guess I’ll come by tomorrow for my challenge then,” Yunyun said, sounding immensely disappointed.

“Don’t be silly, at least come eat with us first,” Darkness told her. “And perhaps you can stay for dinner: We owe you that much at least for teleporting us back here.”

Wolbach just stood by the entrance to the mansion, looking rather lost and uncertain of herself. Kazuma wasn’t certain what to do, so he shuffled over to her. “Uh, you can come in and eat too. We have extra beds if you need somewhere to stay…”

“That would be…acceptable,” Wolbach said after a moment, then gave Kazuma a nervous smile. “I seem to be homeless at the moment.”

Lunch was the usual rowdy affair, with Megumin snatching bits of food off of Yunyun’s tray, while Aqua glared daggers at Wolbach and sulked at the opposite end of the long table. At least until Darkness brought out two fancy looking bottles, popping the corks simply by pinching them and yanking them out. “To new friends! And your freedom of course, Miss Wolbach.”

“Uh, thank you,” Wolbach said, accepting a glance. She raised a glass, and smiled at Kazuma. “And to you, Mr. Sato: for restoring my freedom. For that, you have my eternal gratitude.”

“Hey, this is the REALLY good stuff!” Aqua gasped, holding up a glass to Darkness. “Gimmie!”

“Only if you promise not to make such a fuss about Wolbach moving in here,” Darkness said.

Aqua shot the former goddess a death glare. “Hmph! It was my followers who imprisoned her in the first place! Maybe I should call Cecily and have her-”

“Aqua, if you will simply stop whining and let me stay here, I promise to buy you a bottle of wine every week,” Wolbach said, sounding exasperated.

“And if you don’t quit complaining, I’ll kick you out and replace you with a new goddess!” Kazuma threatened.

Aqua continued to sulk for a few minutes, but after she got a few glasses in her, she was suddenly very buddy buddy with Wolbach, her cheeks red and flushed.

“Do you remember when Eris joined heaven?” Aqua tittered, scooting next to Wolbach. “She was such a good girl, until Hermes found out she was padding her bra. She put ghost peppers in his helmet! So when he started sweating, he got a rash! Hehe, I still tease her about it, but she’s just such a great prankster!”

“I would rather forget about it. Eris and I never got along, much like the two of us,” Wolbach said, frowning at Aqua.

“Aww, come on! We used to go drinking together after work when we were junior goddesses!”

“That’s because the Chief forced us. Old prude had a stick up her ass.”

“I know, right!?”

“I’m not sure how I feel about this,” Darkness said, looking back and forth as Wolbach and Aqua gossiped about various deities. “I…I do not like to hear my own patron deity besmirched in such a manner…”

“I’m just surprised heaven sounds like a boring office job,” Kazuma said, polishing off the last of his meat skewers. He frowned. “Actually, you know what: no, that makes sense. Heaven would be a boring place. That’s what Aqua said the first time I died anyway.”

Darkness poured herself another very large glass of wine, and proceeded to attempt to get drunk. Given her constitution, Kazuma figured she’d need to skip the bottles and go straight for a whole barrel.

Yunyun did indeed stay for dinner that night, which Kazuma ended up cooking. He kept it simple, making some rice and stir fry with vegetables and chicken. He’d figured out how to make some possible soy sauce after a little experimentation, so it came out pretty good.

“Can I help?” Wolbach asked as Kazuma sweated over the frying pan. The others were all playing some board game, with Aqua now thoroughly sloshed, and Megumin making an unholy terror of herself as she got overly competitive as usual.

“Huh? Nah, it’s fine, my turn to make dinner anyway. I wouldn’t say no to you helping with the clean up later though,” Kazuma said, wiping his brow.

“I can do that. It’s likely best if you cook anyway: I have not much experience with cooking,” Wolbach admitted.

“Oh great. Don’t tell me you’d burn a salad or boil toast,” Kazuma said, sighing as he considered the potential roster. Darkness almost always bought take out from town, though she was at least a passable cook if she had to. Megumin made bizarre but decent dishes, while Aqua made nothing but junk food. He couldn’t be assed to make anything fancy usually, but he had the cooking skill so he at least could make a filling and tasty meal with basic ingredients.

Wolbach tidied up the dishes and knives Kazuma had already used efficiently enough, then came and leaned on the wall by the stove as Kazuma cooked. She watched him for a minute, and he sweated somewhat nervously. Now that he HAD a Big Tiddy Elf…he wasn’t actually sure what to DO with her.

“Thank you,” Wolbach said, her voice soft.

“Huh? For dinner? Like I said, relax, we’re having Yunyun over too anyway,” Kazuma said, wiping his brow with his forearm again. He really was sweating like a pig. It was just too hot in here.

“No. For caring. For trying to save me,” Wolbach said, giving him an odd smile. “You know, not one of my followers bothered to look for me for all that time. Oh sure, they came when there was power to be had, but none of them actually cared enough to try and find me when I was weak and imprisoned. Makes a girl think.”

“I mean, uh, I wasn’t exactly being…totally altruistic either,” Kazuma said, glancing again at Wolbach’s bust. She was wearing a low cut red and purple robe, one of silk that clung to her rather impressive figure.

That prompted a bark of laughter from Wolbach. “I suppose. I don’t…mind. Hmm. Not the right word?”

Swallowing, Kazuma forced his eyes onto Wolbach’s, which made him sweat all the harder for some reason. She really was strikingly beautiful, and far more of a woman than the girls in his party. Megumin was cute, Darkness was sensuality given form, and Aqua had a literally perfect figure. But there was something more reserved and mature about Wolbach. She wasn’t just a girl: She was a woman, and she knew it.

They stood there for a moment, and Wolbach slowly straightened up. She was blushing as much as Kazuma, and he realized she was eyeing him up and down. He forced himself not to grimace. He wasn’t much to look at. Sure, he wasn’t a fat slob; he’d never eaten much during his marathon gaming sessions, mainlining energy drinks and eating a little rice. Not healthy, but it wouldn’t make you fat.

“You’re not too bad to look at either, I suppose. I never went in for hulking brutes, but you’re in decent shape I suppose,” Wolbach said, reaching out and brushing her fingers along Kazuma’s shoulders. “You’re young too: you’ll fill out more with time.”

Kazuma shivered, and suddenly realized that he actually did have a bit of muscle now. He’d not only worked as a laborer for a few months, but he spent far more of his time than he liked outside, running around and trying not to die and keeping a reign on his band of eclectic weirdos.

“I’m not that young,” Kazuma blurted. “I’ve been here about a year now: I’m almost 18!”

“Really?” A smile quirked at Wolbach’s lips. “We’re close in age then. I’m only a little older than Aqua, so I’m 18 as well.”

“Wait? Really?” Kazuma’s eyes suddenly narrowed. “Hold on. Eighteen what?”

Wolbach chuckled and shook her head, brushing back a lock of her red hair. “Never ask a woman her age, Kazuma.” Then she leaned in close to Kazuma’s ear. He felt an electric tingle race down his spine as her breath puffed against his skin. “But for your information, I’m still young enough to find you fascinating.”

She leaned back a little, her face right next to Kazuma’s. He felt a surge of panic. What should he do!? He was a virgin NEET! He didn’t know what to do! He felt lightened, and could smell something burning.

Something burning!

“Dammit, the food!” Kazuma cried, and he and Wolbach quickly turned to finish up the meal. The moment was gone, and they dished everything up, then headed out to serve everyone.

When they all sat down, Kazuma found that his seat was already occupied. Chomusuke had a little napkin tied around her neck, and was sitting on the table in front of Kazuma’s plate.

“Come to serve me yourself? Very well, stand there, servant,” Chomusuke ordered. “I do not want the vegetables: Pick out only the finest bits of meat for me.”

“Yeah, no.” Kazuma reached down to pick up Chomusuke and set her on the floor, only for the cat to bite his finger. “Ow! Hey! That’s MY seat!”

“It is at the head of the table, and as the owner of this house, it is mine by right. You, as the servant, may wait upon me,” Chomusuke said, then turned to Megumin. “I was thinking: we should put in a fish pond. Lady Aqua is a water goddess after all, and I would like fresh fish for dinner more often. We simply don’t eat enough fish.”

“Now hold on a minute! What do you mean, owner of this house!? I’m the one who won this mansion in a quest! And I’m the head of the party!” Kazuma growled. “I’ve had it up to here with-”

The world suddenly spun, and Kazuma let out a squeak. He tried to speak, but more squeaking noises emanated from him. Why was the table so tall? And why was everything so LOUD and BRIGHT!? A giant hand reached out, and a panicked Aqua’s face loomed large in front of him.

“What did you do to him, you monster!?” Wolbach was raging. She had stood up so quickly she’d knocked over her chair, and both of her hands were burning with bright red flames.

“Chomusuke, Chomusuke what did you do!?” Yunyun cried, jumping up herself.

The cat, for her part, licked her paw and smoothed her fur, looking smug. “I merely exercised my right as ruler of this domain, and goddess of this house.”

“You can’t just curse mortals like that for no reason, it’s against the Rules!” Aqua babbled, stroking the shivering Kazuma in her hands. “Change him back, right now! Kazuma isn’t a mouse!”

Kazuma let out an emphatic squeak, and nodded.

“No. Perhaps later. If I do not grow hungry and eat him. Now where is my food?” Chomusuke sniffed.

“You can’t eat Kazuma. Even if he does deserve some punishment,” Megumin grumbled.

“If you won’t change him back, I will!” Aqua vowed.

Chomusuke snickered at that, her tail swishing back and forth in amusement. “Foolish woman. I am a Goddess! You cannot simply undo my spell! No mortal can-”

“Sacred Dispel!”

The world spun again, and Kazuma found he was laying on the floor, Aqua kneeling beside him. Chomusuke’s tail had stopped moving, and the cat appeared utterly stunned.

“You’re not the only goddess here,” Kazuma growled. He pointed a finger at Chomusuke. “Bad Cat! Create Water!”

“Ack! Pfff! Noooooo!” Chomusuke wailed, as she was thoroughly soaked by the water. Kazuma let the stream stop, and Chomusuke glared at him, soaking wet. “Filthy mortal! How dare you defy the will of your mistress! I shall-”

“Chomusuke, enough. Your dinner is getting cold,” Megumin said, spearing a few chunks of chicken and placing them on Chomusuke’s plate. “Here. Just eat and ignore the stupid NEET.”

“Hmph.” Chomusuke turned around and picked up the food with one claw. “Fine. I decided to let the spell fall anyway. He is a very useful servant. Perhaps later, I will consent to let him stroke me.”

“Hey! I’m the one who broke your spell, I’m a SENIOR goddess, you stupid cat, you’re not even-”

“Let’s just eat,” Kazuma groaned, getting up with a hand from Wolbach, who was still glaring daggers at Chomusuke. “Come on, Aqua. We’ll figure this out later.”

Later, when Chomusuke tried to sit in Kazuma’s lap, he got up and went outside, fuming. That damn cat. Turn him into a mouse, would she? “I’m going for a walk.”

“I shall join you,” Wolbach said, taking one of Megumin’s cloaks from the rack by the door and wrapping it about her shoulders. “I spent far too long cooped up.”

“Yeah, that sounds fun! I wanna come too!” Aqua agreed, standing herself.

“Ah, Aqua, I think perhaps we should…brush your hair,” Darkness said, putting a hand on Aqua’s arm.

“Huh? Why? We’ve never done that before,” Aqua said suspiciously.

Darkness sighed. “Because…Yunyun is apparently spending the night. It shall be a…what is it called?”

“A-A sleepover with friends!?” Yunyun gasped, clasping her hands together. “I never had one before!”

“What, a friend?” Megumin said with a snort.

Yunyun looked crestfallen, but Darkness nodded. “Neither did I. I attempted to play with some of the servants' children, or the youths in the village…one time I did spend a night at the Symphonia family summer manse, but I of course had my own rooms and maid servant…”

“Actually, I never had a sleepover either,” Megumin admitted. She shot Darkness a dirty look. “Though I at least have a cute little sister, and we’d sleep together when it was cold.”

“W-we can braid each other’s hair! I-I have some books, a-about what friends do together on sleepovers! D-do we have to have a pillow fight, though?” Yunyun asked.

“Yeah! We can eat popcorn and watch movies!” Aqua said eagerly.

The others all gave her a blank look, while Kazuma and Wolbach both groaned and slapped their foreheads in exasperation.

“What is this…movie?” Darkness asked, uncertain.

“Come on, they’ll be like that all night,” Kazuma sighed, putting on his own cloak. He stepped out into the cool night air. It was partly overcast, but the half crescent moon could be seen, and a few stars still glittered.

Wolbach stood beside him for a moment, looking up at the sky. She smiled wanly to herself. “You know, after all these millenia…I never really stop to look at the beauty we wrought all those ages ago. But now that I actually have limited time…it means more, somehow.”

“Uh, yeah. Though, honestly, immortality sounds kinda awesome,” Kazuma said, coughing in embarrassment.

Wolbach gave him a sad smile in the dim starlight. “All things grow wearisome. Especially when you’re alone.”

“Well, I’m here,” Kazuma said without thinking, and held out his hand to her. He was sort of expecting her to shake it or something, but instead she clasped it tightly, lowering their hands close to their waists.

“Yes. I suppose you are. Shall we?”

The walk was, at least on Kazuma’s part, incredibly awkward. They just strolled around the mansion’s grounds, Kazuma using his dark vision to see clearly enough in the dim light. But he’d never gone on a nighttime walk with a girl before, and he just wasn’t sure what you were supposed to DO. In a Visual Novel, there’d be some sort of flag, or event, and then you’d have to choose the right answers to gain favor so you could progress the route. But dammit, there weren’t any dialogue options! How was he supposed to unlock the H-Scenes?!

“Wait, are there H Scenes?” Kazuma muttered to himself.

“Hmm?” Wolbach said, coming to a stop. “Did you say something?”

“Uh, no,” Kazuma said, blushing. He gave Wolbach’s hand a squeeze. “Well, yeah. I was just…I mean, I’ve never done this before.”

“Neither have I. Not in all my millennia,” Wolbach whispered. Was she blushing too? She was shifting from foot to foot, actually. Wait…hold on…

“Wait, are you a nervous virgin too!?” Kazuma blurted.

Wolbach jerked back, dropping Kazuma’s hand. Her hands flew up to her mouth, and Kazuma swore.

He had just tripped a flag, dammit.

Then, Wolbach let out a snort. She gasped in horror, but then she snorted again. A moment later, she let out a deep belly laugh, and doubled over, laughing uproariously.

“I never know what’s going to happen with you, Kazuma Sato,” Wolbach gasped, clutching at her chest and laughing. She wiped a tear from her eye, and after a minute or so, managed to compose herself.

“The answer,” she said in a somewhat breathless tone. “Is yes.”

“Oh.” Kazuma stood there for a moment, then asked. “So, uh, are we supposed to kiss, or something?”

Wolbach stiffened, then looked down, fidgeting. “Um, I suppose…we could-”

A glowing form floated out onto the path, and an ethereal giggle sounded in Kazuma’s ears. He let out a scream, then jumped between Wolbach and whatever the hell it was.

“Watch out! It’s a ghost!”

“Yes. Good evening, Anna. How are you? Do you recognize me?” Wolbach said, crouching down so she was at eye level with the short spirit.

“Of course. You used to be a cat though,” the ghost giggled. She stuck her tongue out at Kazuma. “Got you! Hehe.”

“Wait, hold on. You’re the creepy little girl! I thought Aqua exorcized you!” Kazuma said, pointing an accusing finger.

Anna pouted, puffing out her cheeks and floating up to eye level with Kazuma. “No! The nice blue lady says Anna is a good girl! She’s nice, so I let her and the rest of you stay in my house!”

“Oh. Uh…sorry,” Kazuma said, rubbing the back of his head. “We were just, uh…”

“Kazuma and Kitty sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Anna sang, dancing about in the air around the two nervous lovers.

“Um, we hadn’t actually got to that part yet,” Kazuma admitted.

“Good! Kissing is gross!” Anna said, sticking out her tongue in disgust. She waved at Wolbach. “You’re not a kitty anymore, Kitty! You’re pretty though! I like you, so you can stay in my house too!”

“Thank you, Miss Anna,” Wolbach said, and curtsied. She smiled at the ghost girl. “It is a lovely house. We’ll take good care of it for you.”

“Ok! I’m gonna go prank Aqua! He-he! She always screams so good! I caught some spiders, I think I’ll send ‘em down her PJs!” Anna floated off into a bush, and vanished.

For a moment, Kazuma and Wolbach stood there alone, neither of them looking at each other.

“So, uh…that kinda killed the mood,” Kazuma admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “Maybe…”

“Some other time,” Wolbach agreed hastily. “Anna is a sweet girl, but…”

“Yeah, don’t want my first kiss to remind me of a creepy loli,” Kazuma said, sticking his tongue out.

They laughed, and held hands as they walked back to the mansion, but Kazuma couldn’t help but feel at least a little disappointed.