The Second Archon War: Superbia Hominem 5 (Patreon)

Superbia Hominem 5: Let No Man Tear Asunder

“Aunty Becky!” 

Alexandria waved and smiled as the gangly bespectacled girl ran up to her from the jetway, along with the mousy-looking boy who followed along behind. She leaned over, giving Taylor a big hug, and then did the same with Junior who murmured his own greetings. The girl grinned up at her. “Congratulations! Are you excited? Are you nervous? Where’s Uncle Wyatt?”

“Probably explaining to Eidolon how to draft Genius Invocation TCG cards with great enthusiasm,” Alexandria said dryly. 

Taylor laughed at that, turning to her travel companion. “Junior and his dads already know how, Uncle Arthur is a huge nerd. We play Genius Invocation TCG with him all the time.”

“It’s fun, we both brought our decks,” Junior agreed, shifting the backpack on his back. 

“Maybe I should send you to play cards with the boys instead of the girly stuff,” Alexandria teased, and Taylor made a face. “Or maybe not. Come on, let’s go meet the others.”

Turning, Alexandria led the kids through LAX, which was as crowded and busy as usual with hoards of travelers. It wasn’t quite spring break yet, but there were still plenty of people heading for sunny LA in early March. 

“How come I had to take a plane? Couldn’t you have just flown me over?” Taylor asked, her suitcase making a loud clack-clack sound as it rolled across the floor. 

“I suppose I could have, but then you two wouldn’t have had the chance to fly solo across the country, eh?” Alexandria asked. 

Junior nodded seriously, reaching into his backpack to take out a cell phone. “Yeah, it was cool,but I’m supposed to call my dads when the plane lands; hold on a sec.”

They paused as Junior dialed a number and had a quick phone conversation, then hung up. “He said hello, and that I’d better hurry before all the good cards are gone. But they can’t start the draft without me, right?”

“I’m sure the bachelor party is already in full swing. I’ll drop you off there before we go head to the bachelorette bash,” Alexandria assured Junior.

“What are you guys doing anyway?” Junior asked, putting the phone back in his backpack before trundling along after Alexandria and Taylor.

They exchanged glances, giggled, then said together, “Girl stuff.”

“What, like shopping?” Junior asked, sounding suspicious. 

“Yes,” Taylor agreed. “Lots of shopping. For clothes.”

“Oh. Uh, well have fun, I guess,” Junior said, making a face. Alexandria had to stifle a laugh, and Taylor put her hand over her mouth to hide her own laughter. 

The exhausting car-based commute to the hotel where Wyatt was having his bachelor party reminded Alexandria why she didn’t drive any more, especially not in LA. But she was trying to be a “normal” person today, so she’d at least put up with it. Wyatt and Keith Senior came out to pick up Keith Junior, along with a disgruntled looking David. 

“Take me with you,” he said, leaning on the car door and looking exhausted. “I don’t think I can take one more explanation of how elemental reactions work.”

“Don’t you have to know that stuff for work?” Taylor asked, peering over Alexandria from the passenger’s seat. 

“Yes, but we don’t use made up elements like Pyro, Geo, and Hydro,” David said with a roll of his eyes. “Why can’t we just call them fire, rock, and water?” 

“Hey, maybe the next three Archons will be the same as in the game,” Alexandria laughed, and she was only half joking. Wyatt had more than convinced her that Genius Invocation TCG was prophetic.

“Oh come on, David, it’ll be fun! Besides, if you’re bored with that, we could play Smash or 40k! You can borrow my Lamenters,” Wyatt offered. 

David groaned and turned away from the car. “Why couldn’t you just do hookers like a normal bachelor party? Then I’d have had a reason to turn you down.”

“Because my wife can bench press a battleship, and I’d like to survive my wedding night,” Wyatt said, putting a conciliatory arm around David. He waved goodbye. “Besides, this way I save more money for my precious cardboard crack. Have fun at Disneyland!”

“DISNEYLAND!? They get to go to Disneyland?!” Junior protested, but Alexandria was already pulling away. 

“Bye Junior! Have fun with your card games!” Taylor called as the car raced away from the hotel, then giggled along with Alexandria. 

“This is your first trip to Disneyland, right?” Alexandria asked as they got back on the highway. It wasn’t much further to Anaheim, but it was still exhausting driving through the congestion. 

“Yeah, we went to Disney World when I was little but I don’t remember it much,” Taylor admitted. “Thanks for inviting me. I didn’t think they usually let kids come to bachelor parties.”

“Well, you’re going to be the flower girl, so it’s only fair you get the fun along with the work,” Alexandria said with a wink. 

They soon arrived at the resort where they’d be staying and checked in. “Do I get my own room?!” Taylor asked when she was given her keycard. 

Alexandria shook her head “No, you’ll be staying with-”

“Me and Eighty!” 

They turned around to see the very image of a Disney Tourist. Contessa was wearing plastic mouse ears, a loud Hawaiian shirt, a lanyard with a variety of passes on it, and a colorful mug depicting Disney’s Mushu and the cast of characters in his spin off series. No relation to the real-life dragon of the same name. 

“Uh, hi,” Taylor said, looking confused. “I’m Taylor, who’re you?”

Contessa adopted a serious look, which was rather ruined by her outrageous clothes, and leaned in close, putting an arm around Taylor’s shoulders. “An international woman of mystery. I am known by many names. Contessa. Fate’s Fool. Asset Tyche. But you can call me…Nee-chan.”

Taylor snorted with laughter at that last one, darting an uncertain look at Alexandria. 

“She’s…a Thinker,” Alexandria said with a sigh. 

“Ah,” Taylor said with an understanding nod.

Conessa shook her head. “Hey, I’m not just a Thinker. I’m The Thinker.”

“Really?” Taylor’s eyes light up, and she pulled her father’s Vision out of her pocket. “Can you tell me how to make this work again?”

Contessa started to shake her head, then suddenly stiffened. Her eyes started to race back and forth, and she held Eighty up to her ear.  Taylor’s expression became so hopeful that it nearly broke Alexandria’s heart. 

“What…can you tell me about that Vision?” Contessa finally asked. Then held up a hand. “Wait, not here. In the room. Quickly!” 

They ended up racing up the stairs, with Taylor too impatient to wait for the elevator, all the way up to the 15th floor. They had the penthouse with adjoining suites, and Contessa ushered Taylor in, shutting the door behind them. “Bugs, bugs, are there any bugs here?” she asked, then shook Eighty vigorously before holding up the answer and sighing in relief. 

My sources say no. 

“Alright, now, tell me everything,” Contessa said, grabbing a chair and spinning it around so she was sitting facing the back, leaning it in towards Taylor. 

“Well, um, you see…” Taylor suddenly teared up, sniffling and scrubbing at her face. 

“You know she got it from her father,” Alexandria said, as Contessa leaned back, looking mortified. 

“N-no, it’s not that, it’s just…last month,” Taylor hiccuped.

“Oh. Your friend’s brother,” Alexandria pulled Taylor into a hug as the girl wept on her shoulder. Legend had mentioned that one of Junior’s friends, a girl named Sarah who was a constant troublemaker, had found the body of her dead brother after he’d committed suicide. Taylor and her mother, Annette, had been present, having brought Sarah home after kendo practice. There was no foul play suspected: Reginald Livsey had a history of depression, and had left a detailed suicide note. 

“Sorry,” Contessa said, scooting forward and reluctantly rubbing Taylor’s back. “I, uh, didn’t know before, but now…you can just tell me about the Vision.”

Sniffling, Taylor nodded, wiping her nose before cupping the Vision in her hands. “When…when I heard Sarah scream, I felt…power. I felt my dad, like he was right there, whispering in my ear to protect her. I ran up the stairs, and I think…I think it was glowing. I felt power in my veins. But when…when I saw…saw Reggie…”

She trailed off, but Contessa was already leaning back, her head pointing up towards the ceiling. She was muttering again, clutching Eighty to her forehead. At last, she lowered her head, Taylor having mostly calmed and looking eagerly to Contessa. 

“I don’t know everything. I think I need to go talk to Nahida again,” Contessa said, her eyes still unfocused. “But after what the Tsaritsa said earlier this morning…”

“You talked to the Hopebringer?! And the Ice Queen!?” Taylor gasped in shock. 

“Told ya, Nee-Chan is The Thinker,” Contessa said, but her eyes were still distant. “I can’t sense Elemental Energy…Becky, can you detect any in her Vision?”

Dubiously, Alexandria picked up the Vision. It was inert, like any Vision who’s holder had been slain or abandoned it. At first, she couldn’t sense anything, but after focusing, she detected a faint trace of Elemental Energy, specifically what felt like Electro. 

“There’s something. Faint, like an echo. Maybe it’s just a wisp of power left from Daniel Hebert, or maybe it’s residue she picked up from somewhere else. You said your friend Rachel has a Vision, right?”

Taylor nodded eagerly, having mentioned her canine-obsessed companion during the ride over. “Yeah, but I know it reactivated, just for a few moments! I need to know how to keep it doing that!” 

“No,” Contessa said slowly, shaking her head. Her eyes were distant again. “You must have the mind of a god. Your mortal ambition must align with their divine will. Raiden is the God of Eternity and Thunder. You must share your Vision with hers. But…but there is one more thing. It’s on the tip of my…” She suddenly held Eighty up and glared at it. “Will you shut up!? You don’t know ANYTHING about gods! UGH!” With a heave, Contessa flung Eighty against the wall, where it rebounded off Mickey’s face with a thud. 

That was odder than usual. Most of the time, Contessa adored that stupid little puppet. “Contessa, are you-”

“Listen to me,” Contessa said, grabbing Taylor’s shoulders, a wild look in her eyes. Taylor seemed nonplussed, even eager, despite the manic behavior. “I’m from the past. I know things that you uptimers just don’t get. The Visions are gifts from the Gods to Mankind, like the fires of Prometheus! You must offer prayers and sacrifices to the Raiden Shogun and to the spirit of your father to reignite the Vision!” Suddenly, Contessa whipped her head to the side, glaring at where Eighty was lying on the floor, where one of his eyes had come loose. “NO, SHUT UP, YOU’RE JUST A LITTLE GOD, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!” 

Breathing hard, tears leaking down her cheeks, Contessa bent lower, her forehead nearly touching Taylor’s. “This doesn’t come to me by my Path, this is something that…that I see in fate itself! To reignite your Vision, it’s possible! You must make your Ambition shine bright! You must align your Vision with the Raiden Shoguns! And you must call upon the spirit of your father, that still lives within you, within his Vision! Do these things and you will, you will…”

Contessa let Taylor go and started pacing and muttering again, stooping to pick up Eighty and whisper condolences to it. 

“Ah, Taylor, perhaps you’d better come with me,” Alexandria said. “We can head to the park, we only have this evening and tomorrow morning.”

Upon hearing that, Contessa spun about. “You’re not leaving me behind! I’ve already mapped out which rides I want to go on first based on which will have the shortest lines! We have to go on Big Thunder Mountain!” 

That made Alexandria smile. “Contessa…we’re getting the VIP treatment. We don’t have to wait in line.”

At that, Contessa let out a squeal and retrieved her cup. “Have I mentioned you’re my best friend lately!? Because you’re my bestie, Becky. Come on, Taylor. We’ll go on all the best rides!”

“I don’t know, I’m kinda tired,” Taylor said, fingering her Vision. 

“Did I mention that the Raiden Shogun loves amusement parks? Because she totally does. Complete otaku for Disney. Has all kinds of plushies and all the movies,” Contessa stated confidently. 

“What are we waiting for, let’s go!” Taylor declared, and charged out the door.

After that Rebecca set Contessa and Taylor loose with a PRT minder to keep them from getting in too much trouble. She predicted both of them would eat themselves sick, go on far too many rides, and pass out from exhaustion when they got back to their rooms after midnight. For her part, she took a more sedate tour with Dr. Mother, and Miss Militia. 

“Small party for a bachelorette bash, don’t you think?” Doctor Mother asked as they walked down Main Street USA. They had a cast member assigned to them, along with a couple of PRT Bodyguards in case anyone recognized them. Though Alexandria thought it unlikely since she had on typical tourist garb herself, bedecked in mouse ears and sunglasses. 

“The wedding is going to be enough of a media circus. I just wanted this to be a day to relax with my friends,” Alexandria said with a shrug. “And I always dreamed of visiting Disneyland, especially when I was a cancer patient. By the time I was healthy enough to visit, well, I had other priorities. So we’re taking a day off. Narwhal is covering Los Angeles for me, and if anything really bad happens, they know how to contact me.”

“We all need to relax sometimes. It’s especially important for a Noctis cape like myself, since I don’t even need to sleep,” Miss Militia agreed. “Besides, if anything actually happens, we can always take a door from Disneyland as easily as we can HQ.”

“Well, just try to actually relax instead of doing what David did and run off at the first opportunity,” Doctor Mother said with a shake of her head. “Though that really was Contessa’s fault. She ought to have known better than to drag him off to Russia with her.”

“It’s fine, and besides, better relations with the Tsaritsa can’t hurt us,” Alexandria said with a laugh. “Who knows? Perhaps we’ll invite her to Disneyland someday.” 

“Now wouldn’t that be an experience,” Miss Militia laughed. “Now come on, I’ve always wanted to go on Space Mountain.” 

That night and the next day ended up being some of the most magical that Alexandria had experienced in her entire life. Perhaps the only thing that really compared was when she’d taken her first flight after receiving her powers. It was even a joy to take Taylor on several rides. Initially she’d brought the girl along out of a sense of duty, and because she’d needed a flower girl and Taylor had been the best non-political option. But it was fun to experience Disneyland through the eyes of a child, eyes that still held wonder that Alexandria had long lost. 

Still, for all the delight of the rides and attractions, the real treat came when they left the most magical place on earth behind, and headed to Catedral de Nuestra Señora de los Ángeles, or the Los Angeles Cathedral. More informally known as COLA. 

While Alexandria was no longer an observant Catholic, that was her heritage, and her family still very much was. She still remembered her own first communion when she’d been a little girl, though that had been at the small parish church in the suburbs instead of at the grandiose cathedral. 

It was, of course, a media circus. The wedding ceremony wasn’t until the afternoon, but the morning was spent with picture-taking and other duties. Thankfully, Alexandria had not planned her own wedding aside from a few small details, she had no time for such frippery, but she still wanted this to be a special day for her and Wyatt both. 

Her dress was an heirloom, passed down from her mother, who was in tears to see her daughter finally wearing it. Her parents were overjoyed and very accepting of Wyatt, even if he was a gringo, but her last living grandmother was suspicious of him, not the least because Wyatt’s family were Lutheran and Wyatt himself had never been a practicing Christian. Still, he’d taken the necessary classes for the ceremony to take place at the cathedral, and for the bishop of Los Angeles to marry them. 

A large part of Alexandria’s mind was consumed with the worry that the wedding would be interrupted by one of her many enemies. Perhaps the Slaughter House Nine would crash the party, or Glaistig Uaine would escape BIRDCAGE and arrive with a host of the sins of Alexandria’s past. 

So, she stood at the altar, sweating despite the mild March day, as cameras flashed and Bishop Ramirez looked imposing in his formal robes. 

Then Wyatt appeared, flashed that boyish grin of his, and Alexandria’s heart fluttered all over again. She smiled back, blushing like she was some sort of pure maiden. Wyatt took her heads, giving them a squeeze that she could just barely feel. 

“You look amazing. Hope you’re not as nervous as I am,” he whispered, and that made her laugh. 

“Honestly, I think I’m less nervous at an Endbringer fight,” she whispered back, then they turned to face the bishop. Together. 

After the “I dos” came the wedding reception. It was, of course, a massive event. Not only were there capes from every branch of the Protectorate, but there were politicians from Washington, celebrities from Hollywood, and of course, foreign dignitaries. 

One of which drew nearly as many looks as the bride.

“Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Costa-Brown! Nahida sends her regards as well, along with this as a gift,” a stunning young woman in an emerald green dress said. She was stunning not for her shapely figure, but for the fact that her entire body seemed to be made out of wood, vines, and metallic wires. Even her hair was made of plant matter mixed with fine copper wire, and it was tied back in a loose bun with living vines. 

“Thank you, Flower Dragon,” Alexandria said, accepting the small package that was wrapped in leaves and tied with string. 

The alien woman laughed nervously, smiling awkwardly and adjusting the tortoise shell glasses she wore. Surely that had to be an affectation. “Oh, please, it’s just Theresa. Or Tess, honestly.”

“Well, thank you for coming,” Wyatt said, nodding. “We look forward to working with you and Nahida Saeed in the future.”

“Oh, you betcha!” Tess said with a pronounced Newfie accent, smiling winningly. Her teeth, oddly enough, were pearly white. “Well, you both have a blessed day! Allah be with you!” 

Then Tess stepped away from the reception table, going to speak with the representatives of the Knights of Favonius, Amber Kaninchen and Lauren von Eula. The Japanese representatives were Lady Noriko Gyoko and her wife Bukdu. Interesting that it was Japan’s Kanjou Commission, their Minister of Finance, that had supplied the guests instead of Mushu or his wife. 

At that particular moment, Taylor was over with the amused looking Captain Bukdu, her notebook out, dull Vision on a chain around her neck, as she grilled the Korean Visionholder for details. Even at a wedding, Taylor never gave up. 

“Sorry, Danny, I don’t think I can keep that one from a Vision,” Alexandria whispered, before smiling and gladhanding with the President of Mexico. 

The real highlight of the reception for Alexandria was when she and Wyatt were finally allowed a break from greeting dignitaries and were allowed their first dance. It was “My Heart Will Go On,” from Titanic. While Alexandria wasn’t normally one for mushy romance, the story of Rose and Jack had spoken to her. They were as doomed as Alexandria and Wyatt, but they’d found love in the midst of disaster. So the world was ending. So everyone might die soon as the ship known as Earth Bet foundered and was lost. 

But they’d go down fighting, arm in arm, and their love would go on, no matter what horrific price had to be paid. For this day, for this night, they had each other. 

At last, it was time to depart. Instead of leaving for a hotel, Alexandria picked her groom up in her arms in a bridal carry, and they flew off together. Wyatt laughed and quipped, “And here I thought I was the one supposed to sweep you off your feet!” 

They traveled through the night sky until they found the dawn, landing on the deserted island of Nihoa in the Northwestern Hawaiian islands. It was a quarter mile of grassy rocks sticking up out of the Pacific Ocean, where they’d stashed a tent and a couple of sleeping bags the day before. Their only company were seabirds and crabs, a little solitude and peace in a sea of chaos. 

“I think we can do it,” Alexandria said, holding tight to Wyatt after their first lovemaking under the clear blue sky.

“What, this marriage? I hope so, we only just started!” Wyatt laughed. Then he sobered. “You mean…save the world. Yeah. I think we can.”

“We can make this country something great, make this world something worth saving,” Alexandria said, reaching a hand up towards the sun, and grasping it tightly as she felt the tickle of its warmth on her skin. “We’ll save this world. And one another. Together. Always.”

“And always, I will love you,” Wyatt told her, and kissed her. 

They only got to enjoy another twelve hours of bliss together. Then they had to appear on their official honeymoon, which was really a campaign tour through the battleground states of Ohio, Pennsylvania, and Arizona. Not exactly most people’s idea of an ideal start to a marriage. But Wyatt was game for it, and it was important the American people see their next President was an honest woman now. 

Together, they would ensure that the American people and the American way would continue on into the future. And that neither Entities nor Archons would determine the future of Mankind. 

PHILO: Hero speaks truth. Nights of awkward horniness are temporary and full of regret; cardboard crack is not only memorable fun but also, technically, reusable. It’s better for the environment to buy cards.

Also! I like the little implication that Raiden’s Mushu got Disney to make a spinoff series of the Mulan Mushu by accident. Grind never stops for the Mouse.