Work Smarter, Not Harder: Party Swapping Chapter 3 (Patreon)

The next day, Kazuma and Rin awoke to an overly familiar sound: an Explosion.

“Does she do this every day!?” Rin demanded, her nails digging into Kazuma’s bare skin as she clung to him. 

“Yes, actually. It’s her entire deal,” Kazuma said, enjoying the feeling of Rin’s bare flesh against his. “She’s the Explosion Loli.” 

“What, like, Lolisa? What does that mean?” Rin asked, peering through the thicket at the rising mushroom cloud. 

“Uh, it’s uh, basically…little girl?” Kazuma said, scratching his head. 

“Huh. Well, she is a manic little thing,” Rin said with a sigh. She stood up and stretched, then grinned down at Kazuma. “Enjoying the view, or just happy to see me?”

Blushing, Kazuma made to cover himself. “It’s, uh, just like that in the morning.”

“Well, normally I’d offer to do something about that but we should probably check to make sure everyone is still in one piece. Come on, let’s get dressed,” Rin said, and threw Kazuma’s shirt at his head before pulling on her own clothes. 

It wasn’t hard to find Megumin and Taylor, since they were sitting across from the giant crater with Aqua berating Megumin for waking her up. “You don’t have to get off an Explosion first thing in the morning, Megumin! Some of us are trying to SLEEP!” 

“The sun’s been up for half an hour, she gave you plenty of time,” Taylor said, sounding like a complete madman. 

“Yes, as they say, the early bird escapes the worm!” Megumin agreed, from where she was propped up on Taylor’s shoulder. 

“Come on man, it’s our day off,” Keith groaned, rubbing at his eyes. “My head hurts bad enough from my hangover, I didn’t need this…”

“Oh sorry, here. Heal! Cleanse Poison!” Aqua said, touching Keith’s arm and bathing him in blue light as the spells washed over him. 

Keith jerked like he’d just had a bucket of cold water dumped over his head, but then a slow grin spread over his face. “Hey, that does feel better. Thanks, Aqua. I, uh, don’t really remember last night, but…”

“That’s OK, I do. It was wonderful!” Aqua said brightly. 

All eyes turned to the two of them, with Kazuma’s jaw dropping open. “She sleeps next to me in a stable for months and we don’t even kiss, and they do that on their first date?!”

“Hmph. Well, don’t expect me to be such a loose woman, Taylor,” Megumin said, though she sounded more jealous than anything else. 

“It’s OK, Megumin, you can join too! I have plenty for everyone,” Aqua told her. 

“T-that’s not what I-” Megumin stammered until Aqua produced several familiar parchment forms. 

“You can all sign up to join the Axis Cult like Keith did!” 

“I did WHAT?!” Keith gasped, his hand clutching at his heart. “I…I didn’t think I was that drunk!” 

“Don’t worry, joining the Axis Cult comes with a ton of great perks! As a special bonus, I’ll even help you find a girlfriend and/or boyfriend, as all love is good in the sight of me!” Aqua declared. “Are you rich? Cecily has always wanted a rich boyfriend to pamper her.”

“If I were rich, do you think I would have become an Adventurer?” Keith asked sourly. Then he brightened. “You mean it about the girlfriend? Uh, hard pass on the boyfriend…”

“Of course! I have lots of adorable followers just as lonely as you are!” Aqua said brightly, though Keith flinched at that. 

“...she really does think she’s a goddess, doesn’t she?” Rin whispered to Kazuma, and it was his turn to flinch. 

“Uh, yeah,” he muttered, shifting uneasily. Rin gave him a suspicious look, so he coughed and looked around. “Hey, where’s Sir Pervert and Sir Dumbass?”

Rin snorted, then giggled and asked, “Which is which?” 

“Take your pick,” Kazuma said with a sigh. “Come on, let’s find them before they try and bait a manticore or something.” 

It didn’t take them long to find the Dust and Darkness, largely because they were very much not being quiet. 

“Darkness, Dust, are you finished or should we just abandon you in the wilderness?” Kazuma shouted at the meadow where the sounds of ardor were coming from. Rin was blushing, while Megumin’s face had gone even redder than her eyes. 

“WOO HOO! YOU GO DARKNESS!” Aqua called. “IF YOU JOIN THE AXIS CULT NOW I’LL BLESS YOUR CHILDREN!” 

“D-dust! There are a pair of voyeurs spying on us! T-this is mortifying!” Darkness squealed. 

“Oh, hell, uh, sorry, my Lady, I-”

“I did not say stop! Ah! Ah, K-Kazuma!”

“Oh hell no! I’m leaving,” Kazuma said, turning around. 

“Our clothes~! W-we, ah,  have n-nothing to-”

“Hey bro, you ah, see my shirt or something, toss it this way! Yeah, yeah you are a nasty-”

Kazuma had heard enough and turned away, the others scurrying after him, though Keith had to drag Aqua along. 

“What!? I didn’t even bless them yet!” Aqua complained. 

“So, uh, do we just leave them?” Rin asked, hurrying along beside Kazuma and looking rather embarrassed herself. 

“As much as I’d like to leave those two idiots, no,” Kazuma sighed. “Darkness is my friend, and well, I do hang out with Dust sometimes. Let’s go back to where we left those beginner’s banes.” 

The carcasses were quite ripe by this point, so Kazuma had Aqua hose them off and purify most of the corruption away, much to her annoyance. After that, he skinned the carcasses while Megumin and Taylor went to go fish crawdads, since none of them much wanted to eat hours old carrion. After skinning the beasts, Kazuma had Aqua help him tan the hides with a couple of spells, then he set about sewing a pair of fur outfits. 

“They’re both so damn tall, this is more work than it should be,” Kazuma complained as he worked with his needle and thread. He looked up to see Rin examining him with interest. “What?”

“Nothing, I just…you know how to craft clothing and process skins?” Rin asked, clearly curious. 

“...I had some spare points. Hides sell for more if you cure them yourself, and it’s annoying to have to take your socks or something to a tailor to darn them.”

“Kazuma fixes all our clothes!” Aqua said brightly from where she was making an elaborate headstone over where they’d buried the bones and offal. “He’s pretty good at sewing.”

“...think there’s enough fur for some clothes for me, too?” Rin asked innocently, batting her eyelashes at Kazuma.

He paused, then looked around at the fur. “Well, maybe not enough for a full robe, but yeah. Why?”

“Oh, no reason,” Rin said, tracing a lazy shape in the dirt with the tip of her finger. “I just thought that maybe you’d like to see your girlfriend model some fur clothes for you.”

Kazuma instantly re-evaluated the outfits he’d been making. He had just been going to sew a simple robe for both Darkness and Dust, but that would take up a lot of fur. “I can probably come up with something.”

Half an hour later, he tossed a bundle of fur clothes towards the meadow where Darkness and Dust were hiding behind a boulder, trying not to think about the interesting shapes they’d left in the grass and flowers. Apparently, Darkness liked to try a lot of different positions. 

“There you go, you exhibitionists! If you destroy these, I’m not making you more!” 

He turned back to Rin, who was holding up the first set of fur clothing he’d made her. “Seriously, Kazuma? A fur bikini?” 

“You didn’t say what kind of clothing you wanted, and you said you’d model it,” he pointed out. 

“Well, not right here. And I was more thinking a fur coat!” Rin said, shaking her head. 

“I’m also making you some leggings. And a sweater,” Kazuma offered, his expression neutral. 

“Is it a sexy sweater?” Rin teased, her eyes twinkling. 

“I could make it sexier,” Kazuma offered. 

Just then, Darkness called, “Um, K-Kazuma…are you sure this is all the clothing? There had to be more fur than this…” 

“The rest of it was needed for very important purposes,” Kazuma shouted back. “Be grateful I made you that!” 

“Eh, I like it!” Dust said, and strode out, wearing a fur speedo and vest. “What do you think?”

“Reminds me of that photoshoot you did with Kazuma,” Rin laughed, even as Dust flinched and Kazuma had to turn away in shame. 

“T-this is not the sort of shame I prefer,” Darkness muttered, stepping out herself.  Her clothes weren’t quite a fur bikini, but a fur leotard was still rather revealing on her. 

“Oh you did that on purpose,” Rin muttered, poking Kazuma. “She’s practically popping out of that thing.”

“I just wanted more for you. Besides, it’s funnier this way. She’s a hoity-toity noblewoman, and Dame Pervyness has to walk back to town in that? Maybe it will teach her not to go picking fights with giant monsters.”

The walk back to town was relaxing enough, with Kazuma blushing as Rin slipped her hand into his. Taylor was carrying the limp but not mute Megumin, while Keith looked uncomfortable as Aqua explained Axis “theology” to him. Dust and Darkness were deep in conversation out in front, carrying only their weapons. 

“You know, I’m surprised this worked out as well as it did,” Rin mused, glancing over at Megumin who was happily listing off her favorite places to cast Explosion, while the crusader listened thoughtfully. 

“Yeah, we only almost got eaten by man-eating tigers, got blown up twice, and Keith accidentally converted,” Kazuma said with a snort. 

“Hey, three out of four ain't bad! Besides, I had a fun time, didn’t you?” Rin asked. 

“Best night of my entire life,” Kazuma said instantly, then blushed. He hadn’t meant to be quite that honest. 

“Well, I suppose you don’t have that many to compare it to. We’ll have to try somewhere more romantic, next time. And more comfortable,” Rin said, making a face. “I think my butt permanently has a rock implanted in it.”

Kazuma tried to suppress a laugh but ended up giggling instead. “You didn’t seem to mind last night…”

“Yeah, well, next time, a bed,” Rin said firmly. “Or at least a nice thick carpet.”

When they got close enough to see Axel in the distance, Darkness scurried off to the mansion by taking the long way around, only stopping to awkwardly give Dust a kiss first. “We’ll talk more about her later. But I’m certain something can be done.”

Dust looked relieved and nodded, while Kazuma narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Was that bastard going to get a threesome? 

Still, when they got to the gate, he awkwardly held Rin’s hands. “So, uh, I guess I’ll see you later? Maybe tonight…?”

“Oh ho, so forward, inviting me over already? Well, I suppose you do have a big bed,” Rin chuckled. 

“Oh, er, I meant at the guild like usual, but, um, if you wanted to come over…”

Now it was Rin’s turn to blush. “Oh! Uh, I, um, well, you probably think I’m just a total slut…”

“No, it’s fine! Let’s uh, meet at the Guild, and ah, we’ll see what happens?” Kazuma offered. “After all, it would be real weird if I invited you over right after our-”

“Kazuma, I will be taking Megumin back to the Mansion to rest, she says I can have a spare room. I just wanted to check with you first. It would, ah, help my situation. I’ve been renting a room for myself, but it’s rather expensive,” Taylor said, coming over to Kazuma with a snoring Megumin on his back. 

“Aqua says I can stay over too, Taylor and I were rooming together before, but she says you’ve got plenty of rooms, so I can have my own, right? Are you moving in too, Rin? Weren’t you staying at a boarding house?” Keith interrupted. 

“...or everyone could just move into my house, it’s fine,” Kazuma said with a heavy sigh. “So much for privacy.”

“Why are you complaining, Kazuma?! It’s not like we don’t have lots of extra bedrooms,” Aqua demanded. 

Dust popped his head up, looking interested. “Free rooms? I’ve been sleeping in the jail or the alleyway, can I have a room too?”

“Sure, of course! Rooms for everyone! Rent free, why not!?” Kazuma spluttered. 

“So, do I get my own room too?” Rin asked innocently. 

Kazuma opened his mouth, then closed it, an evil grin spreading over his face. “No, you have to share. You can bunk with me, or Aqua. But I warn you, she snores.”

“I DO NOT! Goddesses do not snore!” Aqua protested. 

“Thanks, Kazuma, that really helps me out. I’ve been struggling to put aside any money at all,” Taylor said, looking relieved. “I don’t want to be an adventurer forever, and I need to save up some money to buy a farm.” 

“Yeah, fine, you’re welcome,” Kazuma agreed, as Rin poked at him. 

“You’re not supposed to just SAY that we’ll be sleeping together!” Rin hissed. 

“Woah, did you actually score with Rin last night, Kazuma? Nice! The three of us have been trying to get into her- OW! Taylor, what was THAT for?!” Dust demanded, rubbing the back of his head. 

“You and Keith might be lecherous louts, but I never had anything but a professional relationship with Rin,” Taylor said stoically. 

“Is that why you said she had nice legs and talked about what you would name your kids when you were drunk last month?” Keith asked innocently. 

“...I swear if I did not wish to let Megumin rest, I would make you pay for that.”

“Well, nobody can have MY room. It’s mine! That’s where all my stuff is. You all get your own,” Aqua huffed. 

They split up at that point, with Taylor heading straight for the mansion with the still-sleeping Megumin and Aqua, Keith going to their rented room to grab their meager possessions, and Kazuma going with Rin to retrieve her stuff. Dust mentioned “having an errand to run” and disappeared, which Kazuma assumed meant he was going to go find some booze. 

Rin’s boarding house turned out to be a bunk-style arrangement at a rickety place for female Adventurers. Her room had been tiny, and she’d shared it with three other ladies. Thankfully, none of them were there as she hastily grabbed her few belongings and threw them together in her blanket, which she tied up as a bundle. She really did only have two sets of clothing, along with a sewing kit, two books on magic, and a small portrait of her family. 

“Well, at least it makes moving easier,” Kazuma said, shifting the bag on his back. It wasn’t even that heavy, being mostly clothes. 

“I paid by the week, so I’m not even out much money for rent since it was due day after tomorrow,” Rin said. “Just a sec, I need to tell my landlady the bed’s free now. Mrs. Schwartz! Are you in?”

The landlady lived in a small room downstairs and was a hatchet-nosed older woman with gray hair and arms bigger than Kazuma’s. “Rin, we missed you at breakfast. I can give you supper instead, but it will cost you- ah. And who is this?”

“Uh, Kazuma Sato. My er, boyfriend,” Rin said, motioning to Kazuma.

“Yo,” he said, giving a nod to the woman. 

“Kazuma…you’re that boy all the girls call Scumzuma, aren’t you?” Mrs. Schwartz said, her eyes narrowing. 

“That could be anyone,” Kazuma said innocently. 

“No, they definitely described a dark-haired, green-eyed boy who kept stealing people’s panties,” Mrs. Schwartz said, folding her arms over her chest and glaring at him. 

“He, uh, has a mansion. I’m moving in with him,” Rin said hastily. “Our parties are sort of…combining.”

That made Mrs. Schwartz’s eyes light up. “I see. Wait, you are the same boy who defeated that general of the Devil King, aren’t you?”

“Three, actually. Beldia, Hanz, and Sylvia,” Kazuma said testily. You’d think people would be more grateful. “And it was my party that led the defense against the Destroyer.”

“Three generals and the Destroyer…pretty big bounties on those,” Mrs. Schwartz mused. She nodded. “Rin will make you a good wife. She’s a smart girl, very responsible. Always paid her rent on time, never caused any trouble. Good cook too, you won’t be skinny with her.”

“M-Mrs. Schwartz! We, we just went on one date and decided to go questing together!” Rin said desperately, going very red in the face. 

Mrs. Schwartz gave her a knowing look. “I’m sure, dear. Just make sure to grip with your legs. Don’t let this one slide out on you.”

“L-let’s just go, Kazuma,” Rin said, turning away and looking mortified. She scurried out of the room, and Kazuma hastened after her. 

“So, uh, when she said grip with your legs…”

“Kazuma…”

“Did she mean, er, not to let me pull out? Because, uh, I have this invention called the condom, and I can probably make a few more.”

Rin paused, then slowly turned to Kazuma. “I know what a condom is. You make it with pig intestine, but it’s not the most reliable. And yes, she was telling me to-”

“Pig’s intestines?!” Kazuma recoiled, disgusted. “I made mine out of a special tree sap that was like latex!”

“Oh? Did they work?” Rin asked curiously.

“Uh, I don’t know. The girls thought they were balloons, and I, uh, I didn’t have the heart to tell them,” Kazuma admitted. 

“Well, maybe we can find out. Ugh, is everyone going to think I’m a gold digger,” Rin muttered, hugging herself and looking frustrated.

“If they ask, tell them I hired you as an additional cat herder for the morons in my party, but you tricked me into adopting the cats in yours,” Kazuma told her. 

Rin cackled at that, looking much relieved. “You know, it really did feel like I was those idiots' mother more often than not. Taylor’s not so bad, but he’s so damn stolid and has zero imagination. You know, I did try flirting with him, but he just acted so damn professional I thought he must have been gay until I saw him glancing down Luna’s shirt when we turned in quests.”

“Look, I’m a strong man, but I don’t think any man can withstand that temptation,” Kazuma said seriously. 

“That is NOT the sort of thing you say to your new girlfriend, Kazuma. I’d be more offended if I didn’t do the same thing. Seriously, even I’ve caught myself staring at her. Darkness too, it has to be uncomfortable for her whenever she runs, because if she doesn’t bind herself she’d give herself a black eye.”

“Honestly she’d probably be into it,” Kazuma said with a shake of his head. “She’s sexy and all, but her personality…she’s a 10 from a distance and a big fat NOPE when you get closer.”

Rin was quiet for a moment, glancing over at Kazuma. Then she asked in a small voice, “And what about me?” 

“Well, I always thought you were cute, but I realized I was wrong,” Kazuma said. Rin looked suddenly murderous, so he hastily added, “You’re actually completely gorgeous, 10/10.” 

“You just barely avoided me kicking you out of your own mansion there, mister. But you saved yourself at the last moment,” Rin laughed. 

Back at the mansion, Rin paused at the door. “So, uh, if I did want my own room…?”

Kazuma felt disappointed at that but nodded. “We’ve got plenty. There’s one next to mine, or on the second or even third floor if you want a loft.”

“Let’s go with the one next to yours. Just, you know, in case,” Rin said, biting her lip. “Thanks, I just…maybe we are moving a little fast, you know?”

 “Yeah, sure,” Kazuma said, feeling like there was a lead weight in his stomach. 

The rest of the day was spent getting everyone settled in. After that was dinner, which Kazuma and Rin threw together from whatever ingredients they had laying around. 

At the table, Taylor stolidly insisted that he and Keith room together to the other man’s disgust. “It’s not right we take two rooms. Besides, I wouldn’t want to, er, impinge on Megumin’s virtue. I want her father to know I am an honorable man…”

“Ah come on, man! Rin and Dust get their own rooms!” Keith protested. “Why do I gotta bunk with you again!?” 

“There are two beds. And Rin is a lady, and thus gets her own room. As for Dust, do you really want to bunk with him?” Taylor demanded. 

“Uh, maybe not,” Keith admitted. “Fiiine.”

“You should be grateful for my generosity!” Megumin piped up, having awoken from her nap full of her usual vim and vigor. 

“YOUR generosity!? It’s MY mansion!” Kazuma protested. 

“I believe you will find this mansion was awarded to our party, and thus, my spoils as well!” Megumin sniffed. 

“I think it’s mine, because I’m the one who purified it!” Aqua argued. 

“You’re the reason this place was haunted in the first place!” Kazuma pointed out. 

Dust turned to Darkness, a confused look on his face. “I thought this was your place.” 

“Ah, no, we do have a small estate outside town, but, er, I moved in here. I…I prefer the company of my friends to that of servants,” Darkness admitted. 

“Oh! Oh shit, you earned this place legit, like a proper warrior!” Dust’s face bloomed into a smile. “Nice one! I knew there was a reason I thought you were sexy! I mean, aside from your giant boobs.”

Rin half choked on her drink, then turned to him aghast. “DUST!” 

“What? We’re like, private and stuff with friends. I know better than to spout off like that in public,” Dust said with a shrug.

“I-I do not mind such behavior in private, with friends,” Darkness admitted. “But, ah, perhaps not in more delicate company…”

Dust instantly sat up straight, a serious look on his face. He’d just changed his posture, but it was like he was a completely different guy. “Of course, my lady, forgive me. I shall endeavor not to dishonor house Dustiness.”

Darkness put her head in her hands as Rin, Taylor, and Keith’s jaws all dropped. “DUSTINESS?!”

“M-my Lady, ah, f-forgive me,” Rin stammered, struggling out of her chair to try and curtsy. “I-I did not know!” 

“Dust, you are so dead. We need to run to the next town. No, the next KINGDOM. Do you have any idea what they’ll do to you when they find out you slept with her?!” Keith demanded. “She’s the King’s NIECE!” 

“Wait, THAT’S who Uncle Melark is?” Kazuma asked, gobsmacked. “No wonder Iris knows you so well! You’re her cousin!? I thought she just called you that like she calls me Big Bro!” 

“Kazuma, how could you not know this? She told us she was of House Dustiness some time ago,” Megumin said with a frown. She looked at the others. “You knew her name was Lalatina.”

“I don’t know the names of all the nobles!” Keith hissed. He frowned. “Wait, Iris, why is that name so familiar…?”

“Because that’s the name of the princess,” Taylor said, looking a bit pale. He glanced at Megumin. “Uh, do you know her Highness?”

“She calls me Big Sis,” Megumin said smugly. “We’re both members of the Silver Masked Thieves. I have some of her letters up in my room.”

“Will you guys stop acting like this is a big deal? You’re embarrassing Darkness. She’s under the hat or whatever,” Kazuma said.

“Helm,” Darkness groaned, peeking between her fingers at Kazuma. 

“Well, just so you guys know, I’m a noble too,” Dust said seriously. “My name is actually Rein Chelka.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment before Megumin glanced at Darkness. “Uh, do you know who that is?”

“I do,” Darkness said, slowly lowering her hands. “Chelka is a knightly house of Bryndle.”

“You, uh, probably haven’t heard of it. We were pretty minor before, uh, well, I sort of got stripped of my rank,” Dust admitted. 

“For unjust reasons,” Darkness said firmly. “I have already sent a letter to father, and he will discuss it with the Bryndle Ambassador. At the very least, you will know if she is well.”

“And…and your father is Duke Dustiness?” Rin asked, trembling slightly as Kazuma helped her back into her chair. 

“My father is Duke Ignis Ford Dustiness, yes,” Darkness said, sounding very weary. “But please, set that aside. You…you had to know…I was of noble stock.”

“There’s a bit of a difference between some baron’s daughter feeling her wild oats and a ducal heir!” Keith spluttered. 

“I don’t know why you’re all making such a big deal out of this, Darkness is Darkness! She’s our friend, and that’s what matters,” Aqua said, taking a swig of wine. “Ah! That’s the stuff! Thanks for dinner, Kazuma. Not it!” 

“Not it!” Megumin cried instantly, and a moment later, Darkness added, “Not it.”

“Not it?” Dust said, looking confused. 

“That means Taylor and Keith do the dishes!” Aqua said happily. “I’ll make a new chore rotation so you guys know what to do. This means I don’t have to clean the toilets every day now!” 

“What!? This is totally unfair!” Keith spluttered. 

“We would be happy to,” Taylor said with a nod. “Though if someone could show us where the dishes go, that might save some confusion later.” 

“Go?” Aqua asked, looking confused. 

“I just stick them wherever,” Megumin said with a shrug. 

Darkness let out a heavy sigh and stood. “I will show you. I have a system, but no one ever seems to follow it.”

“I, I would not conceive of making you do the dishes with us, Lady Dustiness,” Taylor stammered. 

“Good, because I am Darkness the Crusader at the moment,” she told him. “Now come. If someone else will finally put the dishes where they should go, that alone would be worth having you move in.”

After that, Kazuma got out his needle and thread and set to work on finishing the furs for Rin, who sat next to him on the carpet, watching with interest. “You really are good at that. I can darn a sock or mend a tear, but you could get a job as a tailor.” 

“I guess. Sounds boring though. Work all day for a pittance, having to do what people tell you. No thanks,” Kazuma said, keeping his eyes on the stitching.

“Yeah, that’s why I became an adventurer. Getting a job teleporting people all day or sending long-distance messages at the post office…no thanks,” Rin said with a shudder. “I’d die from sheer lack of excitement.” 

“Yeah, being an Adventurer sucks though. The pay is crap, you get chased by dangerous monsters, and you get no respect from anyone!” Kazuma complained. 

“Ugh, tell me about it!” Rin agreed with a dramatic sigh. “We took a quest to clear these goblins out of a farmers field, and all he did was complain about how long it took and the fact I singed some of his mackerel. It was the fish or me! He even tried to deduct the cost from our pay!” 

They swapped stories of minor annoyances for an hour or two, until Kazuma finished up the furs. He held them up, admiring his work. The Beginner’s Bane fur was actually a joy to work with: Soft and supple, but also very durable. He’d made a crop top sweater and a pair of leggings that would really cling to Rin, but also had a spot for her tail to poke out the back. 

“Ooo, it’s pretty,” Rin said, leaning over Kazuma with her hands on his lap, her tail wagging excitedly. 

“Well, it’s for you,” Kazuma said, and offered her the furs. 

She reached for them, then hesitated. “Kazuma…you know these are worth a lot of eris…”

“So?” he said. “I’d rather see how they look on you then sell them.”

Rin took the furs, but glanced at him. “Kazuma, this much Bane fur, tailored like this…it’s worth at least 300,000.” 

That was enough of a sum to make Kazuma’s heart skip a beat, but he swallowed. “I think seeing you in them is worth at least 3,000,000.” 

She laughed and slapped his leg lightly, but stood. “That’s a sweet answer, but seriously, people are going to think I’m such a gold digger…”

A flash of irritation hit Kazuma. Why did she keep bringing that up? “Well, screw them! You’re the only woman who’s even shown any interest in me, and you’re cute, smart, and sexy! I was flat ass broke a year ago, and you bought me a beer then when we came back from that godawful quest where Megumin blew up an entire swamp all over us. And I’d bet that beer was a bigger percentage of what you had than 300,000 would be to me, so if anything, I’m the gold digger!” 

Tears filled Rin’s eyes, and she leaned down to kiss Kazuma. “Thank you. That beer was pretty expensive…so I guess I can repay you with a look at my 3,000,000 eris ass.”

Kazuma grinned, and watched eagerly as Rin sashayed away, putting a little extra swish in her tail. She paused at the door, turning to say, “Wait in your room. I wouldn’t want us to be…interrupted.”

Heart beating like a stampede, Kazuma hurried to his room, where he nervously sat on his bed, fidgeting as his imagination ran wild. Part of him was thinking of how sexy Rin would look in furs, but the other part of him was considering what she was thinking of him. Was she just after his money? Had he screwed this up somehow? Had he failed as a man the night before? 

The door to his room suddenly swung open, and Kazuma’s breath caught in his throat. Was it Rin? Megumin? God forbid, Dust come to see if he had any booze? 

Instead, a long, slender, pale leg swung into view, resting high up on the door frame. Kazuma’s heart started racing again, and he felt himself flush as an arm followed the leg, working its way up the doorframe, a thin black fur sleeve on it. Then Rin peeked her head in and grinned. She’d taken her hair out of its usual ponytail, and it hung loose about her shoulders now. She winked at Kazuma, before sliding into his room, her leg still high up on the doorframe. 

“Someone,” she purred. “Made only half a sweater. I don’t know if I should be upset, or flattered.”

Kazuma couldn’t take his eyes off her, especially her belly button, which was framed by the black leggings and the half sweater Kazuma had made. “Uh, it looks like the perfect sweater to me.”

“That means,” Rin said, sashaying towards Kazuma, her back arched and tail swishing back and forth. “That you’re either an idiot who doesn’t know what a sweater looks like, orrrrr…”

She leaned in close to him, putting her lips next to Kazuma’s ear. “Irredeemably horny.” 

“It…could be both?” Kazuma rasped, feeling light-headed.

“Hmmm,” Rin said, leaning back and looking down at herself. She walked over to Kazuma’s full length mirror, and did a little dance in a circle to examine herself. “Well, you could just be a perverted moron, but I do look really good in this.”

“Yeah,” Kazuma agreed, his mind unable to process more.

Rin turned around and frowned at him. “Kazuma, I’m disappointed.”

“Huh? Is it not comfortable?” Kazuma stammered, his mind still very preoccupied. 

“No, I mean, that’s a really easy line. You’re supposed to say, ‘you’d look better naked’ or something like that,” Rin said, blushing herself. 

“Oh, uh, well, maybe, but you do look super hot. I’m so glad I took tailoring,” Kazuma babbled. “I mean, uh, I do like to see you naked, I just, er-”

Rin laughed and came back over to the bed, sitting next to Kazuma. She leaned in close, and he reflexively put his arms around her, drawing her nearer still. “You’re a doofus, Kazuma. But you’re sweet. I think I like that. And you know something?”

“Uh, what?” 

“I think I’m pretty irredeemably horny too,” Rin whispered, setting her hand on Kazuma’s bulging crotch. 

“Yeah,” Kazuma said. Then, lacking any other further words, he kissed Rin, and she enthusiastically returned it.

“Let’s see if you do look better naked,” he managed, and pushed her back onto the bed, climbing atop her. She reached up, undoing his trousers, then pulling his shirt over his head as he slid her out of the sweater. She was wearing the fur bikini underneath, which he supposed also made decent enough underwear.  Getting her out of the leggings was frustrating, as they clung and were rather tight, so he eventually just cried, “STEAL!” until he’d gotten all her clothes off. Unfortunately, she started snorting and laughing as he did so, his own pants only down to his ankles. 

“That’s cheating! It tingles, you know! How would you like it if I did that to you?”

“I dunno, could I do this afterward?” Kazuma asked, and moved his head down to kiss Rin between her legs, where she was already quite ready for his ministrations.

 She groaned and pulled him closer, wrapping her legs about him. After a few minutes though, she cried, “Kazuma, I need you! I want you! Get your damn pants off!” 

He eagerly complied, then slid up, kissing her again as he pushed into her with her eager assistance. 

“Slowly,” she whispered. “Slowly. I want to savor this…ah! Yesssss, like that!”

She clung to him, both of them groaning together as they moved against one another. Rin nipped at Kazuma’s ear, then said, “I think I will lock my legs. I want…mmm, I want it all, Kazuma.”

“Then I’ll give it to you!” he groaned, and thrust harder as she bucked against him. He didn’t last much longer after that, but she kept her legs wrapped about him even after he was furnished pumping against her, the two of them laying in the tangled bedsheets and holding one another. 

“I could…get used to this,” Rin sighed, finally loosening her grip. She kissed Kazuma again. 

He sighed and rolled off her, and the two of them cuddled for a time. 

“You could…spend the night,” Kazuma said, stroking Rin’s tail gently. 

“Mmm. I think I made it pretty clear that’s what I was doing,” Rin sighed. 

“Oh, well, I know you wanted your own room and all…”

“Yeah I just… I dunno. We’ve known each other for a while, but I thought…maybe if I needed some space…but I don’t think I really want that. Not tonight,” Rin murmured. “Tonight, I want to be with you.”

“And in the morning?” Kazuma asked. “What do we tell the others?”

“To mind their own damn business, but we’re screwing like raccoons and it’s great, thanks for asking,” Rin tittered. 

“I thought it was like rabbits,” Kazuma said, frowning. 

“I’m not a rabbit though, I’m a trash panda,” Rin said, and rolled over, then up and on to Kazuma. “I thought…yes. Something was poking me. Round 2 already?”

“Uh, yes please,” Kazuma said, then groaned as Rin lifted herself up and onto him. 

“Hmm, yessss, buck a little, I want to ride you like a-AH! Yes! Like that!” 

Kazuma lasted longer that time, and by the time they were done Rin was panting and sweaty, and Kazuma had swung her off him, finishing off by riding her in turn. After that, both of them collapsed into one another’s arms and passed out from sheer exhaustion. 

When Kazuma came to, daylight was already streaming in through the window. Rin was snoring softly at his side, which surprised him. He’d have thought she was an early riser. He was content to just lay beside her, holding her tight, until she finally stirred. 

“Mmm, morning,” she yawned, stretching like a cat. She blinked at him and smiled. “Wow. This bed is amazing. Real feathers, not a straw pallet like I’m used to. I think I could sleep here every night.”

“You mean it? You uh, want to stay?” Kazuma asked, feeling silly for how earnest and hopeful he sounded. 

“Mmm, I don’t know that I’m ready to marry you just yet, but feed me breakfast and I just might be,” Rin said with a grin. “I’m starving.”

“Yeah, I think I could use a bath first,” Kazuma said, frowning at himself. “We’re, uh…”

“Oh, yeah, uh, I guess we kinda did make a mess. Well, guess we need to do laundry. Say, you don’t have a bath here, do you?” Rin asked eagerly. 

“As a matter of fact, we do. Come on,” Kazuma said, and grabbing a change of clothes and some towels, the two of them headed giggling to the baths. They ended up being very late for breakfast.