The Last Drop of Hope, Chapter 31 (Patreon)

Holding her breath and clutching her shank, Tina watched as Walter walked slowly forward, then gently set a hand on the flabby shoulder of his snoring father. Gently, he shook his shoulder, whispering, “Father? It’s me, I need you to wake up.”

The only response was a loud, throbbing snore. After a few moments, gentle shaking became shouting and smacking, but Alderp slept through it all, still snoring like an engine with a blown regulator. 

Eventually, Tina gave up and went to the bathroom and got a glass of cold water, then came back and poured it all over Alderp’s face. He just farted and rolled over. 

“What does it take to wake this man up?!” Tina demanded, glaring at Alderp’s still snoring body. She turned to Rain, who was fidgeting nervously. “Do you know anything about the Sleep spell?”

“Well, not really, I just took it because it sounded useful,” Rain admitted. 

Claire glanced down at Alderp, then walked up and plunged her shank into his leg in a spray of blood.

“YAAAAAH!” Alderp screamed, sitting bolt upright in bed, the shank still embedded in his leg. 

Sighing, Tina grabbed Alderp by the jaw and pulled his face close to hers. “Listen to me very carefully. Do not scream. Do not attempt to flee. If you do, I will-”

“MAXWELL! MAXWELL, YOUR MASTER-”

With a sigh, Tina let Alderp’s jaw go, then slammed her fist into his temple. He immediately went limp, and flopped back onto the bed.

A moment later, Tina heard out in the hall, “Hmm, did someone call for me?”

“Um, yes!” Cecily’s voice said brightly. “We need, uh, oysters. And, um…viagra. Yes. See, uh, you know, three young ladies, one old man…gotta get to work on the heir, right? Poor guy’s a little tuckered out from all the action.”

“Hmm, oysters…those might be a tad hard to come by. And this…Viagra…I’m not quite certain what it is…but I take it that it is some sort of fertility enhancement?” Maxwell inquired politely. Cecily must have indicated an affirmative, because he laughed and said, “Well, it’s good that Alderp is being so fastidious in fulfilling our contract! Very well, I shall return shortly.”

There was a pop, followed by the acrid stench of sulfur, and a moment later Cecily poked her head in. “He’s gone! Whatever we’re gonna do, we gotta do FAST.”

Tina hurried to the bathroom and got another glass of water, then dumped it over Alderp, who sputtered awake. “How dare you-”

“Listen,” Tina growled, pulling Alderp up. “We know about Maxwell. We know he’s a chipped demon. What we want to know is how you got your hands on a Duke of Hell, and what you want. You can either talk to me, or I can turn you over to Claire, and she can help loosen your tongue.” 

Instead of whimpering like Tina had expected, Alderp gave her a bloody smile. “You have no idea who and what you’re dealing with, do you? You poor, pathetic fools. A power you have no concept of has reawakened! This world will be reforged, and I shall be one of its new masters! Threaten my physical form all you wish, but I cannot be stopped or killed!” 

“Well, father. I had hoped these ladies were mistaken. But it seems they had your number, alright.” Walter said, and Alderp’s head snapped around to where his son, or rather, clone, stood. 

“Walter! Thank goodness you’re here!” Alderp cried. “Get these harlots off me! Look, they’ve stabbed me and abused me! We have to work quickly to-”

“To what? You’re willing to sell your first born child. Who else would you be willing to sell out? My men? Me?” Walter demanded hotly, stepping closer to his father. 

Alderp shook his head angrily. “You have no idea what’s at stake here, boy! Not just the fate of the world, but immortality itself! Failure means you die with the rest of the worthless chattel, while success means eternal life as a prince, a king! Is not such a prize worth any price?”

“Not the lives of my men!” Walter barked, and pointed at Tina and Claire. “Which they are! I can understand using people. We have little enough other resources. But we protect our own, and we reward loyalty! Who the hell wants to live forever in a barren wasteland?!”

“There are other worlds, Walter. Other realms to rule. This one is almost used up. Can't you tell? There are powers you cannot even BEGIN to imagine at play here! You think Belzerg matters? That human lives have any value? Nothing but pieces on a cosmic chessboard of a game that finished long ago! We can either move to the new board as players or get tossed in the trash like the rest of the broken pieces!” 

“And this is why you had Maxwell chipped?!” Walter demanded. “To use him in some sort of bizarre ritual?!”

At that, Alderp chuckled darkly. “You have no idea who the players in this game even are, do you? Well, if you’re very fortunate, perhaps I’ll bring you along. Now, SUBMIT.”

Tina rocked back on her heels, but Walter and Claire both cried out in pain, falling to the ground and moaning. 

Cacking, Alderp grabbed the shank out of his leg and yanked it out, and to Tina’s horror, the wound began to knit itself shut. “Medical nanites, son! They activate in response to physical trauma!  Now, each of you will serve me and-”

This time, Tina delivered her blow straight to Alderp’s nose, as hard as she could, and heard the satisfying crunch of cartilage and bone. This time, Alderp was flung backwards into the wall, and his head rang off the headboard, but Tina caught him on the rebound, then hoisted the fat bastard by the neck and swung him around, slamming him into the wall as his feet dangled off the ground. 

Alderp gurgled piteously, but Tina ignored him. “You will find your tricks do not work on me, Alderp. I am a Crusader of Lady Aqua. And not your toy. Now. Where is the chip?”

“Buck oo, ‘itch,” Alderp gurgled, little bubbles blowing in the blood that coated his face. So Tina dragged him to the sink, which she turned on and plugged. 

“Ub’and ‘e! ‘En ‘axwell-”

Sink sufficiently full, Tina gritted her teeth, and shoved Alderp’s face into it, submerging his mouth and nose. 

“Did you know, you can drown in only an inch of water?” she said conversationally as Alderp’s chubby arms and legs flailed wildly. “It doesn’t take much.”

After ten seconds, she jerked Alderp up by the back of his head and snarled, “Where is the chip? How did you mind control Maxwell?” 

“I don’t know!” Alderp snarled, his nose slowly popping back out of his face. “I got him from my friends! Powerful friends and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll-”

Tina just shoved his face back into the sink, splashing pink water everywhere as Alderp flailed again. She’d never used the “enhanced interrogation” techniques they taught in the Security Course before, but this seemed like the sort of time to use it. She had found in the past that sweet words, empathy, and a little food got you more information than beatings, but desperate times called for desperate measures. 

She yanked Alderp back up after 15 seconds this time, the fat man blowing like a beached whale. “Who has the chip? What is your plan with Maxwell?”

“S-Seresdina, CEO of the Church of Revenge, you fool! You hurt me, and the Revengers will get you,” Alderp gasped. 

That just mildly amused Tina. “I am already at war with the false Church. Didn’t you hear me? I serve Aqua.”

“You’re a fool! What can she offer you? I’m not just going to use Maxwell, I’m going to take over the Church too! Once I complete that idiot's contract, I’ll swap bodies with him! The moron didn’t even read the fine print! I’ll become a Duke of Hell, and he will be the worthless mortal, not me! But that’s the use of a chip! I can edit the bastard’s memories, and he has to do what I said! I forged that contract! And when I order him to-”

“Order me to do what, exactly? ‘Master.’”

Alderp and Tina both froze, slowly turning to see Maxwell carrying a tray of steaming oysters in one hand, and gripping Cecily by her throat with the other. “You see, I had just caught this Axis rat, and was planning on sodomizing her to death. Always amusing with the pleasure cultists. But what’s this about a false contract? I am…very interested…in the answer.”

“She…she tricked me! She’s an Axis Cultist too!” Alderp accused, pointing a trembling hand at Tina. 

“Oh? Truly? Two Axis Cultists. And yet, they should be extinct, from what I can remember,” Maxwell said, then shook his head. “Ah, but sir, you attempt to prevaricate. What is this about the contract?”

“I, well, you signed one with me. The soul of my first born, in exchange for immortality,” Alderp said nervously. 

“Hmm, interesting. You seem immortal already,” Tina mused. She glanced at Maxwell. “If you set down Cecily, I can demonstrate.”

Maxwell considered that, then opened his hand, dropping Cecily to the ground like a discarded sack of rubbish. “Very well. Please, do demonstrate.”

“Wait, no don’t-!”

Tina used her open palm this time to shove Maxwell’s nose up into his skull. It was a killing blow, with her enhanced strength. Then she dropped the twitching bastard to the ground. 

“Hmm, if I did have a contract with him, I shall have to kill you,” Maxwell mused. “Not that I planned on letting you live anyway, mind. I make it a point of professional pride to kill every Axis Cultist I find. Returning the favor, you see.”

“Right,” Tina said, swallowing nervously. She wondered if she were strong enough to take on Maxwell the Adjuster, but the very presence of the demon duke told her that was unlikely. 

Just then, Alderp coughed and sat up, his wounds knitting. “Maxwell, I can explain…”

“You’re chipped,” Tina said bluntly. “He’s lying to you and manipulating you. He said he was going to force you to swap bodies with him, and become a Duke of Hell himself.”

“Hmmm…” Maxwell produced some parchment in a crackle of black flames, and adjusted his glasses, frowning as he read. After a moment, he looked down at Alderp, his lips pressed into a thin line. “So this contract says. It even has my signature on it. This is most…distressing.”

“So, where’s the chip?” Tina demanded, kicking Alderp. 

“Damn you,” Alderp hissed. “He took weeks to condition!” 

“Oh?” Maxwell adjusted his glasses. “Do tell me more.”

“Override: Adjust the Adjuster,” Alderp barked, and Maxwell froze. “Maxwell! Kill the girl.”

“Yes, Master,” Maxwell said, his tone dull and listless. He moved towards Tina like lightning, driving a stiffened hand into her abdomen. 

The breath rushed from Tina’s body, but she stumbled back only a few steps. Then she swung a haymaker at Maxwell’s head. In the last instant, the demon actually looked surprised. Then Tina sent him slamming into the bathroom wall, where he shattered the expensive tile as his head cracked into it, and his glasses shattered. 

Clasping her hands together, Tina swung both of them at Maxwell’s head. This time, however, he moved like a snake, dodging her blow and ramming a palm into her chin. Tina was lifted off the ground, her head rebounding off the ceiling before she crashed into the floor, her vision swimming. 

Instead of pain, however, she felt…excitement. Joy. And…pleasure. She’d always gotten a rush in combat, and enjoyed sparring sessions, especially with Claire. But the new strength her body had, combined with her blessings…this was downright orgasmic. 

“Any last words?” Alderp sneered, staggering away from Tina as Maxwell stepped forward, his hands formed into killing knife blades.

“More,” Tina snarled, and kicked both feet into Maxwell. He let out his breath a whoosh and staggered back.

“What…High Noble? An…Axis Crusader?” Maxwell asked, cocking his head to one side. Then he slowly turned towards Aldper. “I remember something about-”

“Override: Adjust the Adjuster! KILL HER!” Alderp snarled, pointing at Tina. 

Maxwell darted forward as Tina tried to rise, on hand chopping the back of her neck and the other slamming into her temple. She grounded, then shouted in shock as she was driven through the floor and into the level below. She tried to get up, but Maxwell jumped down, his expression blank. Tina tried to fight back, but he kicked her in the head, sending her through a wall in an explosion of plastic and plaster. 

As she tried to get up, dazed and bruised, a new voice shouted: “Adjust the Adjuster! Maxwell, do not kill Tina Ford!” 

Maxwell instantly locked up, a confused expression on his face. “What? Who is-”

“No!” Alderp cried. “You have to-” he cut off with a gurgle, and Walter’s voice repeated, “Do not kill Tina! Cease combat immediately!”

“I…” Maxwell slowly straightened, a frown on his face. “Yes, Master.”

Tina blinked stupidly, then staggered over to the hole and looked up, shouting, “Walter? What’s happening?”

Walter’s worried face appeared alongside Rain’s. “Miss Rain got me up. Tina, did he stop?”

“Ah, yes, he’s just standing there now,” Tina said, shuddering slightly. She’d never had a beating like that. So why did it feel so wonderful?

“Walter’s a clone!” Rain said excitedly. “His voice print must be close enough that Maxwell’s chip recognizes the command code from him! We don’t need the chip, we just need Walter to get Maxwell to do what we want!” 

“Ah,” Tina considered that, then frowned up at Rain. “Do you think…we could write a new contract?”

“Contract? But I already have one, I’m afraid,” Maxwell’s voice said from next to Tina, and she nearly jumped out of her skin. 

“New terms,” Walter said hastily. “I’m not offering my first born. Instead… how about my father?”

“That’s not nearly as valuable as an infant’s soul. Do you have any idea how rare and valuable those are from Belzerg these days?” Maxwell demanded, aghast.

“True, but what about instead of immortality, you just, er, grant me a favor some time, and we’ll call it even,” Walter offered hastily. 

Maxwell shook his head. “I’m afraid I can’t-”

“A favor to help us take down Seresdina and the Church of Revenge, who chipped you and stole your mind,” Rain added quickly. “And, to sweeten it, his father is the man who forged a false contract with you.”

Maxwell instantly went stony again. “False…contract?”

“Take it from an Axis Crusader, one who does not lie,” Darkness said, wiping blood from her lips with the back of her hand. “Alderp has kept you imprisoned, as have the Revengers. They wiped your mind and exploited you.”

“Why should I trust the Axis Cult?” Maxwell sneered. Then he paused, and slowly felt the back of his head. “Chipped…Seresdina…I remember…hmm. And a bad contract, you say?”

Tina nodded. “On my honor as a Crusader.”

“Oh, a fine joke, that,” Maxwell chuckled. Then he looked up at Walter’s pale face. “So. Where is your father?”

“Right here, just come up and claim him,” Walter said.

“Very good,” Maxwell purred, flicking his hands out, and pulling a new pair of spectacles from thin air with a hiss of flames. “I find your offer…acceptable. Consider this a verbal contract. His soul, for one favor.”

“And you can’t hurt any of us until that favor is granted,” Rain added hastily. “Myself, Claire, Tina, Cecily, and Walter.”

“Very well,” Maxwell chuckled. “But only until after the favor, mind. 

Yes, good enough for now,” Maxwell purred, tugging on a clean set of gloves. “Now…the soul.”

Tina staggered up the stairs following Maxwell, as Walter and Rain dragged Claire and Cecily out of the room, both of them much the worse for wear. 

Alderp was tied up and gagged, his eyes wide with fear as he struggled against his bonds. 

“Ah, yes, I think I remember now. You were controlling me, and these holes in my mind…you put them there, didn’t you? Tsk, tsk. Trying to renege on a contract with Hell’s Adjuster? A most foolish move,” Maxwell chuckled. “You wished to be a demon? Very well. I knew just the place for you.”

Alderp tried to scream, but Maxwell grabbed him and tucked the fat man under one arm. “My card, dear customers. We will meet again. But I warn you: Do not attempt to edit my mind as this fool has. Demons have long memories, and I assure you, any malady on my part is only temporary. But my time with those who break contracts with me? Why that…that lasts forever!”

He drew a white gloved finger under Alderp’s chin, and the supposed president moaned and wet himself. 

“We’re going to have such fun together. But you won’t be needing your tongue, I fear. Removing that and sewing your mouth shut will be our first little game,” Maxwell laughed. Then he wagged his fingers at Tina. “And we’ll be seeing each other again, little Crusader. I have a bone to pick with you as well.” 

Then with a snap of his fingers, a fiery pit opened, and Maxwell hopped into it, still carrying Alderp. “Toodleoo!” 

A blast of heat followed, then the portal shut itself. Tina sagged, then hurried over to Claire. She was breathing, but not in good shape.

“Picked…picked a fight with that butler guy,” she slurred, her eyes unfocused. “Not…not my best idea.”

“Why don’t you let me take the hits from now on,” Tina said, hugging Claire tightly. 

For now, they’d survived. But now they had bigger problems: If the Revengers really were in on this…things were about to get a lot more complicated.