Dark Legend of Potter, Chapter 62 (Patreon)

Frowning sourly, Snape glanced at the documents in his hands, then up at the sheepish grin of the fool in front of him. It wasn’t often someone played into Snape’s hands like this, but given the opportunity to finally gain his revenge and at long last, see that justice was delivered after all this time. 

“Thanks again for agreeing to take my class, Severus. If you ever need me to cover classes for you, or there is any other way I can be of assistance-”

“No, I am simply doing what any reasonable staff member would,” Snape said, giving Lupin a frosty smile. He didn’t add, After being directed to do so by the Headmaster under threat of taking all of Potter’s detention for the year if I did not. 

“Well, regardless, thank you. I’ve mostly managed my condition these days, but I don’t want there to be any possible room for error here. I’ll be spending the afternoon of the 30th and the morning of the 1st in the Shrieking Shack,” Lupin said. He lifted up a vial of potion and gave Snape a grateful smile. “And thanks for this. Normally I don’t take Wolfsbane, but I also don’t normally have access to the most skilled potioneer in Great Britain.”

Snape snorted derisively. “Any moderately skilled potions master could make a Wolfsbane Potion.”

By which Snape meant, “there are perhaps ten individuals in Great Britain who could make a Wolfsbane potion, and I’m insulted you don’t think I’m the best in the world.” 

“Well, I suppose I could ask Potter to do it, but I’m half afraid she’d come up with a potion that turned anyone who drank it into a werewolf,” Lupin joked. He frowned, peering at Snape. “Severus? Are you quite alright? If you feel ill, I could ask Professor McGonagall or-”

“No, just…the very thought…” Snape shuddered, remembering the potion that Yunyun had concocted that had indeed resulted in a horrific monster wrapping it’s coils around Hogwarts. And Sylvia as well. Snape still thought Tom should have been quietly killed the moment they knew he was The Dark Lord reborn. 

“It is rather horrific, isn’t it. Is it true that she successfully brewed a Mopsus Potion?”

“Yes,” Snape said, and had to quickly school his face back to irritation. He’d very nearly smiled, or worse, beamed with pride. “She was supposed to be making a Featherweight Potion, but she surreptitiously substituted a few items and stirs and was able to brew a Mopsus Potion. I confiscated it before she could drink it. The last thing we need is a Potter able to move objects with her mind and with actual Seer powers. She’s bad enough with the nonsense Sybill fills her head with.”

Lupin let out a long, low whistle. “That’s a NEWT level brew, isn’t it? Rather impressive for a third year. Still, I rather agree about not letting Miss Potter have access to something that potent. She causes enough headaches as it is.”

“You have no idea,” Snape muttered, and suppressed an evil grin. If all went according to plan, the headaches that happened would all be for one Remus Lupin. The impertinent wretch would finally receive his just desserts. 

“I think I’m starting to learn! Well, thank you again, and if there’s ever any way I can repay you-”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’ll think of something,” Snape said silkily. He even managed a smile. The fool even recoiled at that. Some people just couldn’t be polite. 

Megumin hadn’t even taken more than two steps into the Defense Against the Dark Arts room before she pulled Chunchumaru from his holster at her hip and brandished her wand at her professor. “IMPOSTER! THERE’S AN IMPOSTER AMONG US!”

“So it seems you are not blind, Miss Potter,” Snape said blandly. “Have a seat, and put that thing away.”

“Chunchumaru is not a thing, but a mighty and noble wand! Now, stand and deliver, fiend! Riddikulus!” 

There was a vine crack noise, and Snape smeared at Megumin. “Three points from Gryffindor. Sit down, and cease yelling. Professor Lupin is indisposed.”

“Why? Did you MURDER him?!” Lavender demanded, peering around Megumin and raising her Axis Holy charm high. “DETECT EVIL!” 

A golden ray of light shone out of the holy symbol, but the only effect it had was to make Snape squint slightly. Lavender did get a sense of dread, but it was the same sense of dread she felt around Snape at all times. Snape, after all, was just the ordinary, petty kind of evil, and not actually the spawn of hell, hard as that might be to believe. 

“Five points from Gryffindor. The next one of you to cast an unauthorized spell during this class will be cleaning cauldrons in detention for a week,” Snape drawled. “Now move out of the door that the rest of you miscreants may enter and I can take roll.”

“I think it’s actually him,” Ron pointed out. “At least, he’s acting like Snape should.”

“Come on, Megumin, MOVE!” Parvati complained. 

Huffing in disappointment that there was not to be a climactic duel between herself and a doppelganger, Megumin sheathed her wand and walked over to a seat, where she glared at Snape with what she thought was a piercing gaze, but mostly made her look constipated. 

Contrary to his word, Snape did not take roll, as he’d known these students long enough that there was hardly any need for it, and he didn’t actually care anyway. “Open your books to page 394,” he said, snapping his fingers to shut the windows, and pulling down a screen. 

Hermione instantly raised her hand. “But, professor, we were supposed to study-”

Megumin slapped Hermione’s hand down. “Werewolves are WAY more interesting than hinkypinks.”

“It’s hinkypunks,” Hermione corrected, but she didn’t argue with the fact that werewolves were far more interesting than glorified boglights. 

There was a rustling of pages, and Snape glided forward. “Werewolves are one of the more dangerous magical beasts that wizards can face, for they-”

Darkness stood up in her seat, her hand flying up, as her face turned beat red. Snape paused, glancing over at her. “You have something to say, Miss Longbottom?”

“Werewolves are not magical beasts,” Darkness said, her tone slow and deliberate. “They are human beings, afflicted with a magical malady.”

“And you know so much about werewolves?” Snape sneered. “Have you already done the reading?”

Darkness took a deep breath, apparently counted to five, then said with a trembling voice, “I know several werewolves, and they are lovely people. With the advent of the wolfsbane potion, they can even lead mostly normal lives. Calling them magical beasts perpetuates a horrible stereotype, and I will not stand for it.”

Dead silence. Megumin was looking at Darkness with a shocked expression, as was Ron. Hermione, however, looked thoughtful, and was nodding slowly. The rest of their classmates were various degrees of scandalized, horrified, amused, or in the case of the muggleborns, baffled. 

“Wait, so werewolves aren’t dangerous?” Dean asked, looking confused. 

“They are vile, wicked creatures, and are one of the few magical beasts rated as XXXXX Wizard Killers, and-”

Darkness slammed her fists on the table. “That is outrageous slander, sir! They are not mindless beasts like a chimera or-”

“Miss Longbottom! Ten points from Gryffindor!” Snape’s voice snapped, but Darkness just kept right on going. 

“-nundus, and you are spreading blatant propaganda that vilifies victims of a tragic illness who-”

“Silencio!” Snape barked, and Darkness finally fell silent, even as her lips kept moving and her face grew ever redder. Snape’s own normally pallid express was flushed as well, and his goatee and eyebrows bristled fiercely as he glared at Darkness. “You will sit down, Miss Longbottom! This material is mandated by the Ministry of Magic, and may well save your life. One never knows if a werewolf might be lurking amongst those they know, and there are those such as Fenrir Greyback who would love to find a naive,innocent, homely child like you to prey upon!” 

Trembling with rage, Darkness stood where she was, her hands balled into fists as she met Snape glare for glare. 

“Very well. Then it is detention for you, Miss Longbottom. Your foolish complaints are registered. Now, will you sit down, or must I remove you from my classroom that I may teach my lesson?” Snape hissed. He tried to step forward to loom over Darkness, only to find that she was barely shorter than he was, which rather ruined the effect and allowed her to glare at him eye to eye. 

After a solid ten seconds of staring, Darkness reached down, picked up her belongings, and stormed out of the classroom, her footfalls eerily silent as she went. 

Hermione’s hand shot up, even as Megumin and Ron got to their feet. “One moment. Sir, am I correct in assuming that lycanthropy is much like the AIDS epidemic?”

“Aside from the fact that unlike a muggle virus, lycanthropy cannot be cured, yes. It is a deadly disease that turns those who are infected into pariahs that can easily infect those around them and doom them to be carriers of the plague,” Snape stated.

“I see.” Hermione retrieved her own belongings. “In that case, I think you’d best remove me as well sir, or I’m afraid I would also be a disruption to your hateful and small-minded lesson.” 

Snape’s jaw clenched, but he managed to grind out, “Go.”

“Solidarity!” Megumin declared, sticking her fist in the air. 

Caught up in the moment, Lavender forgot that she was terrified of Snape, and jumped up out of her seat as well, squeaking, “Solidarity!” as she raised her own fist. Ron silently mimicked the gesture.

“Just because one is afflicted with a dark curse does not mean one is no longer human, or that they should not be treated with common decency,” Megumin declared in dark tones. 

“This is nothing like-” Snape took a deep breath, then pointed to the door. “Out! All of you! You will have detention for a week, and 100 points from Gryffindor each!” 

“You’ll have to take points from me too, sir.”

All eyes in the room snapped over to where Dust had slowly risen from his seat. Kazuma and Draco were staring at him open-mouthed, but Dust was utterly serious. “A good friend of mine is an XXXXX rated being, and they’re just as much of a person as anyone I’ve met. So if Darkness says that werewolves are people too, then I’m with her.”

“Dust, what are you DOING?!” Kazuma hissed. 

“The right thing,” Dust said solemnly as even Snape was utterly flabbergasted. Dust turned to Kazuma and winked. “You remember what happened last year, right?”

“I…oh.” Kazuma winced, then sighed and slowly stood. “Yeah, I’m afraid I’m with this moron.”

“Me too!” Tom declared, jumping up to his feet. “Solidarity!” 

Draco looked back and forth between Kazuma and Dust, then his eyes narrowed. He nodded slowly, then stood, his fist raised. “Solidarity.”

During this little display, Snape’s face had gone from red, two white, to purple. He was now positively apoplectic, and he spread his arms wide. “OUT! ALL OF YOU! FOUR HUNDRED POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN, AND FIVE HUNDRED FROM GRYFFINDOR! I WILL SEE YOU IN MY OFFICE AFTER CLASS!” 

“You have not seen the last of us!” Megumin declared, shaking her fist. “We will not be silenced, or oppressed, we will be-”

“SILENCIO!” Snape thundered, practically frothing at the mouth now. “GET OUT OUT BEFORE I THROW YOU OUT!” 

Still silenced, the eight students trooped out of the room, leaving only half of Snape’s class behind him as their enraged professor demanded, “Has anyone else taken leave of their senses!? No!? GOOD! THEN WE BEGIN WITH HOW TO REPEL THE FOUL BEASTS!” 

The still-silent students looked around at one another. Megumin made wild hand gestures, several of which were rather rude, then darted off down the corridor, Ron and Hermione in hot pursuit. Kazuma looked after them, shrugged, then stuck his hands in his pockets and ambled off, even as Draco took out a piece of notebook paper and started scribbling on it furiously. Tom skulked off to who knows where, while Dust looked vaguely confused about the whole thing. 

For a while, Kazuma just wandered about, before heading outside. He didn’t have anywhere in particular to go, so he headed off towards the lake on a whim. After a few minutes, the Silencing Charm wore off, and Kazuma whistled tunelessly to himself, enjoying the pleasant early autumn sunshine. 

As he walked, Kazuma heard a series of loud cracks. Frowning, he turned towards the sound, wondering what on earth it was. Before long, he came to a large boulder, with Darkness standing in front of it, a massive brank that was almost an entire log gripped in both her hands. She was slamming the wood against the boulder as hard as she could, and from the splinters and two broken logs nearby, she’d been at it a while. 

Kazuma paused, and found himself fascinated. Darkness had stripped out of her ropes, which were lying nearby in a crumpled heap, and was wearing only a blouse and shorts. Her clothes were clinging to her from the sweat that was pouring off her body, and for the first time, Kazuma noticed that Darkness was a Girl. He’d always thought of Darkness as an ugly horse face, but she was clearly becoming a woman, even if she was gangly and awkward yet. 

Almost against his will, Kazuma found himself drawn forward. He admired Darkness’ work and form for a few moments, lost in his own thoughts. He absently picked up a nearby felled tree from a stack, Darkness apparently having gathered herself quite a pile, and winced. What kind of a freak was she? He could barely lift it! 

Just then, there was an explosion of splinters and a deafening crack that made Kazuma jump as the branch in Darkness hands shattered in half.

Darkness then uttered a series of distinctly unladylike phrases, then broke the half of the wood still in her hands over her knee. She bent over, picked up the other broken half, and this time simply ripped it in half with her bare hands, before tossing both broken sections into a pile of firewood sized chunks. Then she turned around and froze, her eyes locking with Kazuma’s. 

“Here,” Kazuma said, proffering the log. “This one’s too big for me.”

Darkness ignored him, her eyes filling with tears. “What do you want, Crabbe? Here as that spiteful man’s toady, or simply to mock me?”

“Oh, get over yourself. You think you’re so high and mighty, don’t you? Can’t even conceive that anyone could even match you for self-righteousness,” Kazuma sneered, tossing the branch at Darkness. It fell a bit short and rolled up to her, but she let it bump against her trainers. 

“Werewolves are people, Crabbe. And I am in the mood to break something right now. Normally, I would enjoy your mockery, but right now, if you so much as utter a single disparaging word about werewolves, I will break you, and damn the consequences,” Darkness snarled, raising her hands and clenching them into fists. 

Kazuma just rolled his eyes. “Seriously? Did you forget what happened last year already? I knew you were the stupid one of Megumin’s minions, but I didn’t think you were that dense.”

Darkness redded and flinched slightly, dropping her eyes for a moment. Apparently, that one hit too close to home. Then her eyes snapped up. “You mean…Aqua giving Lavender that amulet, and what she said about werewolves? They are dangerous, it’s just…they’re people, Kazuma!” 

“So is Sylvia,” Kazuma said mildly, and Darkness pulled up an inch short of her fist connecting with his nose. 

Her hand trembling, Darkness leaned forward, but Kazuma stood his ground despite being a full head shorter than her. “What did you say?”

“I said, Sylvia is a person too,” Kazuma said with a shrug. “And heck, basilisks are probably more dangerous than werewolves. But I figured, what the hell, if a giant snake monster can be a person, why couldn’t some poor bastard who gets a little furry once a month?”

Darkness blinked at him, then lowered her fist. She scrubbed at her reddened eyes and tears, then barked out a bitter laugh. “You are an absolutely infuriating boy; do you know that, Kazuma?”

“I mean, my parents tried to kill me, so I get where the impulse comes from,” Kazuma said with a shrug, feeling a deep sense of relief. For a moment there, he’d seen his life flash before his eyes. Which had been odd, because for some reason, he’d seen himself in a lot of lives he didn’t really remember. 

“Ah.” Darkness looked embarrassed, fidgeting for a moment. Then she glanced around, and bent over. She picked up a substantially smaller stick, and held it out to Kazuma. “Want to hit the boulder for a while? It makes me feel better. Especially since I’m so stupid.”

“Eh, I can be pretty stupid myself,” Kazuma agreed, and took the branch, giving it a few good swishes in the air. He peeled off his robes, showing his Superman T-Shirt to Darkness. She glanced at it curiously, and he bristled. “What? You got a problem with anything?”

Darkness shrugged. “It’s just interesting. You are very odd.”

“Yeah, well, same to you,” Kazuma muttered. Then he walked over to the rock and started smacking it with all his strength. It actually did feel pretty good, especially when he imagined he was hitting his parent's stupid faces. 

A moment later, the heavy thuds began again, and Kazuma glanced over to see Darkness determinedly slamming another thick branch into the boulder. He shrugged and kept at it. Wasn’t like he had anything better to do. 

Ten minutes later, Kazuma deeply regretted his life decisions and sat on the ground trying not to cry as he clutched at his bleeding hands. He sat slumped against the boulder, his eyes watering. He’d not managed to break more than one stick, while Darkness had broken two trees, but he had managed to put several splinters in his hands, and rub them raw. His last hit had sent his branch flighting and torn the skin, and now both his hands were bleeding.

Kazuma swore, squeezing his eyes shut. “To hell with Snape, to hell with my parents, to hell with everyone! DAMMIT! Why does everyone have to be such an asshole all the time?”

“I do not know. I have never understood why people cannot simply be civil. Give me your hands.” 

Blinking, Kazuma looked up to see Darkness there, and he blushed furiously. In his own self pity and reverie, he’d forgotten she was even there. He clutched his hands away from her, then winced. 

She tsked, and reached out, forcibly pulling Kazuma’s hands down as she squatted next to him. She examined his palms, frowning. “You blistered quickly. Don’t you ever use your hands?”

“Not if I can help it?” Kazuma gasped. 

“Hmm. I am not very good with healing charms. Hold still.” Kazuma watched in horror as Darkness took out a pair of metal tweezers, and began to remove the splinters. He grimaced in pain and flinched, but he couldn’t let her see him be weak. It took a few minutes, but Darkness pulled out all the splinters, then took out a brown bottle. “This will sting.”

“What doesn’t,” Kazuma grumbled. “Just pour it- YOW! THAT’S NOT A HEALING POTION!” 

“No, it is iodine,” Darkness said flatly, then seized Kazuma’s other hand and poured a generous amount of brown liquid over it, causing Kazuma to forget his promise not to look weak and yowl in pain again. Then she took out a flask of water, poured it over both of Kazuma’s hands, and smeared them with paste from a small tube of obviously muggle medicine. Then she wrapped his hands in strips of gauze bandages. “There. Next time, wear gloves.”

“That HURT! Why couldn’t you just use a potion like a normal witch?” Kazuma complained. 

Darkness’s lip twitched. “Would you want me to administer a potion that I made?”

“No, obviously not! Just get Megumin to make them for you! She’s so good, even Snape thinks her potions deserve Os!” Kazuma snapped, rubbing his hands and wincing. They were tender, but they did feel a little better with that cream on it. 

“I…had not considered that,” Darkness admitted. She pulled out a bottle of pills, and shook out two, then offered them to Kazuma. “Here.”

“Ibuprofen?” Kazuma examined one, then shrugged and popped both in his mouth. He took the canteen without asking and swallowed them with a mouthful of water, wiping his mouth with his arm. 

Darkness popped a couple of pills herself, taking a swig of water to wash them down before corking her canteen. 

“Gross. It’s like we kissed,” Kazuma said, leering at her. 

“How disgusting. I’d rather kiss a werewolf,” Darkness said flatly, standing back up and offering Kazuma a hand. 

“Well, I’d rather kiss Sylvia,” Kazuma said, then helped as Darkness squeezed his hand a little harder than necessary as she got him to his feet. 

“You and every boy in the school,” Darkness said in disgust. “I’m surprised you’re not taking Care of Magical Creatures.”

“Meh. It sounded like work. Also, way more likely to get me hurt than Divination or Muggle Studies,” Kazuma said, flexing his hands. They still hurt. How long did it take the stupid muggle potions to work!?

“And I suppose you thought they would both be easy Os,” Darkness said with a roll of her eyes. 

“Hey, I got better marks than you on all our tests and quizzes in Muggle Studies! Maybe for YOU it’s an easy O, but I actually give a damn about that stuff! Muggles are people, just as much as werewolves or basilisks or whatever!” Kazuma snapped, poking Darkness in the abdomen with his finger, then regretting it as he was still very sore, and her abs were apparently made of rock. 

“You…did?” Darkness paused, looking confused. “But…I had Megumin and Hermione help me study for those, and they’re both muggleborns, or close enough in Megumin’s case.”

“Yeah, but they’re just into nerd stuff. They’ve never even HEARD of most of the muggle wars, even if muggle wars are freaking AWESOME! You have no idea how much time I’ve spent on Age of Empires and Civilization, or how many crazy awesome war movies I’ve seen! Hell, I even read all of Hornblower AND the Aubrey Maturin series, so I know I’m going to get an O on our quiz on the Napoleonic wars! I’m even having Dobby smuggle me this new TV series called Sharpe’s Rifles, so we’ll see who gets the O now!” 

Darkness regarded Kazuma for a long moment, then slowly said, “You…read muggle books? And watch muggle movies?”

All the blood drained out of Kazuma’s face, and he felt distinctly light-headed. “I, uh, I mean…I, um…j-just joking, you know! I, er…”

“Kazuma. Unlike some people, I will not use your every secret against you, nor attempt to out you to others as some sort of ‘muggle lover’ in order to curry favor with unsavory sorts,” Darkness said in exasperation. 

“Oh, uh right. Gryffindor,” Kazuma sagged slightly, feeling a massive wave of relief. 

“However…” Kazuma stiffened. He knew it! That Gryffindor stuff about honor was a load of bunk! They’d betray you just like everyone else, and they’d be happy to stab you in the back and dump you in a ditch, just like every other- “I would very much like to watch this ‘Sharpe’s Rifles’. If it would help me get a better mark, I’m all for it. My grades, as you have so gleefully pointed out, are rather dire.”

“Oh.” Kazuma’s mind raced. How could he spin this to his advantage? How could he use this to get ahead? “Well, you could just watch it with me. I’ve got Dobby smuggling it into Hogsmeade, and I was gonna rent a room at the Three Broomsticks and veg for the day while I binge it. He recorded it on VHS, and I’ve put together a magical TV and VCR that’ll play ‘em.”

“Thank you, I appreciate it. Perhaps we could study together sometime. I hadn’t realized you knew so much about muggle culture, or I’d have approached you earlier.” With that, Darkness turned around, stacked up the firewood she’d split, and grunted as she picked it up. Then she trotted off toward Hagrid’s hut. 

Feeling bemused, Kazuma picked up his clothes and the medical supplies, then glanced at Darkness’ retreating form. Leering, he picked up her robes and sniffed them. Then he frowned. Huh. Girls stunk too? Well, whatever. Whistling to himself, he bundled up Darkness’ robes and headed off after her. 

PHILO: Kazuma better not evolve into Scumzuma. He’s actually kinda respectable this go-around.