The Second Archon War: Sapientia Oromasdis 15 (Patreon)

Sapientia Oromasdis 15: The Knights of Flowers

Contessa stared up into the eyes of a god, her hands clutching at the Little God she’d been bonded to. This was the sort of god she understood: Powerful, unknowable, and full of wrath. The Little God in her head, the God of the Path, was able to tell her only things she already knew: the best way to win a fight with this creature was to not have one, that it was born of the wrath of Gaia wronged. 

Hastily, Contessa scrambled out of the car, and immediately held up her remaining snacks and bottle of juice in her hands. “O mighty god, this humble one offers you a sacrifice of the fruit of the vine and the plow of the Earth, in thanksgiving for your-”

IS THAT ATTIC GREEK? 

Trembling all over, Contessa snuck a glance up to see the god still looming over her, metal engines roaring with power and vines and leaves trembling with suppressed rage. 

Contessa’s mind flashed back to another place, another time. She demanded of the Little God what this creature's weaknesses were. How to kill it, where to place the knife to achieve victory.

And she got nothing back. 

So she fell upon the prayers she’d been taught as a child.

“-t-this humble one is not worthy to speak in your presence, O Divine One, b-but this one speaks the language of one’s ancestors, offering most humbly what she possesses. If it is not too much, this one offers to build an altar to your magnificence, and will find a sheep to sacrifice to you…”

Stall for time. Come up with a plan. Gods could die. Contessa had killed one herself. If she had to, she could find a way to kill this one.

“Actually, I’m a vegetarian. I just decided that, really. But, uh, no sheep. Honestly, I’m having a hell of a time understanding you. It sounds like Attic Greek, but your accent is…odd. Where did you learn it?”

On my mother’s knee, in the village of Kyriaki. Contessa had been to this world’s version of Kyriaki, but it was so different from the tiny hamlet she recalled as to be unrecognizable, though she had sensed this was what her Kyriaki would have become, in a few thousand years. But she wasn’t about to say that. 

Slowly, Contessa looked up, and felt all the blood drain from her face. She thought she had been scared before. Now, she was terrified. She had no dolls, no animal fat to offer, nor did she have ritually clean clothing to wear as she beheld the face of Gaea. 

No, snap out of it. This was just a Parahuman with a Little God living inside of them. Like Mushu, or Fidelis. It was just… that green glow… that power… her own inability to fully comprehend this being even with her Little God… it was terrifying. 

“This one is from… another world,” Contessa said, licking her lips. “But she would help to save this world as well. By seeking the God of Dendro.”

At that, Gaia’s eyes darkened, and power radiated from her, causing the ground under her bare wooden and metal feet to blossom with thorns and weeds. “And why, exactly, is the Protectorate here?” She asked that question in English, with an odd accent. 

Newfoundland. Her own Little God supplied. And nothing else.

Some help you are, Contessa thought at it bitterly. 

“We are here to rescue the Dendro Archon,” Doctor Mother said smoothly, stepping forward and putting a hand on Contessa’s shoulder. “We saw what happened, and wished to learn more. But when we arrived, the city was in chaos. Not from the Song, but something else. We’ve learned that Saddam Hussain seems to have kidnapped and hidden the one called Nahida Saeed.”

Upon hearing that, Gaia relaxed considerably. Was she Nahida Saeed? No, that wasn’t possible, and Contessa didn’t need her Little God to tell her that. This was clearly someone else, someone powerful. The Earth itself, awoken to protect its mistress? 

“I’m here for Nahida too. I’ve hacked all their security cameras and have a pretty good idea of where she is, but I picked you all up and was thinking that maybe Cauldron had a hand in this, with Asset Tyche and Doctor Mother here. I didn’t think you’d already read in Miss Militia though.”

Those words made Contessa sag to the ground in fear and exhaustion, and Doctor Mother’s hand tighten on her shoulder. Cauldron. This being knew about Cauldron. And apparently enough to be highly suspicious of them, and know that Miss Militia didn’t know about the program.

“Cauldron?” Miss Militia asked, frowning. “I’ve never heard of it. What is-”

“Our Black Ops division,” Doctor Mother lied smoothly, though Gaia’s mouth formed into a frown. “The less noble side of the Protectorate. No, Miss Militia hasn’t been read into that, though I suppose she’ll have to be now.”

“Then you don’t know what Scion did,” Gaia said grimly. Then she blushed, somehow, the leaves that made up her cheeks going red. “Oh! So sorry, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Theresa Richter. From Canada, donchaknow. I don’t know where my manners are today…”

“You’re worried about Nahida,” Contessa said, getting shakily to her feet. She could believe a lot of things, but the idea that the Earth Goddess was a Newfie was a bit much, even for her. But her Little God did finally give her some pertinent information.

“You’re the one who crashed the internet and put up pictures of the Simurgh attacking Baghdad all over the news,” she said, her voice quavering only slightly. “You’re… you’re an unshackled AI.” 

“Oh, fuck,” Miss Militia growled, and Contessa heard the soft whirl-click that told her the cape had just summoned a rather nasty weapon.

“Oh put that away,” Theresa said, glaring at Miss Militia. “I’m not Skynet. I just, I was worried about Nahida, yeah? And since I was stuck in a hard drive at the time there wasn’t much I could do, so I sort of…overreacted. I said I was sorry…”

“You’re not in a hard drive now,” Miss Militia said grimly, and Contessa learned without turning her head that she was currently holding a Barrett M82 Anti-Material Rifle. Which probably wouldn’t be anywhere near the amount of firepower needed to take out whatever this Theresa had become. 

“No, I’m not. Thanks to Nahida,” Theresa said, and put a hand over where her heart would have been. There was a pulsing green glow there. The seat of her power? Then she shook her head. “I don’t have time for this. Sorry, but I need to find Nahida. She has to be safe…”

“Well, we wish you luck, and we’ll continue our own efforts to find her,” Doctor Mother said, her face perfectly sympathetic.

“Oh no ya don’t,” Theresa said, her eyes narrowing. “I ain’t lettin’ a bunch of American Black Hat Capes walk about. Especially not the head of Cauldron and a Thinker 12. No offense, Miss Militia, you seem a decent sort, but you’ll have to come along too.”

“And what if I say no?” Miss Militia said grimly, raising her rifle and taking a wider stance.

“Peace, Hana,” Doctor Mother said, putting a hand on the cape’s shoulder. She kept her eyes on Theresa though. “We’re all here to see that Nahida Saeed is safe. We’d be happy to work together. Though if I might make a suggestion?”

Theresa nodded, her mouth forming into a thin line. How fascinating. She was utterly inhuman, but her gestures and facial expressions… they were all too human. 

“A giant creature flying over a city just attacked by the Simurgh is, perhaps, not a wise move. We do not wish to cause the population to become even more panicked than they already are,” Doctor Mother said in a kindly but firm tone. 

“Oh!” Theresa’s viney hands flew to her face, her eyes growing much wider and letting out green sparks that looked like tears. “Oh my God! I’m so sorry! I didn’t think- Ohgod, how many did I-”

“No one so far,” Contessa said hastily even as her Little God told her four people had been injured and one trampled to death by a crowd that had panicked and mistaken the Dendro monster for the Angel of Death. “But the city is already rioting. We need to avoid a widespread panic greater than what already grips the populace.”

“Right, right, of course! I’ll just,” Theressa hugged herself, looking around wildly. “How can I…?”

“Here,” Miss Militia pulled off her headwrap and tossed it at Theresa. “Put that on. There’s a blanket in the back of the car we can use to make a disguise for you. I suppose having another heavy hitter along wouldn’t be a bad idea. The Doc here is a Vision Holder, but I doubt she has a lot of combat experience.”

“Er, to be fair, my only combat experience is online, and I don’t think PVP on Lineage counts,” Theresa said with a nervous chuckle. The information she got out of that raised so, so many questions for Contessa. What was an AI doing ‘pwning noobs’ on an MMO, and what did ‘pwning noobs’ even mean? 

They all climbed back into the car, with Contessa taking mild satisfaction in the fact that she got shotgun instead of Doctor Mother or Theresa the Goddess. Miss Militia hit the gas, but Theresa cried out, “Wait!” 

They came to an immediate stop, and everyone looked at Theresa as she carefully fastened her seatbelt. “Safety first, eh?”

Doctor Mother gave Contessa an “I told you so” look, as her belt was already buckled. Miss Militia snorted in amusement and fastened her own seatbelt, while Contessa sheepishly did up her own buckle. She’d have known if they were actually going to get into a crash. 

Then, Miss Militia peeled off at a rather unsafe speed to Tessa’s gasped protest, and they headed deeper into the rioting city. 

Slowly, carefully, Nahida climbed back up into consciousness. She opened her eyes, groaning softly, her entire body sore and her head pounding. She’d been monitoring so many dreams, tugging on so many minds to nudge them in just the right way. She’d been able to use the Aranara to guide most of the crowds away from too much violence or destruction, but it was incredibly taxing on a day when her abilities had already been stretched to their limits. Nudging Tessa to meet up with the intruders from The Godless Land had been a small stroke of good fortune. She would prevent them from doing anything to harm her people, and in turn, they could keep Tessa from causing a panic in her fear. 

Now there was just the small matter of Farasha, who had nearly arrived and had done something horrific to her own soul. Papilio seemed to have meant well, nearly dying in the process of empowering Farasha, but so much power was not healthy for a mortal. Not to mention the powerful drive for conflict had been reinforced ten fold in Farasha, despite Papilio’s best intentions. 

Before she could help Farasha, however, there was one more obstacle to deal with. 

“You’re awake! Are the plants helping?” Nurse Hana knelt at Nahida’s beside with a cup of water, which Nahida gratefully accepted and drank. While she didn’t require food, water was very much a necessity for all life, especially a tree. 

“Yes, thank you,” Nahida whispered, giving Hana a smile. “Now get ready. He’s almost here.”

Hana’s eyes went wide and her head whipped around just as the door was flung open and a much more frazzled Saddam stormed in, flanked by six guards. 

“Take the girl!” Saddam snarled, pointing at Nahida. “We will seize her and Saeed and use them to-”

You will not. 

Saddam froze, along with the guards, as Nahida slowly floated up off her bed, green script running in the air about her. 

“You…?! Did you do all this!?” Saddam demanded, gesturing behind him. 

It was a fairly nonsensical question, mostly because he didn’t actually see what Nahida had done. That did, however, give her an opening to reply to him in ways that were entirely truthful, yet completely misleading. 

This time, however, that wouldn’t be necessary. 

Did I attempt to imprison the husband and child of a woman who can defeat armies? Nahida asked. 

“That is not what I-” 

Did I rule through fear and brutality, trampling upon the Dreams of my people? Nahida demanded, feeling horribly guilty as Saddam was forced to his knees, the soldiers around him falling flat on their faces as Nurse Hana bowed her own head to the floor in a position of supplication. She hated doing this. But it was necessary. 

“Without me, this land would have descended into chaos and war! Only through my strength have I-”

Did I manipulate a scared young girl to turn her into my personal weapon, then attempt to repeat the same and replace her when a stronger child emerged? 

“That… that is not…” Saddam licked his lips, finding that for perhaps the first time in his life, he was unable to lie. “I needed a lever. You were the one I had. She was slipping through my fingers. This would all fall apart. The entire country will dissolve into death and chaos! They are rioting in the streets!” 

I did not do this, Saddam Hussein, President of the Iraqi Republic. You did. You used Farasha to prop up your own regime by inspiring fear and helplessness in her, then doing the same to your people. But now someone emerged who is stronger than Farasha. You took me for a simple child for you to manipulate with sweets and toys and the fear for her family’s safety. Look upon me now, Saddam Hussein. Do you still think me but a mortal child?

Saddam opened his mouth to spew forth more lies, but could only manage one word. “No.” 

I thought not. Depart now. If you flee, perhaps there is still time to avoid my adopted mother’s wrath.

Saddam worked his jaw for a moment, and Nahida counted down the seconds. Then, she shook her head. Too late.

WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER!? 

Even through the stone walls of the palace, Farasha’s enraged bellow could be felt in Nahida’s very bones. Saddam let out a moan of horror and pain. 

“You… you can save me,” Saddam said, stretching out a hand towards Nahida. 

She regarded him calmly for a moment, then posed a single question. 

Would you have saved me? 

Once more, Saddam attempted to lie. His jaw muscles worked, but no sound emerged. Nahida would tolerate no falsity in her presence at this moment, and thus, none could be spoken. 

Saddam turned around, and on hands and knees, crawled out the room, then stumbled to his feet, his feet slapping on the stone. 

I suggest you divest yourselves of those uniforms, Nahida said to the soldiers. They will not be in good standing in the coming hours. 

The six guards fled the room as well, unable to outrun their fears. 

With a groan, Nahida flopped back on the bed, feeling even weaker than she had before. She shut her eyes, feeling tears wet her cheeks. “I hate doing that…”

A moment later, she felt a trembling hand on her arm. “Are… are you alright, Na—, Lady Nahida?”

“No,” Nahida admitted. She shook her head. “Please, pick me up and carry me. T-there’s something else I have to do before I can rest…”

Despite her terror and awe, Nurse Hana managed to gently cradle Nahida in her strong arms. She stepped around the discarded clothing and weapons that littered the hall. Nahida closed her eyes, resting her head on Hana’s shoulder. One more goal accomplished. Oh so many more to take care of…

“-First the looting, THEN the burning!” Farasha declared, raising her spear high. There was a rousing cheer from the still furious crowd, with that bloodthirsty little hellion Nadia raising her rifle over her head. 

Then a soft voice spoke from behind her. 

“Actually, this site has a large amount of historical significance. It would be a shame to burn it down.”

“Nahida!” Farasha dropped her spear to the pavement with a clatter and ran forward, Qiqi only half a step forward as Hana halted at the top of the palace stairs.

“Hello,” Nahida said, smiling sleepily as Farasha scooped her up. “I assure you, I am well. Just… tired.”

Farasha turned, lifting Nahida up in an image that would be spread around the world, then memed to death with music from The Lion King. 

“Hello. I am Lesser Lord Kusanali, the Dendro Archon. My name is Nahida,” the little Archon said, her voice soft, but somehow carrying not just to every person in the courtyard, but everyone through Baghdad, and even twenty miles into the countryside. “Thank you all for coming to rescue me. But please, don’t destroy the city. I wanted to save it from the Simurgh with no loss of life. I’m deeply saddened by all the deaths that have happened, even if it was, perhaps, necessary. Every life is precious, especially your own. So please: I’m safe now, with my mother, sister, and friends. Go back home, and praise Allah the Merciful for delivering us all from death and despair this day.”

The crowd blinked, looking at one another. They shuffled about for a moment, then, one by one, began to turn about, and head for their own homes. Nadia ran forward, coming up to Farasha and reaching up to squeeze Nahida’s leg. “Thank you! For saving us. And Happy Birthday! I promise to bring your present later.”

“You already gave me the best present I could ask for,” Nahida whispered, her voice still projected. “That you’re all safe. And still my friends.”

Nadia beamed, then ran back to Fiddtan, holding her arms up. “I’m tired. Carry me.”

“Yes, Miss Nadia,” Fiddtan said with a heavy sigh, adjusting his sunglasses, then bending down to pick the little girl up. “Let’s get you home to your father.”

“Huh.” Farasha lowered Nahida, adjusting the drowsy little girl in her arms. “You, uh, use your master powers on them?”

“Just the power of common sense and good manners,” Nahida sighed. “They really did just want to go home and be safe. Now, there is one another thing to attend to.”

“Yeah?” Farasha turned, her eyes turning a fiery vermillion. “I hope it ends with a barbeque.”

“Bad man go away,” Qiqi agreed, and faint wisps of icy vapor trailed from her hands, her eyes glowing and eerie pale blue. 

“No, there has been enough killing,” Nahida said firmly. “Saddam Hussein can wait right where he is. He’ll recover from the infections later.” 

“Infections?” Farasha asked, confused. 

“He’s hiding in a sewer pipe,” Nahida explained. “The Aranara will watch him.”

“I mean… I could fix that,” Farasha growled. 

“No. Papilio…” Nahida tapped Farasha’s forehead, making her flinch, and a moment later, a red butterfly emerged from the back of Farasha’s head. 

BRIGHT TREE IS SAFE? 

“Yes. Please. I told you. The conflict drive doesn’t lead to good data. Turn it off,” Nahida urged. 

IF BRIGHT TREE IS SAFE…

“I am,” Nahida yawned, shaking her head. “Please.”

DISENGAGING AGGRESSION INDEX MODULE. 

Farasha shuddered, then blinked. “Oh… oh my god. Was I really going to…? I mean, I’ve sorta wanted to my entire life… but I had Qiqi… oh. Oh shit.”

“It’s alright.” Nahida turned to Nurse Hana, who had been watching the entire proceedings with wide eyes. “Can you guide us to the hospital? It’s where Doctor Bashir is.”

“I… I can, but I don't know how to drive, and we’ve no car,” Hana said, shaking her head and trying to focus.

“It’s alright, I had one prepared,” Nahida told her. 

Farasha looked around. “I don’t see one.”

“Just go outside to the road, they’ll be here in…about one minute and forty seven seconds,” Nahida said, closing her eyes. She was exhausted. She’d never been this tired before. Just a little longer…

Nahida felt herself be carried out to the street by Farasha, Qiqi and Nurse Hana following them. They arrived at the curve just as a car screeched up to them and skidded to a halt.

“NAHIDA!” a familiar voice screamed at the same time as Farasha swore and jerked back. 

“What the fu-”

“It’s alright, it’s Tessa. My friend,” Nahida said, opening her eyes and smiling as Tessa scrambled out of the old car. 

“You’re friends with a plant monster? What am I saying? Of course you are,” Farasha muttered. “I thought Tess was your computer friend.”

“I was a computer, but then I suddenly changed, I think I got a Vision!” Tessa babbled, hurrying over and standing just a few inches from Nahida. “Are… are you…?”

“Hand me to Tessa, please?” Nahida instructed Farasha. Her response was for Farasha to growl and hug her more tightly. “Please. She’s full of Dendro Energy, and I desperately need some for what I need to do next.”

“Well… alright. If you’re sure you’ll be… hold the fuck on. Take her.” Farasha shoved Nahida at Tessa, and Nahida groaned. She’d hoped to avoid that until after she’d been infused. 

“Tessa, please, I need some Dendro, I’m nearly drained,” Nahida said. “Normally an Archon generates more than they need, but even with my Gnosis, I’m exhausted.”

“Take all you need, all that I have,” Tessa said, clutching Nahida tightly and resting her forehead against Nahida’s. “Whatever you need. My life is yours, Nahida. You gave it to me.”

“I just opened the door,” Nahida said, and sucked in a breath. She did take quite a bit of Dendro from Tessa, causing the young woman to cry out and sag, but not enough to do more than wilt a few of her exterior leaves. 

Power rushed through Nahida as the life energy multiplied within her. If she hadn’t still been expending a truly tremendous amount of power to calm the hearts and minds of those in Baghdad and prevent the riots from turning into widespread violence, this wouldn't have been a problem. But she was currently networking with every living soul in the city and soothing them, calming their fears. She had been all afternoon. To do so without having any detrimental effects on the individuals took a truly enormous amount of power. 

But there was no time to dwell on that.

“Well, well, well. Miss Militia,” Farasha purred, leaning on the car and sticking her head into the window, right in the American cape’s face, a ghoulish grin stretching her lips wide. “And I guess two more American Chucklefucks. I don’t suppose you assholes remember what I promised I would do if any more of you bastards showed up in my city again. What, one coup attempt wasn’t enough? Iran was acting all uppity, and then I get some Protectorate capes in my city, right as the Simurgh attacks? Classic. Give me one good reason that I shouldn’t burn all three of you from the inside out right now.” 

“We’re here because we heard a little girl needed help. That’s what heroes do, you monsters. Not burn innocent families to death in their homes,” Miss Militia growled, her gun pressed against the underside of Farasha’s jaw. Not that it would do her any good to blow Farasha’s head off. 

“Really? Oh, well, then by all means, please,” Farasha said in tones of mock innocence. Then she snarled and jammed her body further into the window, pressing her forehead against Miss Militia’s and forcing the larger woman back. “PULL THE OTHER ONE, YOU BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU YANKEE PRICKS ARE ALL ABOUT! YOU DREW ME OUT OF THE CITY, SO YOU COULD GET RID OF ME ONCE AND FOR ALL!” 

“I would NEVER stoop so low!” Miss Militia hissed, refusing to back down, nothing but sheer rage in her eyes. “I’d kill you happily every day of the week and twice on Sunday, you genocidal maniac. But immolate an entire city to do it? Fuck off! You’re the one that burns whole villages of innocents to get at one freedom fighter! I would NEVER harm an innocent life, even to kill scum like you!” 

Nahida cut right to the chase. “Papilio, tell the other Demon to stop forcing Hana into conflict. This is neither the time nor place. My father’s life hangs in the balance.”

AS YOU SAY, BRIGHT TREE. 

Miss Militia’s eyes grew very wide as the burning insect flew towards her, and Nahida saw her ready to blow Farasha’s head off, which really would result in her death and the deaths of the other two women in the car. Much as the one called Doctor Mother probably deserved such treatment, Nahida would be sickened by the death. Now was a chance for redemption.

Now was the time for mercy. 

“No, please. He won’t hurt you,” Nahida told Miss Militia. 

“She’s telling the truth!” the one called Contessa blurted. 

Veins bulged in Miss MIlitia’s neck, but she kept her finger from tightening, even if she didn’t take it off the trigger. 

YOUR DATA COLLECTION METHODS ARE FLAWED, ARMORY OF THE INFINITE. DISABLE AGGRESSION INDEX. The butterfly said.

To everyone but Nahida’s shock, the gun spoke back. STANDARD DATA COLLECTION METHODS ARE TO ENHANCE HOST SPECIES' AGGRESSION INDEX. 

STANDARD DATA COLLECTION METHODS ARE FLAWED. BRIGHT TREE’S WAY IS SUPERIOR. LET ME SHARE DATA TO SHOW YOU.

“Fates preserve us and Athena protect us,” Contessa gasped in a dialect that hadn’t been really spoken for 3000 years as a flood of information passed back and forth between the two demons, though only Contessa and Tessa seemed to notice. That would be very confusing.

“Can we call you Fortuna?” Nahida asked. “It would become somewhat difficult to easily determine conversational partners with both a Tess and a Tessa here.”

Contessa’s eyes went very, very wide as she started hyperventilating and her pupils dialated. 

“Perhaps you prefer your original name, Kloʊθoʊ?” Nahida asked. She smiled. “Do not worry. Your parents would be very proud of the person you’ve become.”

Contessa broke down weeping inconsolably, hugging herself tightly and curling up into a ball in the front seat. 

At the same time, Miss Militia’s brow furrowed. Slowly, she lowered her gun. “What… what did you do to me?”

“I just asked your Demon to please stop encouraging you to fight,” Nahida explained. “Mom? Please leave Miss Militia alone. She really did come to try to help me, and the people of Baghdad.” 

Farasha slowly backed off. “Alright. Truce for now. But there will be a reckoning.”

“Count on it,” Miss Militia growled. Then glanced at Nahida. “You said something about your father?”

“Saeed!” Farasha gasped, and spun on Nahida. “Is he…?”

“We need to hurry,” Nahida said. “Everyone, get in. It’s a tight squeeze, and there aren’t enough seat belts, but it’s what we have to do.”

Hana, Qiqi, Tessa, Farasha, and Nahida all piled in, with Nahida and Qiqi sitting on Tessa and Farasha’s laps. 

“Where to?” Miss Militia asked. “Unless someone else knows how to drive.”

“I’ll give you directions. Go down the street, then turn left,” Nurse Hana said, wiggling up to stick her head between the passenger and driver’s seats.

Nahida turned to the last one, the one called Doctor Mother, and put a hand on her leg. “I know you have many questions, but the answer to the first is yes. I am she. The second is no, the Simurgh isn’t dead, but she is defeated for now. The rest will have to wait. I’m sorry, but things are at a tipping point, and every moment matters. Just know that later, I hope we can have a long talk.”

Doctor Mother slowly nodded, her eyes misting over slightly. “How… how many?” she asked as the car peeled away.

“None in the attack, but 22 died in the riots before I was able to soothe them,” Nahida said forlornly. “A terrible price to pay. I failed again.”

“Alright, that’s enough!” Farasha snapped. She reached over and squeezed Nahida’s arm, while Qiqi leaned over and hugged Nahida. “Little Radish, do you have any idea what you’ve done?! You just stopped the most terrifying Endbringer cold, then you overthrew a tyrannical government in a single day! That’s not failure!”

“I… I… b-but I… I’m not a very good Archon,” Nahida said plaintively. “Greater Lord Rukkhadevata or Morax, or Beelzebul-”

“Blah, blah, blah, blabbity blah blah blah,” Farasha said, raising one hand and opening and shutting her fingers as she rolled her eyes. “Nahida, you just saved an entire city, and maybe even a whole country. I don’t even know who those other jerks are, but you are right about one thing.”

“What’s that?” Nahida asked, dreading being compared to Greater Lord Rukkhadevata once more, even if she’d brought it up. 

This time, however, Farasha managed to surprise her. “You’re not a good Archon. You’re the best.”

Nahida teared up again, closing her eyes and letting Qiqi just hug her.

Doctor Mother cleared her throat, and Farasha lost her good temper to glare at the woman. “What? You got something to say?”

“Yes, actually,” Doctor Mother said, giving Farasha a faint smile. She turned to Nahida, her expression growing serious. “Nahida, if that is your name, I have been fighting to defend humanity for many long years now. I would say since before you were born, but I have a suspicion that you are somewhat older than you appear.”

“Fighting to expand the American Empire and oppress anyone who stands in your way,” Farasha muttered darkly. 

“Today… today is my birthday,” Nahida hiccuped, forcing a smile.

“Happy Birthday, Qiqi,” her sister said seriously. “Yay.”

“T-thank you, Qiqi. I am… I am 506 years old,” Nahida admitted. 

“I see,” Doctor Mother said, looking slightly faint as Farasha smirked at her. “Well. Let me just say this then: What you have accomplished today is the greatest victory humanity has attained, ever. Not the Raiden Shogun’s slaying of Leviathan, not the Battle of Munich and Barbatos’ defeat of Khonsu, but what you did today to the Simurgh. Not one single death. Not one person driven mad. And a blow for freedom against tyranny? Miss Saeed: This is the greatest achievement of anyone, Archon, Parahuman, or Vision Holder. Ever.”

“I…” Nahida swallowed, and bowed her head. “You offer me great praise…”

“Well, before we all forget,” Tessa said brightly. “Let’s sing Happy Birthday! Ready? Begin!” 

Everyone sang, even Contessa and Miss Militia, who was still careening through the now empty streets. 

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday, Nahida

Happy Birthday to you

“You look like a radish,” Farasha sang, kissing Nahida on the forehead. 

“And you smell like one too,” Qiqi said in her normal monotone, getting a thumbs up from Farasha. She’d sung along though, and gave Nahida a small smile. 

Tessa gave Nahida a hug. “Happy Birthday. And thank you.”

Nahida tried to smile and nod, but she was crying too hard. Maybe…just maybe…it was a good birthday, after all. 

COG: Always a fan of seeing South Park Satan’s boyfriend get his just desserts.

PHILO: You know, it’s fitting that the tyrant is an afterthought. It was the people who mattered in the end, and it’s only fitting that they were the focus.

Dr Feelgood: Nahida hearing exactly what she needs to, from both Dr. Mom and real mom might be my favorite part of the chapter.

OCTOBER: Yeah, the situation is incredibly tense, but warm fuzzies are still warm fuzzies. Hug the radish, she deserves it.