When Femdom Gets Fishy (Patreon)

Hello my horny bottom boys and feisty Femme tops!

In the past, I've used my February Mistress Speaks to do a Valentine's Day post. This year, I've been reminded constantly how heavily commercialized the holiday is and that got me thinking about another topic. It's one that I've given a lot of thought, but have yet to arrive on a decisive position. I'm talking about Financial Domination AKA "Findom."

I've noticed many Female Dominants have a strong opinion on this issue. Especially ones who do classic, in-person domination services. Who can blame them? When you've put in years of training to be a Dominatrix and invested heavily in equipment and toys, it can be very off-putting to watch others rake in hundreds or thousands of dollars per day with nothing but some chest / feet pics and a little texting.

Often, that's all that's required before being rewarded with showers of money. It's become so lucrative that one can't go on Twitter and search "Femdom" without seeing endless posts by women showing a few selfies and demanding "tribute" from "pay pigs." You have to wonder how many of these women are actually into BDSM / kink and which are just looking to make a quick buck for doing relatively little in return.

On the other hand, there's obviously a market for it. Is it really so different than traditional domination? Anything between consenting adults, right? That's a reasonable default position on matters of kink, but it's important to consider when something might be crossing the line into genuine exploitation.

While the dynamic in play suggests it's the woman who would be doing the exploiting (and I think that's true in most instances), that's not always the case. Here's an interesting article on how Findom can go bad in the opposite direction: "My stint as a financial dominatrix taught me free money isn’t all it seems. Who has the power?" 

The most mercenary form of Femdom is ultimately about a transaction where a woman is paid and a man gets the treatment he craves (even if that treatment is doing whatever the woman says, within limits.) I tend to think of Femdom as something deeper than that. That it should be about nurturing people, fostering healthy relationships and allowing both parties to enjoy the power dynamic and reach a state of blissful contentment. I doubt I would enjoy Femdom as much if I was practicing it in a way that was purely transactional.

But that's my view of Female Domination and the way I choose to engage with it. Not all Femdom is going to be the harmonious kind. Not everyone who's into BDSM wants that. Some genuinely desire to receive humiliation, pain and degradation with no other goal or expectation. Some Dommes see it as just another job. They do what they have to and clock out. Findom seems to fit that model.

Perhaps now you can see why I don't have firm position one way or the other? It's a many layered thing. I worry about the men who feel this compulsion to throw money at Dommes they never even develop a rapport with. Women who may not even really be Dommes. But at the end of the day, I'm inclined to say "live and let live." If someone wants to have their bank account drained by a random woman online, who am I to object?

How about you, dear reader? What do you think of Findom? Poll down below. You can select multiple answers in this one, if you like.

I'm glad I settled on this topic. I know it's a good one when I say more than I thought I would. Sometimes it turns into a ramble, but that's the nice thing about speaking to a captive audience of gagged sluts. I can go on as long as I want and you can't do anything but listen. ;-)

Look for James' next story soon. Until next time, stay naughty my cheeky cherubs!

Yours Truly,

Mistress Cereza